Author Archives: Alexander Burch

Frat Party Guidelines

Nationality: American
Age: 23
Occupation: Masters Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 5/3/2021
Primary Language: English

AB: “What sort of unusual or special traditions does your frat have?”

RD: “Oh my god, you want the tea. Oh my god I feel embarrassed thinking because they’re just all so dumb. Oh, I have a good one, it’s called—you’re gonna laugh. It’s called “No Crying Bitches on the Stairs”

AB: “So what is this… stairs thing? Is it a chant?”

RD: “It’s a rule. A mantra. We would say it before parties and stuff.”

AB: “Okay, why don’t you tell me how it started”

RD: “Let’s see, I think this is what I was told. There was a girl at one of our house parties, and I think her boyfriend was there and he just broke up with her or something, so she started crying on the stairs. And it was just… chaotic, I guess. It’s like, a small staircase, so people were stuck upstairs and downstairs and like people were all around her trying to cheer her up making it even worse, and somebody even fell off at one point and I think they broke a foot or something. Anyway, I think they got suspended for a while because there were so many people there it was a fire hazard. So ever since then, well, no crying bitches on the stairs!

AB: “Oh I see. So how does it turn up now?”

RD: “Well, we usually like, chant it before we host a party. Somebody asks, “What’s the number one rule!?” and then we shout, “No crying bitches on the stairs!” It really just means nobody on the stairs just hanging out. Like it doesn’t matter if they’re actually crying or a bitch. But it’s basically just the number one rule of party monitoring. So like, whoever is in charge of hosting the party just has to keep an eye on the stairs.

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “What does this rule say about your frat?”

RD: “Well, I think it reflects what’s going in frat culture just kinda in general, you know. Like I feel like frats get criticized a lot now for drinking and drug problems, and I know my frat has been suspended a bunch recently for stuff like that. But anyway, now frats are having to like figure out how they can still keep being frats with a fun party identity, and also be safe and responsible. And I think “No crying bitches on the stairs” is like, one way that’s happening. .”

Personal interpretation:

Chants are a well-known aspect of Greek life, and they’re typically easy to remember and fun to repeat or say. In this case, the chant shows how a newer concern for personal safety has entered into familiar and easily transmissible forms of Greek life-culture.

Sick-but-Safe

Nationality: American
Age: 23
Occupation: Masters Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 5/3/2021
Primary Language: English

Main description:

AB: “So, what other types of unique chants does your frat have?”

RD: “We have so many you have no idea. Let’s see, it’s hard to think of them. Because there’s some I can’t tell you. Oh, I know one. It’s, “Sick but Safe.”

AB: “How did “sick but safe” start?”
RD: “This was one I was there for! We were at a chapter meeting, and like most of the house was there, and we were talking about logistics and stuff for Formal. I think a couple of frats were suspended around that time, or something, because I remember we were paranoid about the university suspending us too down if we were too rowdy. Anyway, somebody asked a question about something, I don’t remember, and this one guy stood up all dramatic and then said really slow, “Make it sick, but safe.” And we all just started laughing. And ever since then we just say it all the time.”

AB: “Awesome. When would you say “sick but safe,” and what does it mean?”

RD: “I mean, we chant it before parties a lot. It’s one the rules we go through before we go to parties a lot of the time. So if we’re all going to something we’ll shout it in the bus. Then it usually means like, have fun, but don’t black out or throw up or something. But it’s also like, something you can really say whenever. It’s started as a chant, but it’s really like seeped into frat slang—frat vernacular. Like, somebody could say, “That presentation was sick-but-safe!” Well, I don’t think anybody ever said that, but you get what I mean.”

AB: “So in that case, what would sick-but-safe mean?”

RD: “Umm, I guess that your presentation was good but it was also fun to watch. Like, you said what you needed to, but you also were funny.”

AB: “So, if you said sick-but-safe to anyone on campus, would they know what it meant.”

RD: “No, it’s definitely kept within our frat. It’s not like a secret, I would say, but it’s—it’s that we don’t really share chants and stuff with other frats.”

AB: “Do you know if other frats have chants with similar meanings?”

RD: “Um, I’m sure they do. But I don’t know them.”

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “So, what does sick-but-safe mean in general, and why does your frat say it?”

RD: “I think it says a lot about our mindset. Like I was saying, frat culture gets a lot more criticism now than it used so I think they’re all having to kind of adapt to stay frats. So sick-but-safe caught on I think because it sort of captures that, and it’s an easy way to say it.”

Personal interpretation:

The informant emphasizes that fraternity culture at his school (a small, liberal arts college in the South) balances irreverence with responsibility. “Sick-but-safe” helps to articulate this balance. Curiously, it is unique to the informant’s fraternity (other campus fraternities would not say it nor understand what it means,) so it may be that other frats may have sayings/words with similar meanings.

Pledge Secrets

Nationality: American
Age: 23
Occupation: Masters Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 5/4/2021
Primary Language: English

Main Description:

AB: “What other frat traditions can you tell me about?”

RD: “Ugh, it’s hard… there’s like, so many things I could talk about but I can’t tell you. Oh my god, I think I know one… Maybe I’ll tell you, but let me think about it for a second… Oh I know what to tell you, this is safe.”

“So, on the first night of pledging, it’s a really long night, and most of it’s just learning the fundamentals, like chants, and stuff. That’s the part I can’t tell you about, and there’s so much there. That’s like, the stuff that’s written down in the official Chi Delt* handbook. But what I’m about to tell you about is something that just our frat does. Anyway, like I was saying, after the pledges do all the chants and other things I can’t tell you about we do something called “shut-in.”* Everybody in the frat has to be there, and we all share really personal stories. It’s really late at that point, usually like four A.M., so were all tired as hell and like, just already really drained. You don’t have to tell a story, but like, you have to. I was never ready, so I don’t remember telling any good stories, but guys will talk about really dark and really personal stuff. They’ll talk about like drug addiction and abusive family members… God, people have shared some tragic things. Sometimes people share funny ones to lighten up the mood though. Anyways, it’s a pretty big deal. People will save bad things that happened to them just to share them at shut-in. Part of the shut-in thing is also being supportive. You cheer people on when they get upset or start crying.”

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “So, why is this tradition so important to your frat, and to you?”

RD: “I mean, I think it’s the first time you get depth out of some people. Guys don’t usually talk about super heavy stuff, so a lot of people seem just like, kinda empty until they open up. It’s a moment of connection, which is pretty much why I joined a frat in the first place. I’ve always been anxious around straight men and not super close with them, so this was really, like, probably the first time in my life I ever felt a deep connection with a straight guy.”

Personal interpretation:

The informant emphasizes the importance of connecting with fraternity brothers in this tradition. As he notes, American men are typically not open about personal difficulties, so moments like this are crucial to establishing the bonds of trust needed between fraternity members. The name, “shut-in,” suggests the security of the stories shared that night, alluding to the importance of trust.

Notes:

*names invented to respect informant’s wishes

Fingers have Eyes

Nationality: American
Age: 72
Occupation: Retired Surgeon
Residence: Palo Alto, California
Performance Date: 4/25/2021
Primary Language: English

Main description:

AB: “What proverbs did you learn from your time working at different hospitals with different surgeons and doctors? I’m sure sayings like “Measure twice, cut once” crop up in surgery and in med school.”

JB: “Hm, yes, definitely. There’s all kinds of proverbs, but they’re just… so hard to remember. Oh, I’ve got one that I’ve repeated a few times myself. I must have been, oh, probably a fourth year resident a private hospital in England. I had a, um, abdomen dissection case with this surgeon. We, uh, we called him the King, because this kinda dissection is very very difficult. You’re operating in an area that you can’t see very well, and that has lots of very little, very fragile blood vessels. One wrong move there and you’re getting sued for malpractice. Anyways, he does this dissection without a hitch, and I was just amazed. I asked, how, how do that so well? He looks at me and he says, “Fingers have eyes.”

AB: “Fingers have eyes. What would say that means?”

JB: “Oh, I don’t know. Something like, just because you can’t see doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Fingers are pretty sensitive body parts, so if you know your anatomy well enough, you should know where you are and what you’re doing without being able to see it .”

AB: “And this is a saying you’ve repeated before?”

JB: “Oh, yes, many times. Residents are always very intimidated by these types of procedures, which is understandable of course. I always repeat this to my senior residents when they start struggling with abdomen dissections and other tricky ones.”

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “Why have you kept and repeated this saying you heard from your mentor?”

JB: “Well, this guy was a really great surgeon. No one I trusted more than him for advice at that time. It’s a simple, elegant way of encouraging residents to trust themselves. But also be careful.”

Personal interpretation:

This proverb has primarily instructional purposes, applying to a difficult surgical technique. The proverb seems to spread at least in part because it reflects the informant’s respect for the man he heard it from.

Iranian Gin Rummy

Nationality: American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Palo Alto, CA
Performance Date: 4/1/2021
Primary Language: English

Main description:

AB: “Are there any other Iranian card games you can tell me about that are special to you?”

DB: “I don’t know. Um. I guess there’s one called Ramee, it’s like the Iranian version of gin rummy. Play it a lot at family reunions with the extended family.”

AB: “How is it different from gin rummy?”

DB: “Uh, let’s see. I guess the first difference is the dealing. You deal the cards out three at time three times to each person, so that’s nine cards. Then you deal out a pair of everybody, bringing it up to eleven. Oh yeah, and then you give two extra cards to the person that starts. Then the next thing is that you don’t keep your cards in your hand. But you can’t put any of them down until you can put down a combo that adds up to thirty. So if you had like, three nines, and you hadn’t come down yet, then you can’t play them, because that’s less than thirty. But if you also had, like, an ace-two-three of the same suit, you could play with your nines, because that’s more than thirty. Then you can just play cards normally for the rest of game. Oh, and then you can add your cards to other people’s stuff. So if somebody played three fours and your have the last one, you can add it to theirs. Oh, and the final crazy part are the jokers. You play with jokers, which are wild, and they can be any number you want, so you could play like two-joker-four and that’s cool. But, let’s say someone else has the three that matches your straight’s, it’s um, suit, they can swap in their three for your joker and then use it however they want. Well, not totally, they have to play it that turn with cards from their hand. So you also can’t add a joker you take to something that somebody else has already played.”

AB: “Awesome. So, you said you normally play this game at family reunions, right? Can you tell me about that.”

DB: “Yeah, so we usually play whenever there’s a lot of us together, for a birthday or a holiday or something. Oh and there’s lots of betting. At the end of the game, you have to give the winner money corresponding to how many points are left in your hand. So if you haven’t come down yet, you’re screwed, lol. One time I was really lucky at Christmas and made like fifty bucks off of our relatives. Now they don’t wanna play with me anymore.”

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “What can you tell me about why this game means to your family?”

DB: “Um, I guess I’ve always thought of it as like. The grown-up game. The kids always play pasur because it’s easy as long as you can do basic math, but only the adults play rami. That game takes strategy. I was in high school when they taught me how to play and I started betting with them, and I just remember feeling so cool sitting at the adult table and winning some money in Rami while my cousins watched me. They were so butt-hurt, lmao.”

Personal interpretation

Most societies distinguish between children’s culture and adult’s culture, and rami seems to be one such distinction. The informant notes that it’s not only that children are prohibited from playing rami because of gambling, but rami is inaccessible to young children in the first place because it requires substantial strategizing to win. In this way, playing rami may be an important mark of adulthood.