This is the legend of the Voodoo Dick. So, there is this mountain climber and he has been to Everest a couple of times, and when you go climb Mount Everest it takes a good month and a half to climb to the top and everything, and so the only problem with going to climb Mount Everest is that his wife gets lonely, and so that last time that he went he cheated on him. She felt horrible and told him and he understands because he is gone for a month and a half, but he wants to make sure that it doesn’t happen again, so he asks his friends what he should do? His friend tells him he knows this guy and that he has this thing called the Voodoo Dick that I’m sure will keep your wife pleased without having her to cheat on you, so he gets this guys number and goes to this guy who’s like this magic type dude and his whole shop is like herbs and spices and weird things. So, he goes to this old man and says his friend told him about a Voodoo Dick, and do you know anything about that? Well, Yes I do, come into the back room. So, he takes him into the back room and says one moment, and so he is shuffling thorough some shelves, and brings this jar this big, dusty, dirty jar filled with this black murky water and you can’t tell what’s in there, and it’s just got this old hand written label that says Voodoo Dick, and so, the old man shows him that this is the Voodoo Dick that you want, let me show you how it works. And, so he untwists the cap and says Voodoo Dick the door, and this enormous, grotesque looking penis, he thinks that it could actually have been an actual human penis persevered, you know it could have been made out of this other thing, he doesn’t know what the old man, sorcerer is capable of making. So the old man says Voodoo Dick the door, and this giant enormous thing comes out and it starts banging on the door, just going at it on the door, and the guy is in shock, this enormous thing just floating through the air hitting the door like that, and then the old man say Voodoo Dick, Voodoo Dick stop right now, and the Voodoo Dick floats back and back into the jar and the top comes back and twists itself back on. So, the mountain climber, he’s impressed by this, and he say you know he explains the situation with his wife and how his wife would like this type of thing. So the guys says yeah, so I will sell it too you for $250 and so he give him the 250 bucks and the guy, the old man tells him that he needs to explain it to him how it works, basically say Voodoo Dick and the object that you want it to do its thing on and then it will do it on whatever you say to do it on and in order to get it to stop you need to say Voodoo Dick, Voodoo Dick stop right now, otherwise it won’t stop until you say that command, so the mans like ok, ok, ok, and so he wants it still and he buys it, and he goes back to his wife and he says honey, I know I am going to be gone for awhile, and I know you are going to get lonely, so I got you a gift. And he shows her the Voodoo Dick and he goes Voodoo Dick the wall, and you know the Voodoo Dick comes out and starts against the wall and the wife is visibly shocked and is like wow, this is going to be amazing, and he says Voodoo Dick, Voodoo Dick, stop right now, and the Voodoo Dick goes and floats back into the jar and the top of the jar twists on. So, he explains to his wife how it works and she loves him for this gift that he got her, and then he goes off and climbs his mountain and maybe three weeks into it his wife starts to feel lonely, so she decides that she is going to use the Voodoo Dick and this is her first time using the Voodoo Dick. So, she gets out the jar and says Voodoo Dick my pussy and the Voodoo Dick comes out and it starts you know having intercourse with her, this penis is going in and out, in and out , and after awhile she starts… at first it feel good, and then you know it get heated, and it get heated, and then she starts to have an orgasm, and in the heat of the moment it’s so amazing for her, it’s the best orgasm she has ever had, but she can’t remember how to get it to stop, she doesn’t remember the command. So she’s like stop Voodoo Dick, stop, stop, and she is like trying to pull it out, but it is just going at it. And, so she is crazy and out of breath, she doesn’t know what to do so she get her car keys and hops in her car, and starts driving to the hospital. And she starts to have another orgasm, and another orgasm, and she is swerving all over the road and she is in complete control of this Voodoo Dick that is going at it. She is still swerving all over the place, and so a police officer starts following her with the sirens and so the police officer is following her, and she doesn’t know what to do and she is trying to pull over, and she crashes into a tree, and she is just sitting there in the car just having more orgasms and so the police officer comes up and knocks on her door and she rolls down the window and she is just sitting the saying Voodoo Dick, Voodoo Dick, stop, stop. And the police officer is like are you on drugs, are you drunk? You’re driving like a crazy person, you just got into a wreck. She is just like Voodoo Dick, ahhhh, Voodoo Dick, ohhhhh, aaahhhhh, and the police officer looks and her and is like what are you trying to say? And all she can say is Voodoo Dick ahhhhhh, and the police officer says, Voodoo Dick my ass.

Jack thought that this legend has a clear meaning and that was that pleasure needs to be in moderation. He also thought that it was saying that it is more appropriate for people to pleasure themselves in more traditional ways than with a “giant, magical, cock.” Jack thought that the legend is telling us that you can have too much of a good thing. He gave analogies of drinking too much and being sick, or eating to much and getting sick.

I would have to agree with Jack on the analysis of this legend, that on a superficial pass it seems just like a long winded joke, but if you look at the hidden meaning there is a lesson to be learned about everything in moderation. I also think that in today’s world that we see jokes and things more along this subject material because it is becoming more socially acceptable to talk about these things in public. I also wouldn’t be surprised to hear about this legend anywhere, it isn’t as time and place specific. It is a little crude and rude, so it might appeal more to unmarried men, or younger people anywhere from high school age, through college age.

In Switzerland the border of Switzerland and France there is a separation created by a river. Basically on the Swiss side there is a mountain, it’s like a hill, but it’s just like a rock face. And you look at the rock face and you look at it at a certain angle it looks like exactly like the face of John Calvin the Protestant reformer. The story goes as when he visited the town that was right near there, there was at around the same time that he visited the town, that side of the hill just collapsed and then there was just his face.

Jack believes that since there is a strong following of Calvanists there that this is a legend that is used to further their belief that what John Calvin was teaching was the correct way to view religion. These people hold on to the legend because it proves that this sign is for the approval of Calvanism from God.

I believe this may have also been used by people to bring people to be Calvanist because it seems to be more acceptable if a religion has signs that point to why it is the correct way to view the world. In this case I think the sign of the hill side giving way to an image of John Calvin maybe slightly twisted because we do not know exactly how close this image is to what John Calvin looked like. Also, if you have to stand at a certain angle, to me that would mean that there is a good chance that there are other people in the world that would say it looks like someone else.

Had this happened in another country I think the image in the rock would be totally different. I believe that this is again a legend that is mainly told to people of the area. I think the most likely reason for know this legend would be from visiting the area.

Jack did visit the area and that is why he knows of the legend. I know only because I had asked for some folkloric tales. I believe had I not really asked for some folklore from him for this project that it would be unlikely  that he would have told me this legend.

This is the tale, the three saints of Zurich. Zurich, Switzerland has three patron saints because every town has a patron saint, and the ones in Zurich are particularly interesting because basically, I think it was 500, or 600, when they wanted to convert the city to Christianity, and basically there was this really evil king or whatever who wanted to execute them for trying to convert the city because he thought it was dangerous, so he like, I forget all the tortures he did, but I know he like boiled them in oil, in like bubbling oil and the burned, or whatever and eventually he did some other tortures, but he eventually just cut off their heads, all three of them and the legend goes that he buried them, but their head were decapitated, and the legend goes that at night or whatever that they rose from their graves, holding their heads they walked up the hill to the top of the mountain that was overlooking Zurich, and they carried their heads with them to the top of the mountain and buried themselves on top of the mountain.

Jack thought that this legend was proof of the area’s religious leanings and that this was the miracle that the saints performed in order to be considered saints. The idea he said was that God had to give them a special ability and that in this case it was rising from the dead and walking up the hill and reburying themselves. Jack also thought that this might be a popular legend among religious people because the saints end up closer to Heaven and God because they reburied themselves at the top of a mountain.

I think this legend is again popular with people of the town. It can be used to give the town an identity that separates if from other towns in the surrounding area. I believe that the legend is spread when you visit Zurich. Jack knows about the legend because of relatives that have visited Zurich, and come back and told him about the legend.

Another important thing is that the legend has three saints rather than any other number, I think this may have to do with three being a special number in Western religions. I also think the reburial of the saints at the top of a mountain is also suppose to show that if you were to follow in these saints beliefs that when you die, you will end up being closer to Heaven and God.

Annotation:

Hoffmann, Edith. Nineteenth-Century Pictures from Vienna, at Zurich. Vol. 108, No. 757 London: The Burlington Magazine Publications, Ltd.: 1966