Tag Archives: family

Great Grandma’s Chair

Age: 72

Age: 19

Text:

“In our family, we have unassigned assigned seats for dinner. After my mother, Elizabeth, passed away in the house, we would keep that seat at the table empty out of habit. Well, one day, about a year after her death, we had a guest over and so I offered my seat up to the guest. I would sit in my mother’s seat. When I sat down, I felt an immense weight on my shoulders and an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It only left me once I left the chair. I ended up having to sit at a folding chair and the chair remained empty. Since then, I do not let anyone sit in that seat as it’s her chair. Even today when I am eating at the table, out of the corner of her eye it can look like someone is sitting in the seat. I believe it is her.”

Context:

This was told to the informant by his grandmother, about his great-grandmother. It was told on Thanksgiving at family dinner. The story itself took place roughly 10 years ago.

Analysis:

In this story, a grandmother speaks about her late mother to her grandchild to explain why a seat is kept at the dinner table for someone who has died. It is a sign of respect to the dead, as well as slight fear against change. This story sparks the debate of if there is truly a ghost or if grief itself can manifest into a spiritual form. The story functions as a warning against erasing past relatives, as well as a loving tale that past relatives never actually leave the family, even in the afterlife.

Car Crash Victim

Age: 72

Age: 19

Text
“It was 1987, in Secaucus, New Jersey, and I was driving home from work. A woman suddenly appeared in front of my car and I hit her. She was an older woman dressed in black. I called the police, and they took her to the hospital. I later found out through the obituary that she had passed away later on. I don’t believe it was from me hitting her, but her health declined after the accident. This is why I keep a plastic black flower in my car. I had nightmares from hitting her, though I know she knows I did not do it on purpose. Now, whenever I enter the car, even after getting a new one, I say hello to her.”

Context

The informant is the man’s grandson. He used to drive an hour to work each day.

Analysis

The man is giving a warning to the informant to watch the roads when driving. He has to live with the guilt that he contributed to someone’s death. The man now dedicates his rides to the woman he hit as an act of respect. He seemed extremely remorseful to the informant. The plastic flower refers to the woman who wore black. As grim as it seems, it serves as a great reminder to watch the roads because now he is haunted by his past car accident.

The Boy Who Returned

Age: 78

Text: TT told me a family story involving the death of two boys and the belief that the same soul returned decades later through another person.

When TT was younger, she was very close to her teenage cousin P, who treated her like his elder sister. When they used to play together as kids, TT always remembers how P was loving and protective of her. When P was 16 years old, he was diagnosed with a very aggressive type of bone cancer. They had to amputate his leg at the femur where the cancer was, but it spread quickly to the rest of his body and he died on December 18th at 5:30 ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌P.M.

The following year, TT had her first child named S who was a baby boy. A few days after birth, doctors discovered a fracture in S’s left femur. It was broken in the exact location where P’s leg had been amputated. The family found this strange but was too overwhelmed with medical concerns to interpret it at the time.

S recovered from the fracture and was a normal, active infant until he fell suddenly ill around six months old. Despite TT taking him repeatedly to the doctor, his condition worsened, fever, diarrhea, dehydration, and he died in the hospital on December 18th, at 5:30 PM, the exact date and time of P’s death, one year later.

Because of the mirrored injuries and the identical death date and time, TT came to believe that S was P returned to her. The boy who once loved her as a sister in life came back to her as a son, if only briefly, completing some unfinished time he felt he still needed with TT.

Decades later, another figure entered TT’s life: a young man, called R (who was the same age that S would have been at the time), who helped care for her very sick husband during his declining years. R handled every detail of caregiving with deep loyalty, devotion, and emotional steadiness. TT often said that even a biological son might not have shown such unwavering dedication.

Over time, she began to feel that R carried the same soul as S and P. She described his presence as a spiritual continuation of the boy she lost and as someone who had returned yet again, this time in adulthood, to help her husband through illness and to make sure she was not alone.

TT also believed that R’s actions reflected the qualities of Lord Ram, the Hindu figure symbolizing duty, righteousness, and service. She often said R was “like an incarnation of Ram”. He not a literal divine rebirth, but a way of saying that he embodied the compassion, loyalty, and spiritual purpose associated with Ram in Hindu tradition.

Following her husband’s death and R’s eventual departure, TT remarked that it was as if she were losing a son all over again. The sorrow she experienced at that time was similar to the pain of her children leaving home for the first time and even the grief she had carried since losing S many years ago. To TT, R was more than just a caretaker, he was the living continuation of a soul she believed had returned to her twice before. Letting him go was painful, as though she were watching that same soul walk away yet again.

However, their relationship was not affected by this separation. TT and R are still very close. He calls her before making major decisions, visits when he can, and treats her with the same reverence and affection that a son would show his mother.

Context:​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ TT shared this story with me when we were having a private conversation for a folklore assignment. While she was speaking from her apartment in India, I was listening from Los Angeles. 

This is a story that is hardly ever shared and only with very close family. It is brought up when one thinks or talks about fate, reincarnation, and the secret ways in which the people we love might come back to us. 

In a South Asian setting, the interpretation of such occurrences is highly influenced by the concepts of reincarnation, destiny, karmic ties, and spiritual return. For instance, if somebody is said to be “like an incarnation of Lord Ram,” it is a way of acknowledging that person’s admirable traits and not as the actual god reborn, but as a recognition of the person having high moral or spiritual qualities. 

The Narrator’s Perspective: TT does not talk dramatically when she tells this story. She talks softly, but at the same time, with complete belief that it is not a matter of chance that the coincidences are very exact. 

She believes that P came back to her in the form of S, maybe only for a short time and one of the signs of a spiritual unity were the same death dates and both having broken legs. She also believes that after a long time, it is through R, whose love for the family was way beyond the ordinary, that the same spirit comes back to us. 

The traits of R, the goodness, the quietness, the indestructible faith, was that of Lord Ram, thus, to her, the return of this spirit was to give her family security and protection. To her, it is not a scary story but rather a reassuring one. It revolves around the idea that love never dies. 

My Thoughts (Analysis): From a folkloric perspective, this is a classic reincarnation memorate (classic in Hindu/Indian culture), where lived experience is interpreted through cultural beliefs about soul continuity.

The story contains several motifs common in South Asian reincarnation narratives:

Firstly, mirrored injuries as a reincarnation marker (fractured thigh matching an amputated leg). Also, identical death dates and times signaling a cyclical spiritual pattern. Finally, the soul returning through multiple forms across a single lifetime.

What makes the story striking is not only the coincidences, but how the family uses them to create meaning from profound loss. Instead of viewing these tragedies as disconnected events, TT interprets them as part of a spiritual continuity that kept her connected to someone she loved deeply. Personally, I find the story powerful because it shows how families turn grief into meaning, transforming randomness into relationship.

Elf Under the Bed

Age: 50s

Text:

I was alone in our creepy apartment in Buffalo, New York, this apartment always gave me the creeps, it was cold and drafty and dark and spooky. My husband was out working or something, I don’t really remember. Anyways, I was laying alone reading my book, one of The Rift War Saga books and, oh! I was pregnant, forgot to mention that. I always have weird things happen to me when I’m pregnant. When it was time for bed, I got up to check that all the doors were locked and to turn the lights off. I turned around from the lightswitch and, in the dark, there was an elf crouched down by the bed that said “you forgot about me”.

Context:

This story was told to me over Thanksgiving break by my aunt, it’s her story and from her perspective. It takes place in my aunt’s old apartment in Buffalo, New York at the time she was pregnant with my cousin, so around 1999.

Analysis:

My aunt is adamant that she saw something but she is also a very rational person so she chalks it up to “pregnancy brain”. The atmosphere of the creepy apartment combined with the book she was reading and pregnancy delusions makes her think that the setting was prime for imagining weird things. 

The Rift War Saga that she was reading is a fantasy series so I theorize that that is the reason a fantasy character manifested itself in real life. This manifestation might be a ghost of the book or of the story, as the elf does not seem to be a specific character from the book. Pregnancy can be seen as a liminal time in between being childfree and being a parent, especially since my aunt was pregnant with her first kid at the time. Being in this liminal stage, alone, in a creepy apartment, and reading a book that challenges the mind to think beyond reality, creates the perfect atmosphere for otherworldly beings to make an appearance. While my aunt may think it’s “pregnancy brain” I find it interesting that all her weird, spooky stories come from the same apartment, she now lives in Oregon and has no stories from her home there. I think this spooky apartment had a specific type of energy that encouraged the supernatural and the manifestation of the creepy elf. 

This story could serve as a lesson about personal safety, my aunt was alone in an apartment that she didn’t feel safe in and pregnant, a state that many societies would deem vulnerable. The moral of the story being don’t be left alone as a woman, especially a pregnant one; or don’t be the one leaving your pregnant wife alone in your spooky apartment or something might come for her. In this interpretation, the elf would serve as a warning for what could happen, as this elf was non-violent but said “you forgot about me” which could be a warning to always check on your and your loved ones’ safety.

Oji (Kola Nut)

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Object:
Oji (Kola Nut) – “Symbol of Hospitality and Unity”

Context:
The informant, I, remembers her father often asking her to bring the Oji to the table when guests were coming over. This was a tradition in their family, especially for important visits. She says her father would break the Oji and offer pieces to the guests as a sign of welcome and respect. This happened during family gatherings or when visitors from outside their community arrived.

Analysis:
The Oji holds deep cultural significance in Igbo society, representing hospitality, unity, and respect for guests. The act of breaking the Oji is not just about sharing food, but about symbolically breaking down barriers and creating a bond between host and guest. The ceremonial act reinforces the value of community and the importance of acknowledging and honoring those who visit. The passing down of this practice within families highlights the role of tradition in maintaining cultural ties and fostering a sense of belonging. Through this ritual, the Oji serves as a powerful reminder of the communal values and customs that are central to Igbo identity.