Tag Archives: Weddings

Cantonese Wedding Comb Tradition

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 51
Occupation: Housewife
Residence: Arcadia, CA
Performance Date: 4/27/2013
Primary Language: Chinese
Language: English

My mother said that when she was about to get married, she learned of a tradition that takes place before the day of the wedding.  Her older sister combed her hair the night before, and said the following lines:

一梳梳到老 (yi shu, shu dao lao)

二梳白髮齊眉 (er shu, bai fa jing wei)

三梳兒孫滿地 (san shu, er sun man di)

四梳有田有地 (si shu, you tian you di)

Each line is delivered with a stroke from a comb.

The first line translates to, “one stroke, stroke until old age.”  The first stroke comes with a wish for the bride-to-be to have a long life.

The second line translates to, “two strokes, your brows become white together.”  The second stroke wishes for the bride-to-be to have white eyebrows at the same time her husband does.  In other words, this stroke wishes for the couple to grow old together.

The third line translates to, “three strokes, children and grandchildren cover the ground.”  This third stroke wishes for the bride to have many children, and children who survive to raise grandchildren.

The fourth line translates to, “four strokes, you’ll have fields and have land.”   This wishes for the wife-to-be to own property.

There are other significant gestures in this ritual as well.  The reason why my mother’s older sister combed her hair was because she was happily married, had children, and had a home.  Elder members of either family can comb the wife-to-be’s hair so long as they’re happily married and generally have experienced the wishes of this combing ceremony.  Widows or sickly wives can not perform this action.

After the combing ceremony, the wife-to-be can not sleep and must preserve the hair until the wedding.

There’s a lot going on in the gestures of this combing ceremony.  A happy marriage and future is very important, so it would make sense that this combing ceremony takes place.  The stressed need for a happily-wedded wife to perform this ceremony shows that theres is a form of contagious and homeopathic magic going on in the performance.  Since homeopathic magic follows a “like produces like” rationale, a happy wife combing a wife-to-be’s hair hopefully produces another happy wife.  On the other hand, the wife combing the wife-to-be’s hair acts as a form of transferrence.  She is transferring her happiness and successful marriage to the wife-to-be.

My mother noted that the fourth line was a recent addition.  With expanded rights and social roles for women, the wish for her ability to own property became very relevant.  This shows that the incantation and the practice of combing the wife-to-be’s hair is adaptive to changing circumstances.

Russian Wedding Traditions

Nationality: Russian
Age: 33
Occupation: Graduate student
Residence: Pasadena, CA
Performance Date: 4/16/13
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English, French, Czech

My informant is from Lipitsk, Russia. She moved to the United States for graduate studies, and is a graduate student at USC at the age of 33. I collected many superstitions from my informant, and also wedding traditions, using her own wedding as an example. My informant gave me many Russian wedding traditions. My informant is married to a man from the United States. Their wedding was in Russia, with the traditional elements. I asked my informant why she did all of these traditional things and she explained the importance of tradition in Russia. “Tradition is important to the family. There are certain expectations and you do not wan tot upset everyone. The structure is always there, and it works well. Russians are very traditional, it is just the way things are done. At my wedding, I wanted to show my in laws the Russian wedding and show them my culture. The M.C. brings the two families together. Like they have to do this special dance with each side of the family. One tradition is at the wedding receptions where when someone means a word translated to “sour or lemons”, the couple has to kiss.”

I thought this tradition was interesting because at my aunts wedding reception there was karaoke and anytime a song had the word “kiss” in it, a couple had to kiss.  My informant told me about an M.C. that is hired to run the wedding. There are many weddings games to play, and the M.C. facilitates bringing the two families together. My informant’s parents in law liked how involved they were able to be, as the groom’s parents.

There is another Russian superstition that says “if it is raining on your wedding day, you will be rich.”

Another tradition that I found especially interesting was that the bride will be “stolen” and the groom must buy her back. This is very similar to my informant from Bangladesh, where the groom’s side of the family had to pay to get in to the reception. Similarly, in Russian tradition, the bride’s shoe is often stolen, just as the groom’s shoes were stolen in the wedding from my informant from Bangladesh. My Russian informant said that the stealing of the shoes symbolizes a “loss of virginity.” It is interesting that these themes of buying back the bride and stealing of shoes come up in countries across the world.

Stealing the groom’s shoes

Nationality: Bangladesh
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/28/13
Primary Language: English

My informant is from Bangladesh and goes to school in Los Angeles. He is studying mechanical engineering in school. His sister got married last summer (he husband was also from Bangladesh) so I asked him about any wedding traditions. He told me about two, but they are related so I put them in one entry. The first is a tradition where someone from the bride’s side steals the grooms shoes during the ceremony and the groom must back whoever stole them a sum of money. The second is that the groom’s side of the family must pay the bride’s side at the door to get into the wedding reception, which is hosted by the bride’s family. It is sort of a joke and fun tradition.

Rebecca: Okay, so can you tell me about weddings?

I: Weddings, okay well my sister got married this past summer. So from personal experience, one of the customs is that someone from the bride’s family tries to steal the groom’s shoes. The idea is that you’ll steal them and eventually sell them back to the groom and make a prophet because the groom is going to want his shoes back, because they are his wedding shoes.

Rebecca: Like the ones that he is wearing?

I: The ones that he’s wearing, off his feet.

Rebecca: So when? After the wedding or before

I: During. At some point. Because customarily the groom is sitting for a large part of the wedding. So if you can creep in there under the table or something, or have people hold him down while you steal his shoes, that’s the thing. So my brother successfully stole his shoes. Its on video.

R: Your brother stole your brother in laws shoes, during the wedding? How did he do it? Like when?

I: He literally ran up and swiped them off his feet.

R: just like during the ceremony?

I: yeah, because you have to remember that they are kind of like Aladdain shoes, they are not tied on, and he sold them back for a large amount of money

R: And how do people react? Do they think that’s funny?

I: And everyone laughed. You don’t have to do it, its just a customary thing. Similarly, at the beginning of the wedding, the girl’s family, who’s throwing the wedding. The wedding reception is from the girl’s side. They bar the husband from entering, until they pay a large sum. At the gate. It is literally this large heckling battle between the groom’s side and the bride’s side. Where its like, “you can’t come in with all your guests until you pay.” It’s a total joke. Often they hand over like a suitcase full of money, which has like monopoly money you know inside. Its just fun and games.

R: So then after his shoes were stolen, he had to buy them back later. After the wedding or way later?

I: You talk about it after the wedding. Like my brother got a few hundred bucks

R: seriously?  So can anyone steal them? Or do you choose someone to do it beforehand?

I: Anyone on the bride’s side. Its anyone who is capable of doing it.

R: does this mean anything to you?

I: To me it shows that even at your wedding you are already having a good time with the other family.

My informant enjoys this tradition because it is pretty funny and amusing to watch. I think that this practice is important for weddings because it may help bring the two families closer together, if the bride’s side must steal the groom’s shoes. Also, the paying of money to enter the wedding reception is another way of bringing the families together. It seems that because more modern weddings do not require real money to enter the reception, the tradition has taken on more of a joking or playful side. The person who successfully stole the shoes was able to actually make money in this case. Additionally, I found this story very interesting because another one of my informants from Russia told me about a wedding tradition in which the bride’s show is stolen. (See my other entry for that story). I have also found through my collections a common theme of the different sides of the family paying each other, or stealing things from each other. These themes were seen both in this collection and my Russian wedding collections.

Weddings in Taiwan

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 10, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin

“One thing I remember is when my sister got married in Taiwan, there were a lot of Taiwanese traditions that we went through that I think are traditional marriage customs. Like, first my brother-in-law came to our ‘house’ that our family was in, and had to be welcomed in by us to get my sister or else he couldn’t come in the door. Then, he had to formally ask my parents if he could marry my sister, and then he had to bow and give my parents money. Then when my sister left ‘our house’ my little sister had to pick up a fan that my older sister threw out the car window and neither of them could look back and my little sister had to take the fan and put it under her pillow, which was one way to ensure a happy marriage. After that we moved to my brother-in-laws house, but before my sister entered, she had to step over a pot of fire onto a tile and the number of pieces the tile broke into signified the number of children they would have.”

My informant was unfamiliar with the traditions herself as she is Chinese and lived in America for most of her life, and found them very different and interesting. She was not really sure of the meaning for these traditions other than entering a new stage in life.

As discussed in class, marriage is one of the most celebrated occasions in life, so marriage traditions are abundant in most cultures. Now that I know may of the seemingly innocent traditions that people partake of are actually Freudian, I viewed these traditions in a similar light. I found it interesting that my informant’s sister had to step over a pot of fire before finding out how many prospective children she will likely have. This seems to have a Freudian angle as fire can signify passion and sexuality. Also, I have heard that fans can signify union, so perhaps the tossing of the fan can mean the new union formed and a loss of the female’s innocence, which the little sister keeps as she should still have this innocence. This may not be the actual significance of this action, but I interpreted it in this way. Other actions seem to show the traditional way of the woman leaving her home and entering her husband’s. At least in Korea, I know that often newly wed couples will live for a couple years with the husband’s parents. This seems significant in this particular wedding as well, as the husband “bought” his wife from her family by offering money, and they moved from her house to his.