Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

Ritual – Japan

Nationality: Japanese-American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Cypress, CA
Performance Date: April 28, 2008
Primary Language: English

Wedding ritual

Japanese House-Warming ritual

To welcome people into their new homes, Dana said her Japanese family prepares and eats fish eggs with rice with the new house-owners. For new couples, the fish eggs symbolize good luck for a baby to come.

Dana doesn’t enjoy eating fish eggs but she has just grown up around this ritual, so she is used to it.

The American house-warming tradition is not so specific and ritualistic. Instead, people throw “house-warming” parties upon moving into a new residence. At these parties, guests sometimes bring a gift for the house or the host. There aren’t any traditions or planned events.

Personally, I would not like to be welcomed into my house with fish eggs. A simple wish for good luck is enough. I would rather acquaint my friends and family with a party.

Tradition/Ritual – Jewish

Nationality: American
Age: 56
Occupation: Doctor
Residence: Brooklyn, NY
Performance Date: March 21, 2008
Primary Language: English

Holiday Traditions/ Coming-of-Age Rituals

Bar Mitzvah – Jewish

My dad, who is Jewish, had his bar mitzvah when he turned 13 in Brooklyn, New York. He said it was held in a big hall, where there was a dais, or a stage, where he sat with this friends. The actual ceremony, however, happened in a synagogue.

He said he had to remember long passages in Hebrew and recite them, singing, from memory. This was the most difficult part, according to him. On the script were written special codes that indicated how the inflection was for that part. These codes got quite complicated, required a lot of practice. To my dad, it was a “big deal” learning them, and was especially difficult because he, and most of the boys his age, didn’t know Hebrew. The particular passage depended on when the bar mitzvah boy was born.

At the right time, he had to present the passage in front of the whole congregation in the synagogue. My dad recalled a vivid memory of this moment. He said, “The rabbi had very bad breath, so I would turn away and smile at the audience.” After this uncomfortable moment, however, the big reception is held, almost like a wedding—with food and dancing.

Typically, a bar mitzvah includes a band and a singer. My dad said there would always be “one of those circle dances and usually the bar mitzvah boy would be in the middle.”  He also got presents, usually cash, from friends and family, which the parents “usually used to help defray the cost” of the celebration.

In Jewish tradition, a boy becomes a man at 13. Girls have bat-mitzvahs at this age, although when my dad was growing up, it was not very typical for girls to do so. My dad brushed this off as the characteristic “male chauvinism” of the time. He also mentioned that he didn’t come from orthodox community.

A common American holiday that is comparable to the bar mitzvah is the Sweet Sixteen. However, it is much less ritualized and not exactly recognized as a coming-of-age celebration as much as it’s considered a competition for superfluous extravagance (probably influenced by MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen”).

With the difficult passages and other trials a boy or girl must overcome at a bar/bat mitzvah, it appears the child must prove him/herself before being accepting into adulthood. This concept is not at all present in the general American culture. For those who don’t observe any specific coming-of-age traditions, there are no obstacles or rituals presented. In fact, it isn’t even clear what age qualifies as adulthood. Is it the age when a girl begins to menstruate? Is it at 16, when a kid is allowed to drive, and therefore be independent? Is it 18, the law-determined age of (modified) adulthood? Or, is it 21, when a person finally gains all rights of an adult?

This confused notion of adulthood is probably why there are no traditional celebrations like bar mitzvahs in the general American culture. However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it doesn’t force a person to grow up before he or she is ready. After all, in today’s society, 13 is incredibly young for a boy to be deemed a man.

Tradition

Nationality: Mexican-American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Santa MAria, CA
Performance Date: April 28, 2008
Primary Language: English

Holiday Tradition

Easter Confetti Eggs

Every year, a few months before Easter, Antonio and his family start saving up eggs. They crack the tops and make a nickel-sized hole through which they drain the egg, leaving the shell intact. After rinsing them out and letting them dry, they are ready to be dyed.

They dye and decorate the shells and then fill them up with confetti, after which the glue shut the hole. On Easter, they hide the eggs so the kids of the family can go on Easter egg hunts. When the eggs are found, the discoverer finds a victim and cracks an egg on his or her head. The result is confetti—everywhere.

Especially cruel Easter-eggers will fill their eggs with glitter, which leaves residue over everything for weeks and sometimes months. Antonio finds this tradition fun and familiar, since he has been doing it for as long as he can remember.

This Easter egg tradition differs from what I am used to. The Easter eggs I used to hunt were plastic and filled with candy. I like how it combines the creativity of egg decorating with the thrill of the hunt and a humorous finale.

Today, Easter is just like all other commercial holidays. My family usually goes on a shopping spree for plastic eggs, chocolate bunnies, and bags of candy or marshmallow Peeps. After my sister and I opened these gifts, Easter was as good as done.

Antonio’s cost-effective, creative tradition brings the whole family together for months ahead of time in a group effort to prepare for Easter. When the day comes, they spend hours together searching for eggs and smashing them over each others’ heads, which undoubtedly keeps them talking for days. When a holiday like Easter starts to lose its original purpose, it should at least retain its sense of family unity and cheerfulness.

Tradition – Kazakhstan

Nationality: Kazakh
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2, 2008
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English, Japanese

It is the duty of a dead man’s brother to marry his brother’s widowed wife.

Saltah told me that this was the custom in Kazakhstan in the past. When I asked if it still happens, she told me that it is not usual, but it does still sometimes happen. Also, she added that men used to marry multiple wives in Kazakhstan—as long as they could afford to support them all. Although this is not legal anymore, Saltah said she heard of instances where people do this anyway. According to her, the wives say that as long as they are comfortably supported and given separate houses, they are fine with the traditional arrangement.

I think that these traditions together show a much more traditional attitude toward marriage, as opposed to the contemporary associations of marriage and love. Rather than a vehicle for love, these customs seem to view marriage as partnerships to ensure financial and filial stability. The traditional gender roles are clearly emphasized over any notion of love. The duty of a husband is not to love his wife, but to food on the table. A sympathetic brother would want to make sure his brother’s wife is well taken care of; under these understandings of marriage, to marry the widow would be an ideal way to provide for her. Because there is little association between marriage and love, this does not bring about issues of jealousy the way a comparable relationship might in the US. This would also explain why the multiple wives did not mind the polygamy. Loyalty and affection are secondary, perhaps of little meaning to them. As long as the husband can fulfill his duty as breadwinner for all of the wives, they are satisfied. And because he can fulfill his duties as a husband to a greater degree than most men, it would make sense that he should receive a higher than average proportion of benefits afforded by the wives’ traditional role: more offspring.

Holiday – Persian

Nationality: Iranian-American
Age: 53
Occupation: Executive
Residence: Calabasas, CA
Performance Date: April 22, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Farsi

“Nowruz” – Persian New Year

“Nowruz (meaning “New Day” in Farsi) is the Iranian New Year. It falls on the first day of Spring (around March 21st) which is also the Spring Equinox, one of only two days in a year when the length of day and night are almost equal.  It celebrates the rebirth of nature in spring when animals and plants start a new life or wake up from their inactivity during the winter months.

The first recorded celebration of Nowruz dates back to over 2500 years ago. Iran at that time was called Persia, which is one of the oldest civilizations of the world.  During that time, Persian Kings celebrated the return of spring in their lavish palace called Persepolis near the city of Shiraz, in the middle of the today’s Iran. Persepolis was the Capital of Persian Empire. All the decisions about governing the vast Persian Empire territory were made there. On Nowruz, the kings would receive a long list of diplomats, government officials and even ordinary citizens in his palace. On these occasions, a variety of gifts were exchanged. The religion of ancient Persians at the time was Zoroastrianism. They were strong believers in “Human Rights”, being “Positive”, “Good” and “Honest”. Their religious motto was, “Good Thoughts, Good Deeds and Good Words.” Celebrating Nowruz for them meant letting into their homes all that is “Good,” “Positive” and “Happy” and getting rid of all things “Negative.” This is still true for all Iranians today no matter where they live.

Nowruz festivities begin long before the first day of spring. It starts with a “Fire Festival” called “Chahar Shanbeh Soori” (meaning “Wednesday Party”) on the night before the last Wednesday of the year and ends with an all-day picnic party with family and friends on the 13th day of spring called, “Sizdeh Bedar” (meaning “Being Outdoor on the 13th”). Preparation for celebrating Nowruz starts quite early. During the weeks leading to spring, the families start a major house-cleaning job. We get rid of old clothes and household things we no longer use. We buy new clothing and shoes for each family member to start the year looking the best we can. We also set up a ceremonial table called “Haft Seen” (meaning “Seven Dishes”). We arrange seven items in seven separate dishes that are believed to bring to our home good fortune and good health. The seven dishes are chosen for what they symbolize. They all start with the letter “S”. The original letter was “SH” and later was changed to “S” after Iranians converted to Islam. The number of “Seven” has long been considered a symbol of good luck and special value in Iranian culture. The dishes are selected from the following list:

1. Sabzeh: Sprouted Grains, symbolizing “Growth”

2. Samanoo:  A sweet type of Porridge-like dish, symbolizing “Strength”

3. Seer: Garlic, symbolizing “Good Health” and “Remedy”

4. Seeb: Apple , symbolizing “Good Health”

5. Senjed: A fruit of Lotus, symbolizing “Love”

6. Sekeh:  Gold Coin, symbolizing “Wealth”

7. Serkeh: Vinegar, symbolizing “Age” and “Patience”

[This was substituted for “Sharab”(Wine) after the religious conversion. Wine, as well as any other alcoholic drink, is considered forbidden in Islam]

8. Sombol: Hyacinth Flower, symbolizing “Smell of Spring”

Other items that are placed on the table include:

  1. Candles: Symbolizing “Light”
  2. Mirror:  Symbolizing “Reflection”
  3. Colored Eggs: Symbolizing “Fertility”
  4. Esphand: Rue Seeds, symbolizing “Keeping away the evil-Eyes”)
  5. Gold Fish: Symbolizing “Creation”
  6. Holy Book: Symbolizing “Guidance”

Iranians believe that a New Year should start with happiness and laughter so that the rest of the year will continue to be spent in joy. “Haji Firouz” is Iran’s version of Santa Claus. He would dress in brightly colored clothes and paint his face like a clown. He walks through the streets and public places while dancing, singing and telling people jokes. Joy and happiness are thought as the best way to get rid of evil. At a time when there was no TV or radio, he would bring news of New Year everywhere he went, especially when he would go to the remote villages.

At the time of “Tahveel” (exact time of Vernal Equinox), all our family members gather around the ceremonial table. We put on our new clothes and shoes. We remember the family members who are no longer among us and pray for them. When the exact moment of “Tahveel” is officially announced on the TV and radios, we hug, kiss and wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year. Older people give the younger ones gifts, usually in the form of new, crisp paper money. The younger family and relatives then go and visit their elders to whish them a happy New Year. It is a special time for kids because they receive numerous gifts wherever they go or when other relatives or guests come over. Nowruz is a time to forgive disagreements and forget the past mistakes. It is the perfect occasion for starting the New Year happy and with a fresh mindset.”

My father and some of his friends wrote this letter and e-mailed it to my high school.  They did this so that my school, which had about four or five students of Persian descent in each grade, would be more aware of the holiday and the traditions.  They also did it so that the students had a reason to take the day (or two, depending on the time of the New Year) off from school.  My parents moved from Iran to America in the 1970’s and they have continued to practice many of the Persian traditions.  They even sent my brother, Farbod, and I to Farsi school where we learned how to read and write in Farsi.  My family still celebrates the Persian New Year and thinks it is very important for everyone to be together at the time of the “tahveel.”  However, I know many Persian families that do not celebrate it as much as we do, and they are even baffled by the fact that we do celebrate it in America.

I personally love this holiday.  It is a chance for my family to all come together since I have family all over the world, such as in Florida, New York, even in London and Germany.  For me, it is like a second Christmas, not because of the gifts but because of the preparation that goes into getting ready for the New Year.  About two weeks beforehand, my mom sets up the “haft seen” and the Wednesday before the New Year we jump over the fires.  That time of year has always given me a festive and celebratory feeling.