Tag Archives: Family tradition

Tomb Sweeping Day: Annual Family Gravesite Ritual

Nationality: American / Taiwanese
Language(s) spoken: Chinese Mandarin, English
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA / Taipei, Taiwan

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Every year, MC and their family go to visit their paternal grandfather’s grave, usually on his birthday and on a holiday in April called Qing ming jie. The whole family goes, including MC, their parents, their siblings, their grandma, their cousins, etc. First, the family enters a main building, where there’s a plaque with their grandpa’s name and statues of the gods. The family pays their respects to both, praying for peace and protection. They light incense and leave offerings, sometimes for the gods and sometimes for the family members. There are also tables where you can leave flowers. Then, they go up a mountain to visit the gravesite. It’s located in a building eventually meant to hold the remains of everyone in their family. Inside, they clean the grave of MC’s grandpa, pray, make offerings, and leave fruit, wine, and flowers, as well as burn incense. Then, they sit together at a pavilion, talk, and eat food. After that, they read out a poetic prayer three times in front of a pot that represents the earth god. Then they go speak to their grandpa in their head, sharing whatever they like, and ask them for protection and good fortune.

Context

MC has been participating in this tradition for as long as they can remember. For them, it’s not extremely sad, as they never knew their grandpa. It is a bit sad, though, because they know their dad and grandma are really sad during this tradition. But it’s also something to look forward to. MC gets to enjoy nice food and spend time with their cousins, which is fun. They think it’s really cool that they get to connect with their grandpa even though they never met him. They described the offerings for their grandpa as a kind of care package for him; he can get those things even in the afterlife.

Analysis

This family (and cultural) tradition reminds me of Valk’s article “Ghostly Possession and Real Estate,” especially its description of what ghosts mean to people. In it, he talks about how adults like “friendly ghost” stories in which people in the afterlife can help those still alive or connect with them in some way. MC’s family tradition isn’t necessarily about ghosts, but it undoubtedly represents a desire to connect with those who have passed on. By offering up food, wine, and flowers to their deceased relative, MC’s family shows their belief that those no longer alive can still interact with them and their lives. This cultural tradition also represents a value of respect for the dead. By visiting their relative, paying their respects, and cleaning his grave multiple times a year, MC’s family shows that they still love and care for MC’s grandpa, even though he’s no longer with them. Finally, this tradition shows an immense value of family. The fact that everyone in MC’s family is buried in the same gravesite house shows that they want to be together even after death, and the way that their deceased grandfather brings together all alive family members further demonstrates dedication to staying close. Overall, this tradition represents a belief in the spirit world, as well as strong family ties.

Family Pre-Rodeo Tradition

Nationality: American
Primary language: English
Age: 58
Occupation: Insurance salesman
Residence: Mercer Island, WA

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MD’s father was a team roper (a rodeo rider on a horse who works in a team to rope a bull). Every year, in order to prep for the Clovis Rodeo, MD and his brothers helped their dad to practice roping by building a fake bull. They attached a bull’s skull to a sawhorse so that their dad could practice roping it. They also tried to rope, but weren’t as successful. MD’s dad’s quarter horse was named Shorty. MD and his brothers helped to get him ready by walking him and taking him into town. In town, Shorty always needed to stop for a drink. MD’s dad always went into Monty’s Liquor Store and got Dr. Pepper. He would drink half of it and give the other half to Shorty.

Context

MD participated in these pre-rodeo traditions with his family every year from when he was 4 to when he was 8 years old. Participating in these traditions was super fun because it made MD feel like a cowboy. They also made him proud of his dad, who really was a cowboy.

Analysis

These annual traditions are telling of MD’s family background and the environment that he grew up in. MD’s father probably asked his sons for help prepping Shorty, building the practice bull, etc. because he didn’t have the funds for ranch hands to do the same things. Farm work is not often an occupation for the wealthy, but rodeos rely on knowledge and skills that only farmers have, such as animal-handling, horseback riding, specific strength exercises, etc. The rodeo as a whole can be interpreted as a celebration of a farming community and their unique skills, similar to the firefighting celebrations discussed in Chapter 4 of Folk Groups and Folklore Genres: An Introduction. I’m also interested in the fact that MD’s father turned this work into games for his kids. They weren’t just helping him prep for the rodeo; they got to practice roping. They weren’t just walking Shorty into town; they were looking forward to a fun show of the horse drinking Dr. Pepper. The inclusion of children in MD’s father’s traditions, especially the catering of these traditions to the play space, demonstrates a value of respect, understanding, and community. MD’s father wanted his children to enjoy rodeoing and the culture surrounding it, perhaps so that they might partake in it in the future. This family pre-rodeo tradition highlights an interesting intersection between a community tradition (the rodeo) and intimate family traditions surrounding it. Larger area traditions and values often affect individual families in this way, such as in Cashman’s exploration of nationalism in rural Ireland. All of Ireland celebrates nationalism, but families in rural Ireland each celebrate in different smaller ways (statues, certain routes home, etc.).

New Year’s Eve Tradition

Nationality: American
Primary language: English
Age: 49
Occupation: Stay-at-home mom
Residence: Mercer Island, WA

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Each year on New Year’s Eve, one minute before midnight, SD and her family would all grab wooden spoons and pots and pans. They would go outside on their deck and, at midnight, began to bang the spoons on the pots and pans loudly. As they did this, they shouted “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” very loudly. They did this for around one minute before going inside.

Context

SD first remembers participating in this tradition with her father, mother, and siblings when she was about 7. Her father taught this to her and she believes it’s something he learned from his mother or grandmother. SD has perpetuated this tradition and now does it each year with her husband and son. She’s not sure what this tradition means. She finds it really funny and it brings her joy because it’s super obnoxious to neighbors, but you kind of have to laugh.

Analysis

This family tradition literally rings in the New Year. I think that this tradition serves as a way to celebrate the beginning of the new year with energy and joy, perhaps something which the participants wish to bring with them into the next year. This tradition feels as if it belongs in the “play space” spoken about in Chapter 5 of Oring’s Folk Groups and Folklore Genres: An Introduction. The author of this chapter, Jay Mechling, notes that the play space allows people to do and say things they wouldn’t normally be able to in everyday society (98). I would argue that the minutes between the old year and the new year are very much a “liminal space,” one in which tons of different folk groups are participating in different traditions. The laws of reality/society sometimes don’t feel as if they apply in liminal spaces, giving them special qualities. While loud screaming and banging pots and pans would normally be grounds for a noise complaint, it isn’t in the liminal space of New Year’s Eve. This family tradition flaunts this, playing with social boundaries in a new way. Additionally, since it is so loud, it invites others to join in the celebration. While other family traditions can be very private and personal, SD’s is loud and in-your-face. I believe this may be a way of extending the joy and silliness of the tradition to others, inviting neighbors and everyone who can hear to have some of the good energy the tradition sends out. This belief is further reinforced by the cry, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”, which is directed at those all around.

Christmas Ornament Tradition

Nationality: American
Primary language: English
Age: 18-22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA

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Before Christmas every year, each person in EB’s immediate family buys an ornament that represents their year. For example, when she graduated high school, her ornament was a graduation cap. There was one year where she played soccer all year, so she got a soccer themed ornament. After EB and her family decorate the Christmas tree, they all get their new ornaments and hang them together as a family.

Context

EB isn’t sure when her family started this tradition, but knows her parents have a wedding ornament to represent the year they got married. She thinks this might be the start of it, but it’s possible that her mom did this with her family before that. EB believes that the ornaments represent the passage of time. The tradition makes her happy and maybe a little nostalgic, especially when she looks at ornaments from when she was young (simpler times). EB thinks that having all the ornaments on the tree together seems to represent their collective experience as a family and what they’ve gone through together. It’s a tree that celebrates accomplishments and what they’ve done with their lives so far. Doing this together shows that they go through life together as a family and are celebrating each other’s accomplishments.

Analysis

I support EB’s analysis of her family’s tradition, especially in regards to the passage of time. “Rites of passage” and change are important in all communities, and one extremely common instance of this is the transition into a new year. Christmas is the last major holiday for families to come together before New Year’s Eve, and as such, it offers up an opportunity for reflection on the year. Boiling all of one’s experiences down into a single object–in this case an ornament–can help people quantify their experiences, understand them, and represent them. For example, in our in-class exercise where everyone brought a tourist object, many people expressed the object’s importance in terms of how it reminded them of a happy trip/experience. In the same way, EB’s family’s ornaments serve this purpose, but instead of reminding them of one trip, they remind them of a whole year! Furthermore, as EB mentioned, this exercise brings them together as a family unit. They’re all living their own years, but they can come together and celebrate them as a whole by partaking in this tradition together. This reemphasizes the importance of their folk group (a family unit) while still celebrating individual experience and change.

Family Christmas Cookie Making

Main Piece

“Every Christmas, our house becomes a ‘candy factory’ – at some point when I was growing up, my mom found recipes for chocolate fudge, peanut butter toffee fudge, and peppermint bark, tweaked some of them so they didn’t have quite as many sticks of butter and cups of sugar, and started making them to give to neighbors and family. My dad started bringing them to work to give to his coworkers too, and now it’s something everyone looks forward to getting from us each year. My brother and I started helping make them pretty early on, at least since I was in eighth grade, and it’s become a key Christmas tradition – responsibility, even – to share with our mom every year.”

Interpretation

Informant’s Interpretation: This tradition holds primary relevance to informant as a family tradition. She likes to spend the time with her mom, but notes that since the whole thing puts a stress on her mom, helping can sometimes “feel more like a duty than a fun cozy Christmas tradition.” However, she notes that she still heavily associates this with how her family celebrates Christmas and thus enjoys it.

Personal Interpretation: I find this to be a classic example of a family Christmas tradition–particularly so because other families recognize it as such and come to enforce the idea of the tradition from a slightly-external perspective. While associated with a religious holiday, I don’t see any particular direct connection to Christian tradition other than perhaps the origins of the types of cookies. That said, it feels pretty removed from any religious context and has more to do with the time of year and family-centric association than anything else.

Background

Informant is a 21 year old college student raised in Rancho Bernardo, California. She is female-presenting, white, and of European descent.