Tag Archives: Joke

Corpse

Main Piece: Corpse

“Bleeding a dead corpse”

Background Information:

The informant has heard that bleeding the living people was done a long time ago to help cure people of diseases. It never had any scientific backing and does not actually cure anybody of any diseases. So, if bleeding an alive person to cure them of a disease does not work, then surely bleeding a dead corpse will not work either.

Context of the Performance:

This is normally said to somebody who is trying to complete a task that is not possible or that is unnecessary. It is said to them because it implies that they should rethink the task that they are trying to complete.

My Thoughts:

This is a phrase that I want to use in the future because I can think of many situations where I could say this and it would hold true. However, I am unsure about how many people know what the phrase “bleeding a dead corpse” will imply because they are unaware of the historical context that is a prerequisite to understanding the phrase.

God is Bowling

Background: Informant was born and raised in Florida, where there are very frequent thunderstorms, and this was told to me in person.

Informant: My mom would always tell me whenever there was thunder in the sky that God was bowling… and there’s a lot of thunderstorms because I’m from Florida, so she said it a lot.

Me: Do you think she said it to lighten the mood or make you less afraid as a child?


Informant: Oh maybe…I never thought about it that way, but maybe? It definitely made it feel less intense thinking about bowling instead of thunder.

Thoughts: This is something that I’ve heard before and I always found it kind of funny and sweet, but the religious undertone is interesting in it as well. Being a little kid who was afraid of thunderstorms because of the loud unexpected noises, thinking of it as a game of bowling played by god definitely lightens the mood and giving a younger kid a cartoon-like image for the phenomenon of thunder can put a child at ease and even though logically it doesn’t make too much sense.

Norwegians Are Born With Skis On Their Feet

Background: Informant has a Norwegian background from his fathers’s side and was raised being told about these Norwegian traditions and holidays, and this anecdote was told to me over a FaceTime call.

Informant: Norwegians are born with skis on their feet. It’s an old Norwegian expression just because Norwegians are good at skiing and winter sports.

Me: Where did you hear it?

Informant: My great-grandma told me about it. 

Thoughts: This one is pretty self-explanatory, but there’s something funny about how straightforward it is as an expression. It is also a pretty well-known fact that Norwegian people are especially good at winter sports—they’re known in the Olympics as “the ones to beat,” and even now Norway holds the most medals in the winter olympics. 

What comes at the end of a rainbow?

Background: The informant is a 22 year old college student. They have a silly personality and love to tell jokes, and this is one that they have been telling their entire life. 

Informant: Let me tell you a joke. What comes at the end of a rainbow? What you ask? A “W”. Ahahahaha. 

Me: Where did you hear this joke first? Who told you it?

Informant: It is from, um, the internet. I looked up: “great jokes” and I found this one and nobody laughed at this joke so it’s been my life mission to make someone chuckle. 

Me: Who do you usually tell this joke to?

Informant: I tell this joke to all audiences because it’s very friendly. You can tell it to 5-year-olds, you can tell it to 85-year-olds. So I tell it to my grandpa, I tell it to my best friend, my grandma who has passed, unfortunately. So, I tell everyone these jokes because no one laughs and it puts a smile on their face because it makes them feel awkward. 

Reflection: Beyond hearing the joke itself, I think this interaction with the informant shows how jokes are used by people to determine who is in their ingroup. The informant said that when they tell this joke they are trying to make others laugh, and that most don’t find it funny. However, if someone does find this joke funny then the informant feels they can be close to that person. 

A Panda Walks Into a Restaurant…

Main Piece:

CD: So a panda walks into a fancy restaurant. He was decked out. He’s got a nice suit, maybe a fedora. He’s got a violin case in one hand. He sits down at a table, and the waiter comes up to him and says “Sir, what would you like for dinner tonight?” The panda says “I’ll have everything on the menu.” To which the waiter says “Are you sure, sir? I mean, that would cost you an arm and a leg, and no one could possibly eat that much food…” The panda says “I want everything on the menu.” The waiter says “Ok. As you wish.”

The waiter goes back into the kitchen and returns maybe two hours later with every other waiter behind him, carrying plate, after plate, after plate of food. And you can imagine the panda sitting at maybe like an eight person table. He’s got it all to himself. And these waiters come out, and they put every single dish that the restaurant serves on the table in a big circle, and the panda just starts chowing down. He just like goes to town on this food, you know, and he manages to eat ALL of it.

And the waiter comes back—maybe an hour or later after the panda has finished his food. And you know maybe he’s wiping his chin off with a little napkin. Very classy guy. And the waiter says “Wow. I stand corrected. I guess you could eat that much food. But are you ready for the check?” The panda is like “Yeah, sure.” The waiter goes back into the kitchen, comes out with a check. It is $1,422 dollars and 36 cents. The panda says “Yup, I don’t know how I’m gonna handle this.”

He reaches into his violin case, pulls out a machine gun, and he starts shooting up the restaurant! You can image like glasses breaking in half, you know, everybody starts crouching under the tables in fear because this panda is just shooting the entire restaurant up! He fires his entire round, and when he’s done, puts the AK-47 back in the violin case, walks out of the restaurant, without saying another word.

A few minutes later, of course the police show up… Because it was a very violent incident… The head detective says “Aha! Panda.” The waiter says “I didn’t tell you it was a panda! How could you have possibly known that?” To which the detective says “Well here, let me show you.” He goes back out to his car. He comes in with a dictionary, and on the dictionary, he opens it up to the letter P:

Panda. herbivorous bear found mostly in China. Eats chutes and leaves.

Context:

A lengthy joke my tired suitemate tells to me and my roommate. Performed late night in a bedroom within Cale & Irani Apartments at the USC Village. He is a Jazz Studies (Trumpet) major in the Thornton School of Music. He heard this joke from his dad, and his been memorizing it since the sixth grade.

Analysis:

This joke is especially interesting to me because of the way it was performed. Even though he was tired, the informant still makes an effort to color the story with humor. I specifically remember him changing his inflection and emphasizing hilarious details (as evidenced by the italics). With such specific details like the amount of the check, it made me wonder if the nature of the joke was ever-changing. The amount is not the same each time. But it doesn’t matter: the way he says the story is more important than what he says. It’s meant to pull you in and get you invested, so that the shootout comes as a complete surprise. All of the comedic elements combined with the long build up really spotlighted the ending punchline. I remember hearing it and being stunned in silence for a good ten seconds thinking “I just sat through this long ass story just for this” before my roommate and I bursted out laughing at the absurdity of it all.