Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

Diwali traditions

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 28, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi

My informant was born and raised in Fresno, California. His parents immigrated to the United States from India. He described the traditions his family has to celebrate the Indian holiday of Diwali:

“What Diwali basically is, is actually the festival of lights. Me and my family, we celebrate it every year around October. It’s always towards the end of October but the actual date changes every year. So this year, it was actually when I was away at college. So what we did is I ‘webcammed’ with my mom, and the webcam was right there, and I saw all the rituals they were doing. And there’s actually two days of it. So we light candles, and the candles are supposed to represent purity and they’re supposed to guard us from all the impure things that happen in our house, like greed and dishonesty. And by lighting the candles, that gets rid of all of that. So the first day, they light up twelve candles, and the second day, which is the main day, they light up twenty-one candles. There’s twenty small candles in a circle and in the middle is one bigger candle. By candle, I mean something called a diya, which is like a wooden pot, so to speak. The bigger candle is supposed to be lit all night, and my mom usually stays up all night to like, protect it and see if it’s lighting up. And usually, our tradition is we stay up all night and play games and invite some family friends over. What we do on the second day is, after we’re done with the prayers and stuff is we eat. My mom always makes really good food. It changes every year based on our preferences, but it’s always our favorite food. So it’s a really huge deal for us and other Indian families. And three, four weeks before and after Diwali there’s always parties—Indian get-togethers—where everyone wears Indian clothes. And it’s always a big deal. We always call our relatives in India, wish them a happy Diwali. We light fireworks. Decorations include lights around our whole house—like Christmas lights—so usually our lights stay up from Diwali until Christmas.”

Diwali is a holiday rich in rituals that have been around for centuries, but my informant updated it in a way by participating in the rituals via webcam. They used new technology to perpetuate their old traditions. Like many folklore traditions, Diwali is unifying for my informant’s family; they make an effort to call each other to wish each other happy Diwali despite being thousands of miles away. It is interesting how one element of the holiday—the lights strung around the house—carry over so seamlessly from Diwali to Christmas. Despite the vast differences between these two holidays, they both incorporate decorative lights. Yet as my informant explained, the lights for Diwali are integral to the significance and meaning of the holiday in a deeper way than they are for Christmas. He said that the lights around the house and the candles lit inside the home are believed to protect the family from impurities. It is a pretty literal symbol, with the light combatting the darkness in the way that pure virtues should combat evil ones, but it is a beautiful one nonetheless. The beauty of the holiday paired with its religious and cultural significance as well as its unifying nature make it a very special one for people all over the world.

Rakhi

Nationality: Indian-American
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 28, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Hindi

My informant was born and raised in Fresno, California. His parents immigrated to the United States from India. He described the traditions his family has to celebrate the Indian holiday of Rakhi:

“Rakhi takes place in late August, and it basically resembles protection from one sibling to another sibling, mainly from a brother to a sister or a sister to a brother. I personally have a sister, and every August we celebrate Rakhi. What happens in Rakhi is we pass each other bracelets made of twine, sort of like friendship bracelets. And it’s not even just to my sister. My cousins from Canada, India, and like other parts of the U.S. like Chicago and New York, they always send us little bracelets in envelopes every single year. And um, we… My sister and I, we tie them on each other. We select a few and tie them on each other. And my parents do the same thing too, it’s not just for people our age. My mom has three or four siblings, and she always gets bracelets form her brothers and sisters, and same with my dad. Rakhi is really nice because it just shows the love between a brother and a sister, and it shows how much a brother protects a sister, and the love that a sister provides. And usually the guy gives his sister money, and the sister gives the brother some gifts.”

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are widely celebrated holidays in the United States, but in the U.S., the relationship between siblings is not commemorated in the way that Rakhi celebrates it. My informant is glad to have the chance to specially acknowledge his younger sister and to honor her in a traditional way. The actual actions involved seem relatively simple; the bracelets and gifts exchanged between siblings are not fancy and the phone calls shared between relatives would not take a huge amount of effort. Even so, it is wonderful to have a special day reserved for these small gestures that can make a big impact. It is interesting how this holiday perpetuates gender roles in a subtle way. The males are expected to protect the females; my informant says part of the reason the holiday is important is because it commemorates the way brothers protect their sisters. The females are expected to support their brothers in return. Even so, the underlying message of the entire holiday is the love siblings have for each other, and that is what my informant focuses on.

Ethiopian wedding traditions

Nationality: Ethiopian-American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 28, 2013
Primary Language: English

My informant’s parents immigrated to the United States from Ethiopia. My informant grew up in Washington, D.C., where she says there is a large Ethiopian community. This her explanation of Ethiopian wedding customs:

“I go to a lot of Ethiopian weddings every summer, and they’re all pretty similar. The only ones that are like, really different are when people try to Americanize them. That’s always really awkward because half the people there don’t approve. So yeah, I usually go to around twelve every summer, and they’re all pretty repetitive. The one main thing that would make a wedding different is if it’s held in the orthodox church. Those ceremonies are pretty much exactly the same. Um, they are using Amharic, which is like the main Ethiopian language. It’s the one that’s spoken by the most people. But they’re kind of using the old form of it, so it’s words that aren’t really used outside of a religious setting. And there’s three priests that preside over that ceremony. And it’s really long, and they burn incense, and it’s like… it just goes on forever. When you go in the orthodox church, you have to take off your shoes. It’s a sign of respect. Um… Oh, and the people who are getting married are wearing, like, robes. They’re really heavy and they’re kind of made of like, velvet or suede, I think. The stitching and the designs are usually flowers and crosses—crosses are always a big theme—and they’re stitched with very heavy gold fabric, and they’re very detailed and rigid. They’re not very comfortable. And the people getting married are also wearing crowns that are made out of the same fabric. Um… And… In preparation for the wedding, the bride is like… It’s done at like a close family member’s house, it can’t be done at your own house. But like, the bride is kind of like, prepared and dressed, and there’s singing and dancing and talking. And it’s mostly women. Like, men can there, but they’re usually not. They’re usually with the groom. It’s like the Ethiopian version of bachelorette party, sort of, but it’s like, right before the wedding. So all the family is there, and so are all the bride’s close female friends. So I mean, I guess they’re less lively when it’s an orthodox wedding, because if the wedding is orthodox, it’s likely to be really early in the morning. So it can be at like 6 AM. I’ve been to a few that are at like, ten or eleven, but that’s not normal. And the ones that are still in churches but are not orthodox are usually at ten or eleven. The reception isn’t until much later, so in between, there’s usually like, a big break where people just go home or do whatever they want. Or at least in Washington, D.C., everyone always goes to the same park and takes pictures for hours. And there’s food there—Ethiopian food—like injera and types of sauces that are very similar to curry. So everyone eats and socializes.”

My informant had a lot to say on wedding traditions because weddings are so ritualized. They commemorate a liminal period in a person’s life—the time between being completely single and being married—so there are multitudes of traditions in every culture that surround weddings. Some aspects of Ethiopian weddings are similar to common Americanized wedding traditions, such as the separation of the actual ceremony from the reception and the “bachelorette party”. Yet there are a number of obvious differences, such as the clothing that is worn and the time of day that the ceremony takes place. My informant alluded to the fact that many elements of Ethiopian weddings are considered traditional, and according to a portion of the Ethiopian community in Washington, D.C., they should not be altered. However, as cultures continue to blend in America, the mixing of “traditional” elements is becoming more and more common.

Ethiopian wedding receptions

Nationality: Ethiopian-American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 28, 2013
Primary Language: English

My informant’s parents immigrated to the United States from Ethiopia. My informant grew up in Washington, D.C., where she says there is a large Ethiopian community. She had so much to say about Ethiopian wedding ceremonies that I decided to include her description of the wedding receptions as a separate entry. This is her account:

“Ethiopian wedding receptions are always the same. They’re always really late. They’re scheduled at like, six or seven, but most people I know call it APT: Abidjan People Time. Abidjan refers to people from like, Ethiopia or Eritrea, which used to be part of Ethiopia. Um… But yeah, way more people always go to the reception than the actual ceremony. Like, two to three times as many people, because of the food. And the food is being prepared all day. So a lot of people who actually don’t go to the ceremony are like, in the kitchen all day preparing food because it can take a long tie. Like, I don’t have any family here, but my mom usually involved in that process. That’s a very social aspect of it. People usually wear… It depends on the family-friend circle that it is, but people can be wearing anything from very generalized Americanized dresses to people who do a hybrid. So it’ll be a dress made out of the same fabric, so it’s all like, cotton with the cross design. But they make it in American silhouettes, kind of, if that makes sense. Or they just wear their traditional habesha-quemis, so I have worn many of those. Usually if you’re at the age of like, fourteen, your mom is usually making you wear that. Guys don’t wear traditional clothing as much as girls do, not even in Ethiopia, because it’s just… I don’t know why. They just don’t. But my brothers definitely did when they were younger, when they were eight and under. So there’s a lot of dancing at the reception. And that’s when the bride gets up. And you’re not supposed to start eating at the reception until the bride gets there, which is really annoying especially when the bride is three hours late, which has happened before. So then… there’s a lot of dancing. It gets really loud and people get really drunk. And there’s just more socializing, and it’ll go to like, two or three in the morning. There’s loud Ethiopian music, which is very fast. I’ve never really heard a slow Ethiopian song unless it’s like, at church, but that’s not what they’re playing at a wedding. There will usually be someone there with a drum that’s basically the size of their body, and it’s strapped on to them, and when they hit the drum they’re completely turning and spinning. They throw their entire body into it. So it’s kind of like a dance ceremony. There’s one part when first all the women go out and dance with the bride, and then all the men go out and dance with the groom, and then everyone dances together. That usually happens a couple hours after the ceremony has been going on.”

Wedding receptions tend to be the time when people can let loose and truly celebrate the wedding ceremony that has just occurred. They have more relaxed environments, and people can freely express the joy of the new marriage. Ethiopian wedding receptions are no exception; they are very celebratory. My informant values and appreciates actual wedding ceremonies, but she admits that the receptions are more fun. As she said, many more people attend the reception than the ceremony for that reason—and for the food. This is another celebration in which food plays an important role, as people spend the entire day preparing food, which is later enjoyed by all of the guests. At Ethiopian wedding receptions, they serve food that the guests all recognize as being traditionally Ethiopian. For the Ethiopians who attend the weddings my informant described, this food is a comforting reminder of their country of origin. Along with the music, the special clothing, and the other Ethiopian elements, the food ties these reception attendees to their home country and to each other.

Ethiopian naming customs

Nationality: Ethiopian-American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 28, 2013
Primary Language: English

My informant is from Washington, D.C. Her parents immigrated to the United States from Ethiopia. This her explanation of the customs surrounding the naming of newborn children in Ethiopian families:

“A lot of times, it’s a sign of respect—not necessarily for your first child, but for your second child—you will like, allow your parents to name them. But actually naming someone after someone else in your family is definitely a Westernized thing, at least in comparison to Ethiopian culture. Um… but there’s not really any repetition of names in Ethiopian families. So your dad’s… either your dad’s first name is your last name, or that’s your middle name and your paternal grandfather’s name is your last name. Um, the way my parents did it was that my dad’s name is my last name. I don’t have a middle name, um because it was like, easier, and the insurance companies wouldn’t let them do otherwise. So, yeah. And women don’t take their husband’s last name. So it’s like really hard to trace your family lineage.”

Although my informant says that Ethiopian families do not usually name their children after family members and that there is not any repetition of names within families, they do pass on the father or paternal grandfather’s name, so in a sense, those names are repeated. The tradition of keeping the father’s name in the family by using it as the child’s last name is indicative that Ethiopia is a patriarchal society: the father’s name is given to the next generation, whereas the mother’s name is not. However, Ethiopian women do keep their own last names when they marry, so in that sense, they have a certain independence from their husbands that Western women typically do not.