Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

Great Grandma’s Chair

Age: 72

Age: 19

Text:

“In our family, we have unassigned assigned seats for dinner. After my mother, Elizabeth, passed away in the house, we would keep that seat at the table empty out of habit. Well, one day, about a year after her death, we had a guest over and so I offered my seat up to the guest. I would sit in my mother’s seat. When I sat down, I felt an immense weight on my shoulders and an overwhelming feeling of sadness. It only left me once I left the chair. I ended up having to sit at a folding chair and the chair remained empty. Since then, I do not let anyone sit in that seat as it’s her chair. Even today when I am eating at the table, out of the corner of her eye it can look like someone is sitting in the seat. I believe it is her.”

Context:

This was told to the informant by his grandmother, about his great-grandmother. It was told on Thanksgiving at family dinner. The story itself took place roughly 10 years ago.

Analysis:

In this story, a grandmother speaks about her late mother to her grandchild to explain why a seat is kept at the dinner table for someone who has died. It is a sign of respect to the dead, as well as slight fear against change. This story sparks the debate of if there is truly a ghost or if grief itself can manifest into a spiritual form. The story functions as a warning against erasing past relatives, as well as a loving tale that past relatives never actually leave the family, even in the afterlife.

Christmas Songs

Age: 19
Occupation: Student

Context: “I grew up in a big Christmas family. We went to church, decorated every part of the house, and sang every Christmas song there was. Singing wasn’t just for caroling; it happened throughout the season. Every year, the same songs, the same excitement. My parents were especially big on the ‘magic’ of it. They were really believed in ‘the magic of Christmas’ and really believed that it brought everyone closer together. I personally don’t know about that but I think it’s nice that even just for a little bit or just one day, everyone gets even closer for the holidays. There’s one song specifically called Must Be Santa, and it was so annoying, but we used to sing it at church every year.”

Analysis: Singing Christmas songs is a ritual that blends both religious and secular traditions. In families like Anne’s, it reinforces seasonal joy, community belonging, and shared memory. A song like Must Be Santa, though often seen as lighthearted or even annoying, takes on symbolic importance through repetition; especially in a church setting where it bridges sacred and playful elements. The act of singing together, becomes an expression of belief, nostalgia, and identity. It binds participants to cultural rhythms and holiday expectations. Even “annoying” songs serve as touchstones of collective memory, especially when tied to family or religious routines.

Protect My Grandchildren Ritual

Age: 20

Text: This practice comes from the person’s grandmother’s side of the family. The ritual blends cultural traditions with personal spirituality and takes a modern tweak of a ritual that was rooted from an official Baha’i ritual.

Context: “Ever since I was a child, whenever we visited my grandmother, she would burn incense. It wasn’t for any special celebration or event; she just did it whenever we came over. She’s Persian and has practiced the Baha’i faith most of her life, but this incense thing wasn’t strictly Baha’i. I see it more of a cultural and familial tradition. She always said it was to protect us from demons, especially the kids. When I first saw this happen, I just never really understood this practice; mostly because when I was a kid, it was just literally smoke. But after growing up, I really started to appreciate the gesture and protection of my grandmother.”

Interpretation: Burning incense as a protective act is a tradition present in many other cultures. In Persian households, this practice often blends Zoroastrian or folk beliefs with newer religions like the Baha’i faith. In this case, it functions as a quiet, domestic ritual of care, centered on shielding children from unseen harms. Though not explicitly religious, it holds a strong spiritual meaning and demonstrates how rituals can coexist alongside formal religion as intergenerational protection.

Irish Funerary Traditions in an American Family

Age: 19

Text:

Hello A, do you have any end-of-life celebrations or just traditions that your family does? I understand you have something for your mom’s side.

Hi, yes.  Good afternoon. So on my mom’s side, for a traditional ceremony, we call it celebrations of life, a tradition for us to be cremated and then, after the play, the bagpipes at the funeral, followed by family-given obituaries and the like. You know the normal stuff. Then your ashes are usually scattered around a place that you are quite fond of, usually, for my family, it’s somewhere around the water. But yes, Ben, thank you for your interview time. 

Would you like this to happen to you at the end of your life, or is it significant to you? I mean, have you seen multiple funerals where this happens?

Yes, it’s quite typical for where I’m from, and especially within my family. I want this when I pass: to be cremated and have the bagpipes played and have my ashes scattered in the ocean.  So, of course.

Do you know where this tradition allegedly came from or when it started in your family?

My greatest hunch is that it came from when my family was residing in Galeium, Ireland. It goes along with the bagpipes and also close connections to the sea. They are very much a seafaring people from that part of the Western coast of Ireland. Thank you.

Context:

End of life celebrations involving the scattering of ones ashes are a traditional form of cremation/celebration from Norse and Gaelic cultures. The practices following Americans who immigrated to the US over 150 years ago (in the case of A’s family) show just how enduring many of these practices are. A also discusses the strong connection to the sea that many families who leave proximally to it in the northeast have. These enduring connections are reminiscent of the traditions of their Irish forefathers, who also felt a spiritual connection to the sea, the same reason that their end-of-life celebrations occurred there.

My interpretation:

These are traditions that are passed down from person to person in these families. It is in major life events that we return most to our traditions and the perceived heritage that we link ownership to, and so it makes sense that these traditions have passed from person to person in these settings. The connection that Alex made to his Irish ancestry is interesting, as it also displays that he is aware of where his family is allegedly from inside of Ireland. Americans, especially those of European ancestry, often seem to wish to find some understanding of which part of that continent their family’s blood originates from, mostly because Americans of European descent in the US have little to no ethnic identity.

Oji (Kola Nut)

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Object:
Oji (Kola Nut) – “Symbol of Hospitality and Unity”

Context:
The informant, I, remembers her father often asking her to bring the Oji to the table when guests were coming over. This was a tradition in their family, especially for important visits. She says her father would break the Oji and offer pieces to the guests as a sign of welcome and respect. This happened during family gatherings or when visitors from outside their community arrived.

Analysis:
The Oji holds deep cultural significance in Igbo society, representing hospitality, unity, and respect for guests. The act of breaking the Oji is not just about sharing food, but about symbolically breaking down barriers and creating a bond between host and guest. The ceremonial act reinforces the value of community and the importance of acknowledging and honoring those who visit. The passing down of this practice within families highlights the role of tradition in maintaining cultural ties and fostering a sense of belonging. Through this ritual, the Oji serves as a powerful reminder of the communal values and customs that are central to Igbo identity.