Author Archives: Janice Kitchen

Threesome Joke

Nationality: Vietnamese-American
Age: 21
Occupation: Philosophy and Mathematics Student
Residence: Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey
Performance Date: April 4, 2011
Primary Language: Vietnamese
Language: English

“I wanted to have a threesome with two less than ideal ladies and my girlfriend said, ‘Dude, two 5s don’t make a 10.’”

My informant read this on an online joke forum, and has since repeated it to many friends. She tells the joke either when the group is sharing jokes, or when she disagrees about how attractive one of her friends thinks someone else is. She will only tell the joke in front of peers, and only peers whom she thinks are intelligent.

As a student majoring mathematics, my informant believes that the joke is funny because it defies our ideas about basic mathematical concepts. She finds humor in the irony.

While I agree with my informant that the joke is funny because it contradicts a recognized truth, I believe this joke also points to a specific perspective on beauty. Physical attractiveness is generally a qualitative attribute; different people find different characteristics attractive for a wide array of reasons, usually determined by cultural perspectives on beauty. Yet, many students across American, in high schools and Universities, describe members of the opposite sex as physically attractive on a scale from one to ten, with ten being the most attractive. These young adults often decide whom to interact with sexually based on where the other person lies on the attractiveness scale. Students earn more bragging rights the higher their sexual partner is on this scale. This practice, portrayed humorously in this joke, turns beauty into an attribute that can be described quantitatively, instead of qualitatively. I believe the joke is humorous to my informant’s friends because by contradicting basic mathematics it points out the ridiculousness of viewing beauty quantitatively.

“A Broken Clock is Right Twice a Day”

Nationality: Vietnamese-American
Age: 21
Occupation: Philosophy and Mathematics Student
Residence: Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey
Performance Date: April 4, 2011
Primary Language: Vietnamese
Language: English

“A broken clock is right twice a day.”

My informant first heard this proverb in the fall of 2010. She cannot remember who told it to her or the context that she first heard it in, but she liked the phrase enough that it stuck with her. She generally says it in a sarcastic, playful tone when arguing with one of her friends and the friend makes a correct point, but my informant thinks that her friend’s overall argument is flawed. She also uses it when someone who normally gets answers incorrect, answers something correctly. She believes that the proverb means that even unreliable witnesses can be correct, and should be taken seriously despite their bad track record.

My informant’s explanation makes sense, but given the context that I’ve heard her use the phrase in, I’m not sure it’s the best explanation. My informant’s interpretation implies that when she uses it, she is trusting someone’s opinion despite his or her tendency to be incorrect. However, given her cheeky tone and the playful atmosphere in which she says the proverb, it seems like the proverb is used to make fun of the person it references, not imply confidence in them. I believe that the proverb implies that sometimes people are right coincidentally or on accident, and that does not mean that they can be or should be trusted to know what they are talking about. A broken clock tells the right time twice a day, but there’s no way to know if you are looking at it at exactly the right time. Despite its accuracy in those two specific situations, one cannot trust a broken clock. Likewise, one should not trust someone who is consistently wrong, even if they occasionally say something true. This proverb reflects a distrust of accidental truth.

The Tallest Building at The University of Southern California

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Engineering and Mathematics Student
Residence: Arcadia, California
Performance Date: January 8, 2011
Primary Language: English

“Rufus B. Von KleinSmid was one of go ahead keep laughing president of USC for a number of years. His only goal in being president of the University was to have the tallest building on campus and because of that [collector interrupts: “That was his only goal?”] his only goal was to have the tallest building on campus. And so he built VKC, which stands for the Von KleinSmid Center, and the bell tower was erected and for a number of years it was the tallest point on campus. Later on, they built WPH, White Phillips Hall, which stands right next to it, and it wasn’t going to be taller than the bell tower, originally. But. They decided to build up even more, and if you look up at WPH there’s actually an open space up there, that’s about thirty feet of nothing. There is no classrooms, no anything, it’s just to make the building taller than it actually is. Umm, and, Rufus B. Von KleinSmid died. But his wife, Emma Von KleinSmid, uhh wanted to make sure that his legacy lived on. So, she went to a garage sale and bought the globe that now stands on top of VKC for something in the ball park of fifty cents and uh put it on top of the bell tower and so now the bell tower of VKC with the globe included stands four inches taller than WPH.”

My informant first heard this story when he was training to be an Orientation Advisor at the University of Southern California after attending his first year of school there.  The Orientation Coordinator, also a student, told the story to the new group of Orientation Advisors as an example of a fun anecdote to tell when giving a tour of the campus. As my informant said, the walk between the VKC building and the WPH building is long, and “you can only talk about those buildings for so long before you run out of things to talk about and [the informant] needed a fun story to fill the time.” As an Orientation Advisor, he passed the story along to incoming students throughout the summer as he gave tours of the school. He has since become an Orientation Coordinator, and tells the story to the Orientation Advisors that he trains.  He told the story to me during a training session for another on-campus job, in a program devoted to “fun facts” about the University of Southern California.

My informant believes that the legend might reflect an outdated stereotype of the University of Southern California as “The University of Spoiled Children.” He finds the story compelling because it exemplifies a “prankster attitude” based on doing something extravagantly expensive simply because one can. As he points out, there is a strange empty space at the top of the WPH building that, at least from an outsider’s perspective, would have cost the University a large amount of money unnecessarily.  He sees building this extra floor on WPH and Mrs. Von KleinSmid’s alleged addition of the globe on top of the VKC building as a demonstration of the University’s old sense of entitlement: if the building can be made taller, make it taller, no matter the price.

My informant has heard variations of the story that point to a similar interpretation. These versions usually differ from his own in how much the globe cost Mrs. Von KleinSmid, where she found the globe, how much taller the globe makes VKC than WPH, and how the empty space in WPH is used (one memorable version says that there’s an unused ballroom on the top floor). Each of these variations focuses on the absurdity of the idea that one building needs to be the tallest on campus. Performers of this legend seem consciously to make fun of the story and to laugh at the stereotype that it portrays. I agree with my informant in that this legend reflects a stereotype that the University of Southern California has more money than it knows what to do with and is focused on presentation rather than serious scholarship. I would only add that students’ performance of this legend suggests an awareness of the stereotype and a desire to trivialize it.

Grandma Burton’s Rolls

Nationality: Black
Age: 18
Occupation: Political Science Student
Residence: Rancho Cucamonga, California
Performance Date: March 2, 2011
Primary Language: English

“On major holidays when my mom’s family gets together, my grandmother makes the most delicious rolls. We call them Grandma Burton’s rolls, and, girl, when I go to Ohio those rolls are like gold.”

My informant lives in southern California, but her Grandmother Burton lives in a small town in rural Ohio. Her Grandmother has 15 biological children, one adopted child, and had many foster children throughout her life. When Grandma Burton began making the rolls it was out of necessity; she had many mouths to feed and buying ingredients was much cheaper than purchasing already made food. Eventually, her children grew older and as the rolls became a favorite food, Grandma Burton began saving them for special events.

My informant associates the rolls with large family reunions. She does not get to visit her Grandma Burton or her other relatives in Ohio very often, so whenever she does, she prizes the time she spends with her family. She describes her Grandmother as an exceptionally kind woman with a big heart, and when my informant bakes the rolls for her family in California, the rolls remind her of Grandma Burton’s goodness.

My informant learned how to bake the rolls when she ten years old. Her Grandmother was visiting in California, and my informant’s mother decided that they should both learn how to cook the rolls. My informant described the experience as “learning at the master’s feet.” Grandma Burton did not use exact measurements, and wanted to include my informant actively in the baking process. My informant was enthusiastic, but didn’t worry too much about learning the recipe.

A couple of years later, my informant went to visit her Grandmother in Ohio. While there, she asked her Grandmother again to teach her how to make the rolls. This time, my informant learnt with a bunch of her younger cousins. Her family was starting to worry about Grandma Burton’s impending death and since my informant did not want the tradition of the rolls to leave the family with her Grandmother she “meticulously watched” and took extensive notes as Grandma Burton made the rolls. Grandma Burton did not follow a recipe, though. My informant would get mildly frustrated, but also amused, when she would ask her Grandmother how much of an ingredient to use and Grandma Burton would respond, “However much you need!”

After returning to her home in California, my informant tried making the rolls on her own. She called her Grandmother many times during the process, since she felt her notes were inadequate and she was sure she would not be able to live up to Grandma Burton’s standards. Now, my informant makes the rolls for every special occasion, and she no longer relies on her notes. Many other family members now also know how to make the rolls, but my informant’s mother insists that my informant makes the roles when Grandma Burton cannot. According to my informant’s mother, my informant has “the right touch, [she] has Grandma Burton’s hands.” My informant’s uncle, who can also make the rolls, has “big, hard hands” and he always makes “big, hard rolls.”

My informant stated that the rolls are not just for the family; they are also for the larger community. Grandma Burton brought the community into her home. Her husband was a pastor at a church in Ohio, so she would invite members of the church community into her home, especially those who did not have somewhere to go during the holidays. She would serve the rolls to them, along with all of her children and the foster children who temporarily called her house home. My informant, on the other hand, has begun taking the rolls out to the community. Along with bringing the tradition from Ohio to California, my informant brought a piece of the tradition to her friends at the University of Southern California. Before returning to school after the winter vacation, my informant made two boxes of the rolls to share with her friends once the semester started.

My informant believes that her family continues the tradition of baking Grandma Burton’s Rolls partly because they are delicious, but also because they are a continuation of Grandma Burton’s legacy. I agree, since the sharing of the rolls reflects both the importance Grandma Burton apparently saw in family (she had fifteen children after all) and the kind heart my informant attributed to Grandma Burton and that is evidenced by her regularly inviting people, such as foster children and church members, into her home. Additionally, the baker’s personality and the rolls seem connected; the character of my informant’s and her uncle’s hands determines the quality of the rolls they make. My informant has taken the tradition of Grandma Burton’s rolls and made it her own tradition. I believe that by baking the rolls my informant is performing a piece of her family identity as well as her personal identity.

Passing A Knife

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Critical Studies Film Student
Residence: Wantage, New Jersey
Performance Date: April 2, 2011
Primary Language: English
Language: Turkish

“Never accept a knife hand-to-hand.”

My informant and I were eating rolls at a restaurant when my informant realized that he did not have a knife for butter. I picked up my knife and offered it to him. He looked at the knife in my hand, and then told me that he “never accepts a knife hand-to-hand.” He then picked up an unused knife on the other side of the table.

Later, when I asked him why he would not accept my knife, he told me that “people who exchange knives will fight imminently, like within the next hour or day or so,” or, at the least, “there will be bad will between them.” He doesn’t remember ever specifically learning this folk belief, but when he was a little kid he remembers seeing his mother subtly never accepting knives from other people. He tries to be as subtle as she is, saying something like “just place the knife here,” especially with people he respects or does not know well. He often feels cornered into accepting knives, though, so with peers he is comfortable with, he will just tell them the folk belief.

My informant thinks the folk belief reflects a respect for knives, and the violence that they symbolize. A knife, according to my informant, should not be handled lightly, because it is an object with “gravitas,” or immense symbolic power. From an etic perspective, this explanation makes sense; knives are dangerous objects and, even in the innocent context of sharing a meal, can connote ill will or violence. The belief might also reflect a respect for guests, family members, and the people that one eats with. Eating together usually implies a peaceful relationship and situation, so by not passing knives around the table unintentionally insulting or implying violent feeling another diner be avoided.