Category Archives: Adulthood

Coming-of-age, courtship, marriage, weddings

First Communion

Age: 21

Text:
“For my First Communion, we had to wear these pretty white dresses, and I actually wore my mom’s from when she got her First Communion. At that point, it was over 30 years old. We all went to the church, and I was with all my friends from elementary school. I think we were in first grade at the time, and we received our 1st communion. I felt so cute. My mom let me pick out my headband from a really cute First Communion store. And then we went to dinner and we saw Lady Gaga, and it was the best day ever.”

Context:
A catholic girl from NYC who had her First Communion, a coming of age ritual in Catholicism, in the first grade.

Analysis:
Her description of her First Communion demonstrates passing of tradition, the foundation of folklore. This coming of age event that she was excited to experience because it represented a huge milestone in her life. By wearing the same dress her mother did during her First Communion, she was able to connect with her and the celebration even deeper.

Bat Mitzvah

Age: 21

Text: “In the Jewish religion, the really religious people, Orthodox, celebrate it differently. In those cases, the girls don’t actually have Bat Mitzvahs because they’re technically not supposed to read the Torah. But I did because my family’s more reformed. So I obviously had a Bat Mitzvah, and I thought it was the biggest deal ever at the time. It obviously still is, but I thought it was the biggest deal. There was a lot of preparation before because I had to learn like five passages from the Torah and actually learn how to read it. In the Torah it’s hard to read because there’s no accents or anything so you kind of have to know what you’re saying to be able to read it. But it was really, really fun. And then after my service, I had a party, and it was really fun.”

Context: A Jewish girl from Miami. She had her Bat Mitzvah when she was 12, which is a coming of age ritual in Judaism. The Bat Mitzvah is a celebration and transition of girlhood into adulthood. The boy equivalent is a Bar Mitzvah.

Analysis: It was interesting to hear the difference between her Bat Mitzvah and an Orthodox Bar Mitzvahs, especially that Bat Mitzvahs actually don’t exist for Orthodox Jews due to their beliefs. Her Bat Mitzvah is remembered as a very big deal, which is representative of the importance of this ritual. She was excited for this coming-of-age ritual, studied and practiced for it, and completed it with a celebration. She will pass down this religious tradition to her children, as her parents did to her.

First Communion

Age: 22

Text:
“At my First Communion, they took us up to the practice ceremony with all of our parents upstairs in the church. We had to practice eating the communion, representing the body of christ, and drinking the wine, representing the blood of christ, and we drank the wine. I remember saying, this is so gross really loudly, and my parents got so mad at me. The actual day was really fun. We got to wear our dresses and take pictures outside the church. It meant that I was growing up, and it was a really important milestone for my religion.

Context:
A Catholic girl from Phoenix discussing her First Communion, a coming of age ritual in Catholicism, and what it meant to her.

Analysis:
Her First Communion Served as a signifying moment in her religion, marking the moment that she’s growing up. It took preparation and practice because of how significant it is. She remembers the act vividly, specifically noting that wearing a pretty dress was an exciting part of the event. It’s also interesting how children remember moments of stress, even over moments of pure excitement.

The Shotgun

Age: 21

Collected 4/22/2026

Context:

My roommate, who is of Irish-American descent, told me the story of when he first went shooting. We met in high school and have been friends for about 8 years now. He told me in our apartment kitchen after asking about his family traditions.

Text:

His family first immigrated to New York in the 1800s. About a century later, he told me that his great-grandpa bought a “classic Baretta double-barreled shotgun like you’d see in Red Dead” for hunting ducks in Maryland. Nowadays, my roommate and his dad often go hunting in the woods in Montana, and he fondly remembers that core memory with his dad of when he first learned to shoot.

My roommate told me that back when he was 15, his dad took him to a gun range in Lake Piru, California, to learn how to shoot. The event wasn’t specifically on his birthday or any particular day, as he can remember. But it was sometime soon after he turned 15. In his family, “each male for the last 3 generations has learned to shoot the same double-barreled shotgun.” The shotgun is a family heirloom that he suspects his Irish immigrant great-great-grandfather bought, for hunting and it’s been passed down steadily from father to son.

While at the range, his dad started with gun safety. Essentially, just the basics, like “don’t aim it at people or things you don’t wanna shoot.” He also learned to respect the weapon, “don’t treat it like a toy,” and not to throw it around or handle it roughly. As far as he knows, the shotgun has been largely kept in good condition, and most, if not all, of the parts are original. The wood stock and grip are lacquered with oils to keep it clean and in good condition. When it finally came time to shoot, his father showed him how to stand and helped him aim. When he pulled the trigger, the gun went off, but he found out that it was loaded with a blank. He told me that he and his dad first shot a blank to get a feel for the recoil.

After handling the recoil, he began to shoot at the clay pigeons launched in the air at the range. He said his dad wanted to teach him how to hunt, so moving targets were a great way to get into it. After shooting, he explained that his dad showed him how to clean and take care of the gun. Later, when he turned 18, he was allowed to have his own gun under different state laws. He hasn’t shot the shotgun since; it serves as a ceremonial piece.

I asked him if there was a specific time or moment when he learned, but he can’t remember. But he did say it was a moment when he started to feel more grown up. He told me that his sister also learned how to shoot. He couldn’t say whether she got the exact same treatment. But their father took her to a local range and taught her to shoot the same shotgun.

I asked if he would continue the tradition. He told me “that he plans to “of- course man.” The shotgun will be passed to him and he plans to pass it to his kids when they’re born and ready. He feels that the passing of the shotgun and the instruction in how to shoot are a metaphor for life. He and his family “value being responsible and self-sufficient.” He said it felt pretty special to be the fifth in his family to hold and shoot the gun. As the sole male child and heir to the family name, he felt it was a really special moment to step into the shoes that his family had left. To fulfill expectations and continue the legacy.

Analysis:

This was a cool story to hear; my roommate hadn’t told me about it before, and I’ve known him for around 8 years now. It was a pretty nice story and makes sense because his family has a strong military background dating back 3 generations. Shooting, hunting, gun safety, and responsibility are all very important to him and to his family.

I think the ritual serves three main functions besides bonding. The first and more obvious is that the ritual serves as a lesson in gun safety. It’s a father teaching his son how to properly hold and shoot a weapon. He learned discipline and responsibility, and it made him interested in the responsible use of weapons at a young age. It teaches real safety skills for young people and taught him the power and potential danger of weapons.

I think an equally important purpose for this event is to serve as a passing of the family legacy. Family is a big thing for him; he cares a lot about that lineage and is proud of where he comes from. The fact that the same gun has been used by all the males in his family says a lot. It is their legacy, their transition into adulthood, and their father passed that legacy to him so he could learn what it means to be a male in their family. His sister also learned and got the same experience. But my roommate said she isn’t as interested in the legacy, shooting, or the shotgun as he is. Also, he will inherit the weapon, not his sister. By learning with that gun, he is an active participant in that tradition and now a part of that shared family history. He remarked that it felt really special to him to be part of that. I asked him, and he explained that he did have a connection to that story. But for him, the most important thing it did for him was teach him responsibility.

The gun itself is also a physical representation of that legacy. It has existed for over a century and serves as a marker of his family. Sure, other guns exist, but this is his family’s gun. He adds meaning to it by using it, continuing that legacy, and being interested in teaching his children how to shoot that gun.

A final, deeper meaning is that the lesson served as a rite of passage for young men in his family. In a way, it created a liminal space to help facilitate the transition of children to young men. The lessons it taught him about weapon safety carry over to real life. Being disciplined, respectful, self-sufficient, and responsible are all qualities that he holds dear. He and I agree that those values probably stem from the family’s deep military history. Those are all imparted to him through that event.

It’s also interesting to me that I just found out about this. I knew he knew how to shoot, but I didn’t know it was such a significant family tradition. I know a lot about him since we’ve known each other for 8 years, but that story seems to be sacred and personal. It’s also funny because at first glance, my friend doesn’t look like someone who would have traditions. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood in what our other roommate would call a “boring” neighborhood. But this just showed me how much folklore and culture are lying just under the surface. I’ve known him for so long, but all I had to do was ask, and it seemed there was more to my friend that I hadn’t learned.

It also challenges my pre-existing notion that folklore is foreign or unique to a specific identity. Folklore is all around us; we just forget to pay attention because it’s “normal” or we’re used to it. I mean, this is a dude who’s got red, white, and blue coursing through his veins, and yet he has some great traditions. This is just a great reminder that folklore is often studied from a distance because the stuff close to us blends so well into our daily lives.

Senior Skip Day

Age: 21

Text
“Yeah so every year, I think this is a pretty widely common thing in high schools in like America but like when you’re a senior there will be a day where everybody skips class and it’s called senior skip day. For us, like the high school I went to, it’s pretty much become a tradition where every year the senior class will like meet up and we’ll drink and pregame and all that and then all of us will go to the beach and like hang out for the day. Just like everybody in the class or like anybody that wants to go so like it’s open to everyone and I mean like everybody gets into it because it’s the last few like moments you’re sharing as a group you know. So, yeah, that’s one of the more special traditions I’d say from my high school.”

Context
AV says that senior skip day is a very common and well known tradition among high school seniors in America, and notes that all his friends in college, his siblings, and his high school friends from other schools participated in their own senior skip days at their respective high schools. AV says that at his high school, their specific tradition of drinking and going to the beach as a large group was well known from year to year and nobody really deviated from it. He doesn’t know when it started, but he says a few years later, kids are still doing it now and everybody gets into it.

Analysis
Senior skip day is a piece of customary folklore, a yearly tradition that is widespread throughout American high schools, yet is given its own unique spin by each specific school and student body. It’s a great example of how school lore passes horizontally through students rather than vertically from the institution. It’s a tradition that plays on liminality and communitas, as normal school rules are void (and the school doesn’t mind) and the entire student body is together in experiencing this tradition. For AV’s school specifically, skip day has almost become a festival that marks the end of high school and the social bonds as a graduating class, and according to Santino, intertwines the playfulness of festivals while still marking that transition past high school. Skip day is also a great example of how lore passes down as even though it’s not an official tradition of the school, the same event has been and will continue to be passed from senior class to senior class.