Tag Archives: death

Death Anniversary Celebration

Background: The informant is a 54 year old man. He was born in Pampanga, Philippines. The informant grew up as Catholic, later converting to evangelical Christianity and becoming a pastor. He was exposed to the tradition by living in the Philippines. 

Context: The context was, when driving past a funeral procession, she was reminded of the tradition she experienced as a child.

Text:

PG: “During the the 10th anniversary, you know, for catholics, for catholics, if you know, you go to, uh, a church and ask for, uh, offer a mass, you know, you go to church to tell the priest that you want, uh, offer, you want to offer a mass for your, for the death anniversary of your loved ones, right? And then after that, we have, uh, like a celebration in the house, like invite people, friends and family, you know, to, like a party. And then after, and then, but before that, you, in the morning, you know, and also part of it is you go to the cemetery and offer flowers for the anniversary, so that’s the thing.”

Analysis:

Informant: The 10th anniversary is a major milestone when dealing with the anniversary of a loved one. It’s a time to commemorate the dead but also celebrate the person who has died. It doesn’t appear to be a sad celebration, but rather one that is enjoying what life has to offer. 

Mine: While death is a tragic topic, the communal gathering after the death of someone, or on their anniversary, in this case, serves to dispel the tragic thoughts and focus on the happier aspects. In the Catholic tradition, the death anniversary appears to be a moment to celebrate how one has lived, rather than mourn that they are gone. Additionally, it serves as a moment in time for everyone to gather together, whether it be extended families, neighbors, or other community members. Death traditions can actually serve to bring together people the most. Flowers are a traditional gift to leave on gravestones, once again counter to the idea of life ending, as flowers typically symbolize life. By giving flowers on the gravestone, it’s as if they are bringing the dead person back to life for the day, so that they are able to celebrate with them.

Shaving Head after Father’s Death

Background provided by MN: MN is an individual who grew up in the Maharashtra state of India, where they learned 4 languages including Sanskrit. They recently moved to America for further education. This is a practice of MN’s specific culture, Hindu Brahman.

Context: As we talked about certain funeral proceedings, MN shared this information about the mourning period. This piece was collected in the early morning at the university as we were conversing about different cultural practices.

Main Piece Transcription of interview (contains the context of particular performance and additional background information): 

MN: “And also …like  if your father dies, the eldest son … who’s a boy … they cut their hair. Not completely … no actually … completely. If the mother dies, it’s the second son. 

Me: “What if you don’t have a second son?”

MN: “ mmmm … if you have a second son.” 

Me: “So let’s say you only have one son.”

MN: “The eldest son can choose to. They have a choice. It’s not compulsory, if you’re religious then you do it. Like … when my grandfather passed away, my uncle did it. It’s all a choice.” 

Analysis: This particular Hindu ritual is very interesting because it seems like a very spiritual and religious tradition. MN emphasizes two important aspects of this tradition: choice and religion. The son is not obligated to complete this ritual but is given a choice to perform it. In addition, the son can choose to perform this ritual based on his religious beliefs. The completion of this particular ritual is dependent on the son. Sons are not forced to complete this tradition, which emphasizes how it changes 

Another interesting aspect of this traditional ritual is the birth order of the performer. The eldest son is often seen as a great authority figure while the second eldest is perceived as a lower authority figure. This is telling of a patriarchal society that places higher importance on male heirs and their duties. The eldest son is seen as an authority figure, which is similar to how fathers are considered to be head of the household. After the father dies, the eldest son can choose to shave his head to commemorate his late father. Correspondingly, the second son can also shave his head to honor the death of his mother. The second son can be considered to be the support for the first son, much like mothers support their husbands. This ritual is only a portion of the funeral rituals that are performed by grieving loved ones, which reflects Indian values of family and tradition.

Bake Your Own Cookie

Background provided by NN : NN was born and raised in Southern California. They were raised in a Chinese-American household and experienced many different forms of folklore. 

Context: NN was approached about folklore, they conveyed it through a telephone call. NN says that her father tells this tale whenever they are lazy. They also revealed that this particular folklore had evolved to be a joke after they learned how to cook and bake. 

Main Piece Transcription of interview (contains the context of particular performance and additional background information):

NN: “ So … like … my dad tells me this story … ALL the time. He usually tells me … when he thinks I am being … lazy, or whatever. The story kinda … always begins … with “There was once a rich man” (accompanied by air quotes) who had … like everything done for him. He never had to … umm … lifted a finger … like AT ALL. Servants … wiped his butt, like … fed him,  they did everything for him. (Pauses for effect) One, day, after he got married his, ummm … wife had to … like … uhh … visit her family for the … the … holiday. She baked her husband  a large cookie, and like put in on … a … string  and put it on around his neck. AND she left to visit her family … for … like a week. When she came back home,  she …  her husband was dead.  Like … he was in the same position … like when she left him … and like the cookie around his neck was not eaten. He was too lazy … to even lift the cookie … to like … eat … so he died. My dad would always say something, like … (deepens voice to imitate their father) “See … work won’t kill you, but being lazy will. Do you want to have someone bake your cookie for you … or what.” 

Analysis: This particular short story is has morbid humor. The laziness of the man is obviously dramatized to highlight the importance of hard work. It seems like the story is told orally and had even evolved into a joke amongst close family members. The moral of the story remains despite the context of the perfomance. It also acts as a representation of Chinese values. The lazy man can also be interpreted as subtle commentary on the partriarchal society. The wife had provided substance for her husband, but his choice led to his own demise. Another interesting layer to this tale is the financial component; the lazy man had never done anything for himself because he had the financial means to outsource all his tasks. This tale could have originated from the working-class as way of encouraging their chidren to embrace work instead of focusing on the scarcity of money.

The Banshee

Informant Information – GD

  • Nationality: American
  • Age: 57
  • Occupation: Teacher
  • Residence: San Pedro, California
  • Date of Performance/Collection: March 20, 2022
  • Primary Language: English

The informant comes from an Irish-American family that spent summers camping in various forests and national parks near their home in California. On these trips, the informant’s older brothers told her the story of The Banshee. This information was shared with me in an in-person interview. 

Interviewer: 

Can you retell the story of The Banshee? 

Informant: 

So when I was a little girl, my older brothers would tell me this story to scare me when we were on family camping trips. The Banshee was a spirit that only appeared to Irish people; their ability to hear her allowed her to warn them when danger or loss was near. 

According to the legend, The Banshee was an ancient female spirit of Ireland that had faced some terrible loss… her family was killed somehow. When she knows that someone is about to lose a family member, she feels their pain and wails. So, if you hear her screams it is a sign that someone in your family is going to die. The further away the screams sound, the sooner the death will take place, and vice versa. I’m not sure where that part came from. 

Informant: 

Do you know where your brothers heard this legend?

Informant: 

I’m not exactly sure, but probably one of our uncles or aunts. My father’s family was a group of very stereotypical Irish farmers– he was one of 12 or 13 kids and the whole family was really superstitious. They were always telling stories like that, but never to me because I was the youngest and they didn’t want to scare me. 

Analysis:

In this legend, hearing The Banshee acts as a sign, foretelling a death in the family. The informant also shared with me that, when she was a baby, her oldest brother suddenly fell gravely ill and died shortly after being diagnosed with meningitis. Although this story had been shared throughout the family for generations, it became especially relevant after this loss. The piece of folklore’s setting, camping in the woods, also adds to its feasibility. Spending the night in a strange place where you cannot see outside of your tent could easily make the screeches of an owl sound like a woman’s screams. Thus, aesthetics, relevance to one’s life, and the legend’s source and setting all play significant roles in its believability. 

Seeing Butterflies

Background: Informant has a lot of family that lives in California and was raised religious, more on his father’s side, his mom not as much, but still spiritual. Informant went to church weekly and did all the required sacraments, also going to school for Christian formation and education. This was told to me in person after a conversation about family members who have passed on.

Informant: Most… well, not most, but a lot my family is… well they’re up there.

*informant points at sky*

And a lot of my family is also buried at the cemetery plot right by Griffith Park. Whenever we go to Griffith Park, my aunt, we’d always call her Ta-Ta, loved these monarch butterflies so much, and whenever we go to Griffith Park, we always see this specific type of monarch butterfly… we always think it’s Ta-Ta.

Me: Aw, that’s sweet. Would you see the butterfly in general? Or was it ever in a specific place?

Informant: We would always see the butterfly on her gravestone and by her plot specifically. It always feels like a sign. 

Thoughts: I think it’s really common for people to associate signs with loved ones who have passed, and butterflies in particular are said to be a sign from deceased ones that they’re still with you and/or watching over you and sending love from the “beyond.” It’s sweet that it has that association for so many, and to me it always begs the question of whether people see butterflies more often when they’re hoping for a sign from a loved one or if there is somehow a correlation between butterflies and graveyards and there are truly more butterflies at graveyards.