Tag Archives: wedding ceremony

Toss of the bouquet

Date_of_performance: 04/25/2025

Informant Name: FR

Language: English 

Nationality: American

Occupation: Student/Vaulting Coach

Primary Language: English

Residence: Westwood

INTERVIEW:

I recently went to my cousin’s wedding in the beginning of April, I guess you can call that recently. One thing that I saw my cousin do after they got married during the reception, was toss the bouquet to the crowd. I knew what it meant, but my younger sister was confused why she did that, so we talked to my mom about it and this is what she said is the meaning of it: “Usually, at traditional weddings, brides will through the bouquet towards family and friends who gather on the dance floor and the person who catches it, if they are single or in a relationship, it would mean they would get married next. It usually surrounds women guests. It basically symbolizes good luck and love in your future relationships. It doesn’t mean it will actually happen, it is supposed to be a lighthearted and fun game where the person who catches the bouquet could get teased and to put pressure on their partner to make a move.” I found this interesting that the bride is willing to make the wedding about someone else and the excitement of them possibly getting married instead of wanting to keep all of the attention of them and their partner and how they just got married. I think my cousin did to keep the wedding ritual alive because it is to normalized to do the bouquet toss at weddings, you get peer pressured to do the traditions that your parents did before you because it is seen as the norm and what everyone should do. I just found the idea of tossing a bouquet at your wedding an interesting wedding ritual.

MY ANALYSIS

I agree with FR about how she choose to make her wedding about someone else by tossing the bouquet. I find western wedding traditions so fascinating and how it mostly focused on the women being given away to the man. For example, the dad walking the bride down the isle as a way to “give her away” to the husband. And now tossing the bouquet to the women guests to see if their partner proposes and it is always about heterosexual relationships or weddings. All of the weddings I’ve been too, have mostly been heterosexual weddings (due to my family members mainly being straight) and all of them have done the bouquet toss. But, the traditional aspects of weddings, example the bouquet toss, is rooted in folklore and the idea that the brides are met with rituals before getting married as a way to represent women losing their innocence and/or virginity. The bouquet toss falls under the idea of whoever gets the bouquet is next to lose their innocence by getting married and “belonging” to their partner and possibly losing the individuality they had before.

Inyo uno-Nigerian (Igbo) Marriage Tradition

Nationality: Nigerian American
Age: 55
Performance Date: 4/1/2020
Primary Language: English
Language: Igbo

Context: This is the first step that a man must take in order to get married. My mom learned these from her father and my dad learned the process from his own father. They value this tradition heavily and my dad underwent this process when he married my mom.

  • Inyo uno
    • If a man wants to marry a maiden, he must go to the home of the maiden’s father accompanied by his kingsmen[family members]. With them, the man must bring hot drink [alcohol] and kola nuts[object of prayer and goodwill] to tell the parents of the maiden that he wants to marry their daughter. He must break the kola nut with the girl’s family and give them the kola nut and hot drink that he brought for the girl’s parents to keep. The parents of the girl then think over the marriage request and look into the man’s past and his family’s past to check for illness, health issues, and bad qualities like lying or theft. Once the parents are satisfied and they determine the man is good, they will call their family members and will break the kola and drink the hot drink brought by the man in question. Once this has been done, they will call the man’s family and start making arrangements.
      • Thoughts: I found this step interesting because of the process of asking for someone’s hand in marriage. The dialogue between the prospective groom and the parents of the family is very structured and there are specific steps that have to be followed[i.e. bringing your kingsman and bringing kola and hot drink as an offering]. In addition, the prospective groom really has no means of telling whether he has done enough to appease the parents. The man engages in this grand gesture, bringing kola nut and hot drink [symbols of his marriage request] and presenting them to the women’s parents as a sacred offering. What further intrigued me was the full background check undertaken by the parents of the prospective bride, in that they would extensively move through the family history of the man in question and make sure that he presented no bad traits that would make him unfit for marriage. If the prospective groom is found to be unfit for marriage, traditionally the parents will not support the union and their daughter will not be getting married. This a very interesting marriage custom and appears to be the most crucial before any real steps towards a union can take place.

Bride-price~Nigerian (Igbo) Marriage Traditions

Nationality: Nigerian American
Age: 55
Performance Date: 4/1/2020
Primary Language: English
Language: Igbo

Context: This is the second step that a man must take in order to get married. My mom learned these from her father and my dad learned the process from his own father. They value this tradition heavily and my dad underwent this process when he married my mom.

  • Bride-price
    • The bride price is a token for raising a wonderful young lady and paid by the parents of the prospective groom. Once the bride price is presented the money is divided to the father and his kingsmen[uncles, cousins…etc], the mother[sisters, cousins..etc], the uncle, and the auntie partake in the money. 
      • Thoughts: I found this step to be very interesting to me. When I was listening to my parents explain this my initial thoughts were that it appeared that I was going to be sold off and married when I was old enough, however, my perceptions changed when they told me why this payment was so significant. A bride-price is not a means for which a man pays to marry a person, instead, it is a symbolic gesture paid by the prospective groom to give thanks to the family of the woman he intends to marry. The bride price is an offering of thanks for raising such a well brought up a young woman who the man now wants to marry. It was really interesting learning about this marriage custom, and I hope to witness this process one day or possibly the day that I or a female member of my family will be approached by someone who wants to marry us.

Idu uno-Nigerian (Igbo) Marriage Traditions

Nationality: Nigerian American
Age: 56
Occupation: Budget Analyst
Performance Date: 4/1/2020
Primary Language: English
Language: Igbo

Context: This is the last step that a man must take in order to get married. My mom learned these from her father and my dad learned the process from his own father. They value this tradition heavily and my dad underwent this process when he married my mom.

  • Idu uno
    • This process is where the father of the bride and his kingsman buy everything that the bride needs in her new household. They will buy her a fridge, stove, furniture, and anything else she will need in her new life as a wife. The father of the bride could also give them land to cultivate or provide them with a home and car to start their lives with. The mother of the bride and her fellow women will also give the bride things for her new life by buying all the things she will need for her kitchen.
    • Young men of the community will then play music and accompany the bride to the husband’s parent’s house. All of the items for the bride will be brought to her new inlaws home. The young men of the community will request compensation from their elders. The parents of the groom must present a specific amount of kola and tobacco before the young men move the items inside their home. The leader of the young men will then break kola for the new bride and will see her into her new home along with other young women of the community.
      • Thoughts: In this final step, family and community are especially highlighted in more elaborate gestures of care. It was really cool listening to this process because it’s not something I have witnessed in American weddings. While in American weddings the bride and groom do receive gifts, it’s not to the extent that a procession is undertaken to not only give the bride everything she needs but also help her move in. When I was in Nigeria last winter, I actually got to see this step of the marriage rights take place. The bride was ushered into the home of her husband’s parents and the men of the community would one by one carry gifts into the house. Gifts ranged from bags of rice to whole fridges and stoves, and even whole plots of land. This was amazing to hear because it highlights how united the family and community are in rallying behind the newlyweds. The community as a whole wants to make sure that the new union is prosperous and wants nothing but the best. I appreciate this gesture because I got to see how happy and warm the newlyweds were. Knowing that the community around them is all in support of them, it is a perfect way to kick off a happy union. 

Jumping the Broom at Wedding

Nationality: America
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 3/25/19
Primary Language: English
Language: N/A

Main Piece:

The following is transcribed from a conversation between the informant and interviewer.

Informant: We do jumping the broom. That’s one, that’s like black tradition. Yea, after you get married, and before you walk down to the aisle as Mr and Mrs, you jump over the broom at the altar.

Interviewer: What does that mean?

Informant: I honestly don’t know, it’s just like new beginning, like a wish luck type of tradition.

Interviewer: Does that mean anything to you?

Informant: It’s just like a tradition. Everyone does it.

Background:

My informant is African American, and her entire family is originally from Louisiana. They are all Creole descendants. Jumping the broom is a typical African American tradition at a wedding ceremony, so my informant is aware of this tradition as she goes to different weddings, mostly her relatives’ weddings. Though she does not know what exactly does jumping over the broom signify, she still follows this tradition as she grows up with this culture.

Context:

This piece of folklore was collected through a quick interview after class. My informant and I knew each other when we first came to the college, so the setting was really causal and both of us were relaxed.

Thoughts:

It is interesting to find that my informant is not really aware of the meaning behind the tradition of jumping over the broom, but she still follows it. A lot of the time, people do not fully understand the custom, but because they grow up practicing it, it becomes a habit. Similar to my experience, from the place where I grow up, China, specifically, there are certain food to eat for certain festivals. Usually, there is meaning behind each food and reasons why people eat it. However, most of the time, I do not know the symbolic meaning, but rather consume the products. Especially, when my mom buys the food for the family members, we rarely question the deeper meaning behind it. In such case, folk food almost becomes a commodity rather than a representation of culture.