Tag Archives: Joke

A Climate Change Scientist and a Climate Change Denier Walk into a Bar…

Nationality: Irish-Italian
Age: 22
Occupation: Film Maker
Residence: Northridge, CA
Performance Date: March 2012
Primary Language: English

“A climate change scientist and a climate change denier walk into a bar.  The scientist takes a seat at the bar and orders a glass of their finest scotch.  The bar tender brings him his scotch and the climate change denier asks, “What’s the percentage?”  The bartender turns to the denier and says,  “90 proof.”  The climate change denier then slams his hand down on the table, throws down his drink and storms out of the bar.  The climate change scientist then turns to the bartender and says: “Damn deniers! Even when you show ‘em the proof, they still don’t believe it!”

 

My informant first heard this joke on NPR (National Public Radio) a few years ago and thinking that it was pretty comical, he decided to share the joke.  Although a fairly recent topic, the joke may have been adapted from previous global warming jokes.  The issue and the term “global warming” has gradually received more media coverage since its first mention and prediction in Wally Broecker’s 1975 paper and when Jim Hansen’s famous stated in 1988 that “global warming is here” (Real Climate).  The debate over global warming is ongoing and is even a debate topic in the 2012 presidential race.  The joke, of course, takes the side of global warming scientists who have presented multiple scientific studies to confirm the presence of global warming, but despite the evidence in favor of the phenomenon, some skeptics continue to deny its existence.  The joke illustrates some critics’ denial and defensive attitudes toward global warming.  Since it is a joke, it depends on lumping all skeptics into a single category of ignorant defiance.  Over decades, a great deal of scientific reports has been published in favor of global warming and yet it is still a sensitive subject.  While the global warming debate has not been fully confirmed, the joke on global warming confirms the fact that folklore is adaptable and integrates social issues and other subject matter that apply to the modern age.

 

“Happy 35th Birthday, Global Warming!” RealClimate: Climate Science from Climate Scientists. WordPress, 28 July 2010. Web. 24 Apr. 2012. <http://www.realclimate.org/index.php/archives/2010/07/happy-35th-birthday-global-warming/>.

Moses, Jesus, and a little old man golfing joke

Nationality: American
Age: 45
Occupation: Accountant
Residence: Connecticut
Performance Date: March 16, 2012
Primary Language: English

The following is a joke my informant told me:

Moses, Jesus, and a little old man are playing golf. They get to a particularly difficult hole which requires them to hit the ball onto a little island in the middle of a lake. Moses goes first and hits his ball into the water. He then puts his staff into the water, parts it, walks over to his ball, and hits it into the hole on the island. “Two!” he says. Next it is Jesus’s turn. He hits his ball into the water. Jesus walks out onto the water, and hits his ball into the hole on the island. “Two!” he says. Finally it is the little old man’s turn. He hits his ball into the water. A fish swims down, eats the ball, swims to the surface, spits it up, an eagle catches it, flies to the island, drops it into the hands of a squirrel, and the squirrel deposits the ball into the hole. “One!” the little old man exclaims. Moses then turns to Jesus and says: “Man, I hate playing with your dad.”

My informant says that he usually tells this joke while golfing, or at church. However, he says that since it is favorite joke, he often tells it in other situations. Since it is not offensive, it usually goes over well with everyone.

I like this joke a lot. It is not one that requires the listener to participate in the joke, and instead relies heavily on the punch line reveal that the little old man is god. I first heard it when I was 13, and I liked it because I could understand it. Still to this day I think that it is a very clever story. I have also found that even though it is a religious joke, it is not offensive. Often religious jokes cause trouble in that they make-fun of the stereotypes associated with a certain religion. This joke, however, is quite harmless, which is why it is easy to tell to any audience.

Jewish Saying About Opinions

Nationality: American
Age: 56
Occupation: Attorney
Residence: Oceanside, New York
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: None

“You put three Jews in a room you get four opinions.”

 

I have heard this phrase, or a variation of the phrase, used many times before. Sometimes the number of Jews in the figurative room varies, and sometimes you can get many more opinions (for example, sometimes it’s two Jews in a room and three opinions; sometimes it’s four Jews in a room and six or seven opinions.)

The joke relies on the stereotype that Jews are very opinionated people and suggests that if you have a certain amount of Jewish people in one room, you will get even more opinions than people that are in the room. I’ve only ever heard this joke told by Jewish people. The telling of this joke seems to be a way for Jews to reclaim a stereotype. There are a lot of less-than-positive stereotypes about Jewish people, some of which Jews spend a lot of time and energy actively refuting. Thus, the telling of this joke seems to be a way for Jews to acknowledge this particular stereotype and make fun of it, as if to say that it is all right to hold this belief because it is somewhat grounded in truth.

A man walks into a bar…

Nationality: Chinese-American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student (Business Administration)
Residence: Atlanta, Georgia
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin Chinese

A man walks into a bar and says “ow”

My informant overheard her roommate telling me a joke that started out with “a neutron walks into a bar…” and chimed in with this “walks into a bar” joke that she’d learned from one of her friends in high school.

This joke relies on the popularity of the “walks into a bar” structure. The joke works by using a familiar setup, but then switching the expected denotation of the word “bar.” From past experience with jokes based on this structure, the audience has been conditioned to expect that the man walks into an establishment which serves alcohol. Only after a moment of confusion does the audience realize that the “bar” in this joke uses a different definition of the word.

Chemistry joke: A neutron walks into a bar…

Nationality: Korean
Age: 19
Occupation: Student (Biochemistry)
Residence: Seoul, South Korea
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: Korean
Language: English

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When it tries to pay, the barman says, “for you, no charge”

My informant first learned this joke during Orientation at USC the summer before her freshman year. She introduced herself as a biochemistry major and another student responded with this joke. The other student told the joke as an attempt to connect with my informant over the only personal information he knew about her. My informant warned me that the joke was silly before telling it to me, but the silliness of the joke was what allowed it to work as an effective icebreaker. The very familiar structure of the joke contributes to its cheesiness. At first, the audience is confused at the absurdity of a neutron walking into a bar. The “no charge” punchline, though, validates the “walks into a bar” setup. The joke plays off two denotations of the word “charge”: an electrical charge and a requested payment. The joke requires only a basic knowledge of chemistry (a neutron has a net electrical charge of zero), so the teller could be confident that my informant, as a declared biochem major, would understand the joke, and that they could then laugh about (or at) it together.