Category Archives: Proverbs

If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Nationality: American
Age: 26
Residence: Chicago Area
Performance Date: March 6, 2022
Primary Language: English
Language: N/A

Proverb: If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Context:

Context of Performance: said over Discord voice chat during a League of Legends game. The informant was recounting a story of a previous game he played where both teams trash talked each other in the public chat. However, once the opposing team began to lose they suddenly became silent.

Further Background:

The informant said that he first heard this proverb in grade school from his uncle. When asked about its meaning, he said: “stop complaining pretty much. If you can’t, like, in a kitchen they always get hot, right? So if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. If you can’t take it don’t complain about the heat. Stop complaining about something you’re trying to do I guess, if you wanna make it sound all technical.”

Personal Thoughts:
I’ve heard this phrase in passing, but usually by middle-aged or older adults. I’ve always associated it with condescending advice giving, I’ve heard this phrase in passing, usually by middle-aged or older adults. I’ve always associated it with condescending advice giving, because I essentially translated it to “suck it up” or “shut up.” Proverbs are typically seen as an old person genre for giving advice, but this particular proverb seems less of advice and more of “shut up and stop complaining”. As a greater reflection of society, this phrase indicates the older generation’s distaste for complaints.

As a side note, I’ve also heard this phrase as “stand the heat”.

Additional Notes:

This saying was coined by Harry S. Truman in 1942.

It is also noted that the saying has also been said as “If you can’t standthe heat, stay out of the kitchen.”

For further information about this proverb, go to
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Wiktionary. (2022, February 2). Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/if_you_can%27t_stand_the_heat,_get_out_of_the_kitchen#:~:text=Attributed%20to%20Harry%20S.,in%20a%20July%201942%20newspaper. 

Martin, G. (n.d.). ‘if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen’ – the meaning and origin of this phrase. Phrasefinder. Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/get-out-of-the-kitchen.html 

For further information about “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it,” go to:
Someone can dish it out but he or she can’t take it. SOMEONE CAN DISH IT OUT BUT HE OR SHE CAN’T TAKE IT | definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary. (n.d.). Retrieved March 7, 2022, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/someone-can-dish-it-out-but-he-or-she-can-t-take-it 

Frugality Proverb

Original Script: “Kung may isinuksok, may idudukot”

Transliteration: koong my ee-sin-ook-sok, my ee-doo-doo-kot

Literal Translation: If there is something put in, there is to take out

Smooth Translation: If there is something to put in, there is something to take out

Background: The informant is a 68 year-old Filipina immigrant who moved to the United States with her two children when she was 40 years old.  She heard this proverb from her father, who raised her and her siblings frugally in her childhood.  She had to use these skills as she started her life in the United States from scratch.

Context: This piece was told to me at a luncheon after our weekly Sunday services.

This proverb refers to being wise with one’s money, that if you invest or save for a rainy day, then it will be there to use when you need it.  Many of the informant’s relatives migrated from the Philippines to the United States from the 1970’s all the way to the 2010’s.  As new immigrants, it was essential that they were prudent with the money they had so that they could provide their children with a bettr life.  Prior to that, the informant was also raised in a context where financial stability was difficult to achieve.  Therefore, her father often only saved their money for the family’s essentials with little room for the “wants” in life so that they had extra money for unexpected situations.

Ubos Biyaya

Original Script: “Ubos-ubos biyaya, bukas nakatunganga”

Transliteration: oo-boss oo-boss bee-yah-yah, boo-kas nah-kah-too-nga-nga

Literal Translation: Finish finish gift, tomorrow staring

Smooth Translation: Finish your gifts too quickly, tomorrow you’ll be staring emptily.

Background: This proverb was often told to the informant, who was raised to be careful and wise about how she distributed eating her special treats on the rare occasions that she received them.  If she was finishing her “carefully doled out goodies” too quickly, she would be cautioned being so hasty with finishing up her blessings.

Context: This proverb was shared to me through a Facebook Messenger call later in the day with an informant who had previously spoken to me at our weekly Sunday luncheons.

This proverb says a lot about the informant’s family values, especially in regard to special gifts and abundance.  While this proverb was mostly used when the informant was a child and it was usually in reference to inconsequential things such as candy or food, it is indicative of deeper values that ran in her family.  In using this proverb, children learn to value more extended gratification and taking their blessings in small “bites” instead of ravenously expending all that they have.  Because if they do, they will simply have nothing to do later on but stare emptily when they could have had more of the blessing then if they had been more prudent about going through what they had.

“Bahala ka sa buhay mo”

“Bahala ka sa buhay mo,” it essentially translates to “Whatever, it’s your life; you can handle it,” in a tone that, in a way, communicates the exact opposite to whoever is hearing it.  It shows disapproval for something that a person of lesser power, like a son or daughter, is about to do.  It is the withholding of validation that hurts the most when you hear that from someone you respect.

Background: This is a proverb/saying that anyone who has had a parent disappointed in them has heard.  It’s extremely common to hear mothers say it to their children when they are about to make a decision that is frowned upon.

Context: The informant is a 60 year-old Filipina immigrant to the United States who has children of her own.  This myth was told to me during a weekly luncheon that always follows our Sunday church services.

As the daughter of Filipino immigrants, I have also been told this a countless number of times whenever I’m having a struggle of autonomy with my parents.  My experience of Filipino culture has included a highly involved family life, which often means that parents exert heightened amounts of control over their children’s lives and decisions.  While I used to resent having them dictate the actions I should take, the idea that they are relinquishing all of the control to me and having me handle my own life knowing that they do not believe I am ready to do so is also scary.  That, I think, is the saying’s purpose.  It drives home the idea that our parents are so sure of our failure that they’re willing to watch us deal with the consequences of our actions without their help.

“Bahala Ka” by MC Einstein is a song that uses the proverb to give an “I don’t care” attitude to the listener from the singer’s point of view. The disappointment and lack of concern in the original proverb are then inserted into the song’s lyrics and message.

Bleeding on a costume is good luck for the actor

Interview and Context

CS: It’s just a saying. And I think its partially because there’s nothing you can do about it, and it’s a way of sort of justifying and making yourself feeling better that one: you may have hurt yourself, and two: that you may have, like, made a stain on a costume that you may or may not be able to remove as well as you would like?
Interviewer: So as far as you know its less of a superstition and more of a justification
CS: Ya. Hahaha.
Interviewer: When’s the first time you heard that?
CS: Probably the first time that I , probably when I was in college and… I don’t think, I don’t think I ever heard that outside of theater. I think I heard of it mostly, you know, like— it’s something I thought about, like, I’m sure I must have poked myself and may have bled on a garment when I was learning to sew like in home ec, as a teenager, but I don’t think that I heard of it more that, at a costume shop, that it’s good luck for the actor, y’know.
Interviewer: Good luck for the actor, bad luck for you.
CS: Right? Ya.
Interviewer: Any idea how long it’s been around? I know you said you he
HS: I have a feeling that this one is, a long time. I just have that feeling.
CS: Because people have been probably bleeding on costumes since costumes have been made.

Analysis

The first time the informant told me this proverb was when another worker poked themself with a needle while mending a costume. I later asked the informant to repeat the saying and their explanation for the sake of recording it.
This is an example of a proverb. I found it interesting that it is said so sarcastically, rather than earnestly. However, in other versions*, it is not necessarily sarcastic or bitter. Seeing that it isn’t a saying unique to making theater costumes—or unique to a bitter saying—the attitude with which a participant in this folklore says the proverb changes the intention of the proverb. The attitude also indicates that the saying is useful despite differing levels of belief in superstitions: the reciter may believe whole-heartedly that their drop of blood (it must be accidental) will give the actor a better performance. Or the reciter may not believe the proverb, but say it anyway, as participating in the tradition or just in case it is true.

*http://uscfolklorearc.wpenginepowered.com/good-luck-to-bleed-on-designs-in-fashion-industry/