Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

No Beta, We Die Like [Blank]

Text: “No Beta We Die Like [Blank]”

Context: This is a term that is prolific among fanfiction circles, particularly on Archive of Our Own, which uses a content tagging system. EK is a college student in Southern California who has been active in fandom spaces and fanfiction culture for a number of years. She explains the meaning of the phrase is that the fic has not been “beta read” by someone else–it has not been read or edited by another person aside from the author before being posted online. While the original form of the phrase is “No beta we die like men,” often the phrase is customized toward the fandom, with “men” being replaced by the name of a character who dies in the show. EK notes that it’s usually a particularly painful death, often a particularly beloved character who died, whose name is substituted in. She also notes that it’s not always solely a character name–in some instances, it’s “my sanity” or other references to the author’s real life, or other times a reference to a commentary about the show’s writing [ie. “we die like [character’s] characterization] or other aspects of the property.

The origin of this phrase comes from a picture of a bumper sticker that read “no airbags we die like men.”

Analysis: EK views this as a public service announcement on a fanfiction, sort of a disclaimer meant to explain any errors or “bad writing” found within the piece. I also view this as a kind of signifier of in-group status, recognizing that someone is a member of a fandom and was emotionally impacted by a character’s death–enough to bestow their name within the tag, almost as a badge of honor. This is a way to make light of any emotional turmoil brought on by a character’s death and find community in the emotional response to a piece of media, as most fandom is fixated on.

Song lyrics as Fanfiction titles

Text: Song lyrics are often used as fanfiction titles on Archive Of Our Own.

Context: Archive of Our Own (Ao3) is a fanfiction site popular in the modern day. EK is a college student in Southern California who has been active in fandom spaces and fanfiction culture for a number of years. She describes the common practice of using song lyrics to title fanfictions because, as she says, “titles are hard, and songs are cool.” She notes that it is common to see this on “one-shots,” or single-chapter fanfics, but if this is found in a multi-chapter fic, she also describes the practice of using different lines from a song for each chapter title, as it applies to the content and characters. EK also mentions the genre of YouTube videos that compile these lyric titles, editing them together to create a kind of “lyric video” made entirely out of Ao3 screenshots.

Analysis: I view this as another form of texual poaching, as Henry Jenkins identifies in his studies on fan practice in Textual Poachers. This is the nature of “transformative work,” as fanfiction has often been called–here, different forms of copyrighted IP are brought together in a fanwork, used for new, explorative creative purposes. This, combined with the age-old tradition of fan playlists, as well as fanfiction often being populated by young writers who struggle with finding titles for their work, gives way to this fan practice. This also acts a kind of signalling to others within the same in-groups as the author–people who recognize the title are able to recognize that the author likes the same music and stories as they do, therefore creating a trust and connection between audience and author.

Great Grandma’s Chair

Age: 72

Age: 19

Text:

“In our family, we have unassigned assigned seats for dinner. After my mother, Elizabeth, passed away in the house, we would keep that seat at the table empty out of habit. Well, one day, about a year after her death, we had a guest over and so I offered my seat up to the guest. I would sit in my mother’s seat. When I sat down, I felt an immense weight on my shoulders and an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It only left me once I left the chair. I ended up having to sit at a folding chair and the chair remained empty. Since then, I do not let anyone sit in that seat as it’s her chair. Even today when I am eating at the table, out of the corner of her eye it can look like someone is sitting in the seat. I believe it is her.”

Context:

This was told to the informant by his grandmother, about his great-grandmother. It was told on Thanksgiving at family dinner. The story itself took place roughly 10 years ago.

Analysis:

In this story, a grandmother speaks about her late mother to her grandchild to explain why a seat is kept at the dinner table for someone who has died. It is a sign of respect to the dead, as well as slight fear against change. This story sparks the debate of if there is truly a ghost or if grief itself can manifest into a spiritual form. The story functions as a warning against erasing past relatives, as well as a loving tale that past relatives never actually leave the family, even in the afterlife.

Christmas Songs

Age: 19
Occupation: Student

Context: “I grew up in a big Christmas family. We went to church, decorated every part of the house, and sang every Christmas song there was. Singing wasn’t just for caroling; it happened throughout the season. Every year, the same songs, the same excitement. My parents were especially big on the ‘magic’ of it. They were really believed in ‘the magic of Christmas’ and really believed that it brought everyone closer together. I personally don’t know about that but I think it’s nice that even just for a little bit or just one day, everyone gets even closer for the holidays. There’s one song specifically called Must Be Santa, and it was so annoying, but we used to sing it at church every year.”

Analysis: Singing Christmas songs is a ritual that blends both religious and secular traditions. In families like Anne’s, it reinforces seasonal joy, community belonging, and shared memory. A song like Must Be Santa, though often seen as lighthearted or even annoying, takes on symbolic importance through repetition; especially in a church setting where it bridges sacred and playful elements. The act of singing together, becomes an expression of belief, nostalgia, and identity. It binds participants to cultural rhythms and holiday expectations. Even “annoying” songs serve as touchstones of collective memory, especially when tied to family or religious routines.

Protect My Grandchildren Ritual

Age: 20

Text: This practice comes from the person’s grandmother’s side of the family. The ritual blends cultural traditions with personal spirituality and takes a modern tweak of a ritual that was rooted from an official Baha’i ritual.

Context: “Ever since I was a child, whenever we visited my grandmother, she would burn incense. It wasn’t for any special celebration or event; she just did it whenever we came over. She’s Persian and has practiced the Baha’i faith most of her life, but this incense thing wasn’t strictly Baha’i. I see it more of a cultural and familial tradition. She always said it was to protect us from demons, especially the kids. When I first saw this happen, I just never really understood this practice; mostly because when I was a kid, it was just literally smoke. But after growing up, I really started to appreciate the gesture and protection of my grandmother.”

Interpretation: Burning incense as a protective act is a tradition present in many other cultures. In Persian households, this practice often blends Zoroastrian or folk beliefs with newer religions like the Baha’i faith. In this case, it functions as a quiet, domestic ritual of care, centered on shielding children from unseen harms. Though not explicitly religious, it holds a strong spiritual meaning and demonstrates how rituals can coexist alongside formal religion as intergenerational protection.