Category Archives: Proverbs

Main Piece: “Work smarter, not harder”

Nationality: American
Age: 63
Occupation: Real Estate
Residence: CO
Performance Date: 04/26/2021
Primary Language: English

Background: The informant is devoted to his career. He has always had an entrepreneurial mindset and loves to succeed. Throughout his life, he has jumped on every career opportunity and worked as hard as necessary to feel fulfilled. That being said, in retrospect, he wishes that he had taken an alternative route to success. He assumed that the only way to reach his goals was to be the hardest worker in the room, but he sees now that there is a difference between working hard and working smart. 

Context: 

“I wish my dad had explained to me: Work smarter, not harder. That’s why I’m telling you this, once again, to really ingrain it in your mind. It’s something my father didn’t teach me, so I am gonna make sure you know it. There is no substitution for being a hard worker. Don’t get me wrong… drive, work ethic, commitment, you need those traits to get to the level of success I know you want. But, you also need to be efficient. Don’t waste energy. Optimize energy. Take the allocated time and make the most of it because you chose to work smart. It’s all about strategy. It is pointless to kill yourself over endless hours and sleepless nights. Just because you are torturing yourself through exhaustion doesn’t mean you are better than the next guy. It just means you aren’t being thoughtful. Every move you make as a professional should be purposeful and worthwhile, not done just for the sake of putting in the effort. We know you can work your ass off. You’ve done that throughout your entire academic career, and there is no one better at putting her head down and grinding. But, you need to show me- show yourself- that you can work intelligently. When you can do that, you can reach your goals, and take some time to enjoy that success. It’s a fault that I should have corrected long ago… I need to learn to relax and this is a way to get there.”  

Thoughts: This proverb from my dad is one that has really shifted the way I do work. He has given me this short lecture on the saying too many times to count because he believes in its power so passionately. The proverb is simple and short but definitely impacts the decisions I make on a daily basis. It is a phrase that I will share with my children, especially because my dad has put such emphasis on the fact that he wished he had known from his father that there is more than one route to success. 

The “Golden Rule”

Nationality: Vietnamese-American
Age: 10
Occupation: Elementary School Student
Residence: Iowa
Performance Date: 5/1/2021
Primary Language: English

Main Piece:

B: The golden rule is like “treat others the way you want to be treated,” so that’s the golden rule.

Me: How did you first learn about it?

B: So basically, during soccer, this kid bumped into another kid, because he was trying to get the ball from him. But the other kid- who got bumped into- thought it was on purpose, and he thought the other kid was trying to hurt him or something- so he like- he thought it was on purpose so he tackled him. And then a teacher- she saw it so she came over and she said, “Don’t do that anymore,” and then after we went inside, the principal went to every classroom and said, “Treat others how you want to be treated. If you treat somebody good then they will treat you good back.” So that’s the whole story.

Background: 

My informant is my cousin’s 10-year-old son, who is in the fourth grade. He lives in a suburban neighborhood near Des Moines, which is the capital of Iowa. He goes to a public elementary school in his district, which is where this soccer incident happened. At the time, he was in the 1st grade, and the lesson from it still stays with him today. He tells me that believes in the golden rule, and has applied it in his own life to resolve issues between friends. He explains that every year, he and his friends have a nerf war that involved building forts. Each time, his friends would get into an argument about where and how to build the forts. He tells me that one year, he was tired of them fighting and told them the golden rule, which made them stop, and in his words, “hear each other out.”

Context:

This is a transcript of our conversation over the phone. Lately, he has been telling me stories about what goes on during school, though this conversation was prompted specifically for this collection project. I was curious about what he learned the “golden rule” to be.

Thoughts:

I remember learning about the “golden rule” when I was also in elementary school, though it came from another child on the playground. Often, it was said in an instance where someone was being mean to another person. Hence, it was used as a sort of chiding for bad behavior. It was interesting to find out that my cousin’s son understood and believed the rule to be “treat others how you want to be treated,” as it was relayed to him by teachers, and to also continue the lesson to his friends since another variation I learned from other students was “do unto others how they have done to you,” as a way of justifying revenge. Because the “golden rule” is so ubiquitous, the choice of what its definition is can be very telling of what principle or virtue is valued. In my cousin’s son’s case, kindness is most important. 

“Thầng nào cùng muốn làm cha” Vietnamese Proverb

Nationality: Vietnamese-American
Age: 53
Occupation: Mail Clerk
Residence: Iowa
Performance Date: 2/15/2021
Primary Language: Vietnamese

“Thầng nào cùng muốn làm cha”

  • Transliterated Proverb
    • Thầng: kid, brat (informal and familiar word to refer to a person; people of the same age can call each other this without it being disrespectful unless the disrespect is intended. An older person can call a younger person this without it being inappropriate, or a person in power can call their subordinate this. However, if a younger person calls an older person this, or a subordinate calls their superior this, it is very disrespectful and inappropriate)
    • Nào: every, all
    • Cũng: also
    • Muốn: want
    • Làm: do, be
    • Cha: father
  • Full translation: Every brat wants to be the father
    • Explanation: Vietnamese society is patriarchal, so the position of the father is the highest authority and demands the most respect from those under them. My father explains to me that this phrase can be used in a critical way, in contexts where a person may be overstepping their authority or is inappropriately or annoyingly trying to exert power over others. It can also be used more casually to call attention to a situation where everyone in a group is trying to give orders, and no progress is being made. In this way, it can also be used to diffuse a tense situation where everyone is trying to lead at the same time.

Thoughts:

I like this proverb because it succinctly describes a complex situation. The word “thầng” is difficult to translate directly into English because it captures a dynamic of social positions that depends on the context of its usage, which does not really exist in the same way in the English language or American culture. Depending on who is saying this proverb and to whom they are saying it to can change the meaning. I like how it can be used in a critical way; to criticize someone overexerting power. Yet, it can also be sarcastic and playful within a group of friends to point out the silliness of people not listening to each other.

“Cây muốn lặng mà gió chẳng chịu đừng” Vietnamese Proverb

Nationality: Vietnamese-American
Age: 53
Occupation: Mail Clerk
Residence: Iowa
Performance Date: 2/15/2021
Primary Language: Vietnamese

“Cây muốn lặng mà gió chẳng chịu đừng”

  • Transliterated Proverb:
    • Cây: tree
    • Muốn: want
    • Lặng: still (motion)
    • Mà: but
    • Gió: wind
    • Chẳng: do not want
    • Chịu: bear (endure)
    • Đừng: stop
  • Full translation: The tree wants to stay still, but the wind refuses to stop
    • Explanation: This proverb is referring to two people. One is the tree, and the other is the wind. The person who says this proverb in conversation is the tree, to say that the other person will not stop whatever they’re doing, which is directly affecting, pushing around, annoying, etc. the speaker. This implies that if the annoyance will not stop, then the tree will be forced to take action and make them stop. My father explains to me that sometimes, this entails a physical altercation. In his words, “Stop, or I’m gonna punch you.” 

Thoughts:

I love this proverb because, in Vietnamese, it sounds quite poetic. However, per my father’s explanation, its usage can conversely be quite gritty and unromantic. I find this dichotomy humorous. Looking at the proverb alone, I first thought that it referred to a person’s tough journey, and how their obstacles will not seem to cease. I thought it was melancholy and meaningful to how a person can endure so much. I was shocked to learn from my father that it instead is more of a warning, or in some cases, a threat. 

“Ta về ta tắm ao ta” Vietnamese Proverb

Nationality: Vietnamese
Age: 81
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Iowa
Performance Date: 4/2/2021
Primary Language: Vietnamese

“Ta về ta tắm ao ta”

  • Transliterated proverb:
    • Ta: I, me
    • Về: home
    • Tằm: shower, bath, bathe
    • Ao: pond
  • Full translation: I will return home and bathe in my own pond
    • Explanation: An American equivalent of this proverb would be “There is no place better than home.” Thus, this proverb means the best place is home, and could otherwise be stated as “I would rather go home and bathe in my own pond.” My grandmother explains that this proverb could be used to describe a situation where you have traveled to another country, but facing difficulties there makes you realize that your home country was better. It can also be generally referring to another person’s home or an unfamiliar place that is otherwise not your own home. Within the meaning of this proverb is the possibility of the other country, the unfamiliar place, or stranger’s home being wealthier, shinier, or more glamorous than your country or your home. Yet, she explains, at least your home is yours, thus, the wealthier place is not necessarily better.

Thoughts:

I like this proverb because I believe that it attests to the culture of my family and the culture I was raised in. When my grandmother was raising my father and his siblings, Vietnam was in the midst of war, and then had to rebuild after the war. Because of this, financial instability was common. The principle of being only concerned with how you are doing and taking care of your home rather than desiring another person’s wealth shines through those circumstances and has followed how my parents raised me. I remember wanting to sleep over at my cousins’ houses often when I was younger, and sometimes complaining to my parents about things they can do or have that I cannot do or have. My parents always responded then that I should want to sleep in my own house and that “it doesn’t matter what someone else has” and reminded me to be grateful for the things that are mine. This sentiment has always been with my grandmother as well, who once expressed to me how “the best place is home” to explain why she turned down my uncle’s offer for her to live with him for a few months in California.