Category Archives: Proverbs

Italian Family Drama Proverb

Nationality: United States
Age: 52
Occupation: Business Consultant
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/19/2021
Primary Language: English

Background: My informant is a 52-year-old with Italian heritage. Both his mother and father are from Mola di Bari, a seaside town in Southern Italy. The informant was born in Toronto, Canada and moved to Santa Monica, California at a young age. While he was not born or raised in Italy, the strong Italian roots in his family meant that Italian culture and tradition was still very prevalent in his household. The informant is also my father.

Context: I spoke to the informant while eating dinner with my family and I addressed the topic of folklore to him to see what interesting things he knew about the Italian side of my family.

Main Piece: The informant told me about an Italian proverb that he has heard used in his household which states: “Every family has their own candle to burn”. The informant interprets this as a way of saying that no family is perfect and every family has their own issues to deal with. The informant also mentioned that the candle is quite significant in Italian culture, which is heavily influenced by Catholicism, and that there is deep symbolism of candles in Catholic traditions.

Interpretation: Having never heard this proverb before, I became interested in the symbolic significance of candles in Italian culture that the informant mentioned. After doing a little bit of research I discovered that the burning of candles is used to represent prayer and worship in the Catholic church. After thinking about it, the saying “Every family has their own candle to burn” essentially means that every family has their own problems and conflicts to pray for, as prayers are often used to ask God for aid to relieve a certain conflict or fix a certain problem.

Armenian Proverb – The Prudent Man

Nationality: Armenian
Age: 24
Occupation: Medical Biller
Residence: Burbank, California
Performance Date: February 11, 2021
Primary Language: Armenian
Language: English, Russian

Main Piece

Original Script

Մինչեվ խոհեմ մարդը մտածում է, խենթը գետի ափին է և հեռու:

Phonetic Script

Minchev khoem marduh mdatsumeh, khentuh geti apineh yev herru.

Transliteration

Until the smart man thinks, the fool on shore he is and far.

Translation

“While the prudent man is considering, the fool is across the river and away”

(Some parts of this conversation took place in Armenian and have been translated to English.)

Background

Informant: There is a saying, I don’t know if you know it, it goes “Մինչեվ խոհեմ մարդը մտածում է, խենթը գետի ափին է և հեռու” [“While the prudent man is considering, the fool is across the river and away”]. My grandpa used to say this to my dad. 

Me: And what does this mean to you?

Informant: Well, in Armenia we say this because we see the differences between the smart man and the fool. The fool is not afraid of crossing the river because he doesn’t understand what is in it. He is pretty much living in his own world, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. You know how they say in English “ignorance is bliss?”

Me: Yeah I’ve heard that a lot.

Informant: Yeah. So this is kind of saying that. The smart man will spend his life contemplating what is the right thing to do, but the fool won’t because he basically doesn’t even know that there is anything to contemplate. 

Me: Yeah I understand, so the moral of this proverb is to take action.

Informant: Yeah, but also don’t be the fool. Think about what you’re doing, but don’t spend your life thinking about it. Take action. In a way, it’s telling you to be just a little bit like the fool. Because, in the end, who is enjoying their life more? Who is living their life to the fullest?

Together: The fool.

Informant: Exactly yeah. 

Context 

This proverb is told to teach people not to overthink. My informant heard her grandfather tell her dad this proverb in a casual setting. 

My Thoughts

I had not heard of this proverb before, but it has a message very much like “carpe diem.” While it does criticize the fool for not being careful, it also admires the fool’s confidence and initiative, and almost urges the audience to be more like the fool. The wise man will spend his whole life thinking about what he should do to get the best results in his life, and by the time he arrives at a conclusion, his life has passed him by. The fool is already “across the river and away,” and he lived his life without the stress of constant deliberation and overthinking. 

Frat Party Guidelines

Nationality: American
Age: 23
Occupation: Masters Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 5/3/2021
Primary Language: English

AB: “What sort of unusual or special traditions does your frat have?”

RD: “Oh my god, you want the tea. Oh my god I feel embarrassed thinking because they’re just all so dumb. Oh, I have a good one, it’s called—you’re gonna laugh. It’s called “No Crying Bitches on the Stairs”

AB: “So what is this… stairs thing? Is it a chant?”

RD: “It’s a rule. A mantra. We would say it before parties and stuff.”

AB: “Okay, why don’t you tell me how it started”

RD: “Let’s see, I think this is what I was told. There was a girl at one of our house parties, and I think her boyfriend was there and he just broke up with her or something, so she started crying on the stairs. And it was just… chaotic, I guess. It’s like, a small staircase, so people were stuck upstairs and downstairs and like people were all around her trying to cheer her up making it even worse, and somebody even fell off at one point and I think they broke a foot or something. Anyway, I think they got suspended for a while because there were so many people there it was a fire hazard. So ever since then, well, no crying bitches on the stairs!

AB: “Oh I see. So how does it turn up now?”

RD: “Well, we usually like, chant it before we host a party. Somebody asks, “What’s the number one rule!?” and then we shout, “No crying bitches on the stairs!” It really just means nobody on the stairs just hanging out. Like it doesn’t matter if they’re actually crying or a bitch. But it’s basically just the number one rule of party monitoring. So like, whoever is in charge of hosting the party just has to keep an eye on the stairs.

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “What does this rule say about your frat?”

RD: “Well, I think it reflects what’s going in frat culture just kinda in general, you know. Like I feel like frats get criticized a lot now for drinking and drug problems, and I know my frat has been suspended a bunch recently for stuff like that. But anyway, now frats are having to like figure out how they can still keep being frats with a fun party identity, and also be safe and responsible. And I think “No crying bitches on the stairs” is like, one way that’s happening. .”

Personal interpretation:

Chants are a well-known aspect of Greek life, and they’re typically easy to remember and fun to repeat or say. In this case, the chant shows how a newer concern for personal safety has entered into familiar and easily transmissible forms of Greek life-culture.

Sick-but-Safe

Nationality: American
Age: 23
Occupation: Masters Student
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 5/3/2021
Primary Language: English

Main description:

AB: “So, what other types of unique chants does your frat have?”

RD: “We have so many you have no idea. Let’s see, it’s hard to think of them. Because there’s some I can’t tell you. Oh, I know one. It’s, “Sick but Safe.”

AB: “How did “sick but safe” start?”
RD: “This was one I was there for! We were at a chapter meeting, and like most of the house was there, and we were talking about logistics and stuff for Formal. I think a couple of frats were suspended around that time, or something, because I remember we were paranoid about the university suspending us too down if we were too rowdy. Anyway, somebody asked a question about something, I don’t remember, and this one guy stood up all dramatic and then said really slow, “Make it sick, but safe.” And we all just started laughing. And ever since then we just say it all the time.”

AB: “Awesome. When would you say “sick but safe,” and what does it mean?”

RD: “I mean, we chant it before parties a lot. It’s one the rules we go through before we go to parties a lot of the time. So if we’re all going to something we’ll shout it in the bus. Then it usually means like, have fun, but don’t black out or throw up or something. But it’s also like, something you can really say whenever. It’s started as a chant, but it’s really like seeped into frat slang—frat vernacular. Like, somebody could say, “That presentation was sick-but-safe!” Well, I don’t think anybody ever said that, but you get what I mean.”

AB: “So in that case, what would sick-but-safe mean?”

RD: “Umm, I guess that your presentation was good but it was also fun to watch. Like, you said what you needed to, but you also were funny.”

AB: “So, if you said sick-but-safe to anyone on campus, would they know what it meant.”

RD: “No, it’s definitely kept within our frat. It’s not like a secret, I would say, but it’s—it’s that we don’t really share chants and stuff with other frats.”

AB: “Do you know if other frats have chants with similar meanings?”

RD: “Um, I’m sure they do. But I don’t know them.”

Informant’s interpretation:

AB: “So, what does sick-but-safe mean in general, and why does your frat say it?”

RD: “I think it says a lot about our mindset. Like I was saying, frat culture gets a lot more criticism now than it used so I think they’re all having to kind of adapt to stay frats. So sick-but-safe caught on I think because it sort of captures that, and it’s an easy way to say it.”

Personal interpretation:

The informant emphasizes that fraternity culture at his school (a small, liberal arts college in the South) balances irreverence with responsibility. “Sick-but-safe” helps to articulate this balance. Curiously, it is unique to the informant’s fraternity (other campus fraternities would not say it nor understand what it means,) so it may be that other frats may have sayings/words with similar meanings.

Main Piece: “Just because there is a goalie in the net, does not mean that you can’t score a goal”

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: CA
Performance Date: 04/20/2021
Primary Language: English

Background: This is a saying that the informant learned from her friends at summer camp when she was in grade school. She attended a co-ed summer camp and as a way to keep themselves entertained, the kids would have crushes and say they were dating just because they held hands on the way to the dining hall one night. Because they were at summer camp and playing sports, the kids would say this proverb as a way to indicate that even if your crush had was in a relationship with some else, it did not mean you were out of luck or didn’t have a shot. 

Context: the informant still uses this proverb in her 20s, but the intention behind the saying has changed. When at summer camp, the campers did not realize in their youth that ‘homewrecking’ is socially unacceptable. They saw were so immersed in the competitive culture of camp that a sports metaphor for the romantic and social elements of life there seemed fitting. Now, the informant uses this phrase as more of a mocking joke. She will say it to one of her friends if they see a cute guy, but he happens to be in a relationship. She does not expect her friend to take the saying seriously or act on the meaning. It is interesting how the significance of this proverb has shifted from adolescence to adulthood. At camp, the kids were genuinely encouraging fighting for their crush, even if it meant hurting someone else; now, we can tease our friends in the same context, but with different intentions.

Thoughts: I have heard this saying outside of the informant’s interview and I have always found it to be humorous and I suppose true, but not something to take seriously. What I find interesting about this proverb, in particular, is that it is dependent on interpretation. The person listening to this word of advice can either hear it as ridiculous and funny or they can take it to heart and cause issues. The impact that his proverb has left the listener as an amused audience member or a person who is about to really damage someone else’s relationship. It is very black and white how this saying is received and depends greatly on who is hearing it- as well as their age, sex, and willingness to take charge versus be passive.