Tag Archives: southern proverb

“Pride feels no pain”

Age: 49
Language: English

Text: “Pride feels no pain.”

Minor Genre: Proverb

Context:

L explained, “This proverb came down from my great-grandmother on my mother’s side. It was a saying among Southern women, maybe just ladies in general. The context was that you had to put up with pain for beauty; your looks were associated with how proud you were and how you presented yourself.

“Every time my mother brushed my hair when I was little, there were always tangles, and she would say, ‘Be quiet. Pride feels no pain.’”

Analysis:

The proverb “pride feels no pain” has a fairly straightforward meaning regardless of context: it implies that behaving in a manner that fills you with pride is enough to overcome any discomfort you may feel as a result of such actions. It reminds me of the phrase “beauty is pain,” which more directly relates to the idea that discomfort is an inherent part of beauty –– and that pain is a worthy price to pay to feel beautiful. In comparing the two phrases, considering “beauty is pain” as perhaps the more modern counterpart to “pride feels no pain,” it is interesting to consider the implied difference between the words “pride” and “beauty.” The word “pride” carries a more negative connotation for the person it describes, hinting that it is hubris that really disguises pain, while the word “beauty” seems to be used as more of an attribute for a person, and it is the attainment of the attribute that can be a negative experience.

Every Closed Eye Ain’t Sleep Proverb

MS is a 60 year old mother of five who grew up in rural Virginia.

Context: This was performed over dinner, talking about black and southern culture.

Transcript:

MS: My mother said this all the time.

Collector: I think I know what it is.

MS: I’m sure you do. It goes:

“Every closed eye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone”

MS: She used this in two different contexts. The first is when she would be resting her eyes and we thought she was asleep. We’d talk around her and try to be quiet, but when her eyes were still closed, she’d recite that. When she fell ill she’d tell all her folks that. “Every goodbye ain’t gone” meaning she would see us again.

Thoughts/Analysis: This proverb can be used in a religious context also. MS’s mother was very religious and strongly believed that her and her family would reunite after death and that her soul would remain with them until then. Death/afterlife related proverbs vary over different culture but overall convey the same thing.

For variations of this proverb, see:

Nieri, Itabari. “Only in the Americas : Every Good-Bye Ain’t Gone : Family Portraits and Personal Escapades by Itabari Njeri .” Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times, February 25, 1990. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1990-02-25-bk-1997-story.html#:~:text=The%20title%20of%20this%20collection,bye%20ain’t%20gone.%E2%80%9D.

Watch Proverb

Nationality: American
Age: 53
Occupation: Respiratory Therapist
Residence: Chico, CA
Performance Date: April 18, 2020
Primary Language: English

Main Piece:

Here is a transcription of my (CB) interview with my informant (PB).

CB: “So what was the proverb?”

PB: “Well my grandfather used to always say that a man with one watch always knows what time it is, but a man with two watches is never sure”

CB: “What does that mean to you?”

PB: “To me, it means to me that if you have too much information it’s too confusing. Like just stick to what you know. If you have two watches and one says 2 and the other says 2:05 you won’t know which one is true. Well I guess now you do with cell phones, but back then you didn’t. So it was just about picking something and sticking with it rather than second-guessing yourself” 

CB: “What context would he say it in?”

PB: “He would say it in the context of when you were trying to decide something. And he would say, you know, you know too much about everything and why don’t you just pick the one that you want, and that you instinctually trust the most. You know? Even a man with two watches has a favorite one, one that he trusts more than the other watch.”

CB: “Why do you think it’s important? Why do you think he said it?”

PB: “It reminds you to just narrow your focus and to not listen to everything that’s around you, and all the noise around you can be confusing. You just need to make up your mind and go with it. You can’t get too focused on and distracted by the other things in life.”

Background:
My informant’s mother and grandparents grew up in Tennessee, and were known to have some sort of proverb for every situation. Many of them sounded ridiculous and haven’t really continued in the family since their passing, but there are several that even I will catch myself repeating. 

Context:
I interviewed my informant in person. We were in my bedroom on my bed, and the conversation was very comfortable and casual. I had heard the proverb many times beforehand.

Thoughts:

The proverb talks about how conflicting pieces of information will never allow you to be totally certain in the truth. I thought that it was really interesting that my informant interpreted this to be an encouragement to narrow your focus and ignore the noise. I’ve heard the proverb used to describe how a foolish man is completely confident in the information that only one watch provides. I think the fact that proverbs can be interpreted to have opposing morals really shows the irony of them. The meaning is entirely contextual, which is what allows them to be passed throughout so many situations.