Tag Archives: birthday traditions

Birthday Morning Tradition

Text: The informant’s parents wake them up with balloons and by singing the happy birthday song every year.

Context: The informant thought that everyone had this tradition when she was growing up. She learned that it was specific to her family at her 10th birthday sleepover party, where the informant’s friends woke her up that morning before her parents did, without singing or balloons. She refused to start the year off badly so she went back to sleep until her parents woke her up with the singing and balloons she was expecting. Additionally, her parents were the one’s who started this tradition for their family. They did not learn it from other generations. The informant has had this tradition every year since she can remember.

Analysis: Traditions like this, which are only between family, could be a way of creating a feeling of distinction from other families or people outside of the family. Since this family is the only one who knows the tradition, it is a way of expressing that they are an in-group. It is also a way of expressing love and affection from the parents to their child and making them feel special. Additionally for the informant, since she’s grown used to experiencing this tradition, not experiencing it on a given year is a sign that the year will be thrown off.

Beltane / Birthday Celebration

Text

“What Beltane actually is it’s like an old holiday, like Pagan but also Greek and Roman, it’s just an old holiday back when we were relying on crops cause it’s like the peak of spring, right in between the spring equinox and summer solstice. So what I do is I have a bowl of water that I place at the window at the start of the morning, and it collects the sun during the day and you put in your yellow flowers, or just any flowers you have to symbolize spring, and you can manifest over it. It’s an offering to the Mayday goddess, she’s not necessarily someone I follow, but I just like that it’s the same day as my birthday so I always do a little thing for it, a little offering. It’s more of like, a new beginnings thing, cause it’s actually the start of my next year of life. It’s sort of cleansing, I think in general spring is the time for that, new growth, birth and all that. A lot of people do fertility stuff, for me it’s just clean slate, new beginnings, on my birthday. I find it calming to have my own space, mediate, manifest, and go about my day.

Context

Y is a 19-year-old college student from Denver, Colorado. She started celebrating Beltane when she was in middle school, after she found out it was on the same day as her birthday. She doesn’t follow any pagan faith or celebrate any other Sabbats, so this celebration is both a Beltane ritual and more of a personal birthday ritual. She is actually of the Muslim faith, and says the ritual is technically a sin in her religion. She interprets the ritual and Beltane celebration more as a birthday cleansing ritual and as a quiet moment for her to calm herself before her birthday begins and reflect on what she wants in the year ahead.

Analysis

Beltane is one of the holidays that follows the agricultural calendar and also follows our life cycles, representing the cyclical calendar.. It happens on May 1st, during a time of great agricultural reproduction and the planting and growing of new crops. It also represents the time of budding youth in the life cycle. It’s similar to the saying of a May-December wedding, referring to when a young girl (in her May era) marries an old man (in his December era). May, spring, and Beltane are associated with new beginnings and growth in both the life cycle and agricultural cycle. This particular Beltane ritual especially represents new beginnings, as for Y it represents a new year of her life. The fact that she celebrates this holiday is very interesting because it illustrates an inter splicing of faiths. She is Muslim, and doesn’t usually celebrate the pagan holidays of the Sabbats. She chooses to celebrate this one because it’s on her birthday, which makes it also a birthday celebration. Birthday celebrations are one of the three big steps in life that are usually celebrated: birth, marriage, and death. Birthdays represent coming into a new identity, and are a time of liminality when a person is first becoming that new age. A lot of birthday celebrations are group celebrations, such as singing Happy Birthday together. Some people say that birthday parties started because the birthday, as a day of liminality, is a day when a person is more vulnerable to spirits, so groups would gather to protect the birthday person. Birthdays are also a time of private ritual though, many people have their own private rituals they do on the day to either reflect back on their life, or imagine the possibilities the new age will bring them. Y uses her birthday ritual to manifest good things into her life for the next year. This illustrates Dundes’ argument that the American worldview is very future centric. Instead of reflecting of the past, she looks forward to the future on her birthday. It is also an example of how American society looks at time linearly. Despite celebrating a festival like Beltane that uses cyclical time, her perspective of her birthday moving forward linearly is an example of her experiencing linear time. 

Birthday Tradition: Quinceañera

Nationality: Mexican
Age: 18
Occupation: Student

Text:

“Quinceañeras are birthday traditions whenever a girl turns 15 we celebrate. It’s our marking of you entering womanhood and what that is is once the day comes and you turn 15 you have this big party. Everyone gets together…the custom big dress. I think one of the bigger parts of it is you see like a father-daughter dance…it’s a way of showing that this is my little girl and she’s growing up now…she’s not my little girl now. It’s just a way of celebrating with your family…you know that milestone. At the biggest parties you have extended family…family you don’t see often is expected to come. My mom wasn’t able to have one but because of that like it’s really a big deal now that you do have one for your children…it’s expected…it’s tradition.”

Context:

One of my roommates is Mexican and she was sharing this birthday tradition many people in Mexico partake in. She had always known of this tradition since she was younger since it had been so prevalent in her community. For a long time she “hated the idea of having [her] own” as she “did not like the idea of being the center of attention.” That being said, she later learned that it was more about being with family and she “focused on doing it for her parents because [her] parents raised [her] and a big part of [her] quince was to thank her parents.”

Analysis:

I think this is a very interesting birthday tradition. In the United States, a sweet 16 is kind of similar to a quinceañera, but at the same time, there is a lot more history behind a quinceañera. This is the time in which a girl transitions from childhood to young womanhood. Quinceañeras are also most prevalent in Mexico, so by having one you are showing your heritage and connection to the Mexican community. The scale of quinceañeras is very large; all the planning and specific features the party includes. Oftentimes the whole family is expected to be there (extended family included) and festivities include dancing, food, and enjoying one another’s company.

British Boarding School 18th Birthday Hazing Tradition

Text:

DD: “At Malvern and at most boarding schools, you have all your meals in your house, which means you sit with your year group, but there’s people from [ages] 13 to 18 in that room. Whenever you turn 18, after lunch and the housemaster does all the announcements and leaves and goes to the private side, what the birthday boy would try and do is run out of the lunchroom, but what everyone else does—and it’s mainly the lower and upper sixth, like junior and senior years—they like, hold down the person and carry them out of the lunchroom and into the showers, which are in the basement. And we’re all wearing suits. And then they turn on the showers and you get thrown in the showers and you get completely soaking wet. And, also, as you’re doing this, if you resist at all, they beat the s— out of you.”

Context

The informant is a 21-year-old college student who was born in the Netherlands and attended a British boarding school, Malvern college, from ages 16 to 18. He experienced this tradition on his 18th birthday and similarly hazed other students on their birthdays. DD describes this ritual as “the highest form of endearment” that someone in this environment can experience. Since homophobia and oppressive gender ideals play such a big role in shaping social dynamics at all-boys boarding schools, he says that boys often use violence to express affection for one another. He says that this ritual acts as a sort of substitute for more common birthday traditions like singing happy birthday to someone or baking them a cake, which students may deride as “gay.”

            Moreover, despite the brutality and humiliation of this tradition, he argues that boys enjoy it because it’s an opportunity for them to be the center of attention and to be celebrated on their birthday.

Analysis:

This tradition exemplifies how transitional events are often ritualized and the tendency for people to behave in ways which would ordinarily be deemed unacceptable during liminal moments. In International Folkloristics, Arnold van Gennep describes rites of passage as “ceremonial patterns which accompany a passage from one situation to another or from one cosmic or social world to another” (Dundes 102). I am arguing that boarding school students hazing their peers on their 18th birthday is a rite of passage which marks the transition from childhood to adulthood, where the event acts as a sort of acknowledgement or confirmation of a student’s status as an adult. 

People feel inclined to engage in abnormal behaviors during instances of liminality because the paradoxical qualities of these moments make people think that the conventions which govern normal time are inapplicable. In general, birthdays are liminal because they cusp the end of one year and the beginning of another. With this ritual, another dimension of liminality applies to one’s 18th birthday, as this day cusps the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood. Further, one’s status as an adult is complicated by the student still being in secondary school, which is generally synonymous with childhood. One could argue that a possible intention of this rite of passage is to humble the person whose birthday it is by showing that despite having the nominal privileges of adulthood, they are still a part of the school. The inversion of social roles often occurs during liminal moments. Younger students hazing their older peers can be interpreted as flipping power dynamics.

Another feature of liminality in this ritual is it simultaneously being embraced as a cultural tradition and being seen as a form of rule breaking. Students wait for the housemaster to leave before carrying out the tradition, but this is merely a performance of secrecy which is part of the ritual. The practice is a kind of open secret, where school authorities know that it occurs and participate by turning a blind eye and not getting involved. Though such hazing would ordinarily be penalized, it is tolerated on 18th birthdays because the community understands the tradition as a longstanding rite of passage celebrating students’ transitions to adulthood.

Van Gennep, Arnold. “The Rites of Passage.” International Folkloristics: Classic Contributions by the Founders of Folklore, edited by Alan Dundes, Rowman & Littlefield, Lanham, 1999. 

Birthday Dirge Variation

Age: 19
Occupation: student
Performance Date: 3/01/22
Primary Language: English

This is a version of the Birthday Dirge adapted by the family of a close friend. They have been singing it for over two decades, and it is meant to be sung in a somber tone at a largo tempo. The lyrics are as follows:

Grief and sorrow fill the air

People dying everywhere

Happy birthday

Happy birthday

This variation of the birthday dirge is sung much slower than other, more popular renditions of the piece. The family also sings it after the traditional happy birthday song, with the parents leading the pace. This song order really emphasizes the juxtaposition between the dirge, which talks of gloom and despair, and the upbeat celebratory song, and this difference becomes very comical. Though other renditions of the birthday dirge include these lines individually, they are not sung together. As it stands, this is a modification of the song’s most popular versions.


They also sing this song for people outside their family, if they are fortunate enough to spend their birthday week within the family’s home. It is often shocking for people hearing the song for the first time, but it soon becomes a part of the birthday celebration that others start looking forward to. I personally was very bewildered when I first witnessed the birthday dirge performance, as I had never heard of people intentionally speaking of death and sorrow during a birthday. However, I grew to enjoy it and I even participate in singing the dirge when I get the chance.

For alternate versions of the birthday dirge, see:

Brendan, and Brendan. “The Birthday Dirge.” ThereItIs.org, 12 May 2015, https://thereitis.org/the-birthday-dirge/.