Tag Archives: wedding

Slovakian-American Wedding Dance

Nationality: German/Irish-American
Age: 38
Residence: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: English

I asked my informant about her wedding that I attended, in particular a wedding dance that took place during the reception. My informant’s wedding party initiated the dance, which consisted of all the women gathering on the dance floor, surrounding the bride. Then the groom has to try and get to the bride through all of the women while they wave him away with the dinner napkins. Usually the dance is done to a polka song, which is also traditionally part of the Slovakian celebrations in the Pittsburgh area.

My informant told me that her husband and most of the wedding party was of Slovakian heritage, which is where the dance traditionally hails from. Not everyone at the wedding was Slovakian, but the wedding party easily got the majority of people to participate. I participated, even though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing at the time. The important thing was to have as many women on the dance floor surrounding the bride as possible. This made it harder for the groom to reach the bride and it also just added to the festivities.

The significance of this dance might be the women protecting the bride and her ‘innocence’ from the groom, and the fact that they form a circle around the bride that the groom has to ‘penetrate’ is related to sexual imagery usually involved in traditional wedding activities.

At the end of the dance the groom finally makes it to the center and takes his bride away from the circle.

Singaporean Chinese Wedding

Nationality: Singaporean Chinese
Occupation: Retiree
Residence: Singapore
Performance Date: March 2007
Primary Language: Chinese
Language: English, Cantonese

When the groom and his entourage comes to the brides home to collect the bride, the bridesmaids lock the front door and refuse to allow the groom or his groomsmen entry to pick up the bride until they pay a small sum. Usually, the amount of money paid is an auspicious number, like 88 or 888 or 999. The haggling is usually done between the groomsmen and the bridesmaid, and the bride and groom themselves hardly ever participate in this exchange.

                  This was first introduced to my informant at her cousin’s wedding when she was about eight during the sixties. It is not known to my informant whether all Chinese perform this particular custom or just Chinese in the Singapore/Malayan peninsula.

                  The numbers are ‘lucky’ or auspicious because of what these numbers sound like in Chinese. For example, the number 8 in Chinese sounds like the word for strike it rich, while the number 9, bears phonetic similarities to the word for a long period of time. Therefore , it starts the wedding ceremony off with a good start.

                  Customarily this is to ensure a happy start to the wedding because with the exchange of money, this is the ‘modern’ version of ‘purchasing’ the bride from one family and bringing her into another. Even though this tradition is rarely seen nowadays, as Church weddings and Western culture is pervading more of the lives of younger Chinese.

Tradition – American

Age: 53
Occupation: Housewife
Residence: Laguna Hills, CA
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: English

During a wedding, the bride and the groom typically cut the wedding cake and feed each other the first bites.  Sherri explained that in many American weddings, the bride and groom smear the cake on each other’s faces in the process of feeding one other.

Sherri explained to me that this tradition has been going on for many years, as she and her husband, too, partook in this activity.  She said she first saw it take place at a wedding in the early 1970s she attended.  While at first she thought the couple who did it was in for a long, eventful marriage if they were already having food fights, she came to realize the real reason they did this.

Sherri says that newly married couples do this in order to show that they don’t take anything too seriously, even their own weddings.  It is a way to take everything with “a grain of salt” so to speak.  It also shows that the couple is carefree and always up for a good laugh.  In addition, Sherri explained to me that it is expected at most American weddings nowadays, as those in attendance look forward to the bride with all her make up getting cake rubbed in her face.

After conducted the interview, I found that this tradition occurs at modern, Christian influenced weddings.  I have also discovered that it does not happen at all weddings as some more traditional peoples find this tradition vulgar and offensive to them and to the bride.  At nearly every wedding I have been to, I have noticed that this does in fact occur, and the crowd usually erupts with laughter.  I believe it is a good tradition for people to partake in, as it does in fact show that you have the ability to laugh certain things off and not take anything too seriously.

Tradition – India

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: California
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: English

My informant witnessed this marriage ceremony during his last trip to India. He specifically returned to India to be present for the marriage of his cousin and her husband. He told me the tradition of “saptapadi.” He told me that in India, fire is considered to be very powerful and important. Thus, during weddings, the bride and the groom will often walk around a large fire seven times. In the Hindu culture, this makes the marriage official and complete.

Each time that the bride and the groom walk around the fire, they say a phrase that represents another step towards marriage. The first phrase involves a plea to the gods to bless them with a respectable life filled with enough food for an entire family. In the second walk around the fire, the couple prays and asks for health and strength so that they can have a long life together. The third time they walk around the fire, the gods give them strength through spiritual means. The fourth walk around the fire represents their love for one another. During this walk, they ask that they be happy together forever and always love and respect one another. In the fifth walk around the fire, the couple asks to be blessed with many loving children. In the sixth walk around the fire, the couple asks to go through life together, even if they may go through tragedy and sorrow. In the final walk around the fire, the couple prays for everyone in the world. They pray that everyone lives a life of peace, and that everyone is loyal together and finds pure companionship. After the bride and the groom fulfill this tradition, they say some words together that are like the vows said during Western weddings.

My informant said that it was very interesting to attend a Hindu ceremony. It is the first one that he has been to, and he says that it makes him feel much closer to his culture. It also makes him realize how important marriage and companionship in India is. He said that very few couples get divorced, even if things are very bad. The couple will still live together and try to work things out. I think that marriage is very sacred in India. In Western culture, more and more people get divorced. Oftentimes, one will hear about a couple that divorces after just two months of living together. I believe that going through this tradition of saptapadi makes a couple feel closer and more connected, not just between the couple but also with the families who attend the wedding, because they have all undergone this tradition as well.

Tradition – Hindi

Nationality: Indian
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Mumbai, India
Performance Date: May 2007
Primary Language: English

During a Hindi wedding, there is a tradition that the bride’s side of the family tries to hide the groom’s shoes.  At the end of the wedding, if the groom still has not found his shoes, then the bride’s side will bid a certain amount of money for the groom to buy them back.

Trisha has learned this tradition from India where she was mainly raised.  She says that the girl’s side of the family usually hosts the wedding, meaning that they pay for most of it.  It is commonly the bride’s sisters who hide the shoes and ask for the money from the groom.  Done in a playful manner, the bride’s side of the family gathers together to collectively decide how much the groom should pay for them.  Trisha says that money in Indian culture is considered a blessing to the newlyweds.  It is meant to pass on good omens so that they will have a bright future.  In addition, these acts are very traditional and are crucial to an Indian wedding.

The Indian culture, like every other culture, is guided by many of these traditions that are passed down.  In ceremonies that exhibit a rite of passage, there are commonly many rituals that are done and not questioned.  Because money symbolizes a blessing, it indicates their perception of the influence that money has on a couple’s future.  Money is always an important aspect that guides a culture’s actions, also shown by the bidding of the shoes.  A further interpretation of this tradition is that the groom should have enough money to support his wife.  Thus, if he is able to afford the bid of the shoes, then he will be financially stable for the future to protect the girl.  Although Trisha said that this was originally a Hindi tradition, this act has spread throughout Northern India and has been infused into the wedding festivities.  It is still mainly Hindi and is usually not followed in Southern India.  It is known to be a light-hearted act, which shows that the period of getting married is intended to be a reason to celebrate.  This celebration of the union between two people is a very important time in their lives, and the ceremonies are a way of passing down folklore during this rite of passage.