Tag Archives: family

Grandmother’s Goodbye

Genre: Folk Narrative – Ghost Story

Text:

“My dad once told me a story about an experience he had with a ghost. My dad was really close with his grandparents; he spent a lot of time over at their house when he was younger and as a child, he had these really weird dreams where his grandmother would appear to him. In the dreams, she was just sitting on a stool beside his bed and talking to him.

“When I was around ten years old, my great-grandmother, his grandmother, passed away. But my dad told me he had one of those dreams the night she died: in his dream, he was a child again as he was looking at her, and just as she always did in the dreams, she was sitting on a stool and talking to him. But he had a feeling that this dream was different. Although he doesn’t remember the details of the conversation he had in the dream, when he woke up, he felt a visceral change and later discovered that that was the night she passed away.”

Context:

“My great-grandparents on my dad’s side, around when I was ten years old or so, were dying of Alzheimer’s and they needed a caretaker. It was a really big burden on my family, and I remember my dad talking about them a lot during that time because he had a really deep connection with his grandparents. He spent a lot of time with them growing up, and he even ended up remodeling their house and turning it into his parents’ house, which is where my grandparents live now. I think my dad’s dreaming of them was a representation of the deep emotional connection they shared. I think he really felt a change in that connection the night his grandmother died, and I like to think of that dream as her way of saying goodbye.”

Analysis:

Although I am skeptical about the idea of a truly prophetic dream, I think this is an example of how dreams can sometimes help someone process an ongoing trauma or complicated emotions. The informant explained that his great-grandparents were dying of Alzheimer’s, which is a slow end. It is possible that the informant’s father dreamed about conversations with his grandmother as a way of processing this difficult mental condition, and only after hearing news of his grandmother’s death did he feel that, at the time of the dream, he felt that he knew she had died at the time. Memories are notoriously faulty and dreams even more so, which is why I personally believe that this was not a ghost the informant’s father envisioned the night his grandmother died, but merely a way of his brain processing the difficulty of losing a loved one.

Another idea to consider is the fact that the informant’s paternal family is Mexican. Ghosts are prevalent in Mexican culture, particularly the ghosts of loved ones (as seen in holidays such as Día de los Muertos). It is possible that this cultural background influenced the informant’s father to be more inclined to believe in a supernatural explanation for his dream/ghost rather than a scientific one.

Christmas Ornament Ritual

Text
K: “Okay, so during, um, Christmas time, whenever my family puts all the ornaments up on our Christmas tree, or like, we decorate the Christmas tree, we have two ornaments that we always put on in a specific order. So we have the pickle ornament, which goes on second to last, and then we have this little clip-on, like, cardinal ornament, and we always put that on our Christmas tree last.”

Me: “Is this something that your parents explicitly taught you, or did you kind of come up with it as a family, like it formed organically?”

Kae: “I can’t really remember, but every time that we do it, like, nowadays, they’re always like ‘remember! Don’t put the pickle on the tree or the cardinal on the tree because they go on last!’ So I guess they kind of remind us.”

Context
K is a current student at the University of Southern California. They spent most of their childhood in Chicago, Illinois before their family moved to North Carolina, where they currently live when not in school. K stated that they believe the tradition started with their immediate family and has been going on for over a decade. K said they felt it was for fun, but that the ornaments were ‘special’ to them and their family. When asked to elaborate, K explained that the cardinal ornament in particular was something that their parents had bought and that belonged to their parents, which attributed it a special quality for them. As for the pickle, K explained how they had heard that “sometimes people put a pickle in the Christmas tree. Which is where the pickle ornament might come from.” K did not indicate that the pickle ornament had any specific significance to their family outside of it being part of their tradition. They also did not indicate why the pickle or cardinal were placed on the tree in their given order, but noted that doing so gave a definitive sense of the tree being completed.

Text
As K suggested, this seems to be a seasonal ritual that indicates the official ‘closing’ or end of the decoration of the Christmas tree. By using the same, specific set of ornaments each time, K’s family all receive a clear visual signal that their decorating ritual is complete. That the cardinal ornament — the last ornament to go on the tree — is an ornament that seems to hold special sentimental value to K’s parents helps to further underscore themes of family and togetherness that typically characterize the Christmas season. It is also interesting to note that, according to K, the representation of the pickle may stem from another set of folk practices that have now been incorporated into a different context, showing the adaptability and evolution of folklore.

Family Reunion (life cycle celebration)

“Growing up [my family and I] always went to [our family reunion]. We usually met in a church. Mom’s dad and all his brother’s and sisters, and all of us, we’d gather to eat and see each other – fried chicken, cream corn, corn bread, green beans, etc. We’d all just catch up and [my mom] and her sisters would sing for everyone – something folky – and then we’d take pictures. So me and granddad and grandma and mom and dad and me and my brothers, and all my first and second cousins were all in one picture, and then other sides or groups of thee family would take their own.”

My informant told me all about the family reunions he attended annually as he was growing up. He doesn’t attend them anymore, as many of those family members have passed away or become busy with their own families.

When I asked him what the reunion meant to him-

“We did it every year, in the summer – usually August. It was nice out, it was nice to see each other. We’re usually all scattered about. I love my family, I like talking to them, catching up with them.”

He is from North Carolina, part of the southern United States, he recounts, but couldn’t specify folk music shared among his family, and the food he described distinctly stuck out as traditional southern comfort food. As his family is not normally all together is this larger collective, it must feel quite nostalgic to come together and share these songs and classic food together.

He also speaks about the photos they always took, and though he didn’t speak on this himself, I wonder about how each picture changes through every passing year and how the image of their family dynamics change. It sounds like his family, whether it is intentional or not, were preserving this knowledge and part of their families history through photography.

The Aswang/Tik Tik

Context:

My informant is a member of my family.

My informant said that the Aswang and the Tik Tik are stories about evil entities that live in the provinces in the Philippines. They are very rare that these stories of these entities are in Manila.

But her neighbors around would always talk about the aswang and the tik tik especially when there’s a pregnant woman in the neighborhood. Neighbors would speculate that this person or somebody in the household is pregnant because they saw the Tiktik/aswang lurking on the rooftop. Though they are similar because they can be both seen as Filipino vampires. The difference between them mostly come from the noise that the tik tik makes, which is the same as its name.

She said that when she was pregnant she would always kept a scissors under her pillow. “Because I wasn’t sure if l dreamt of it or if it was real, but I had a feeling that there was a tik tik Outside my window. The tik tik goes on the rooftop and is able to know if someone is pregnant or not. They will open their mouth and let their ling tongue penetrate the roofing until they reach the pregnant belly of the mom and eat/suck the baby out”. Which is why she is told to keep a pair of scissors with her during the night.

She believes these are stories that has been passed down to generations and probably a reminder that we are not alone in this world and that dark entities really exist. It’s relevant because somehow these stories are unique to certain provinces/places in the Philippines and somehow represents culture. Finally, she said that lot of people think it’s real. It would even sometimes be reported in the news if a sighting was witnessed. But there is no actual scientific evidence or photographic evidence or videos.

Analysis:

The tik tik and the aswang are a part of Filipino mythological folklore. But these creatures can be categorized as cryptids.

Filipino vampires, such as the Aswang and the Tik Tik are deceiving creatures. Although my informant does not mention it, these creatures could take the form of animals and even beautiful women. They are widely accepted as female creatures. But with the added context, this story serves as a cautionary tale for those that are vulnerable. Since the Philippines has a lot of provinces and poorer areas, the fear of these vampires is heightened. As they live among smaller communities and prey on pregnant women. The type of tale seems to subvert from the expectation because the tik tik and the aswang are gendered as women that prey on other women. It may be a message directed to women that their fear should not focus on predatory men, but that women or anyone can hurt them.

My informant’s experience with the fear of the aswang and the tik tik comes from being pregnant herself. Pregnant women may naturally fear any harm or danger that could come after their babies and their health. And the fear that a scary monster will hurt them is an extension to this natural motherly fear.

Haunted Bookstore in CA

Main Piece

Informant SF tells of their favorite recycled bookstore in downtown Campbell, CA. They associate it with being “full of old things,” and their family believes it to be haunted.

This specific familial legend comes from a time SF, her mother, and grandfather were all shopping at the story together when SF was about 16. Their grandpa, who believes in ghosts, “swore he saw a book fall off the shelf,” and when questioned by SF about the event, their Mom backed him up and affirmed she believed the store to be haunted.

As they had this discussion just outside of the store, all three began smelling cigarette smoke despite the fact that “no one was smoking.” They looked around and waited a while, but continued to smell it without finding a source. SF’s Mom and Grandpa both pointed to this as evidence for the bookstore being haunted, and they “never found out if someone was smoking.”

SF notes that she doesn’t know if she believes in ghosts, but if she did this is one she’d believe in, particularly because the store is “full of things people used to own.” They also found it odd that their Mom leaned into affirming that the place was haunted, as she “doesn’t really say that” about other places.

Interpretation

Informant’s Interpretation: SF attributes her family’s delineation of the space as haunted primarily to its status as a recycled bookstore. She notes that she believes haunting legends are much more common around/associated with items that have been owned by many people and have an unclear history.

Personal Interpretation: I agree with the interpretation above, and add that the impossibility of finding out the history of items / untraceable origins creates a stronger premise for ghost stories to arise. “Nobody really knows” is much more intrigue-invoking than a clear-cut explanation. I also found SF’s story to be indicative of how familial belief frequently strongly influences personal belief–SF noted she was more inclined to believe the space was haunted because she “believes what [her] family says.”

Background

Informant SF is a current student at USC pursuing a degree in Cinema and Media Studies. They grew up in San Jose, CA, and are very close with their parents, sisters, and grandparents. SF is white and Latine.