Author Archives: Cameron Steurer

Ashes and Switches

Nationality: American
Age: 83
Residence: McKinney, TX
Performance Date: 4/19/15
Primary Language: English

The informant explained his family’s other Christmas tradition of waking up at dawn for presents, and added that another Pierson family Christmas tradition is telling the children that if they weren’t good that year, Santa would bring them ashes and switches. It’s something that Pierson grandparents have been telling their kids for many decades, and it passes down as each new generation grows up.

 

A particular story involving this family tradition came to mind as he was telling me about the tradition. He said that he would tell his four daughters about Santa’s ashes and switches every year, but on one particular year the girls decided to turn it into a practical joke. That Christmas, their family was headed to Alabama to spend the holidays at his sister’s beach house. He had been warning his daughters about the ashes and switches for a couple months by that time. The girls decided to wrap ashes from the fireplace and switches (twigs) from the backyard in a pretty box with a beautiful bow and took the box with them to Alabama. When it came time to open presents, they presented the box to their father (the informant). He opened the box and the ashes flew out and coated his pajamas and face. The entire family laughed because for the first time ever, the kids had turned the tradition back around on the adults.

 

He still continues the tradition to this day, and so do his daughters with their own children. He thinks it’s only a matter of time before someone else wraps a box of ashes as a prank.

The Pink Tutu

Nationality: American
Residence: McKinney, TX
Performance Date: 4/19/15
Primary Language: English

When his granddaughter Lauren was a little girl, she was the biggest tomboy in the family. She was entirely devoted to sports and bugs, and hated girly things, especially the color pink and the ballet lessons her mother tried in vain to make her take.

As a joke for her 12th birthday, he got her a pink tutu. Because the entire family, including other aunts and uncles and cousins, lived nearby, the whole family was there when Lauren opened her grandfather’s present. Naturally, everyone including Lauren was incredibly amused.

Lauren ended up regifting the tutu back to her grandfather that very Christmas (again, in front of the whole family), which kicked off a new family tradition. Each gift-giving holiday (Christmas, Easter, any family member’s birthday), the tutu passes to another family member. The gifter always attempts to regift the tutu in a creative fashion. Some have put it on stuffed animals, others opt for more of a surprise regifting by hiding it inside another present or wrapping it in a box specifically shaped for a different gift. It’s always a challenge for each subsequent recipient to figure out a new and funny way to regift the tutu.

The tradition has been going on in his family for a little over a decade now, and it’s well-known even to family members who live too far away to participate as frequently as the group who lives in North Texas. It’s a way to keep the family close to one another, even as grandchildren graduate and go off to college or even move out of the house to start their own lives in new cities. The family always looks forward to seeing who the next recipient of the tutu will be, as it has become a main event during family holidays and gatherings.

Pokemon’s Lavender Town Urban Legend

Nationality: Irish, American
Age: 24
Occupation: Student, Freelance Writer
Residence: Dallas, TX and Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/10/15
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

Though it’s just an urban legend, the informant finds the legend of Pokemon’s Lavender Town to be entertaining due to its creepy nature. It’s one of the most well-known urban legends involving the Pokemon games.

The incident in question occurred after the release of the Japanese version of Pokemon Red and Green, when a number of Japanese children committed suicide. In the Pokemon videogames, there’s a location on the map called “Lavender Town.” It’s a real location in the game, and the player must travel to Lavender Town on his or her journey in order to beat the game. However, the music that plays in-game while the player is in Lavender Town is incredibly unsettling. Some versions of the story say that the programmers encrypted a code into the song that would cause the kids to commit suicide.

The urban legend has been proven false, but the story still persists. The informant thinks there are a couple reasons why. The first reason is that people genuinely like to be scared. “That’s why scary movies are popular, right? People love this stuff. It’s creepy. It’s supernatural,” she said. Another reason she cites is that the song that the legend is based on is actually a creepy song in real life. “It’s something about the tones used in the song. It makes you feel unhappy, gives you a sinking feeling when you listen to it.”

Other versions of the legend say that Lavender Town’s song is so sad because the town exists as a memorial to all the Pokemon that have ever died in the Pokemon universe.

Two-Striped Telamonia Spider Legend

Nationality: Irish
Age: 22
Occupation: Student, studying Biomedical Engineering
Residence: Bradenton, FL and Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/25/15
Primary Language: English

The informant said she first heard about the Two-Striped Telamonia spider while living in Florida  via a friend who fell victim to a chain email. She said that her friend approached her at school and warned her to check under every toilet seat before she sat down. Why?

According to the informant’s friend, the Two-Striped Telamonia was a species of spider that had a penchant for making its home underneath toilet seats. The spiders were supposedly extremely aggressive and would bite anyone who sat down on the toilet. They were also supposedly incredibly poisonous. “She really scared me at first,” the informant said of her friend, “but when she told me she read it in an email forwarded from her own mother, I pretty much dismissed it as an urban legend.” However, the informant admitted that she was spooked enough to check under toilet seats for a couple of weeks following her friend’s story.

The Two-Striped Telamonia is apparently one of Florida’s most well-known urban legends. Many people fell victim to the story, and a day-long statewide spider scare started up as a result of the story. “Stuff like this relies on gullibility and fear,” said the informant, “otherwise it wouldn’t spread as far. People want to believe these sorts of conspiracy theories.”

No Arms and No Legs Jokes

Nationality: Irish, American
Age: 24
Occupation: Student, Freelance writer
Residence: Dallas, TX and Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/10/15
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

The informant says that she first heard these jokes from her dad. “My dad loves telling jokes,” she said. “He’s the funniest person in our family.”

She said that the jokes in question are funny because they’re a bit insensitive. They take a physical disability and make fun of it by comparing a person to an inanimate object or word:

– What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who floats in the water? Answer: Bob

– What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who hides in a pile of leaves? Answer: Russel (Rustle, get it?)

– What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who lays in front of your door all day? Answer: Matt

– What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who you throw into a hole? Answer: Phil (Fill!)

– What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who comes out in the Spring? Answer: Bud

The informant says that her dad has been telling these kids of jokes since she was a child, and she always found them funny. She says she can’t recall anyone who found the jokes offensive, but she thinks that it could be because her father never told the jokes to people he knew would take offense. Her entire family, including extended family, thinks these jokes are some of the best they’ve heard. “We really value humor in my family, ” she said. He tells them mostly at family gatherings.