Author Archives: Aidan

Just a head – Storytelling Joke

Main Piece:

TB told this fictional story that her dad used to tell at parties.

“There was this young couple that was deeply in love and they got married, and they bought a home together and they were so excited to start their family… and they gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, um, but the only thing was, was that he was just a head. He had no body, no arms, legs- whatever, he was literally just a head. And they- when he was born they were like, ‘We’re so excited to have a child, we still love him but like, he’s just gonna have such a hard life, like… I don’t know if we are prepared. He’s gonna be bullied, he’s just gonna have such a hard time.’

And surprisingly, as soon as he went to school, he did super well. He made a ton of friends, he was like the most popular guy in school. He was super talented, he’s smart, he makes good grades, he has a ton of girlfriends. He’s an athlete, somehow, perhaps playing the ball. And so then one day, these doctors that have been following this kid his whole life, because he’s like a phenomenon- an anomaly…

They’re checking on him and they said, ‘We think we finally found your son a body. And he can just live and exist as a normal human boy with arms and legs.’ And so the parents like sob, they’re like, ‘We never knew this would be possible, like, this is a dream.’ He’s turning eighteen years old, he can start his life as an adult with a body.

The parents are so excited to tell him, and so on his eighteenth birthday, he’s in his room on his bed, just sitting on his pillow. They come into his room and are like, ‘Son. Happy Birthday. We want you to know we have a really exciting surprise for you, and we have a really good gift for you’ and they’re like crying, repeating, ‘we just have something great.’

And he looks up at them. And he says, ‘not another fucking hat.'”

Background:

The informant had heard this joke told by her dad to her and has heard it with many different middle sections but always with the same setup. There are parents with a boy who is born as just a head, they learn of the body, and then the punchline is him being frustrated with all the other gifts he’s gotten given his unique condition. Her dad would then fill the in between with story, as long as possible, so that when it hits the reversal at the end, it comes even more out of nowhere.

Context:

This story joke was told by Gilbert Godfrey, someone who TB’s dad would watch often and took that joke and made it his own.

Thoughts:

Hearing of the different iterations that this story joke has gone through before it got to me was almost part of the humor. I knew going into it that she was going to be vamping to lead up to some sort of punchline, but in spite of that was still caught off guard by the finish. The story touches on a universal struggle of parents forcing a certain gift on to you based on how they perceive your interests, but taken to a physical extreme. The structure of it also seems to borrow from folk tales that establish a twisted status quo, subvert it with a “but one day” moment that introduces a new opportunity/challenge, and then spins that structure on its head by hitting you with an abrupt stop to the story instead of reaching the stereotypical fairytale ending.

Elementary School Vampire Joke

Main Performance:

The informant, TB, recounted a joke she picked up in elementary school.

TB: “What do you call a vampire in the winter?”

Me: “Hungry?”

TB: “Frostbite.”

Background:

She had heard this joke back in elementary school and latched onto the use of the punchline, so she decided to dedicate it to memory for whenever she needed a joke. It’s the sort of back pocket comedy that kids used to exchange and it stuck.

Thoughts:

These sort of jokes are a bookmark on a period of time in life when everyone is still forming a sense of humor, so the jokes that were told often had a repeated/memorized feeling like this one. I’ve heard it before as well, also from someone at school, and was reminded of that innocent test of knowledge that would take place during recess. The joke being more self indulgent for the teller, as their laugh comes from getting to tell the recipient the answer.

Delicate Riddle

Main Performance:

The informant, TB, was recounting a riddle she heard that made her laugh. I will be listed as AK.

TB: “What’s something so delicate that even saying it breaks it?”

AK: “What?”

TB: “You have to guess.”

AK: “Okay… trust?”

TB: “No.”

AK: “Wait- a secret!”

TB: “Hmm, close actually.”

AK: “I can’t think of anything else.”

TB: “Silence.”

Background:

The informant had heard the riddle in an online video where two people were playing a drinking game of trying to get the other person to drink by presenting a riddle their opponent couldn’t crack.

Context:

Notably, two of TB’s friends were around who had also seen the video, and when I said that I hadn’t, she wanted to test out one of the riddles on me. The others were laughing throughout as I struggled through multiple silences between responses, each time not hearing the answer that was in plain sight.

Thoughts:

The riddle has a witty twist of humor that almost makes the person subjected to the answer feel a bit stupid and silly for not knowing it. While being the most obvious response, it makes there a clear insider to the riddle and if you aren’t, the humor is a little bit at your expense. And this is something applicable to most riddles, but for this one it is a large point of contention.

Wigilia Oplatek Ceremony – Unleavened Wafer Bread

Main Performance:

At Wigilia (Christmas Eve), JK the informant participates in a toasting ceremony with the entire family. Everyone gathers around in a big circle and collects shots of Goldwasser in ornate metal glasses for a toast. The eldest of the family (traditionally the eldest male, but modernized to just be the eldest), begins the ceremony with a toast recounting the successes, hardships, and points of growth for the family in the past year. During this time they usually harken back to previous Wigilia’s and tend to insert anecdotal humor to entertain the circle. This toast ends with the setting of intention for next year, a wish of a “Merry Christmas” to everyone and a request for everyone to enjoy the feast that is to come.

At this time, anyone else who wishes to speak up and toast as well then dives in as people drink the Goldwasser (or Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider if they are younger than eighteen). Once all the toasts have finished and the drinks have been drunk, one of the kids goes around and passes out oplatek to everyone.

Oplatek are rectangular, wafer-like unleavened bread that have been blessed by a priest. They often depict the Virgin Marry on them as well, being very connected to “the daily bread” in Catholic church. Once everyone has an oplatek, they go around to every person and perform a “breaking of the oplatek.” This is done by each person tearing off a little piece of the other person’s oplatek and then eating it. Afterwards, they wish each other a “Merry Christmas” and usually exchange words of gratitude and appreciation for the other person. In these little breakings, more stories are often told between one another, usually recounting memories those family members have shared in.

After everyone has had a piece of everyone else’s oplatek, and they themselves have shared a piece with everyone else, the ceremony is complete. From here, the entire family then moves to the dinner table to sit down for the Wigilia feast.

According to JK, his late grandmother told him that in the countryside where she was from, they had special pink oplatek for the dogs and the livestock. This was given to them as a symbolic honoring of everyone’s contributions; even the animals out in the stable.

Background:

JK was the eldest male from the Polish side of our family for a while after his father past away, and was in charge of leading several Wigilia’s and doing the initial toast. As the holiday continued to be universally celebrated by the entire extended family however, it switched to the eldest male of the whole extended family, and then to just the eldest. Thus, the informant has been both a passive and active bearer of this tradition, making the transition from passive to active as he grew older.

Context:

The ritual of breaking oplatek is an extension of the practices at the Catholic church and used to be a lead up to a later midnight mass that would be attended by the whole family after the feast. This version of oplatek thus been what some may call a more relaxed version and less religiously inclined as the informant’s family has altered it over the years; putting more emphasis on the message rather than the metaphor.

Thoughts:

To me, this practice is a culmination of recognizing the ways that everyone in a community is connected. Since everyone is taking and sharing from everyone, it is a reminder that through sharing and selflessness, everyone can have a more complete and connected whole. Oplatek is a vehicle for the ritual to bring everyone to the realization of each family/community member’s importance to both themself and the greater “village.” It’s a reminder to the family that they always have each other and to be grateful for the bonds you have to those loved ones.

Reference:

There is another collection that was done on the ceremony of oplatek that is in the archive that is linked below:

http://uscfolklorearc.wpenginepowered.com/polish-yuletide-the-sharing-of-bread-and-the-self/

Wigilia – a Polish Christmas Eve (Polish-American Christmas)

Main Performance:

The informant, JK, and their full extended family (as many as can come, usually ~40) gather for a big feast and a host of different rituals for Christmas Eve. An extra place setting with food is traditionally set for “the unexpected guest” to celebrate hospitality and community, but this practice is not present at their Wigilia anymore. Instead, to avoid food waste, the family invites friends and boyfriends/girlfriends over to join for the big dinner and night of celebration, serving a similar symbolic purpose. At this feast, you are also not supposed to eat any meat and stick strictly to fish and vegetables.

Background:

The informant, JK, is my dad and also one of the figure heads behind putting together this gathering every year. He too has been attending Wigilia every year of his life and is part of a long line of family who keeps this gathering going. In our conversation, he noted other rituals that I was unfamiliar with that he grew up with for Wigilia. One of these practices being attending a midnight mass at the Catholic church.

Context:

Our conversation took place over the phone, where he recounted the history of the holiday and explained the different practices within the ritual time. As this post is the broad-stroke of the tradition, I will dive into the minutia in separate entries.

Thoughts:

The general practice of Wigilia is far more religious in explanation than I had ever known it to be, as it has become much more focussed on the simple act of gathering for food and a toasting ceremony. But the Catholic roots are very present in the metaphorical significance of community, sacrifice, and family. There is also a great emphasis on the passing over into the New Year, that despite not being directly correlated to New Year’s, the time spent at Wigilia is stressed as setting a precedent for the coming year (i.e. if the community fights during this time, it will be difficult times ahead).

Reference:

There is another piece on Polish Yuletide that is in the Folklore Archive that I have linked below:

http://uscfolklorearc.wpenginepowered.com/polish-christmas-eve/