Author Archives: Valery Zhukova

Dirty Dentist Joke

Nationality: Former Soviet Union/Ukranian/Russian
Age: 50
Occupation: Business Owner
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/10/18
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English

Main Piece: [Dirty] Joke

Original:

Женщина идет к дантисту в местной клинике. Когда она идет по коридору, она ошибочно входит в кабинет гинеколога, понимает, что это не то место, и идет к следующей двери. Она садится на стул дантиста. Входит доктор, сильно пахнущий водкой. Он подходит к ней и говорит: «Ок, открывай!» Она открывает рот. Он говорит: «Ок, немного шире!» она открывает рот шире. Он восклицает: «Эй, у тебя там зубы!»

Phonetic:

Zhenshchina idet k dantistu v mestnoy klinike. Kogda ona idet po koridoru, ona oshibochno vkhodit v kabinet ginekologa, ponimayet, chto eto ne to mesto, i idet k sleduyushchey dveri. Ona saditsya na stul dantista. Vkhodit doktor, sil’no pakhnushchiy vodkoy. On podkhodit k ney i govorit: «Ok, otkryvay!» Ona otkryvayet rot. On govorit: «Ok, nemnogo shire!» ona otkryvayet rot shire. On vosklitsayet: «Ey, u tebya tam zuby!»

Translation:

A woman goes to the dentist at the local clinic. As she’s walking through the hall, she mistakenly walks into the gynecologist’s office, realizes it is the wrong place, and goes to the next door. She sits down in the dentist’s chair. A doctor walks in, smelling strongly of vodka. He comes up to her and says “Ok, open wide!” She opens her mouth. He says, “Ok, a little wider!” she opens her mouth wider. He exclaims, “Hey, you have teeth down there!”

 

Background Information:

  • Why does informant know this piece?

He likes to tell jokes and learns them wherever he can.

  • Where did they learn this piece?

He learned this joke at a party.

  • What does it mean to them?

He thinks this is a hilarious joke.

 

Context:

  • Where?

At a party or other social gathering.

  • When?

Whenever it is appropriate to tell a joke.

  • Why?

In order to amuse people and make some people uncomfortable

 

Personal Thoughts:

I’ve heard this joke since I was a small child, but I only understood that a drunk gynecologist accidentally ended up in the dentist’s office and why that is amusing when I grew a lot older. These kinds of jokes are very common at Russian parties and gatherings. The most popular jokes are as always, the most inappropriate.

Garlic around the Neck keeps Sickness Away

Nationality: American/Italian/Irish
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/12/18
Primary Language: English

Main Piece: Folk Medicine

My grandma, she was born in 1935… was always told by her aunt, in order to not catch a cold or a flu, you had to put a necklace of raw garlic around your neck. Like what you would do to ward off a vampire. She put the raw clove of garlic around her neck when she went to school and she never got sick.

 

Background Information:

  • Why does informant know this piece?

It was told to her to teach her how to ward off illness.

  • Where did they learn this piece?

It was told to her by her grandmother.

  • What does it mean to them?

It’s an interesting trick to ward off illness.

 

Context:

  • Where?

n/a

  • When?

When you are afraid you will get sick

  • Why?

To avoid getting sick.

 

Personal Thoughts:

I think that this folk medicine works because garlic does not smell very good, and so people would avoid contact with a person who is wearing garlic, therefore preventing them from getting sick.

Ghost in Blues Hall

Nationality: American/Italian/Irish
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/12/18
Primary Language: English

Main Piece: Ghost Legend

My aunt on my mother’s side lives in a small town in Mississippi that’s called bay St. Louis. And she and her husband after Catrina moved out of the house because of bad juju and stuff: they were the only house to survive on the street so they wanted to leave. They didn’t leave the town but they moved to a blues hall up the road, and this specific blues hall is special because during the prohibition all of the town mostly black population gathered in the blues hall had live music dancing and alcohol, and notoriously when you are doing thing that are illegal, bad things are going to happen. Because of their illegal escapades, there were deaths in the hall. My aunt and uncle knew this when they moved in, but they renovated half of it to be a home, and then left the other half and created a business throwing events. About a year or so after living in the blues hall, my aunt calls my mom and says “you wont believe this the craziest thing just happened” she explained to my mom that she heard illegible voices, mumbles, incoherent, coming from somewhere in her house. She walks into the party room and watches her 12 foot table get dragged across the room. But there was no one else in the room. Now she claims that she hears voices an’ that things will get misplaced, and she is very adamant about this. She thinks this is supernatural. Nothing harmful has happened.

 

Background Information:

  • Why does informant know this piece?

It was told to her by her maternal aunt.

  • Where did they learn this piece?

Learned this 5 years ago at a gathering.

  • What does it mean to them?

It’s a story that made her believe in ghosts.

 

Context:

In main piece above

 

Personal Thoughts:

Inexplicable events are often assumed to be the work of ghosts. Even if an event is not witnessed by the person themselves, if they hear it from a trusted relative, they are likely to believe it and therefore believe in the supernatural entity described in the story.

Smart Pills Prank

Nationality: American/Italian/Irish
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/12/18
Primary Language: English

Main Piece: Prank/Joke

So I used to hear this a lot when I was about 6-7 years old from my dad. Who heard it from his grandfather. When my dad was younger he would always try to pull pranks on his friends, as he friends would to him, so one day he went up to his grandfather and asked if he had any ideas. My great grandfather said: Robbie, have you ever heard of smart pills? My dad replied, no. So my great grandfather went on to explain that my dad should pick up some rabbit pellets (rabbit poop) and put them in a pill bottle. Then, go up to your friends and say, Hey! wanna smart pill? it’ll make you super smart and hand them the pill bottle. Now I don’t think my dad actually gave anyone a rabbit pellet, but the meaning stands.

 

Background Information:

  • Why does informant know this piece?

It was told to her as an amusing anecdote

  • Where did they learn this piece?

It was told to her by her father.

  • What does it mean to them?

It’s an amusing prank that was played by her father.

 

Context:

Described in main piece.

 

Personal Thoughts:

This seems like a common game in the U.S., where there is a strong tradition of pranking people to eat things that they would never normally eat.

Russian Children’s Song about a Sheep

Nationality: Former Soviet Union / Ukrainian / Russian
Age: 50
Occupation: Business Owner
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/10/18
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English

Main Piece: Russian Song/Rhyme

Протекала речка, / через речку мост, / на мосту овечка, / у овечки хвост.
Эх, раз, два, три, четыре, пять, шесть, семь, aх семь, шесть, пять, четыре, три, два, один.
Пересохла речка, / развалился мост, / умерла овечка, / отвалился хвост.
Эх, раз, два, три, четыре, пять, шесть, семь, aх семь, шесть, пять, четыре, три, два, один.
Мне не жалко речки, / мне не жаль моста, / мне не жаль овечки, / а мне жаль хвоста.
Эх, раз, два, три, четыре, пять, шесть, семь, aх семь, шесть, пять, четыре, три, два, один.

Не было-б речки, / не было-б моста. / Не было-б овечки, / не было-б хвоста.

Эх, раз, два, три, четыре, пять, шесть, семь, aх семь, шесть, пять, четыре, три, два, один.

Phonetic:

Protekala rechka, / cherez rechku most, / na mostu ovechka, / u ovechki khvost.
Ekh, raz, dva, tri, chetyre, pyat’, shest’, sem’, akh sem’, shest’, pyat’, chetyre, tri, dva, odin.
Peresokhla rechka, / razvalilsya most, / umerla ovechka, / otvalilsya khvost.
Ekh, raz, dva, tri, chetyre, pyat’, shest’, sem’, akh sem’, shest’, pyat’, chetyre, tri, dva, odin.
Mne ne zhalko rechki, / mne ne zhal’ mosta, / mne ne zhal’ ovechki, / a mne zhal’ khvosta.
Ekh, raz, dva, tri, chetyre, pyat’, shest’, sem’, akh sem’, shest’, pyat’, chetyre, tri, dva, odin.
Ne bylo-b rechki, / ne bylo-b mosta. / Ne bylo-b ovechki, / ne bylo-b khvosta.
Ekh, raz, dva, tri, chetyre, pyat’, shest’, sem’, akh sem’, shest’, pyat’, chetyre, tri, dva, odin.

Translation:

A river ran / a bridge across the river. / On the bridge a sheep, / the sheep had a tail.

Eh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ah seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

The river ran dry, / the bridge fell apart. / The sheep died, / the tail fell off.

Eh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ah seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

I do not feel sorry for the river, / I do not feel sorry for the bridge, / I do not feel sorry for the sheep, / but I’m sorry for the tail.

Eh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ah seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

If here was no river, / there would be no bridge. / If there was no sheep, / there would be no tail.

Eh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ah seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

 

Background Information:

  • Why does informant know this piece?

This is a song/rhyme that he learned in kindergarden.

  • Where did they learn this piece?

The Soviet Union.

  • What does it mean to them?

Its just a funny song/rhyme that can be accompanied by a guitar. While it is associated with children, it is also often associated with being drunk and wanting to sing.

 

Context:

  • Where?

At enjoyable gatherings.

  • When?

For children, whenever. For adults, usually when under the influence of alcohol.

  • Why?

For enjoyment.

 

Personal Thoughts:

My father and uncles and grandfathers taught me this song. If was always very fun to sing until the couplet when the sheep dies, which used to make me sad. It is a very strange and ironic song.