If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Nationality: American
Age: 26
Residence: Chicago Area
Performance Date: March 6, 2022
Primary Language: English
Language: N/A

Proverb: If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Context:

Context of Performance: said over Discord voice chat during a League of Legends game. The informant was recounting a story of a previous game he played where both teams trash talked each other in the public chat. However, once the opposing team began to lose they suddenly became silent.

Further Background:

The informant said that he first heard this proverb in grade school from his uncle. When asked about its meaning, he said: “stop complaining pretty much. If you can’t, like, in a kitchen they always get hot, right? So if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. If you can’t take it don’t complain about the heat. Stop complaining about something you’re trying to do I guess, if you wanna make it sound all technical.”

Personal Thoughts:
I’ve heard this phrase in passing, but usually by middle-aged or older adults. I’ve always associated it with condescending advice giving, I’ve heard this phrase in passing, usually by middle-aged or older adults. I’ve always associated it with condescending advice giving, because I essentially translated it to “suck it up” or “shut up.” Proverbs are typically seen as an old person genre for giving advice, but this particular proverb seems less of advice and more of “shut up and stop complaining”. As a greater reflection of society, this phrase indicates the older generation’s distaste for complaints.

As a side note, I’ve also heard this phrase as “stand the heat”.

Additional Notes:

This saying was coined by Harry S. Truman in 1942.

It is also noted that the saying has also been said as “If you can’t standthe heat, stay out of the kitchen.”

For further information about this proverb, go to
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Wiktionary. (2022, February 2). Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/if_you_can%27t_stand_the_heat,_get_out_of_the_kitchen#:~:text=Attributed%20to%20Harry%20S.,in%20a%20July%201942%20newspaper. 

Martin, G. (n.d.). ‘if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen’ – the meaning and origin of this phrase. Phrasefinder. Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/get-out-of-the-kitchen.html 

For further information about “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it,” go to:
Someone can dish it out but he or she can’t take it. SOMEONE CAN DISH IT OUT BUT HE OR SHE CAN’T TAKE IT | definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary. (n.d.). Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/someone-can-dish-it-out-but-he-or-she-can-t-take-it 

Harvey Mudd Experiments

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Harvey Mudd College
Performance Date: March 22, 2022
Primary Language: English
Language: N/A

Legend Transcript

Note: Commas indicate pauses in speech. Italicized text indicates words said with emphasis.

Informant: OH! um, a while back there was like, a tradition of like just making bombs and diffusing them but keeping the sound, so the bomb squad was just here all the time.

Informant: um yeah OH and then this one time this there’s this statue outside of my dorm that this person gave us and they were like this is very expensive and I made it so it like, can’t rust and the chem majors were like, no way. no shot. and so the chem majors rusted it… on the first day. They concocted some… I don’t even know.

Background:

The informant said he learned about these legends from a seminar called Mudd lore. He also commented that these stories highlight the “evil genius aspect of our Mudd lore” that is a “kinda little fun and cute little STEM moment.”

Context of Performance: In-person conversation

Thoughts:

Legends are grounded in the real world as dubiously true. They can also mark who is in or out of a group. For these tales specifically, knowing about them shows that someone is a student at Harvey Mudd. In addition, these legends seem to hint that Harvey Mudd students have a particular curious and spiteful approach to life, as demonstrated by the legend with the statue that couldn’t rust. I think the telling of these legends encourages new Harvey Mudd students to fulfill the legacy of prior students by continuing evil genius moments.

Why are there no bathtubs at Harvey Mudd?

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Harvey Mudd College
Performance Date: March 23, 2022
Primary Language: English
Language: N/A

Legend Transcript:

Note: Commas indicate a pause in speech. Italicized words indicate words said with emphasis.

Informant: Oh, I mean, Mudd doesn’t have bathtubs anymore because someone made meth in them.

Me: Wait, what? *laughs*

I: Not a joke.

Me: Wait, tell me more.

I: This is a real thing, um, one of our dorms, Atwood dorm, when it got installed had bathtubs in it because it was a newer dorm, right? And everyone was like yo bathtubs! and then um, one day, uh, somebody, and by somebody I mean- I think I think I think it was the FBI, um, came to Atwood and they were like Yo! there’s been a suspiciously high amount of like, drugs going through here. And we were like, that’s strange. um I mean it’s a college campus, so we expect the usual amount of drugs going through here, but an unusual amount…but then they were like no no no no not like that, like drug trafficking. and the school is like what do you mean? and they were like well we suspect that someone at Mudd has been, um, like, creating meth. and they were like, what? and then um, the the I don’t know when it was. But anyway, the FBI like, kinda starts to narrow down who the student is and then they come to the realization that this kid has been cooking meth in the bathtub. and, um, and the story ends and he like jumps out of like a 2 story building and like, attempts to get away and then he is caught and then they took all of our bathtubs out because the meth thing.

Background:

The informant said he learned about these legends from a seminar called Mudd lore. He also commented that these stories highlight the “evil genius aspect of our Mudd lore” that is a “kinda little fun and cute little STEM moment.”

Context of Performance:

In-person conversation

Thoughts:

Legends are grounded in the real world as dubiously true. While this story definitely happened in real life, it has since been elevated to legendary status, to the extent that it is told in a seminar. In addition, this story has definitely changed over time. Was it really the FBI, or was it the local police? This legend likely gains credibility because its effects can be tangibly seen on Harvey Mudd’s campus. Where are the bathtubs?

For this specific legend, I think there is something about STEM schools and breaking the law in very nerdy ways, such as creating meth. I’ve heard stories about a student at MIT who also created meth in their dorm room, and even a Boston University professor who was creating meth at their home.

STEM Majors be like I’m taking a break from mental health for school.

Text: STEM Majors be like I’m taking a break from mental health for school.

Context:

Context of performance: Discord call between myself, informant, and a mutual friend. Mutual friend and I are both STEM majors, and were complaining about how stressed we are. Informant is an art major and cracked the joke during the call.

Informant: It’s like…it’s like a play on, the mental health campaigns right now, y’know? Like people taking a break from like, school and work and stuff for mental health? Like I’m always reading that, that like, people are um taking gap years from school, for like mental health. Y’know that like catchphrase to take a break from school for mental health?

Informant: and just like, none of y’all [our mutual friends who are also all STEM majors] are, like, popping off mentally [translation: doing well mentally].

Personal Thoughts:

This joke was particularly funny in this circumstance for a variety of reasons. First, the person telling the joke was an “outsider looking in” – the informant is an art major mocking the suffering of STEM majors. Second, all three of us in this conversation have the background context to make this joke funny (we are all part of a folk group). This context includes a deep understanding of the rigorous course-load of a STEM major, in addition to knowledge about “our generation” pushing to prioritize mental health over academics.

What makes this joke funny, then, is the irony that STEM students instead prioritize their academic education over their mental health. I would bet that other members of this particular group – STEM students – would also find this joke funny (if not also a bit painful).

Qing Ming Jie (Tomb-Sweeping Festival)

Context:

B is a 17 year old Taiwanese-American high school student who is from Northern California.

This happened online through a zoom call after I reached out to them about sharing any folklore that they may have. For more context, their grandfather had recently passed away and they had gone to visit his grave recently for the holiday described below. 

Text: 

B: The thing is just known as Qing Ming Jie, otherwise known as the Qing Ming Festival. And in English it kinda just means like… tomb sweeping day. And it’s a Chinese tradition, I’m Taiwanese but we hold a lot of the same traditions as China. But basically, during this festival or Qing Ming Jie, you clean your ancestor’s tombs. I think it’s pretty well known but like Asian cultures are very big on familiy and honor and like respecting the dead like especially your ancestors. So this is like a part of that and it’s basically like the most important thing for like, one of the most important things about honoring your an cestors. You clean their tombs and then like make offerings to them, like give them food typically. You can also, we don’t do this here because I’m not in Taiwan right now, but in American we do it in an easier way. But I know you can also, it’s kinda like also a festival, Qi Ming Festival-

Me: Yeah

B: So I know you can also fly like kites. I know flying kites is pretty popular. Americans don’t do that I realize. I thought Americans flew kites but they don’t.. Or at least not commonly. Basically you just eat food and honor the dead. It’s just very… respect.

Me: Do you guys like, because I know when I visited my Grandpa’s grave when I was in China, it wasn’t on Qing Ming Je, because it was just when I was visiting, but we like burnt the offerings? At least some of them.

B: Yeah. So like for us, you can visit the grave anytime, it doesn’t have to be on Qing Ming Jie, but everyone or most people do go on that specific day because it’s special. My mom goes every sunday or so, obviously because its her father so she goes to see him. But all of us went on Qing Ming Jie, to like honor the specific day. And for offerings, we burn the paper that we make. I don’t know if thats specific, I think it might be specifically buddhist.

Me: is it like, I know I burnt like paper money?

B: Yeah, paper money but we also like fold origami paper like.. You know how gold nugget dumpling things? Those are like specifically for the Buddha. I mean not just Buddha but also just money, currency whatever. But it’s a very specific paper that we have to buy that’s like a specific material thats like very thin and like in the middle has fake gold or fake silver. And we fold it into the shape, its really easily to fold, or at least for me because I’ve had to fold so many. But at the grave we just burn all of it so they can use it in the afterlife and stay rich. So we fold like a lot of many so our grandpa can spend to his liking.

Me: I remember burning the money because we bought it at like the graveyard place because they had a stand for it. But I think it’s also like in China they’re probably more likely to have it because more people are doing it.

B: Yeah over here, we don’t have that. On Qing Ming Jie specifically they had like Buddhist stands, they didn’t sell paper but they sell flowers. Which is fair because the place he was buried is not for Asians, it’s majority asians, but its just flowers being sold there. 

Reflection: 

Qing Ming Jie is a holiday that embodies the values of Chinese traditions of respecting your elders and honoring your ancestors who came before you. While the informat is Buddhist and therefore had specific traditions that tie their religion and the holiday together, these rituals that are conducted on Qing Ming Jie are a common practice in order to honor our ancestors who helped us. This also brings up how many Eastern cultures like China and Taiwan are primarily focused on the past because of its impact on the future and the present. While I have never explicitly celebrated Qing Ming Jie, it was interesting to see the connection between my experiences visiting my Grandfather’s grave in China and the informant visiting their grandfather’s grave for this particular holiday in the US. The festival is one that is celebrated in order to show respect for your ancestors by cleaning up the tomb leaving offerings that the person enjoyed in the living for them to enjoy in the afterlife. Paper money and incense are also often burned together in order to reach the heavens for the person to use in the afterlife. 

Meredith, Anne. “What Is Qingming Festival and How Is It Observed?: Tomb Sweeping Day.” CLI, Chinese Language Institute, 1 Apr. 2022, https://studycli.org/chinese-holidays/qingming-festival/.