Category Archives: Gestation, birth, and infancy

Generally up to the first year.

The Boy Who Returned

Age: 78

Text: TT told me a family story involving the death of two boys and the belief that the same soul returned decades later through another person.

When TT was younger, she was very close to her teenage cousin P, who treated her like his elder sister. When they used to play together as kids, TT always remembers how P was loving and protective of her. When P was 16 years old, he was diagnosed with a very aggressive type of bone cancer. They had to amputate his leg at the femur where the cancer was, but it spread quickly to the rest of his body and he died on December 18th at 5:30 ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌P.M.

The following year, TT had her first child named S who was a baby boy. A few days after birth, doctors discovered a fracture in S’s left femur. It was broken in the exact location where P’s leg had been amputated. The family found this strange but was too overwhelmed with medical concerns to interpret it at the time.

S recovered from the fracture and was a normal, active infant until he fell suddenly ill around six months old. Despite TT taking him repeatedly to the doctor, his condition worsened, fever, diarrhea, dehydration, and he died in the hospital on December 18th, at 5:30 PM, the exact date and time of P’s death, one year later.

Because of the mirrored injuries and the identical death date and time, TT came to believe that S was P returned to her. The boy who once loved her as a sister in life came back to her as a son, if only briefly, completing some unfinished time he felt he still needed with TT.

Decades later, another figure entered TT’s life: a young man, called R (who was the same age that S would have been at the time), who helped care for her very sick husband during his declining years. R handled every detail of caregiving with deep loyalty, devotion, and emotional steadiness. TT often said that even a biological son might not have shown such unwavering dedication.

Over time, she began to feel that R carried the same soul as S and P. She described his presence as a spiritual continuation of the boy she lost and as someone who had returned yet again, this time in adulthood, to help her husband through illness and to make sure she was not alone.

TT also believed that R’s actions reflected the qualities of Lord Ram, the Hindu figure symbolizing duty, righteousness, and service. She often said R was “like an incarnation of Ram”. He not a literal divine rebirth, but a way of saying that he embodied the compassion, loyalty, and spiritual purpose associated with Ram in Hindu tradition.

Following her husband’s death and R’s eventual departure, TT remarked that it was as if she were losing a son all over again. The sorrow she experienced at that time was similar to the pain of her children leaving home for the first time and even the grief she had carried since losing S many years ago. To TT, R was more than just a caretaker, he was the living continuation of a soul she believed had returned to her twice before. Letting him go was painful, as though she were watching that same soul walk away yet again.

However, their relationship was not affected by this separation. TT and R are still very close. He calls her before making major decisions, visits when he can, and treats her with the same reverence and affection that a son would show his mother.

Context:​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ TT shared this story with me when we were having a private conversation for a folklore assignment. While she was speaking from her apartment in India, I was listening from Los Angeles. 

This is a story that is hardly ever shared and only with very close family. It is brought up when one thinks or talks about fate, reincarnation, and the secret ways in which the people we love might come back to us. 

In a South Asian setting, the interpretation of such occurrences is highly influenced by the concepts of reincarnation, destiny, karmic ties, and spiritual return. For instance, if somebody is said to be “like an incarnation of Lord Ram,” it is a way of acknowledging that person’s admirable traits and not as the actual god reborn, but as a recognition of the person having high moral or spiritual qualities. 

The Narrator’s Perspective: TT does not talk dramatically when she tells this story. She talks softly, but at the same time, with complete belief that it is not a matter of chance that the coincidences are very exact. 

She believes that P came back to her in the form of S, maybe only for a short time and one of the signs of a spiritual unity were the same death dates and both having broken legs. She also believes that after a long time, it is through R, whose love for the family was way beyond the ordinary, that the same spirit comes back to us. 

The traits of R, the goodness, the quietness, the indestructible faith, was that of Lord Ram, thus, to her, the return of this spirit was to give her family security and protection. To her, it is not a scary story but rather a reassuring one. It revolves around the idea that love never dies. 

My Thoughts (Analysis): From a folkloric perspective, this is a classic reincarnation memorate (classic in Hindu/Indian culture), where lived experience is interpreted through cultural beliefs about soul continuity.

The story contains several motifs common in South Asian reincarnation narratives:

Firstly, mirrored injuries as a reincarnation marker (fractured thigh matching an amputated leg). Also, identical death dates and times signaling a cyclical spiritual pattern. Finally, the soul returning through multiple forms across a single lifetime.

What makes the story striking is not only the coincidences, but how the family uses them to create meaning from profound loss. Instead of viewing these tragedies as disconnected events, TT interprets them as part of a spiritual continuity that kept her connected to someone she loved deeply. Personally, I find the story powerful because it shows how families turn grief into meaning, transforming randomness into relationship.

Obanje Child

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Story:

PA: “Ah, my child, in the old days, people feared the Ogbanje. These were children who came from the spirit world, but they were never meant to stay. A mother would give birth, love the child, care for them, and just when she thought they would grow strong, eh, just like that, the child would fall sick and die. But it wouldn’t end there, no. That same mother would take in again, and when she gave birth, the baby would look the same, act the same, even carry the same stubborn ways.

People knew what was happening. It was the same child coming back to torment the family, to bring sorrow again and again. That is why they would go to the dibia, the healer, to find a way to stop it. Sometimes, they would cut a mark on the child’s body small, small scars, so that if they died and returned, they would see the mark and know they had been caught. Other times, the dibia would search for the child’s Iyi-uwa, a secret thing the Ogbanje hides in the earth, tying them to the spirit world. If they found it and destroyed it, ah, the child could stay. They would become like any other child, no more running away.”

Context:

The informant is an Igbo elder who grew up hearing about Ogbanje children from their own elders and witnessed how deeply people believed in them. They first heard about it as a child from older relatives and saw families who lost children seek out traditional healers for help.

My Interpretation:

The Ogbanje story is a really interesting way that Igbo people explained something as painful as losing a child. Instead of seeing it as just bad luck or illness, they believed some children were spirits that came and went, causing grief for their families. The idea of marking the child or finding their Iyi-uwa was a way to stop the cycle and make sure the child stayed.

Even today, some people still believe in Ogbanje, or at least know someone who does. It shows how strong traditional beliefs can be, even when times change. Whether or not someone believes in spirits, this story makes it clear how much families struggled with repeated child loss and how they tried to find ways to protect their children.

Feeding Birthday Cake

AGE: 21

DATE OF PERFORMANCE: 4/19

LANGUAGE: English 

NATIONALITY: Canadian 

OCCUPATION: Student 

PRIMARY LANGUAGE: English 

RESIDENCE: Westlake Village 

Text

Interviewer: What’s a tradition you and your family have done during the holidays or certain celebrations?

SA: “One small but meaningful tradition in my family happens during birthdays. I only recently learned that this is an Indian thing–but the person whose birthday it is feeds cake to the people closest to them, and they get fed cake by those same people. It’s a simple act but deeply rooted in affection and closeness.”

Interpretation

A lot of the rituals, superstitions, and other traditions that SA had described to me in her family and her culture surround concepts of love, devotion, and affection. I think it’s so beautiful that there are so many distinct rituals that surround the concept of love and adoration. The only rituals or traditions I can think of at the moment in American society is either Valentine’s Day or someone’s anniversary. But on the topic of birthday rituals, in Korean culture it’s typical that the person’s family will make them birthday soup. The next chance I get to interview SA, I would love her to expand on how she found out it was an Indian tradition and whether she would like to continue this tradition with her family in the future. Since it involves cake, did this tradition begin as the modern world developed or has cake replaced something else used in the past? Either way, what a beautiful and familial tradition.

Always shave your hair so it grows faster?

AGE

51

Date of performance

4/30/25

Language

English

Nationality

American

Occupation

Business Owner

Primary Language

Arabic

Residence

San Diego, CA

Ritual: Shaving a baby’s head once they grow hair so it can grow back faster and healthier

Context + Text: The individual is my father and has told me the story of when I first started to grow hair, they immediately cut it all off because they believed it would grow back faster and healthier. “You know, it seems a little odd, but hair rituals have been a part of my culture for so long, some parents combine this with letting their kids grow unibrows because they believe it’s bad luck to cut that”. He explained further that while it may not have ever proven to work, as much of his family including himself are all bald men, he said that it’s been such a long tradition there’s no way they stop it now. According to him, the ritual went as far back as his grandfather, and he tells me that it is something I have to do when I have kids. The ritual does not only apply to men, as even the baby girls are shaven bald so that their hair can be healthier. He believes it is a little funny that it only works on the women, as they always grow long healthy hair while the men are going bald by 30. 

Analysis: The idea of shaving hair so that it can grow back faster and thicker has been adopted and transformed in so many different ways. Growing up, I had always learned that if you shave your beard with a razor, it will lead to thicker and quicker hair growth. Some of my friends took it as far as to shave even when they had no beard, so they could ‘cut their skin’ and promote hair growth. There are no scientific reasons for any of these rituals, but if we can convince ourselves that it does work, then we will believe that it works. A large part in the belief for these hair rituals is especially due to the lack of science that was around for this individual when he was in Iraq. There was never anything to disprove the idea that a bald baby would have the best hair, so the ritual was continued for generations as no one wanted to be considered an outcast. While I may not believe that this ritual plays a true role in hair growth, I may fall into still participating in this with my future children simply due to the fear of breaking the chain. 

Miyeok Guk (Seaweed Soup)

Text:

Seaweed soup is traditionally eaten every year on someone’s birthday. Historically, seaweed soup was eaten by mothers who were about to give birth or just had given birth, as a way to boost their iron levels in their blood–seaweed has exceptional levels of iron. This would help the mother’s body heal or prepare for the birth, as at the time it would be dangerous, with high mortality rates.

Context:

The informant has eaten seaweed soup every year for their birthday; not only have they eaten it every year, they also learned how to make it from their mother.

Interpretation:

Because miyeok-guk is traditionally consumed by women after childbirth due to its rich nutrients like calcium, iodine, and iron, and belief that it helps with recover and milk production, the soup is now closely associated with mothers, maternal care, and birth. I assume that it is eaten on people’s birthdays(regardless of whether they are or plan to become mothers) as a way to honor the mothers who gave birth, recognizing the sacrifices that one’s parents–especially the mothers–make. Beyond its symbolic meaning, miyeok-guk is also a regular part of everyday meals due to its nutritional value and accessibility. This highlights Korea’s traditional food culture, which often views food as medicine—a concept rooted in hanbang, or traditional medicine that reflects the often health-oriented approach to food in Korean society.

On a personal note, for many Koreans, whether they live in Korea or are part of the diaspora, miyeok-guk can evoke a strong emotional pull for family, home, and heritage–many have grown up eating it together with their families–serving as a cultural anchor and linking personal identity with tradition.