Author Archives: Zane Grace

“Break a Leg”

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Actor
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 7 April 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

Before going on stage, performers (usually actors) will express support for one another by encouraging their colleagues to “break a leg.”

Background:

Actors are a superstitious and cowardly lot. Among the many backstage traditions and sayings, “break a leg” is one of the most prominent. The actual meaning of the phrase is unsurprisingly contrary to its literal interpretation, and as such it stands in for wishing good luck or good performances to one another. Actors tend to be remarkably egotistical, and much of their craft relies on temporarily leaving their conceptions of “self” behind. It is therefore desirable to avoid feeding an actor’s hunger for attention and praise, and so the phrase “break a leg” serves to bring the actor down to earth and approach the stage with an attitude of humility.

Context:

Actor who is unfamiliar with stage traditions and theatrical mythology: “Good luck, everybody! We’re going to give an amazing performance. Hey, Julie! You’re gonna be great!”

Actor who knows their goddamn place: “Let’s get out there and do our jobs. Julie, break a leg. You know what? Break two.”

My Thoughts:

I’ve heard this a lot before. I think it’s interesting that I’ve never met an actor who doesn’t follow it. It’s incredibly taboo in the theatre to wish someone good luck. It’s cool that among this professional community which defies both class and culture, everyone (in America at least) follows this tradition.

“The Rep Who Sold Nine Homemakers”

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Salesman
Residence: Sacramento, CA
Performance Date: 11 March 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

Ok, so there’s this story about this rep who worked for CUTCO about 10 years ago. Most people agree he worked in the Bay Area, but no one will tell his name, to keep the legend alive I guess. Anyway, he was a solid rep, around $70,000 in career sales, when one day he’s doing this demo for an old white woman in her fifties or whatever, and he goes through the whole presentation, kills it, but she’s a rich bitch, you know how they are, and she says: “You know what, I don’t really need that homemaker set. But it’s been years since my husband divorced me and I get pretty lonely, so let me tell you what. If you… you know… take care of me, I’ll buy that homemaker set.”

The rep figures, hey, it’s a sale, so he fucks her and she buys the fucking set – drops a grand on it right there, just to get laid. Here’s the good part though… she refers him to a friend of hers right, and you know, people who buy sets refer you to other people who buy sets. So he’s stoked for this demo. Anyway, he goes over, does the presentation, kills it, and at the end, this broad says: “Hey, to be honest, I don’t need these knives, but I heard what you did for my friend – and if you do the same thing for me, I’ll buy that homemaker set from you.”

So the rep fucks her, and boom, another sale. Dropped a grand, just like that. He keeps getting referred to friends of friends, and each one happens the same as the last – he sees some old chick, fucks her, and she drops a grand on a homemaker set. He does this nine times for nine women in a row – in a week he’s sold like $9,000 and as an FSM that means $4,500 in his pocket.

Anyway, he goes to see the next woman, number ten, expecting a good fuck and an easy sale. But he gets there, and she’s hideous – so fuckin ugly you wouldn’t believe, fat, disgusting, face like a manatee – anyway, he does the whole presentation hoping she’ll just buy some things and he can get out. But at the end, she says: “Hey, I know what you did for my friends and I want the same thing and then I’ll buy that homemaker from you.”

And this bitch is ugly as shit, so the rep says: “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

The woman says: “If you don’t do this, I’ll call all nine of my friends and tell them to return their homemakers.”

So the rep sits there, right? Ten grand in sales on the line, five grand sitting in his pocket about to disappear. He looks long and hard at her and thinks about all the cool shit he can buy with that five grand. But he just can’t do it. He says: “I’m sorry lady, I just can’t.”

And she called all her fuckin friends and they returned all nine of their homemakers, stealing five grand out this guy’s pocket. Can you fuckin believe that?

 

Background:

I heard this story from my manager Jaymison. He swears he knows who the rep is, but won’t tell me. I think this story’s great, it just goes to show some things are more important than money I guess haha. Pretty much everyone in the company knows it, it’s a pretty popular urban legend. One of the first things you learn when you become an FSM I guess.

Context:

I mean usually I tell this story if someone’s been around for awhile and I feel like they’re becoming part of the crew. Usually it comes up when they’ve been having a bad push contest or something, like saying “hey man, it could be worse,” you know what I mean?

My Thoughts:

In the CUTCO company there’s a culture of oversexualization, which this story reinforces. Most of the people in the company are very young, in their late teens or twenties, so sexual conquests are important to this group. It also reinforces basic sales concepts like how to find a specific closing skill and keep using it in all applicable situations. I think it’s interesting that the blame for losing the sales here is placed on the tenth woman for being ugly rather than the rep for being promiscuous, which speaks again to the youthful nature of our company.

I think it’s interesting that only reps who reach a certain level in career sales (an FSM is someone who’s sold $30k) get to know this story, meaning that it creates in-groups for those who are good at the job. This is especially true since my informant heard this story directly from our manager, since in most companies a manager would never tell this kind of story to someone below them as it would be considered highly inappropriate. It’s also interesting that my informant uses this story to motivate reps during sales contests by showing them there’s always worse situations to be in and motivating them to do more.

“Actions vs. Words”

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Salesman
Residence: Sacramento, CA
Performance Date: 11 March 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.

Background:

This is something I picked up from a bunch of different management prep talks. It gets mentioned almost every event. Depending on who’s talking they have their own favorite version but I like this one the best because it’s short and sweet. It basically just reminds me that I can talk all I want but until I actually do something it doesn’t really mean anything what my intentions are. It’s all just bullshit until I show what I’m made of through my actions.

Context:

I say this to people like when [our friend] Sean talks about his music for fuckin ever about the EP he’s working on and the gigs he wants to book and his social media or whatever, and eventually I just can’t take it anymore and I say it to like jog some fuckin sense into him cuz I can’t take it anymore. He just talks a lot of shit, and I want to remind him “Hey, you haven’t done anything yet, so it doesn’t matter. Plans are great, but you haven’t accomplished anything, and if you don’t like that, then for fuck’s sake, DO SOMETHING about it.”

My Thoughts:

This really speaks to the culture of the CUTCO company that you always want to get the sale now, today, right away. We believe that if you don’t walk out of a house with a sale, you failed and you need to figure out how to do better next time. We hate when people talk about doing something like “oh, I almost got the sale” because at the end of the day, “almost” means nothing in our company.

“Sleepin’ Jesus”

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Concert Photographer
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4 February 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

“Sleepin’ Jesus”

Background:

I heard this from my dad. It’s something he says sometimes when he’s upset at something or other. I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean exactly other than “fuck this.” It’s pretty singular. I asked him once where it came from and he said he didn’t know, it was just something his dad used to say. He never heard it from anyone else in his whole life.

Context:

You just say it whenever you’re pissed off.

My Thoughts:

I kinda like this one. I think it’s just a little flippant, and I like that kind of attitude. Like damn.

“Playing With Hendrix”

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Concert Photographer
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4 February 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

The head of the music industry department at USC played back to back with Hendrix at the Monterey Music Festival cuz this guy worked in music promotion in the 60’s so he was working that festival just hanging out messing with guitars and everything. Hendrix was soundchecking onstage before a show and so was this guy, the head of the department I mean, and they just started jamming together. I know him pretty well but everyone talks about it. He’s super casual about it too so it’s pretty hard to know exactly what happened. Some people say he played during Hendrix’s actual set. Other people say it just happened before the show.

Background:

I think people talk about it because this guy has been in the music industry basically since the 60’s as a pretty big figure in lots of genres of music. He was brought in by the supreme court to determine if the merger Liveation and Ticketmaster was legal, he was part of that committee, so he’s a pretty big deal. I guess it makes sense that people would play him up. It’s a testament to this guy’s experience and knowledge that he played with Hendrix, like it validates him or something. He told it to me himself actually.

Context:

He’s the professor for two important music production classes at USC, so anyone who’s serious about the business will take him at some point if they’re smart. I guess word just gets around eventually. I know I told a bunch of people just because I was excited to know something cool about this guy. Some other people already knew when I told them though, so there’s that.

My Thoughts:

I like this story because it’s the first one I’ve encountered in my collection so far which seems to have a high truth value that the premise of the story – the music industry department head playing with Hendrix – is validated by the person himself. However, the details are fuzzy which allows for variation in how the story is told based off of the teller’s belief in the subject. My informant clearly idolizes this man as a prominent member in her field, and therefore it’s important to believe that this man played with Hendrix as proof that he’s accomplished and worth learning from.