Author Archives: johnscheffler

Step on a crack, break your mother’s back

Nationality: American
Age: 35
Occupation: Photographer
Residence: Seattle, Washington
Performance Date: March 2007
Primary Language: English
Language: Italian

My informant first heard this superstition during recess when she was in the first grade.  She happened to walk on the seams in a sidewalk and the girls she was playing with began to chant the superstition.  My informant had never heard the superstition before and, in the moment, she thought she had actually hurt her mother.  She started sobbing, because she knew how devastation a broken back could be.  Her friends found her crying and they came to comfort her until she stopped crying.  They explained that the connection between cracks and backs was just a superstition.

The whole experience was so traumatic for my informant that she can remember the day nearly perfectly and still thinks about it frequently.  She believes that the superstition was made by a mother who wanted their child to watch their step.  My informant said her daughter is always stepping in gum or dog droppings, and she would love for her daughter to be more cautious of her step. So, instead of getting her to be careful for the sake of her shoes, it’d be a lot easier to get her to be careful for the sake of her mother.  She also said that this superstition is mainly used by kids because only kids would believe in a connection between cracks in the sidewalk and their mother’s wellbeing.  My informant said that later in her childhood, even though she didn’t believe the superstition, she used to step on the cracks depending on her feelings about her mother at the time.  This gave her a way to vent some of her anger without actually causing harm to her mom.

I believe the superstition was started by a bored child who had to walk home from school everyday.  Personally, I only had to walk to my mother’s car, and even with this short distance, I know I stared at the sidewalk much longer than I ever should have.  After staring at the concrete for so long, it’s likely that such a rhyming superstition would be thought of.  Also, a popular variant suggests that stepping on a crack is bad luck in general, which puts both you and your mother at risk.  I believe the meaning behind the superstition is to watch your step, because if you don’t, you’re likely to trip or trod on something gross.

To Get Within a Gnat’s Eyelash [of something]

Nationality: American
Age: 64
Occupation: Consultant
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: April 2007

My informant works part-time for a small-sized consulting firm, and takes a lot of readings and data measurements as part of his job.  He hears this metaphor frequently when being assigned to do these readings, especially when he wants the data to be as accurate as possible.  He also uses this metaphor when critiquing the work of interns.  For the success of the consulting firm, it is important that data is read as accurately and precisely as possible.  My informant explained that if two consulting firms are competing for a contract, and one company’s readings are taken in tenth of units, and the second company’s readings are taken in hundredths of units, the second company will likely get the contract because of their attention to accuracy.

Although he’s heard and used the metaphor many times, my informant cannot remember where he first heard it.  He interprets the metaphor to be used as an indication of something of very small size, and that this logical reasoning is likely what has popularized this metaphor.  If a gnat is small and an eyelash is small, then a gnat’s eyelash must be very tiny.  He also knows he has heard the phrase used in two ways: 1) with ‘within’ to indicate a small margin of error, and 2) with ‘as small as’ to describe how miniature something appears.

I have also heard this metaphor with respect to taking and recording data, and I believe it’s commonly used as a clever way of saying something commonplace in dull mathematical fields.

Cielito Lindo

Nationality: Mexican-American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: February 2007
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

SourceURL:file://localhost/Volumes/HP%20V125W/SP%2007%20FL&PC%20COLLECTS/Scheffler/1.%20Spanish%20Folksong.doc

“Cielito Lindo”

Ay, ay ay ay
Cantar no llores
Porque Cantando se alegran,
Cielito lindo,
Los corazones

Translation:

Ay, ay ay ay
Sing and don’t cry
Because singing, my Beautiful Heaven,
Gladdens the heart

 

My informant first learned this song as a child, when his father would sing it to him as a lullaby.   His father is Mexican and his mother is Caucasian, and he was traditionally raised in the American sense, learning English and not Spanish.  In fact, the only Spanish he knows is this Mexican folksong, and he is not able to translate it.  He sings this song when he’s bored, to break an awkward silence, and just to be obnoxious.  In fact, he once removed the last three lines with “Please leave a mess-age/and I’ll get back to you/as soon as I ca-an” and used the song as his phone’s voicemail message.

While it may seem pointless to recite the folksong considering he does not even know what the lyrics stand for, my informant believes the song is his only link to that part of his heritage, and when he sings it, he feels closer to his dad and that part of his family tree.  He believes that it used by others for the very same reason, to connect with the history of their ancestors.

When translated, the song is about how singing will protect your heart from sorrow.  In Mexican tradition, Cielito Lindo represents a lovely stranger.

“The Thunderstorm”

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Poway, California
Performance Date: March 2007
Primary Language: English

While the victim is unsuspecting or away, perpetrators will fill an empty, large trash bin full of water.  Then, when the victim leaves to use a public restroom and selects a stall, the perpetrators will dump the huge amount of water over the door of the stall, flicker the lights, and bang on the sides of the stall, simulating a thunderstorm.  Of course, the idea is to completely drench the victim while they are absolutely defenseless, with their pants down. This will put the victim in a completely uncomfortable position, at least until they can change their clothes. 

 

My source first learned of this practical joke when he found himself victimized.  Last year he lived in an on-campus dormitory, where between 20 and 30 male students live on a floor together and share a large, public-style bathroom.  Another student had heard of this prank and had been dying all semester to pull it off.

At the time, my source had changed into some comfortable clothes and was about to settle down and type out a report for one of his classes.  As time passed, he had to use the restroom.  Of course, the other student had filled a trash can with water earlier in the day and was waiting for this exact moment.  With the help of two other students, the perpetrator was able to dump the bin full of water onto my source.

“I was tired from writing the paper, and a bucket-full of water was what I least expected.  So, yes, I was completely shocked,” reported my source.  His first reaction was to cover up and get out of there as soon as he could.  Then he changed his clothes and set out to find the perpetrators. My source was not angry and realized that in the long run, this would be a funny story to tell, and this is why he decided to share this practical joke with me.

Many instances of practical jokes can be attributed to rites of passage.  The student who first had the idea had waited all year to feel comfortable enough around someone to make them the victim of this practical joke without them having hard feelings.  In this sense, my source had gone from friend to trusted-friend in the eyes of the perpetrator, and this prank was his rite of passage.

Dead Baby Joke

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Seattle, Washington
Performance Date: March 2007
Primary Language: English

Q: What do you get when you stab a baby?

A: An Erection.

 

While this joke is gruesome and terrible in every conceivable way, it is my informant’s absolute favorite joke.  He first heard it from one of his friends in high school.  My informant had just told a sexist joke about Helen Keller not being able to drive well because she was a woman. His friend sneered and replied, “You think that joke is bad?”  Then, he continued to tell my informant this joke.

My informant explained that when the question was asked, all he could think of was how terrible it sounded to stab an infant.  Before he could even begin to construct a reasonable response, his friend delivered the punch line.  Of course, such an awful and perverse response is completely unexpected.  My informant “nearly died” from laughter and claims to have never laughed as hard since.

Of course, no one in their right mind would stab a baby.  Also, only the most indecent of all people could receive enough satisfaction from such an act to sexually arouse themselves.  However, in the context of the joke, it makes sense and is humorous (to some) to think that someone would suggest that anyone would feel that way.

The joke works like many others because it delivers an appropriate incongruity. It’s an incongruity because no one expects the answer they receive, and appropriate because it’s funny to think the joke-teller could be that disturbed.  But they’re not, so it’s humorous.  So, in this case, we’re presented with an inappropriate appropriate incongruity.  This joke belongs to a series of similar, equally gruesome ‘dead baby jokes’ that are shared between my informant and his close friends from high school.