Category Archives: Proverbs

Actions speak louder than words – Proverb

Nationality: American
Age: 57
Occupation: Dance Studio Owner
Residence: Downers Grove, IL
Language: English

Text:

Actions speak louder than words

Context:

My informant told me she used to say this a lot when she worked in management. She would tell other employees this proverb so they would have agency with their work and towards their careers. In those instances, she wanted her employees to understand that them saying they will get a task done is not the same as them actually getting the task done. She nows says this proverb to her children as a way to inspire them to take action in their lives.

Analysis:

The metaphor within this proverb is really powerful. Someone can say they are going to do something, but until their actions align with their words, their words hold no power. This is especially true when someone’s actions directly oppose what they’re saying. Although actions do not speak, they signal the person’s intention to others. Many people say things they do not mean or make promises they never follow through. People’s actions and decisions give meaning to the words they say.

Nothing in life is free, cause you’ll pay some other way – Proverb

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: College Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Language: English

Text:

Nothing in life is free, cause you’ll pay some other way

Context:

My informant uses this proverb with her friends and family. She gave the scenario of her friend flirting with a stranger at the bar to get a free drink. My informant said this proverb to her friend after she returned with her free drink.

Analysis:

When my informant gave me this proverb, I recognized the first part (“Nothing in life is free”). However, I was not familiar with the latter half of the proverb. I have heard variations of this proverb, such as “Everything has a cost,” and I have always found it interesting. Even if someone does not have to use their money to get something, they have to pay for the thing with their time and energy instead. In the case of my informant’s friend, although she did not have to use her money to buy herself a drink, she “paid” the other person with her time and energy talking to them. It makes people reflect on what form of payment is more valuable: money or time and energy.

Hang around the barbershop and you’ll end up with a haircut

Nationality: American
Age: 50
Occupation: Home Renovator
Residence: Los Angeles
Language: English

Text:

Hang around the barbershop and you’ll end up with a haircut

Context:

My informant likely learned through American television shows, as the informant moved to America in his teenage years. The informant frequently says this to his children, especially when it comes to warning them about spending too much time with people who are not a good influence. In particular, he uses it to warn his daughters not to spend too much time with guys who would not be a good boyfriend, because he feels that the more time you spend with someone, the harder it will be to not develop feelings or forming a relationship. My informant changes the way he says this phrase occasionally, with the addition or omission of a few words, but the sentiment remains the same. 

Analysis:

The exact origin of this saying is unknown. It is typically used as a form of advice, warning people about the company they keep or the environments they put themselves in. This saying would likely be most appropriate in culture where people are taught to be wary of their surroundings. Barbershops are where men go to get a haircut, therefore going to the barbershop and not getting a haircut is seen as unlikely and illogical. The proverb warns individuals that even if you think you are immune to being influenced or changed by your surroundings, spending more time will increase your chance of such. While the connotation is typically negative or used to scare people, it can possibly be used in a positive manner to encourage persistence at a certain task or goal.

‘You can’t put each foot into 2 separate canoes/boats for long without falling into the water’

Text: ‘You can’t put each foot into 2 separate canoes/boats for long without falling into the water’ (Loosely Translated from Chinese)

Context: The subject’s mother, an immigrant who was born and raised in China through her 20s, used to tell her this, especially when the subject was a young adult carving out her place in the world.

“The point being you must focus on pursuing one path/interest instead of trying to do too many things at once and not doing anything well. (Or dating too many people at once!) That’s why she said it all the time because it was applicable to so many situations.” – SK

Analysis: Based on the subject’s description, this proverb seems to be used as a reminder that one ought to stay focused on what is most important to them. Those who say it are expounding the virtue that the pursuit of excellence requires a singular dedication and that trying to “balance” multiple paths will prevent success. As the subject indicated, it was widely applicable and widely used. This suggests to me that it represents a very prevalent idea about the pursuit of success in Chinese culture.

This saying is like the antithesis to the popular English proverb “don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” which cautions Westerners against the dangers of over-commitment. This saying is very popular in the Western world and reveals a lot about how we aspire to live our lives, especially when it comes to chasing success.Perhaps these differences in common proverbs and their associated virtues indicate a divide around how different cultures view this path to success; Chinese culture prioritizes singular dedication to one’s goals and Western culture prioritizes flexibility in options.

Don’t Bite the Hand That Feeds You

Text: Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You

Context: The subject often heard this proverb when he was being scolded by his mother as a young kid. Whenever he was being disrespectful or ungrateful, she would tell him off using this phrase.

Analysis: This proverb is very old and has been a staple of Western proverbial wisdom for millenia. It is featured in the Bible’s Book of Proverbs, which gives it a terminus ante quem of 1500 years. Despite its age, the proverb has maintained its relevance, teaching countless generations about relationship and power dynamics.  In the modern day, it is often used to calm an inferior party that is acting out of line, just like how the subject described his mother using it. In this case, its use is quite ironic since the mother literally feeds the son. In practice, its use is far more widespread. Whether it is a boss paying your salary or a coach giving you a spot on his team, this proverb reminds many hotheaded (and often young), people that it is never advisable to disrespect those who help provide your livelihood. For, if you bite the hand that feeds you, it is unlikely to return again with your food.