Category Archives: Folk speech

Finishing your bowl of rice

Nationality: American
Age: 26
Occupation: Unemployed
Residence: San Diego, CA
Performance Date: 4/26/15
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin Chinese

The informant was asked about some sayings, proverbs, and customs in her family.

Informant: “A lot of families, to get us to finish all the rice on our bowl, they [parents] say that if you don’t finish the rice on your bowl, your spouse is going to have a lot of pimples and blemishes on their face, so every time, they always remind us of that story, like ‘you know how so and so has a lot of pimples? Their spouse must not finish their bowl, so you don’t want to do that. Mom and dad… they’ve been telling us this since we’re young so it’s expected that our bowls are clean. Otherwise the stories will be reminded every time there’s something in the bowl… what I’ve heard from my German friend, when you’re growing up, it’s either your spouse is going to have a lot of pimples, or there’s a lot of starving kids in Africa. But then I met a lot of international students while I was in college, and he actually says that his parents tell him because there’s a lot of starving kids in China. So there’s a lot of different countries there involved. ”

Collector: “Are Asians specifically more afraid of pimples than other people are?”

Informant: “I think that in Chinese culture we definitely do care about our appearance so having your spouse having pimples I guess it’s not really… it can be frowned upon in the community and since Asian cultures are very community centered, you want to look good so you don’t want… it’s always community centered so you need to care for your spouse’s pimples. You know, its not just about your pimples, it’s you know, you’re responsible for somebody else in the community”

A lot of people in the US probably recall being told by their parents when they were young to finish the food on their plate because there are starving kids in Africa who would be extremely appreciative of whatever food was on that plate. Thus, it’s quite interesting to observe an alternative version of essentially the same saying parents use to get their kids to finish their plate of food. There are likely many more variations of this well-known guilt strategy around the world.

The no-flip rule for fish

Nationality: American
Age: 26
Occupation: Unemployed
Residence: San Diego, CA
Performance Date: 4/26/15
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin Chinese

The informant told me about the following custom when I asked her about her family customs regarding food and eating.

“When we’re eating fish in my house, after we finish a big fish, after we finish the top layer, we cannot flip the fish. We have to eat from the side that we placed it on the plate. So my dad tells us the story of back in the day, when the fishermen go out to fish, when they come bring the fish home, they never flip the fish because it would be a symbol of their boat flipping upside down, and he learned that from his dad. So now whenever my mom cooks fish, we are never allowed to flip the fish over; we always have to eat it from the topside, down. So you eat the top, and then you take out the bone, and the long tail, and then you finish the fish like that. Other Chinese families do it [as well] because I think it’s passed down from my grandfather to my dad, and then my dad passes it down to us. So it’s a common thing if you ask a Taiwanese person, do you flip the fish, it would be a commonly known thing that you don’t flip the fish”

In folklore, it is well known that groups of people who interact directly with nature, and things that are out of their control, tend to have superstitions and beliefs regarding their actions. Thus, it’s not uncommon to see a belief or superstition such as the above one in a fishing culture. However, it’s interesting to see that some of these beliefs and superstitions are passed on to the next generations even though it might not even be directly relevant anymore.

Rope

Nationality: american estonian
Age: 21

My friend Mikk picked me up from the airport and on the way home stuck in traffic, we began talking about how living in our apartment complex is affecting our grades.. its too easy too live there and there is too much partying. He sais

“It’s enough rope to hang yourself”

Meaning there is so much freedom and things to be tempted with that we might kill ourselves.

“Actions vs. Words”

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Salesman
Residence: Sacramento, CA
Performance Date: 11 March 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.

Background:

This is something I picked up from a bunch of different management prep talks. It gets mentioned almost every event. Depending on who’s talking they have their own favorite version but I like this one the best because it’s short and sweet. It basically just reminds me that I can talk all I want but until I actually do something it doesn’t really mean anything what my intentions are. It’s all just bullshit until I show what I’m made of through my actions.

Context:

I say this to people like when [our friend] Sean talks about his music for fuckin ever about the EP he’s working on and the gigs he wants to book and his social media or whatever, and eventually I just can’t take it anymore and I say it to like jog some fuckin sense into him cuz I can’t take it anymore. He just talks a lot of shit, and I want to remind him “Hey, you haven’t done anything yet, so it doesn’t matter. Plans are great, but you haven’t accomplished anything, and if you don’t like that, then for fuck’s sake, DO SOMETHING about it.”

My Thoughts:

This really speaks to the culture of the CUTCO company that you always want to get the sale now, today, right away. We believe that if you don’t walk out of a house with a sale, you failed and you need to figure out how to do better next time. We hate when people talk about doing something like “oh, I almost got the sale” because at the end of the day, “almost” means nothing in our company.

“Bros before Hoes”

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Actor
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 7 April 2015
Primary Language: English

Text:

When a man feels that he has been slighted by a woman, he’ll turn to his male friends for support, and often express remorse for having prioritized his paramour over the camaraderie of his “bros.”

Background:

In any breakup or conflict, there is a desire for both parties to believe themselves to be in the right, and to be surrounded by others who are willing to help them believe in their own lack of responsibility. One of the principle ways in which individuals will avoid blame is that of vilifying the person with whom they have had a conflict. When there are very few legitimate complaints to be made about the object of one’s heartbreak, as is often the case when the principle responsibility of the conflict lies in the individual seeking most to avoid blame, the individual is likely to resort to ridiculous overgeneralization and categorically unsound platitudes (“bitches be crazy”). Because they’ve surrounded themselves with friends who will, for the time being, support their friend by confirming their status as a victim, the jilted lover will align their pain along self-indulgent, sexist lines, by drawing the conclusion that women are antagonistic towards the feelings and needs of men, and that the only dependable source of support is that of other males. Like I said, it’s a coping mechanism. While it extends beyond the heterosexual circumstances described above, the overwhelming consensus in our culture would suggest that this way of dealing with guilt is generally most prevalent in this context.

Context:

Ok, so here’s like an example, right?

Bro: “Hey Mark, I’m sorry Kathy dumped you.”

Mark: “Yeah man, I can’t believe that bitch.”

Bro (thinking about what Mark wants to hear): “Yeah, Mark…that bitch.”

Mark: “All I did was cheat on her and lie to her and take her for granted, and then she got all hysterical about it. I think she might have been PMSing. Whatever. Who needs bitches when you’ve got buds, right?”

Bro (texting Kathy, “I heard you’re single ;)): “Yeah, Mark. Kathy’s…Kathy’s the worst.”

Mark: “I’m so lucky I got a friend like you to help me out when bitches be trippin’. Bros before hoes.”

Bro: “Yeah, man…Bros before hoes.”

My Thoughts:

I’ve never thought about this saying as folklore before, but it totally fits. I’m sure there must be other sayings in the world that express the same basic sentiment. I think it’s interesting to talk about it that way, in an academic discourse, because it’s really casual and whatnot if you know what I mean.