Author Archives: Rebecca Southern

Stealing the groom’s shoes

Nationality: Bangladesh
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/28/13
Primary Language: English

My informant is from Bangladesh and goes to school in Los Angeles. He is studying mechanical engineering in school. His sister got married last summer (he husband was also from Bangladesh) so I asked him about any wedding traditions. He told me about two, but they are related so I put them in one entry. The first is a tradition where someone from the bride’s side steals the grooms shoes during the ceremony and the groom must back whoever stole them a sum of money. The second is that the groom’s side of the family must pay the bride’s side at the door to get into the wedding reception, which is hosted by the bride’s family. It is sort of a joke and fun tradition.

Rebecca: Okay, so can you tell me about weddings?

I: Weddings, okay well my sister got married this past summer. So from personal experience, one of the customs is that someone from the bride’s family tries to steal the groom’s shoes. The idea is that you’ll steal them and eventually sell them back to the groom and make a prophet because the groom is going to want his shoes back, because they are his wedding shoes.

Rebecca: Like the ones that he is wearing?

I: The ones that he’s wearing, off his feet.

Rebecca: So when? After the wedding or before

I: During. At some point. Because customarily the groom is sitting for a large part of the wedding. So if you can creep in there under the table or something, or have people hold him down while you steal his shoes, that’s the thing. So my brother successfully stole his shoes. Its on video.

R: Your brother stole your brother in laws shoes, during the wedding? How did he do it? Like when?

I: He literally ran up and swiped them off his feet.

R: just like during the ceremony?

I: yeah, because you have to remember that they are kind of like Aladdain shoes, they are not tied on, and he sold them back for a large amount of money

R: And how do people react? Do they think that’s funny?

I: And everyone laughed. You don’t have to do it, its just a customary thing. Similarly, at the beginning of the wedding, the girl’s family, who’s throwing the wedding. The wedding reception is from the girl’s side. They bar the husband from entering, until they pay a large sum. At the gate. It is literally this large heckling battle between the groom’s side and the bride’s side. Where its like, “you can’t come in with all your guests until you pay.” It’s a total joke. Often they hand over like a suitcase full of money, which has like monopoly money you know inside. Its just fun and games.

R: So then after his shoes were stolen, he had to buy them back later. After the wedding or way later?

I: You talk about it after the wedding. Like my brother got a few hundred bucks

R: seriously?  So can anyone steal them? Or do you choose someone to do it beforehand?

I: Anyone on the bride’s side. Its anyone who is capable of doing it.

R: does this mean anything to you?

I: To me it shows that even at your wedding you are already having a good time with the other family.

My informant enjoys this tradition because it is pretty funny and amusing to watch. I think that this practice is important for weddings because it may help bring the two families closer together, if the bride’s side must steal the groom’s shoes. Also, the paying of money to enter the wedding reception is another way of bringing the families together. It seems that because more modern weddings do not require real money to enter the reception, the tradition has taken on more of a joking or playful side. The person who successfully stole the shoes was able to actually make money in this case. Additionally, I found this story very interesting because another one of my informants from Russia told me about a wedding tradition in which the bride’s show is stolen. (See my other entry for that story). I have also found through my collections a common theme of the different sides of the family paying each other, or stealing things from each other. These themes were seen both in this collection and my Russian wedding collections.

Orange Blossom- Family Superstition

Nationality: Moroccan
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/28/13
Primary Language: English
Language: French, Arabic, Chinese, Spanish

Informant: My next story is relatively recent. So, my grandfather, he had an older brother who is much, significantly older than him. Like, old enough that his nephews were in some cases older than him. And what happened was that the land when their father died, the land was divided in two between the two brothers. My grandfather and his older brother. But multiple families were living on this land. Because my grandfather’s older brother had two sons, so now the people who were living on this land, my grandfather, his older brother and his families and my grandfather had just gotten there. So he only had a wife, he didn’t have any kinds. While half the family had 3 families on it, and one half had just a couple. And what had happened was so on the land that we had. We had a lot of orange trees and the thing that Moroccans really love is orange trees and Moroccans like the extract from orange blossoms. That’s something they did a lot of, was sell these orange blossoms that are used to get an extract that is used for cooking, for perfume, or plenty of things. So when the harvest happened and they got all their orange blossoms, the family on the other side of the land, because we have 4 or 5 families, we should divide them evenly. It’s not fair. When Technically my grandfather had the right to claim half of the harvest because he had half the land. But they were like no, because you are just a young guy with a wife. And his mother realized that there could be a lot of family drama and she did not want that to happen. So she told my grandfather, “look, just let them have it. That’s what’s going to happen. People are going to cheat you all the time.” And she created this rule that no Biaz should ever extract orange blossoms on their own. Like you should always get it from outside. So even though we harvest and have orange blossoms, the rule was not to use it for our own, so just to sell it and go buy it if we needed it. To avoid family drama. And its true, it did avoid the family drama and things were fine and his wife who respected that tradition, that rule. Because a lot of Moroccan wives like to do it, they like to create the extract themselves, like this is mine. And she was like I respect that, I won’t do that. She respected it, but then his second wife, who is my grandmother did not. And she started doing it in secret and she wanted to have her own orange blossom. She was like “No, this is stupid that some lady some time said we should do this.” So when that happened, let me think, where was I… She started doing it in secret. And then there was this, some sort of celebration, I think it was someone’s wedding. She was doing it in secret and she did it one night when my grandfather was off at work. she did it all, she got it all prepared and then the next day, when everyone was having the festivities, my dad, who was the youngest of 12, was 2 or 3 at the time and so he was just wandering around into the kitchen. And there was a large kettle of boiling water on the stove and somehow, somehow, it fell on him. And burned a good portion of his leg. And it was pretty severe burns. And he still has scars form it. And my grandmother flipped out and she assumed that it had something to do with her. She just blamed herself, and felt terrible about it. And she thought okay this must be related, and she never again extracted orange blossoms in secrete. Not only that, but when she got older and all of her sons got married, she made sure to tell every single one of their lives not to do orange blossoms. So to this day, no Biaz does any orange blossom extracts, even though we still have orange trees and orange blossoms.

Me: So what is the orange blossom extract?

Informant: Its like orange blossom, so its like a flower. On orange trees you have fruit, so we have oranges. They create an extract and create an extract out of it. And it’s a liquid and they love it for a bunch of things. They use it for food, cooking, and it smells really good. And they use it for perfume.

Me: When did you hear this story?

Informant: I was in twelfth grade.

Me: Why were you told? Why did it come up?

Informant: We just can’t make that even though we have it. Even the people that live there now, they are distant relatives, they still can’t.

Me: Is your dad scared of orange blossoms now because they burned him?

Informant: (laughs) My dad kind of thinks its amusing. But, but, there are some of his sisters in law who are scared.

Me: Do they want to extract orange blossoms? Why do people want to do that in Morocco?

Informant: Because it is fun, it is something that is your own. And you can have it around the house. And its not always the same, depending on how you prepare it. Its kind of like a dish. Like how certain families eat certain things. Like, “my mom makes it this way and its really nice” so its just kind of their own flavor, you know what I mean.

Me: Did some of their wives, they used to not make it and now they cant?

Informant: Some of them yes.

: Why do you tell that story? Or any of these stories that you have told me

Informant: Well, so my dad is the youngest of 12, but he is the one that tells the stories the most. And they say that he is always telling stories, and most of the stories that he tells me, my cousins don’t know because their fathers don’t tell them. Or they just don’t talk about it. And I think that it is, it is just aw ay for me, after having moved away, to kind of get back. And they say that there is always, that even back, the Biazes, there has always been a son who kind of becomes the storyteller. That’s the one who passes it along. So I guess this time it is my dad. So he took it upon himself.

Me: So now it’s on you, because you have no brothers right?

Informant: So now it’s on me, yes. All the stories. I do like listening to the stories.

This collection was very rich in that I not only got a story, but a story that developed into a strong family superstition. This item is a narrative and a superstition. No one in the Biaz family extracts orange blossoms to this day, because of this story. My informants grandmother made sure to tell every one of her daughter in-laws that they can never extract orange blossoms, and this is actually followed in their family. From this collection, I also learned a lot about Moroccan culture, and the importance of orange blossom extraction. The preparation of the orange extracts is also another form of folklore. My informant told me how Moroccan women love to do this because they can make it their own creation and use it for different things. However, in this family, this traditional practice is banned. The point my informant makes about the passing down of the stories is also important. My informant’s very distant family (see other entries) were very small, so he confirms that the accuracy of the stories by saying they were all passed down “father to son, father to son.” My informant’s father was the youngest son, and my informant notes that he is the one that knows all of the stories and tells them. My informant, being the only son in his family, will be the next active bearer. My informant shares these stories because they are funny and interesting, but also are important to him personally because they involve his ancestors.

Origin of the last name Biaz

Nationality: Moroccan
Age: 18
Occupation: Film student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/28/13
Primary Language: English
Language: French, Arabic, Chinese, Spanish

My informant was born in Fez, Morocco, then moved to the United States, and then moved back to Morocco but to the mountains when he was five years old. He attended high school in Auburn, Alabama. My informant told me stories about the origin of his last name, how is family got to Morocco, folklore stories about his family, and a family superstition. All three stories that I collected were passed down from father to son to father to son, my informant being the son. My informant’s father, who is one of twelve children in his family, became the active bearer of this family lore. My informant is the only son in his family, so he commented that he will be the active bearer after his father passes. My informant speaks French at home, and these stories were translated from French to English. The setting is an apartment bedroom in Los Angeles.

Informant: The origin of my last name/family.  So this is the story because the Biazes have long been just father son father son father son so the stories have been passed down pretty well. And pretty consistently from father to son. And also because before my grandfather no Biaz had ever had more than 2-3 children which is actually kind of atypical in Morroccan family. SO because of that we had a very small family so it was very easy to track our history. SO, what happened was that sometime in the very very distant past, a sultan in Persia wanted to offer a gift to some nobility in Spain and he decided to send him these birds of prey mainly falcons to be trained to send messages. But with the falcons, he sent a trainer and that trainer is called a Biaz because falcons are called “baz” in the English transliteration of the Arabic word. So that is what happened and of course at this time, people were known by their occupation which was essentially his last name. And he had a family and for a couple hundred years our family was in Spain, and then the Reconquista happened. And that pushed a lot of the Arabs down to Morocco so that’s how we ended up in Morocco, which is wear we are to this day. So we started in Persia, stayed in Spain for a long time, then pushed down to Morocco. And all through this time we remained birds of prey trainer. I think we even had a family crest. And then we were in Fez Morocco ever since. And that’s where I was born.

Me: So those stories were passed down from father to son-father to son? What was the first time you heard this story?

Informant: The first time I heard the family origin story was years and year  and years ago. I don’t remember. I think I’ve always known that story.

This story is important to my informant because it is the story of the origin of his family’s name. He says that when the topic of names comes up, he always has a good story to tell, while some of his friends have no idea where their names come from. He also validates the family stories by the fact that they were passed down father to son for many generations. The small size of his family also makes it easy to pass down.

Visiting graves on Easter tradition

Nationality: Russian
Age: 33
Occupation: graduat student
Residence: Pasadena, CA
Performance Date: 4/16
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English, French, Czech

My informant is from Lipitsk, Russia. She moved to the United States for graduate studies, and is a graduate student at USC at the age of 33. I collected many superstitions from my informant, and also wedding traditions, using her own wedding as an example.

Informant: So for Easter, Easter is an Ortho-Christian holiday so in a Russian-orthodox Church, the Christ resurrection, resurrection of Christ but in the old pagan tradition, it used to be that people went…It was like the day of the day. So the people they also went to church they also went to the cemetery. And they brought like um little pieces of food, some eggs, and some shots of vodka, and left it on the graves…and communicate with the dead. So and of course the church was very much against it because, again, it is a superstition. Its about liberating Christ and communicating with your dead ones at the grave. But it still happens. And its like every- I mean it been happening, even the soviet rejection of religion they couldn’t. Even now for Easter, now everyone goes to the cemetery to leave some food, or some vodka at the grave…Unless you don’t have anybody who is technically. I mean, If you don’t have anybody buried in this area so you don’t have go. But if you have somebody you can go there, within the proximity. So its not you know, relatives buried in Siberia and you are in Moscow. But if you know, lets say you live in Los Angeles and its in proximity. IF the cemetery is in proximity and you have someone there. So that’s why, when I was young I didn’t have anybody.. Because our family moved so we didn’t have any older relatives buried anywhere, so we didn’t have anybody to visit technically in the cemetery. And I remember when there was the Easter day, you know, my friends, id be like “Oh guys lets hang out and they’d be like, “we are going to the cemetery with our parents.” And I didn’t have anybody.

Me: Where did you move from?

Informant: Its actually not me, its my family. But they moved from Moscow, my grandparents moved from Moscow to Lipitsk. So a smaller city so that’s where they stayed. So their parents were killed so that’s why I didn’t have any great grandparents. I didn’t have any uncles or aunts. Just my grandparents, parents and me.

My informant herself did not participate in the practice of visiting graves on Easter because she did not have family in the area. However, this practice was very common among my informants friends, who would all go to the the graves of loved ones on Easter. I think this practice fits with Easter because the holiday has to do with the dying and rising of Christ.

If you see a woman carrying empty buckets, it is bad luck

Nationality: Russian
Age: 33
Occupation: graduate student in Computer Science
Residence: Pasadena, CA
Performance Date: 4/16
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English, French, Czech

My informant is from Lipitsk, Russia. She moved to the United States for graduate studies, and is a graduate student at USC at the age of 33. I collected many superstitions from my informant, and also wedding traditions, using her own wedding as an example.

Informant: So lets see… The traditional superstitions. One of them have to do with women. For good luck and bad luck, women are always viewed as bad luck (laughs). So if you leave your house in the morning and see a woman with empty buckets or empty anything, that’s bad luck for the whole day…. uh in the village it used to be that they would carry water in the buckets. So I guess that’s how it came from. They would go like to the well to get water. So if you had full buckets of water, then that was a good luck. But if you saw them with empty buckets just going there, it was bad luck. The city of course they don’t go to the well anymore. Buuut they do carry the buckets to the trash dumpsters. I guess if she has a bucket full of trash it is better luck than no trash.  It’s a pretty powerful one. I remember going to the exam, and I would just make sure.. I would as my mom “Mom, can you go ahead of me and check to make sure there’s no woman in front of me, you know. (laughs)

Me: Do you know where you heard it from?

Informant: I cant say.. its just in the culture. Its like the black cat….Yeah, its just kind of something everyone knows.

This is an example of a Russian superstition. My analysis is that the empty buckets could symbolize emptiness in life or lack of money. My informant also noted that in Russia, women are always associated with bad luck. This is a common theme across all Russian superstitions, which is important to note in this example. If there is a man carrying something empty, then it would mean nothing. However, it is usually the woman who would be doing this sort of housework.