Tag Archives: marriage

Weddings & Banana Plants

Text: A pre-wedding tradition where a representative from the groom’s family will cut down bamboo plants to clear the way for the marriage. Everyone there is also dressed up in traditional clothes.

Description of the tradition–Informant: “they’ll be like… depending on, you know, if the brides and groom’s parents are alive as well, um, there’s usually a representative from the groom’s family, and we have like this thing where we go and there’s the–there’s 3 per, um, parent, basically. So like the bride has like 3 and the groom has 3 and it’s, the actual thing itself is these banana plants. And they’re really tall and they kind of look like bamboo almost, but they’re really tall. And, um, like a representative from the groom’s family will come around and we have this very traditional knife called a Pichangatti It’s like a hooked knife. And basically, my dad has done this for a specific wedding, but you go around and you take this knife and you’re like cutting down these banana plants and it’s kind of showing like that there’s no obstacle that’s gonna like get in front of this marriage and like you’re you’re like metaphorically like cutting down obstacles or anything that like has to do with the like the transition into marriage.”

Context: The Informant is from Coorg, India. Their ethnicity is called Coorgi or Kodava and they speak Kodavathuk (it is a South Indian Dravidian language). Weddings last three days and this is a pre-wedding ritual. There they have huge emphasis on ancestry, so this tradition is a way to honor their ancestors. Many of their ancestors were warriors so this tradition is very symbolic with cutting down things, showing strength and power and ancestry, but also just giving wishes for the new couple. 

A Pichangatti is a knife used in agricultural and traditional cultural contexts. It is known for its unique shape as a curved blade and tends to be heavily decorated. 

Analysis: This is a ritual that is preparing the couple for the wedding, the time of transition into marriage, a time of liminality which can be uneasy. While also preparing the couple for the resulting state after the wedding: marriage. Within this ritual we see a performance element, as people are dressed up and someone is using a ritualistic element, the knife, to perform this ritual calling upon their ancestry and past as warriors. The informant said it but we really do see how in this important ancestry is, especially at a right of passage. Having three from both the bride and grooms side can be seen as honoring the two separate ancestors of the bride and groom while also preparing to merge the two families through this clearing of obstacles This ritual also involves magic superstition and slightly falls into the realm of sympathetic magic, specifically the law of similarity. The bamboo plants are tall and literal obstacles. In this ritual the participants externalize what are normally internal obstacles turning them into something that can be physically cut down, through representation like calling to like. This is done to create a good outcome for the marriage thus magic superstition. 

Proverb: If you marry a chicken follow the chicken; if you marry a dog follow the dog

Text:

Interviewee:

There is a custom in parts of China in which a bride-to-be holds a chicken. In Chinese, “chicken” (ji 鸡) is a homophone for (ji 吉), which means good fortune. There is also an old saying that goes: “if you marry a chicken follow the chicken, if you marry a dog follow the dog” (Jia ji sui ji, jia gou sui gou嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗). This saying means that no matter how her husband acts, a good wife should always follow and obey him. In addition, the hen is a symbol of fertility, implying that it is a wifely duty to have children early and often.

Context:
This informant was told of this proverb in her hometown, a rural village in China. She thinks of this proverb as a very out-dated idea about marriage and a woman’s destiny being defined by marriage.

Analysis:

This Chinese proverb reflects a deeply patriarchal ideology that was widely spread in last century China—a time when the informant referred to as “outdated.”
It reinforces unconditional wifely submission to her husband regardless of the husband’s character. The use of animals, chicken and dog—animals instead of humans— is a metaphor that suggests that a wife must follow even a low-status or undesirable husband.

Structurally, this proverb uses parallelism and antithesis—chicken/dog, marry/follow, which makes it easy to spread orally and be remembered.

Karwa Chauth

AGE: 21

DATE OF PERFORMANCE: 4/19/25

LANGUAGE: English 

NATIONALITY: Canadian 

OCCUPATION: Student 

PRIMARY LANGUAGE: English 

RESIDENCE: Westlake Village 

Text

Interviewer: Are there any distinct festivals or rituals you grew up around or attending when you were growing up? Are there any now?

SA: “Another ritual I witnessed growing up is Karwa Chauth, a day when women fast from sunrise to moonrise for their partner’s health and longevity.”

Context

[SA provides more context on what happens during Karwa Chauth]

“…the fast is broken by sighting the moon, pouring water from a traditional bronze cup, and doing a symbolic prayer ceremony that includes the elements–something that’s very common in Hinduism. Some husbands fast with their wives, and some women wake up before sunrise to have a small meal.”

Interpretation

As SA also said in her interview, this ritual is such a beautiful representation of devotion and love. It makes me wonder if this would also be a part of a wedding ritual or if this is strictly for married women? Upon some light basic research, this ritual came about also from a folktale about two lovers. I think it’s beautiful how in every culture or every community, there is always a folktale surrounded around lovers. There has always been this obsession and interest in the idea of love since the dawn of time! There also shows significance of the moon and the sun in this ritual as well, another huge aspect of Hinduism and of Asian cultures as a whole. Additionally, Hinduism revolves around the solar/lunar calendar.

“Sukob” – Filipino Wedding Superstition

Nationality: Filipino
Age: 51
Occupation: Software Engineer
Residence: Naperville, IL
Language: English

Text:

Sukob is the belief that siblings should not have their weddings within the same calendar year. It’s also believed that the older sibling should get married first.

Context:

The performer grew up in the Philippines with many siblings who were born at similar times as one another. He has also been married and made sure to not to have his marriage within the same time as his siblings. His marriage has been going strong for 30 years so far.

“So it’s not competing with progress or prosperity and benefits or well-wishes. It’s like a known information like everybody knows it. Especially if you and your siblings are in the same age range, they will normally check first who is older and work with the other siblings for the dates. For example, Tito A got engaged the same year but Tito A gave way to Tito R and waited another year to get married. It’s a practicality thing. It’s also the superstition that the benefits will compete for the rest of your marriage.”

Analysis:

Filipinos are extremely superstitious with many believing that life events carry energetic, or spiritual, weight. To ensure a strong, hormonious, and propserous foundation for their lives, they must set themselves up well for life events. Apart from birth and death, marriage is the only other universal life event that is celebrated cross-culturally, putting a lot of weight on how the event occurs and how important it is in one’s life. Marriage, in particular, holds profound cultural significance as one of the few universal rites of passage celebrated across societies and is treated with a lot of intention. In Filipino culture, where family unity and respect are paramount, avoiding the overlap of weddings within the same family is seen not only as a way to prevent misfortune, but also as a gesture of deference. It ensures that each family member’s major life moment is honored without being overshadowed.

Additionally, “Sukob” superstition has risen in popularity due to the Filipino horror film Sukob which features a couple breaking this rule and the terrifying, dramaticized “karma” that ensued. Cementing a negative perception of Sukob in pop culture has lead to amplified anxieties around violating traditonal norms. Filipinos are especially superstitious due to many of them adhering to Cathiolisism. In a predominantly Catholic society where religious doctrine and folk beliefs often intertwine, the combination of spiritual caution and cinematic storytelling has reinforced the fear and observance of Sukob.

A Cameroonian Union

Nationality: American/Cameroonian
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Arlington, Virginia
Language: English

TEXT: “When my cousin proposed to his now-wife, he had to follow a tradition that’s been in my family for generations. He needed to buy his bride’s family gift as a sort of bride price, a sort of toll he needed to pay before marrying her. The tradition comes from my Cameroonian culture. I remember the room filling with laughter, negotiations, and happiness, which marked the beginning of a lifelong connection.”

CONTEXT: This ritual was shared by the informant, F, during a conversation about wedding customs in different cultures. F talked about a marriage tradition from his Cameroonian background, where the groom must give gifts to the bride’s family before the wedding. He described attending his cousin’s bride price ceremony, where everyone laughed, talked, and celebrated together. F emphasized how important this step was in connecting the two families and honoring long-standing customs.

ANALYSIS: This is a good example of a cultural tradition that happens during big life events like marriage. In Cameroonian culture, the groom gives gifts to the bride’s family, which shows respect and seriousness about the marriage. It’s not just about the couple but about bringing two families together. Even though times have changed, people like F’s cousin still follow this tradition, which helps keep their culture alive. For F, it was more than just a party—it was a special moment that showed how important family and tradition are.