Tag Archives: death

Grandmother’s Goodbye

Genre: Folk Narrative – Ghost Story

Text:

“My dad once told me a story about an experience he had with a ghost. My dad was really close with his grandparents; he spent a lot of time over at their house when he was younger and as a child, he had these really weird dreams where his grandmother would appear to him. In the dreams, she was just sitting on a stool beside his bed and talking to him.

“When I was around ten years old, my great-grandmother, his grandmother, passed away. But my dad told me he had one of those dreams the night she died: in his dream, he was a child again as he was looking at her, and just as she always did in the dreams, she was sitting on a stool and talking to him. But he had a feeling that this dream was different. Although he doesn’t remember the details of the conversation he had in the dream, when he woke up, he felt a visceral change and later discovered that that was the night she passed away.”

Context:

“My great-grandparents on my dad’s side, around when I was ten years old or so, were dying of Alzheimer’s and they needed a caretaker. It was a really big burden on my family, and I remember my dad talking about them a lot during that time because he had a really deep connection with his grandparents. He spent a lot of time with them growing up, and he even ended up remodeling their house and turning it into his parents’ house, which is where my grandparents live now. I think my dad’s dreaming of them was a representation of the deep emotional connection they shared. I think he really felt a change in that connection the night his grandmother died, and I like to think of that dream as her way of saying goodbye.”

Analysis:

Although I am skeptical about the idea of a truly prophetic dream, I think this is an example of how dreams can sometimes help someone process an ongoing trauma or complicated emotions. The informant explained that his great-grandparents were dying of Alzheimer’s, which is a slow end. It is possible that the informant’s father dreamed about conversations with his grandmother as a way of processing this difficult mental condition, and only after hearing news of his grandmother’s death did he feel that, at the time of the dream, he felt that he knew she had died at the time. Memories are notoriously faulty and dreams even more so, which is why I personally believe that this was not a ghost the informant’s father envisioned the night his grandmother died, but merely a way of his brain processing the difficulty of losing a loved one.

Another idea to consider is the fact that the informant’s paternal family is Mexican. Ghosts are prevalent in Mexican culture, particularly the ghosts of loved ones (as seen in holidays such as Día de los Muertos). It is possible that this cultural background influenced the informant’s father to be more inclined to believe in a supernatural explanation for his dream/ghost rather than a scientific one.

Memorate (Soul of Family Member After Death)

Nationality: American
Primary language: English
Age: 18
Occupation: Canvasser
Residence: Echo Park, CA

Text

MM’s father was on his death bed. His aunt, his father’s older sister, was taking a plane from Pittsburgh to Seattle to see him. Without her knowledge, MM’s father died while she was on the plane. She saw a burst of light flash inside and outside the plane and into the air. She knew in that moment that he had died and that must be him. She made note of the time. When she got off the plane, she was notified by someone in Seattle that MM’s father had died. His time of death was about the same as the time she recorded the light on the plane.

Context

MM was 7 or 8 when this story was shared with him by his mom. He thinks it’s beautiful and really moving. It affirms for him that there’s some kind of soul, and that humans can communicate with each other after death.

Analysis

This memorate from MM’s aunt is deeply moving and emotional. While the light MM’s aunt saw isn’t a “ghost,” I believe that her account of it as the soul of her deceased brother, as well as the personal and narrative nature of this story, classifies this as a memorate. One interesting element of this memorate is in relation to something Professor Thompson mentioned in class: friendly ghosts are more commonly reported among older people. MM’s aunt’s description of a burst of light, followed by the calm realization that her brother had passed on, makes this memorate peaceful rather than scary. These kinds of peaceful memorates represent the human impulse to make sense of and come to terms with death. Seeing her brother pass on as a bright light allowed MM’s aunt to feel that he was at peace and going to a better place in the sky. As MM notes, the story also demonstrates an idea that the dead can communicate with the living. MM’s father seems to choose to visit his sister in this story, coming to her on the plane almost as if to say, “It’s alright. I’ve passed on, but I want to say goodbye.” This matches with the traits of friendly ghost stories, which are comforting for the living loved ones of the dead.

Tomb Sweeping Day: Annual Family Gravesite Ritual

Nationality: American / Taiwanese
Language(s) spoken: Chinese Mandarin, English
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA / Taipei, Taiwan

Text

Every year, MC and their family go to visit their paternal grandfather’s grave, usually on his birthday and on a holiday in April called Qing ming jie. The whole family goes, including MC, their parents, their siblings, their grandma, their cousins, etc. First, the family enters a main building, where there’s a plaque with their grandpa’s name and statues of the gods. The family pays their respects to both, praying for peace and protection. They light incense and leave offerings, sometimes for the gods and sometimes for the family members. There are also tables where you can leave flowers. Then, they go up a mountain to visit the gravesite. It’s located in a building eventually meant to hold the remains of everyone in their family. Inside, they clean the grave of MC’s grandpa, pray, make offerings, and leave fruit, wine, and flowers, as well as burn incense. Then, they sit together at a pavilion, talk, and eat food. After that, they read out a poetic prayer three times in front of a pot that represents the earth god. Then they go speak to their grandpa in their head, sharing whatever they like, and ask them for protection and good fortune.

Context

MC has been participating in this tradition for as long as they can remember. For them, it’s not extremely sad, as they never knew their grandpa. It is a bit sad, though, because they know their dad and grandma are really sad during this tradition. But it’s also something to look forward to. MC gets to enjoy nice food and spend time with their cousins, which is fun. They think it’s really cool that they get to connect with their grandpa even though they never met him. They described the offerings for their grandpa as a kind of care package for him; he can get those things even in the afterlife.

Analysis

This family (and cultural) tradition reminds me of Valk’s article “Ghostly Possession and Real Estate,” especially its description of what ghosts mean to people. In it, he talks about how adults like “friendly ghost” stories in which people in the afterlife can help those still alive or connect with them in some way. MC’s family tradition isn’t necessarily about ghosts, but it undoubtedly represents a desire to connect with those who have passed on. By offering up food, wine, and flowers to their deceased relative, MC’s family shows their belief that those no longer alive can still interact with them and their lives. This cultural tradition also represents a value of respect for the dead. By visiting their relative, paying their respects, and cleaning his grave multiple times a year, MC’s family shows that they still love and care for MC’s grandpa, even though he’s no longer with them. Finally, this tradition shows an immense value of family. The fact that everyone in MC’s family is buried in the same gravesite house shows that they want to be together even after death, and the way that their deceased grandfather brings together all alive family members further demonstrates dedication to staying close. Overall, this tradition represents a belief in the spirit world, as well as strong family ties.

“The Lady In Black” Ghost Story

Main Piece

Informant CH recalls hearing a story from her Mom about “The Lady in Black,” a ghost who dwells on George’s Island in the Boston Harbor.

As told by CH, the Lady in Black was wrongfully convicted for a murder she didn’t commit, and hung on prison grounds. She now haunts these grounds, wailing. Prisoners have heard a woman’s cries in the prison, but there wasn’t anyone there.

The Lady in Black was “not a real person” (in terms of corporealness), and “couldn’t physically interact with anything,” and seemed “bound” to the site of the prison. Hearing her cries startled prisoners, and CH recalls that the legend of the Lady in Black is well-recorded and published in regional folklore. While discussing it, CH was unsure of more specific details and mentioned that I should look up further details, as she’s uncertain if her memory of the story aligns with the published materials.

Interpretation

Informant’s Interpretation: CH sees the story of the Lady in Black as a reminder of the wartime history of Boston Harbor. She also believes that the abundance of stories about Boston Harbor–particularly pertaining to ghosts–has to do with a permeating regional desire to “figure out what happened” and have an accurate understanding of history that’s still so well represented and physically present.

Personal Interpretation: I drew similarities between CH’s story of the Lady in Black to the Irish banshee, a wailing woman who acts as a harbinger of death. Being that the Lady in Black was particularly noted to be heard by prisoners and a victim of a wrongful hanging, I felt her association with death was particularly strong. This seems representative of a place (particularly a prison with heavily militaristic history) that has a great deal of death associated with it. Thus, I felt the haunting and its nature to be deeply tied to the literal and physical history of the island.

Background

Informant CH is a current student at USC pursuing a degree in Theatre. She grew up in Hull, Massachusetts, and noted that her Mom grew up in the same town and the “islands have been her life.” CH heard this story from her, and thinks it likely came up because she mentioned thinking she’d seen a ghost when she was young (elementary to early middle school), and her parents responded by telling her about the Lady in Black. CH notes that due to this story and other personal experiences, she believes in ghosts, as do her parents.

CH is white and of European descent (primarily Irish), and is female-presenting.

The Woman In The Corner – Ghost Story

Main Piece

Informant KO recalled a memorate from when she was in middle school after moving with her family to a new home. While renovations were being performed on the home, she and her family found a number of strange things: “a child’s train tracks, a weird oil permit…a picture of this woman in the wall.”

KO and her family started asking and telling each other stories about who this woman in the portrait might be: “What if she was someone’s mistress? What if she was murdered? [My family and I] went to all the dark stuff first.”

One night, while asleep in her bedroom, KO randomly woke up in the middle of the night – unusual for her – and recalls that it was either exactly 3 or 3:30am. She looked towards the corner of her room and saw the woman standing there “in a long white dress, with long black hair.”

She recalls that she was very tired and more nervous than afraid at the time, and “hoped she’d go away if [she] just hid,” so she pulled the covers over her head and tried to go back to sleep. When she woke up in the morning, the woman in the corner was gone.

KO told her parents and a few friends about the experience. When told, her Mom said that she’d been “hearing footsteps down the hallway” but didn’t want to say anything and scare KO’s little sister.

KO and her family have been living in the house ever since, but KO has never seen the woman again. She questions whether the experience was just a dream.

Interpretation

Informant’s Interpretation: KO, as stated, questions whether the whole affair was just a dream and thinks her “brain was primed to see a ghost” because of what had been found in the house and her mom’s observations. She finds it to be a classic example of thinking you may have seen a ghost, and key to her uncertainty about ghosts’ existence.

Personal Interpretation: I see this story and experience as reactive to and inclusive of the environment it takes place in, similar to many ghost stories. The context of moving, renovation (altering the old), and being confronted with unknown pieces of physical history set the stage to wonder and consider who lived in this house beforehand, and speaks to a human curiosity towards trying to understand the unknown. I also feel that this experience seems like it sticks out in KO’s memory so prominently because of the age she was when it took place–at a time when kids are starting to process their own place in the world and sort out what is real from what is, an personal experience with one of these unknowns holds a great impact. The actual appearance in the corner being a woman wearing a long white dress evoked wedding-esque symbolism to me, and I can recall many ghost stories focused on brides / the marriage status of a woman, particularly in relation to death and household spirits.

Background

Informant KO is a current student at USC pursuing a degree in Narrative Studies from Seattle, Washington. Her family (mom, dad, younger sister) still lives in the house noted in the story. KO remains unsure whether she believes in ghosts, but thinks of this as a key part of her belief that they “maybe” exist.

KO is white and of Canadian and Swedish descent, and is female-presenting.