Author Archives: Scarlett Reade

Rings predicts the gender of a baby

Nationality: American
Age: 51
Occupation: Admissions at a private school
Residence: Durham, NC
Performance Date: 4/29/21
Primary Language: English

Background: The informant has a daughter.

LR: There is some belief that if you put a ring on a piece of string and you hold it over a pregnant woman’s belly, it spins or swings, and if it swings it’s a girl and if it spins it’s a boy. We did it because our baby wasn’t cooperative in the ultrasound.

Me: Where did you do this?

LR: Just in our apartment or wherever we were living.

Me: Just for fun? Like it wasn’t for a baby shower or anything?

LR: Yeah, it was just kind of like oh I wonder if we could actually, like, find out because we really wanted to know and so I think we tried it and I don’t remember if it worked or not.

Me: Do you know if many people do this?

LR: Back when I was pregnant, you only got one ultrasound, I feel like now people have multiple ultrasounds so it’s probably a little bit less likely to happen now, but back when I was having a baby, it was as frequent so a lot of people actually used to do it. This is actually a tradition people would try, to see, especially if they couldn’t have an ultrasound to see what the baby’s sex was, a lot of people tried to do this.

Me: And you said it’s a ring, is it any specific ring?

LR: I feel like it’s usually your wedding band, and I think it’s the mother’s band. We tried it because we’d heard about it.

Context of performance: This was told to me over a Zoom call.

Thoughts: I think this is a really interesting belief given that it is a fully 50/50 chance that has no bearing or knowledge on the sex of the baby. It’s also notable that it is so tied to the development of technology and that it was very common before pregnant women started getting more ultrasounds. I wonder if the use of the wedding band has any sort of significance of a promise to the baby since it represents devotion and eternity in a marriage.

You shouldn’t walk across a grave

Nationality: American
Age: 59
Occupation: Creative writing teacher and head librarian at a high school
Residence: Durham, NC
Performance Date: 4/29/21
Primary Language: English

Background: The informant was a boy scout and eventually became an Eagle scout. He remembers a game he used to play with his fellow scouts that involved a superstition about graves and respect for the dead.

TR: The superstition that you shouldn’t walk across a grave. It is bad luck to walk across a grave. The scout troup would meet at a Methodist church and the meetings would be at night. We would play capture the flag a lot and across the property and graveyard in the dark and it would be spooky. I was hesitant to play, because you’re just not supposed to, disturb the dead, particularly at night. It’s all tied to respect for the dead. Back then when you are just trying to scare one another, it added another element, and it’s a long standing superstition that you don’t walk across graveyards, or play capture the flag and run. That seems even worse.

Me: If this is widely held, did you know of the superstition when you were doing it?

TR: Well yeah, it was well known that you aren’t supposed to do it and you’re walking across a body, a dead body.

TR: We thought about it, and had various levels of investment in the superstition, but I was not particularly invested. Some might have been more worried about incurring the wrath of a ghost or receive bad luck, but I didn’t think much of it. The idea of displeased ghosts became more believable playing at night than it would be playing during the day.

Me: Was it more believable at night?

TR: Definitely.

Me: If it was more believable, why did you do it?

TR: The fun of the game weighed in heavily, but the hesitation came from it being disrespectful. It is widely known that it is disrespectful.

Context of the performance: This was told to me over a Zoom call.

Thoughts: The informant considers this superstition just widely known–it’s not officially codified. It takes a sentiment, being respectful of the dead, and turns it into a superstition using an object–the gravestone representing the person it’s placed for. It also reveals children’s thought processes surrounding death, where the fun of the game outweighed any feeling of disrespect. The superstition and “spooky” nature added an element of fun to the game as the informant and his friends tried to scare each other, perhaps signifying young children’s non-confrontation of the taboo; they use the superstition to make the fun scary, but don’t think about the taboo of death that is incongruous with childhood.

Not my circus, not my monkey

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, California
Performance Date: 4/29/21
Primary Language: English

Me: How’d you hear about this?

SD: I think I heard about it on, um, I believe it was an Instagram post that was a screenshot of a Tumblr post, probably about 2016, maybe.

Me: What does it mean?

SD: So the phrase is not my circus not my monkey, I believe it’s an English translation from a Polish saying. It basically means it’s not my problem.

Me: What do you think the circus and monkey mean?

SD: I like to think that it’s like a literal circus, you know, like a travelling circus, uh, and there was like a loose monkey somewhere and someone saw this loose monkey and they were like well, you know, it’s probably from the travelling circus, but like it’s not my circus, it’s not my monkey.

Background: The informant, SD, was born in the US in the Bay Area. Her parents are also from the US. The informant does not speak the language, but informed me that this proverb is from Poland. She uses it a lot and uses it instead of saying not my problem, she thinks it’s just fun and likes to confuse other people when she says it.

Context: This piece was collected during an in person conversation.

Thoughts: I’ve heard multiple other people use this phrase in the past couple years. When I looked it up after I heard it the first time, it came up always as “Not my circus, not my monkeys” but I’ve only ever heard it with monkey singular. That’s just an interesting variation that I don’t feel changes the meaning much. Her getting it from online shows the easily shareable quality, especially with something quippy and short like a proverb. Phrases pass into speech from various online sites and it has become a saying understood in vernacular.

The working mule who ate too much

Nationality: American
Age: 82
Occupation: Retired Professor of Pharmaceuticals
Residence: Chapel Hill, NC
Performance Date: 5/2/21
Primary Language: English

Background: The informant was born and raised in Western North Carolina. He has lived in North Carolina his whole life. He wanted to share some Western North Carolina stories. He explained that this is just a silly joke story that “you’d be setting around and talking to folks maybe after game of golf or tennis, you might even be out hunting, having a coke or something and talking and people would throw out things like [this]. Just Western Carolina country humor.”

“A fellow had a mule that was a great worker but he ate too much.  Giving this some thought, the fellow figured the mule was dumb as a rock, so he decided to just cut back on his hay to see what happened.  So he cut the portion in half and mule didn’t seem to notice. Being pleased himself, for the next several weeks he kept reducing the amount of hay.  Finally, just when he got the mule where he could work without eating, the durn fool died.”

This basically just means if it ain’t broke don’t fix it or why try to mess with something good?

Context of the performance: This was explained to me over FaceTime.

While the informant described it as just a silly joke tale, he supposed it had the above meaning. It could also mean that you shouldn’t cut corners, you should do everything fully. The extended metaphor reflects a local attitude and reflects the relationship between culture and folklore, especially as this idea is expressed in a vernacular and metaphor largely exclusive to the region, perhaps demonstrating the historic-geographic method of looking at folklore.

Sometimes you just have to poke the frog to get him to move

Nationality: American
Age: 82
Occupation: Retired Professor of Pharmaceuticals
Residence: Chapel Hill, NC
Performance Date: 5/2/21
Primary Language: English

Background: The informant was born and raised in Western North Carolina. He has lived in North Carolina his whole life. He wanted to share some Western North Carolina expressions and proverbs because he uses them frequently, liking their “local” nature.

“Sometimes you just have to poke the frog to get him to move.”

The informant said this proverb comes from a very literal place. When he was younger, he and his friends would go around poking frogs in the swamps with sticks to make them jump, saying: “It’s like, if you can imagine, when you’re growing up that’s what you do, you take the stick and poke the frog and it’ll jump.” Frogs are unique because just being around them or getting close to them doesn’t phase them or disturb them, only by actually touching them will they move. He explained that you would use this when it seems like you can’t get someone to do something, and it just means you have to take action to get others to act, especially if they’re being lazy.

Context of the performance: This was explained to me over FaceTime.

Thoughts: While the meaning can be inferred, the practice behind its meaning was a local thing for him. It’s a short, fixed phrase that provides an easy way to understand the world, given that the person hearing the proverb understands the meaning. In this example region comes into play, as this a widely understood sentiment, but its form as a proverb would perhaps not make complete sense to those outside the region of Western North Carolina, and perhaps some other areas of the south. I did not understand the context behind it, but got the gist of it. It made sense in terms of his life experience and that of people who grow up in rural, swampy areas after he explained.