- “So this girl was playing outside and she found a doll and the doll was really cute, so she took it home. Her mom said to put it back because it wasn’t hers and probably someone lost it. But she didn’t. And so she-(another listener poked her at this point) No. -and so she put her and so she slept and she put the doll on the floor in her room. Yeah before she went to bed. Then she started hearing weird noises. (Other listeners make weird noises.) And she thought it was coming from the doll, so she put it at the bottom of the stairs, and she went back to bed. After about 5 minutes, she heard the noises again, so she checked outside to see if it was the doll. And the doll was halfway up the stairs. And then she moved it back down to the bottom of the stairs and went back to bed. And about after an hour she heard the weird noises again. And then so she checked to see if it was the doll again. This time the doll was at the top of the stairs. (Inflating balloon noises from listeners.) K, and so she went back she moved it back to the bottom of the stairs and she went back to bed. Then after about 2 hours, she heard the noises again. This time she was sure it was the doll. And so she opened the door and the doll was at her feet. Cue screaming noises…” Me: Is that the end? “No, do you get it? The doll killed her? Yeah. It was possessed.” Collected from a 10-year-old girl who heard from a male classmate in the fourth grade at her private Catholic school.
Author Archives: Margaret Admire
Mars
- “There’s a place on Mars, where the babies smoke cigars, and the men wear bikinis and the women drink martinis and every step you take is enough to kill a snake, when the snake is dead, put mustard on it’s head, when the mustard dries you put diamonds in it’s eyes, when the diamond breaks in 1948-Freeze (Chief.)”- Song collected from a 10-year-old girl who learned it on the playground from a friend. She said the last word could be either “freeze” or “chief,” “depending on what you felt like.”
Lemonade Rhyme
“Lemonade. *Clap clap clap* Crunchy Ice.. *Clap clap clap* Stir it once. *Clap clap clap* Stir it twice. *Clap clap clap* Lemonade. Crunchy Ice. Stir it once. Stir it twice. Turn around touch the ground, kick your boyfriend out of town, flip your hair, freeze. (Word)… Then you have a staring contest.”- Collected from a 10-year-old girl and a 17-year-old girl, each of whom learned separately it from friends in elementary school. The difference between the two performances was the addition of the the term “Word.” in the version given by the 10-year old. The rhyme is supposed to lead up to a staring contest, and popular among kids in the “carline” when they wait in a parking lot for their parents to pick them up from school.
Your Momsical: The Musical
“So anytime someone mentions a musical, we say: ‘Your momsical’s a musical.’ Like a ‘your mom’ joke but with musicals.”- collected from my sister, a 17-year-old, who says the joke circulates among the teens in her high school’s theatre program.
Hell Week
- “Another one, and I think this is pretty common for most football teams, in freshman year, the freshman football team, we had to go through a thing called hell week, and hell weeks is where we had to stay in the high school gymnasium and sleep there, get up at eight and sleep at ten… It was basically like a military boot camp where there were constant drills and constant paces and they would randomly shave your head- and some people would get a pattern on their head, of phallic origins that maybe you didn’t want. If the person had been acting up they would get a symbol that wasn’t so nice. The coaches broke you down as a group together as a hope that you would grow as a team – kinda makes you like a band of brothers.”
- Collected from my friend who played football his freshman year of high school. He did not enjoy high school, and did not continue on the team. Thus, the hazing ritual seemed to have done more harm than good for him.