Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

Mother’s Witty Toast

Nationality: USA
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: San Francisco, CA
Performance Date: 4/10/18
Primary Language: English

The following is a recollection of a slightly drunken toast given by a friend’s mother. I had seen a video clipping of his mother giving the toast on the social media application Snapchat, although I could not understand what was being said (although it was quite clear from the many empty glasses of wine beside her what libations had led into the toast itself).

 

When I next saw my friend, I asked him out of curiosity what the specifics of the toast were. He indicated that it is a witty one his mother frequently gives at particular family outings when all six of his siblings are present at the table.

 

This particular toast was aimed at the eldest brother, who had just welcomed a newborn son (his first child) with his wife.

 

My friend’s imparting of his mother’s toast went as follows:

 

Here’s to you, as good as you are. Here’s to me, as bad as I am. And as bad as I am, you’re as good as you are. And as good as you are, I’m as bad as I am.

 

A common trait seen in toasts is a subtle mixture of humor and seriousness. Being a proclamation of goodwill towards the subject (or subjects), the overall message usually bears a heartfelt sentimentality meant to outweigh any teasing or foolery that precedes it.

 

What is distinct of this toast, in particular, is a cheeky admission regarding each side’s tendency towards good and bad, with an exclusive insistence of ‘good’ on the side of the subject and an exclusive insistence of ‘bad’ on the side of the presenter.

 

Despite the presenter painting themselves as bad, the repetition that makes up the bulk of the toast indicates this in a manner more celebratory than derogatory and only made possible/acceptable by the good of the subject balancing out the bad of the other.

 

In this, both sides of good and bad are made necessary by their pairing together.

Finland/Lapland Dogsled Setup, Maintenance, Operation

Nationality: Finnish
Age: 32
Occupation: Dog Sled Guide
Residence: Kittila, Finland
Performance Date: 3/14/18
Primary Language: Finnish
Language: English

The following outlines the steps to setting up and arranging a traditional Lappish (northern Finnish) dogsled team, along with operating the various functions of the sled itself.

 

The process is one I learned from my guide during a weeklong excursion into the northern Finnish wilderness and subsequently practiced myself on a daily basis.

 

In the morning, after feeding the sled dogs, who are altogether kept along a chain line (attached by their collars), each member of the five-dog team is harnessed one-by-one onto the sled. Their harnesses are first slipped over their heads, with their collars then buckled to a line attached to the sled. Their front paws/legs must then be guided through two front straps. At this point, the dog can be considered securely attached.

 

A particular layout and order of the dogs is required for a one-man sled with about 50-100 lbs of cargo to be properly driven:

 

Two dogs are placed at the front of the line, one in the middle, and two in the back (closest to the sled). The dogs at the front are known as the lead dogs, typically reserved for those that are younger and less experienced, while the dogs at the back are known as the wheel dogs, the strongest and most capable of the pack. The dog in the middle, known as the center, is the dominant member of all five, meant to lead the wheel dogs on and keep the lead dogs in check should they misbehave.

 

The lead and wheel dogs are also buckled to each other, along with being attached to the sled line, as to keep their strides in sync and prevent any wandering from any direction that is not forwards.

 

If the sled is larger in size, or there is a greater amount of cargo (and thus more weight), more dogs will be needed. To do this, a set of three dogs (a single and a pair of leads) are attached to the front of the already present five, totaling eight. A greater number is typically unnecessary.

 

It should be noted that having a greater number of dogs on a smaller sled will not make it go any faster, as the dogs are all attached and therefore can only run at the same speed as an individual is capable. What it does serve to do is disperse the weight of the sled even more, and thus allow the dogs to travel for longer distances and amounts of time without becoming exhausted.

 

What is interesting to note is that the dogs, having been raised by Finnish trainers, respond only to commands in Finnish, unable to understand any other languages such as English. This is particularly important when driving the sled. As there are no steering-related controls, any shifts in direction must be verbally commanded to the dogs in Finnish, being either vasen (left) or oikea (right). However, steering is not often necessary as the dogs usually follow paths that are already made, leaving the commands to be reserved for turns and switches onto new paths. Should the dogs travel the wrong way, the driver must hop off the sled and manually guide the dogs back in the proper direction.

 

Getting off the sled arises the matter of braking, which is performed using the feet. A flat metal mandible bar is stepped on, the bottom of the bar containing two outward-sticking pieces of rebar that dig into the snow below, slowing or, if pressed completely down, halting the dogs.

 

Longer periods of braking require a large metal hook tied to the sled and hung off the side when not in use. To use this hook, one must have already braked the dogs to a halt with the manual step, then throwing the hook into a solid patch of snow/ice and lodging it firmly into the ground. This way, when the dogs attempt to move forward, the hook anchors them in place and prevents them from moving. Additional security can be managed by using another length of rope to tie the sled to a nearby tree.

 

Once back on the sled, (and if necessary, having removed the anchor hook from the ground) the driver lifts their foot from the brake and shouts at the dogs mennä (go) or juosta (run) in order to prompt their team to resume running.

 

Yiddish Prayer for the Dead

Nationality: USA
Age: 73
Occupation: Architect
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 3/24/18
Primary Language: Yiddish
Language: English

The following is a prayer, the traditional Jewish prayer for the dead, as given by my godfather on the birthday of my late brother.

 

As he explained, the prayer is usually reserved for the day of the deceased’s passing. However, given that my late brother’s passing came only two weeks after his birthday, and the fact that my godfather and I would not be able to see each other on that date, he opted for conducting the prayer on the birthday night instead.

 

The same prayer was given a number of weeks the year prior after my brother’s actual passing. Although my godfather gave the prayer in the presence of his own family on that day, he repeated it during a visit on my behalf.

 

Given before seating at dinner, the prayer is repeated each consecutive year onward. However, it is reserved for kin, not given for friends and familiar faces.

 

Standing at the dinner table with our food before us, my godfather proceeded to recite the prayer (from memory), in its original Yiddish, which is also his first language:

 

Yitgaddal veyitqaddash shmeh rabba. Be’alma di vra khir’uteh. Veyamlikh malkhuteh, behayekhon uvyomekhon uvhaye dekhol bet Yisrael, be’agala uvizman qariv. Ve’imru: Amen.

 

Yehe shmeh rabba mevarakh le’alam ul’alme ‘almaya.

 

Yitbarakh veyishtabbah veyitpaar veyitromam veyitnasse veyithaddar veyit’alleh veyithallal shmeh dequdsha berikh hu. Le’ella min kol birkhata veshiratea tushbehata venehemata daamiran be’alma. Ve’imru: Amen.

 

Titqabbal tzelotehon uva’utehon d’khol bet Yisrael qodam avuhon di bishmayya. Ve’imru: Amen.

 

Yehe shelama rabba min shemayya, vehayyim ‘alainu v’al kol Yisrael. Ve’imru: Amen.

 

O’she shalom bimromav, hu ya’ase shalom ‘alenu, v’al kol Yisra’el. Ve’imru: Amen.

 

After this point, he took out a small candle and lit it, explaining that after the prayer, the candle is allowed to burn for 24 hours, and then extinguished.

 

The candle was then set in the center of the dining table. However, he explained, tradition does not call for the candle to be placed anywhere in particular. Given that the prayer is said before seating for the dinner meal, it is most often placed among where the meal is being eaten as a matter of simple convenience.

 

Following the recitation of the prayer and the lighting of the candle, we sat and ate.

At the same time next year, it will be done once more.

 

The English translation of the prayer has been included:

 

“Exalted and hallowed be His great Name.

 

Throughout the world which He has created according to His Will. May He establish His kingship, bring forth His redemption and hasten the coming of His Moshiach.

 

In your lifetime and in your days and in the lifetime of the entire House of Israel, sword, famine and death shall cease from us and from the entire Jewish nation, speedily and soon, and say, Amen.

 

May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified, exalted, and extolled, honored, adored and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He.

 

Beyond all the blessings, hymns, praises and consolations that are uttered in the world, and say, Amen.

 

Upon Israel, and upon our sages, and upon their disciples, and upon all the disciples of their disciples, and upon all those who occupy themselves with the Torah, here or in any other place, upon them and upon you, may there be abundant peace, grace, kindness, compassion, long life, ample sustenance and deliverance, from their Father in heaven; and say, Amen.

 

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and a good life for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

 

He who makes peace in His heavens, may He make peace for us and for all Israel, and say, Amen.”

 

 

What is interesting to note about the prayer itself is that it does not acknowledge the dead at all and is instead entirely an exaltation towards God. The significance of the prayer is undeniable given its exclusive reservation for family members, but to not mention death at all might prompt a double glance.

 

My uncle explained this as an almost humorous consideration, but elaborated that the absence of mentioning death in a prayer whose very purpose centers on it is that remembrance is almost implied, and that a reminder of the person’s passing is not necessary. I found it noteworthy, then, that the traditional prayer for the dead draws the entirety of its significance in the symbolism of its name and subsequent use, with the actual components of the prayer itself important to a lesser degree.

 

A topic that is often joked upon between my godfather and me is the fact that I am an Episcopalian Christian, and he a Russian Orthodox Jew. It is interesting to consider, then that such a highly specialized and ritualistic prayer may be conducted between members of two religions with a distinct barrier between them. In this case, circumstances of love supersede those of preconceived notions of theological leanings.

Bible Study Prayer

Nationality: Nicaraguan
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/12/18
Primary Language: Spanish
Language: English

Each Wednesday, I meet with a small group of fellow university students for a peer-led Bible study at the USC Catholic Center. Each week has a similar layout in terms of procedure, although in this particular meeting, the primary topic was centered and prayer for the recent passing of a close friend and classmate. Because her death greatly affected many of my fellow classmates (and needless to say, her family, who I also knew), much of the prayers given were subsequently aimed in consideration of these others.

 

The following frames the course of a typical Bible-study meeting procedure, although in the case of an exceptional incident:

 

The same eight members of the study meet in the same room, a quiet second-floor conference area, each week beginning at 6:50 p.m., and lasting for around 45 minutes to an hour. Our study’s leader, Javier, had brought me into the group the preceding year. He starts the session having already brought a dealing of snack foods (Oreos, chips & dip, etc.), seating the members around a circular table.

 

The meeting is formally started with the members bowing their heads, crossing their hearts, and reciting in unison the ‘Hail Mary’ traditional catholic prayer, which goes as follows:

 

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

Each member then goes one-by-one relaying their personal ‘highs and lows’ since the last meeting, followed by an ‘coming to God moment,’ meant to illustrate an incidence or realization of spirituality and faith.

 

At this point in the meeting, the leader then transitions to a pre-selected lesson, involving the reading of a particular passage of scripture that exemplifies the day’s lesson, followed by a group discussion of what in the passage stood out during the reading, what conclusions they have drawn, or otherwise. This day’s topic involved a passage from the book of Philippians (2: 5-8),  that highlights the humbled passage of Jesus through the realm of man by taking on the form of a man himself.

 

Two smaller, supplementary readings are typically held that reinforce the day’s lesson. However, the leader took the opportunity to discuss the topic of my passed friend, which I had disclosed to him earlier. The group then held a loose discussion of life and death from their various points of view.

 

Each meeting is subsequently closed with an extended prayer from the leader himself. He took the opportunity to center it exclusively on the topic of the passed friend.

 

While the circumstances did not figure appropriate to record the prayer in its entirety, the leader’s points of acknowledgment and hearkening to God included my own emotional health, that of the deceased parents and her friends/classmates at school, as well as for potential victims of suicide (given that these were the circumstances under which she passed).

 

Perhaps the most important aspect of this particular meeting to analyze is the adaptation of a group’s normal schedule to briefly accommodate and address a member’s trying circumstances. In this case, it was to provide a sense of comfort and counsel by means of spirituality, along with the personalization of holding it among people familiar with each other.

 

The leader’s extended prayer stood out to me the most, for unlike the established prayer recited at the start of each meeting, this prayer was devised entirely in the moment, lasting for a total of five uninterrupted minutes devoid of ‘ums’ or silences in thought.

 

A small, but important point that can also be acknowledged in the general scheme of the meetings is the inclusion of snacks as an attracting factor. By providing food, the study leader is able to provide an incentive for members to arrive and enjoy treats, but also to keep hands and minds from wandering or growing idle during/in between each topic of study.

Dropping the Baton sports belief

Nationality: USA
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 3/27/18
Primary Language: English

The following interaction illustrates a folk belief relating to a former student-athlete in high-school track & field relating coach/student view that dropping a relay baton during practice will bode ill for the actual race.

 

For convenience, the interviewee has been marked as ‘A’, and the documenter has been marked as ‘Q.’ The interaction proceeded as such:

 

A., I don’t know if this is true for every track and field team, but if you drop the baton like if you were on the relay team and you dropped it any time during the week before the track meets, during practice. Then you’d have to run a mile, because then for sure if you drop the baton during practice then for sure you were gonna drop the baton during the actual race.

 

My coach really believed it, and she would get like severely distraught any time someone dropped the baton, because it was…sacred.

 

…

I also dropped the baton and had to run a mile.

Actually, I dropped the baton multiple times. People really shame you for that.

Q. You learned all this from your coach?

A. Yeah.

Q. What does it mean to your coach?

A. What does it mean to my coach? It means we’ve just lost.

 

I thought it was just that particular coach, too. But we had 3 different coaches in 4 years when I was there, and all of them were like ‘you drop the baton, you go run a mile.

 

And I’m like, what? There’s no correlation.

I get the whole ‘practice the way you perform’ thing, but I also think that just because you drop the baton during practice that doesn’t mean you’re gonna drop it during the race.

 

The caution surrounding and seemingly arbitrary enforcement of a folk belief on the part of the coaches illustrated here pulls back the deep-seeded roots of those that inhabit the field of sports, in which the beliefs can take a limitless amount of forms.

 

As indicated here, most of them center on the matter of luck and future implications of success/victory/winning, along with their mirror image counterparts. The matter of keeping the baton in one’s hand does not determine whether one will win, but dropping it will certainly determine if the team should lose.

 

The most interesting aspect is the enforcement of the belief from multiple coaches throughout the years who, presumably, would not have colluded with each other for something so trivial. However, such consistency across rotation highlights the strength of certain sports beliefs no matter who or where.