Category Archives: Proverbs

“Closed mouths don’t get fed”

Nationality: American
Age: 46
Occupation: Engineer
Residence: Houston, Texas
Performance Date: 02/21/2023
Primary Language: English

1. Text (proverb)

“Closed mouths don’t get fed”

2. Context 

The informant heard this from his father numerous times growing up. He and his father use and interpret this proverb as a way of saying you need to speak up for what you want because if you don’t ask, nobody knows that you want or need anything. My informant heard this proverb from his father. He characterized his father as assertive and outspoken. Growing up, it was encouraged in the informant’s household for them to speak up to be heard and use their voice, don’t be passive. He came from a large, loud family where it was uncommon for people to engage passively with one another. Almost everyone had a voice and wanted to use it, because after all, “closed mouths don’t get fed.”

3. Analysis/YOUR interpretation

I have heard this saying numerous times growing up from my grandfather and from adults in my family in general, though I’ve never heard the saying outside of the south. This is an example of a proverb, it’s a piece of metaphorical advice often given to more stereotypically soft-spoken or passive. While I’ve heard of the proverb and understand the meaning behind it, I recognize I don’t usually appreciate it when this is said to me as I feel as though it can sometimes come off as disingenuous and has a more negative connotation to me. In saying “closed mouths don’t get fed”, I interpreted it as if you don’t speak up for yourself and voice your opinion on what you want, how will anyone else know what you want or need? While this piece of advice does have some truth to it, the saying itself doesn’t seem like it would be taken as exceedingly positive when told to a more passive person. For people who are more extroverted and who thrive in social situations or gain energy/confidence from social interactions, speaking may be as necessary as eating for them, hence the comparison of closed mouths not getting food. In line with Alan Dundes’ definition, this proverb, like many others, is concise and expressive of my informant’s worldview. This proverb in particular is expressive of an assertive, outspoken view where speaking up, gets your voice heard. 

A guest is equivalent to God

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: student
Residence: Houston, Texas
Performance Date: 2-20-23
Primary Language: English

Text:

“A guest is equivalent to God”

Context

NT is my roommate at USC and a very close friend. Her parents are originally from Southern India and moved to the U.S. thirty years ago. As a family, they have moved around a bit and have lived in New York and Michigan, and now reside in Texas.

NT- There is one saying that I feel like my mom has burned into my brain, “Athithi Devo Bhavaa.” She would always say it in Hindi, but the English translation is “A guest is equivalent to God.”

Interviewer- Would she say it only when specific people were coming over?

NT- No it didn’t really matter who was coming. But if she knew someone was planning to drop by, she would always shout the phrase in Hindi as a reminder to me, especially since I am an only child (rolls her eyes).

Interviewer- Do you know of a specific origin of the phrase, or does it just come from the cultural view of how important guests are?

NT- So there’s like a story in India that apparently some of our Gods will periodically go in random people’s houses and see how they are treated. It’s like a test to make sure you are being kind and welcoming to everyone.

Analysis:

This folk simile originated in India as a reminder to treat everyone well. Interestingly, the phrase instructs one to treat guests not just as they would want to be treated, but as a God. This implies that one should put their guests’ wants and needs above their own, as they do with their higher powers. The second element of this folk simile is the proverbial warning attached to the origin story. It implies that any time, a test could be administered to you unknowingly, likely with consequences if you fail. The possibility that a person or a family could receive a punishment directly from a deity, is a motivator to treat everyone very well. The phrase is told even to small children, which indicates how serious it is in Indian culture.

Bottom of my shoes

Nationality: Greek
Age: 82
Residence: Northridge, Los Angeles
Performance Date: 2-22-23
Primary Language: Greek
Language: english

Text:

“I will write your name on the bottom of my old shoes” (Σε γράφω στα παλιά μου τα παπούτσια)

Context:

EF is an eight-two-year-old woman who is like a surrogate grandma to me. She lives in Northridge, CA., but grew up in a small Greek village called Corfu; she remains very connected to her Greek heritage and culture. From her cooking to her proverbial warnings, she is filled with unique folklore that she loves to share. I facetimed EF and asked her to give me staple proverbs or sayings from her small village. She decided to share this proverb because it stood out in her mind.

EF- When a guy is very angry at another guy, he can say “I will write you on the bottom of my shoe.” That’s when they want nothing to do with each other. 

Interviewer- Can you remember a time when you heard someone say this?

EF- (in a serious tone) Yes! My ex-husband screamed it at my brother (bursts out laughing).

After she finished chuckling, she explained that it is a very serious insult but mostly exchanged between men.

Analysis:

Since the informant did not know when she heard this proverb, that pointed to a possible historical origin. I researched the phrase and found one explanation. According to the article, this insult dates back to a practice by a Babylonian king when firing the lords. The king would write the unlucky lord’s name on the bottom of a pair of old shoes and send them to him. This represented not only the lord’s loss of title but also that he meant nothing to the king anymore (Kontolemos, 2022). It is understandable why this is perceived as a very serious statement that is only used in intense arguments. The fact that this folk speech is still widely used in Greece illustrates how important history and tradition is in Greek culture. Beyond the Babylonian explanation, one could interpret this phrase as the person is so worthless that they belong under my shoe like trash. The theatrical nature of writing a person’s name on old shoes represents an ongoing insult because the name will never come off the shoes, just as the person who wronged you will never mean anything to you again.

Kontolemos, A. (2022, May 12). 11 greek expressions you should know. Mental Floss. Retrieved February 23, 2023, from https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/greek-phrases

That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles

Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 16, 2023
Primary Language: English

CONTEXT: 

K is a freshman at USC studying American Studies & Ethnicity (African American Studies). He plays video games with his family.

TEXT:

If I’m playing a game, and I’m losing, and I understand why that’s happening, I go ‘well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.’ I think it was like my brother. And my sister. I can’t remember exactly which one, but we were playing a game together. I think it was on Nintendo, so I think it was Smash. And I lost to my siblings, like several times, because I’m not very good at that game. They’re like masters. And I’m just like, ‘well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.’ Because like, I had basically no chance to win from then to there. But most of the time they’ll be kicking my ass. Like every which way.

ANALYSIS:

There are lots of variations on this saying, such as “such is life,” or “it is what it is.” Essentially, this particular saying seems to represent another way to express how it all breaks down — how everything happens. To people who use it, it seems to denote an acceptance of an unpleasant reality, in which nothing can be changed about how what’s happened has happened, or how the cookie has crumbled. The idea that it is specifically a cookie crumbling, however, rather than a cake or any other sweet, denotes a focus on a sweet that easily drops crumbs. Cookies often take the form of a more brittle baked good, and that means if it is broken, it drops a lot more pieces and crumbs of itself. When a cookie crumbles, one would not know how it does, just that it does and they lose a piece of the sweet baked good. This is, interestingly, the other side of a snack eaten commonly together, while used the same way. Cookies and milk are often eaten together, and there is a saying that goes “There is no use crying over spilt milk.” The same meaning is derived from both — reality has already occurred, and there is no use dwelling on it.

冻得像个寒号鸟 (Dong De Xiang Ge Han Hao Niao): Frozen Like a Winter-Cry Bird

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. 

In Mandarin Chinese, there are many sayings that are short metaphors and morals derived from origin folktales, often involving animals or foolish people. These sayings are known as 成语 (chengyu). 

TEXT:

A: “So when I was younger, my dad and I had this routine that we would go through every time we went out. And it was always my dad saying ‘Go grab a jacket, it’s gonna be cold.’ And I’d be like, ‘No, I’m fine.’ And then I would go out and I’d be cold. And he would see me being cold. And when he would give me his jacket, he would also be like, ‘冻得像个寒号鸟,’ which, in English, is ‘frozen like this specific species of bird.’ The story behind it is that there’s like, there was this bird called 寒号鸟, and it lived in this tree. And summer ended, and fall approached like all of these birds were flying south right? And they were always like, ‘寒号鸟, you have to come south with us. You’re gonna freeze to death.’ And the bird would always be like, ‘No, it’s too late, I don’t want to go.’ And then more and more birds were flying and leaving, and it just wouldn’t go because it was lazy. And then winter actually came and it couldn’t fly through the snow and then it froze to death. So that’s why my dad was always like, ‘冻得像个寒号鸟.’

Me: “How do you feel about that particular phrase?

A: “I definitely feel some exasperation, almost, because it would be like, ‘Okay, I get it.’ You’re saying I should have listened to you and I should have listened to your advice. And I shouldn’t be lazy. I should go grab a jacket.’

Me: “Do you find that it’s helped your habit at all?”

A: “I mean, I think all kids grow up to become more responsible. And I don’t think he’s said that in a really long time, actually. But it’s something that I remember.”

ANALYSIS:

This story seems to have many different versions, but for the most part, the context is the same. The lessons of some of the other documented versions of this story seem to be focused on discouraging laziness and lack of preparation, and tend to be utilized for situations beyond literally freezing. In A’s instance, however, it is about literally being prepared for the cold. However, to me, it seems to be less about laziness and more about just not acting like you can handle more cold than you can, and her father seems to be comparing her to the bird in terms of the cold rather than saying she’s being lazy. Parents, especially when their children are young, often take pleasure in proving themselves right. For something like wearing a jacket in the cold, this is one of the most common ones, even across cultures. For Chinese Americans, though, it ties in with its own story — beyond a simple “I told you so” into a fixed phrase for a specific occurrence.