Author Archives: Bryce Condon

The Hermit Crab Story

Nationality: USA
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/16/14
Primary Language: English

The informant is a freshman at USC and grew up in Southern California.  He said he had a few stories that his dad used to share with him that he would do his best to remember.

There once was a grumpy old hermit crab who used to collect everything he possibly could get his hands on.  He was so greedy that he would go onto the beach sometimes to try and get the best human trash.  One day he saw something he really liked on the shore so he scurried up the beach, but before he could get his prize, a dog scooped him up in his teeth.  The hermit crab squirmed about but couldn’t break free of the dogs grasp.  When the hermit was about to give up and accept defeat, a boy came out of nowhere and demanded the dog to drop the crab.  As the crab went back into the ocean, he wished he could thank the boy but all he had was trash.  The next day, while wandering the ocean floor, the crab discovered a chest of buried treasure.  He knew at once that he must have all the gold coins inside for his cave, but he couldn’t carry the chest back because it was far too heavy.  For the next few weeks, the crab brought the gold coins back to his cave, two at a time but quickly ran out of space in his cave.  He decided that he had to start getting rid of some trash in his cave in order to make space for the gold.  Finally, after transporting all the gold to his cave he was left with no trash.  At first he was happy with all the gold but after a while he realized that he really wasn’t any happier than he was before.  So he came up with a plan to thank the boy who had saved his life.  He had a pelican hold gold coins in its beak and fly them to the boy’s house, where he dropped them down the chimney.  The crab was very pleased with himself and learned that sharing can make you happy.

An Irishman Walks Into a Bar

Nationality: USA
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/24/14
Primary Language: English

This informant grew up in San Diego, CA.  He is a freshman business student at USC.  I asked him to tell me his best folk joke he had and this is the first one he thought of.

One day an Irishman walks into a bar and orders two pints of Guinness.  The bartender denies the man, explaining that he only serves one drink per person at a time. 

The Irishman replies, “The second drink isn’t for me, it’s for my brother.  See, we both grew up on our family farm in Ireland and every day we used to hit the local pub after work and get a pint together.  One day my father passed away and left us the farm, but eventually the farm could no longer support the both of us.  Being the younger son, I decided to move to America to try my hand at fame and riches.  But before I left we both promised each other to always continue drinking two pints at the local pub after work.” 

The bartender sympathizes with the Irishman’s story and pours him his two Guinness’s.  This goes on for a few weeks, until one day the Irishman comes in and only orders one drink. 

The barman says, “I don’t mean to intrude, but is your brother alright?” 

To which the Irishman replied, “O ya, he’s fine.  I just quit drinking.”

This joke is a variation of the ever popular “…walked into a bar” jokes.  It plays on the stereotype that Irish people love to drink.

No More Hiccups

Nationality: USA
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/16/14
Primary Language: English

This informant is a sophomore student at USC.  I explained all the different types of folklore there were and he decided to share his his recipe for getting rid of the hiccups that his mother swore by.

First you eat a lot of grapes, like 6-8 until your mouth is pretty full.  Then chew them up and swallow them quickly followed by a big glass of water.  After the water goes down, hold your breath for as long as possible and only let out small amounts of air at a time.  Finally when you absolutely have to, take a deep breath and your hiccups will be gone!

I really didn’t even know what to make of this hiccups remedy, the grapes seem to be completely out of left field.  However, I have heard before that holding your breath can help.

The Magical Wolf Island Riddle

Nationality: Mexican
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/12/14
Primary Language: English

This informant is a senior at USC in the Marshall School of Business.  He told me he had a riddle for me that he was asked in an interview for consulting, but then later said it could have been an investment banking interview as well he didn’t remember.

Out in the middle of the ocean there exists a magical island with only grass.  There are 120 wolves and 1 sheep on the island.  The wolves can live off the grass but they would rather eat sheep.  Every time a sheep is eaten that wolf turns into a sheep.  Now the wolf has to worry about being eaten by another wolf.  All the wolves are rational and smart and want to survive.  Given that there are 120 wolves and 1 sheep on the island, will the sheep be eaten?

The answer is: No the sheep will not be eaten.  This can be shown much simpler with smaller numbers.  If there is 1 wolf and 1 sheep the sheep will be eaten.  If there is 2 wolves and 1 sheep the sheep won’t be eaten, because each one knows the other will eat him right after.  So with this reasoning, whenever there is an even number of wolves on the island, the sheep won’t get eaten.

I definitely didn’t know the answer off the top of my head, but once I heard the answer it seemed like a pretty simple concept.  This shows how much people working in high finance value critical thinking and problem solving skills.

 

 

Fruitcake on Christmas

Nationality: USA/Australian
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/24/14
Primary Language: English

This informant is a student at USC.  His dad’s side of the family is Australian, originally colonists from England.  I asked him if his family did anything uniquely Australian.  At first he said his dad didn’t bring many Aussie traditions or practices over to the US other than his accent, but then he was able to tell me about a Christmas-time tradition that his grandparents had held for generations.

Every single Christmas my Aussie grandma makes fruitcake.  The shit is really gross and I don’t know why anyone eats it so after I tried it I had to ask why she makes it every year.  First she laughed and said she really does like it, but then she told me what she knew about its historical significance.  Apparently when England was colonizing Australia they used to send these fruit cakes over with people on the ships because they lasted longer than regular cakes. But those were plum cakes, which were boiled and the fruitcakes that my grandma makes are baked so it’s not really the same.  I’m not really sure how they got associated with Christmas but that’s how they got to Australia.  My grandma literally makes her fruitcake like a month before Christmas because the fruit has to marinate or something.  I have only been Christmas there twice, but I still can’t believe my dad and all the other Aussies there actually eat it.

So it looks like these cakes originated as travel treats for the colonists and maybe stuck around after that to remind the colonists of home and the long hardship they endured to make it to Australia.  In modern day fruitcake is probably just taken for granted and generally enjoyed by the masses during the holidays.