Category Archives: Humor

Row Your Boat Parody; Swim Ye Sperm

Informant was a teacher of sixth grade science for several years at a private, US K-12 school in the South.

Swim, swim, swim you sperm
From the testicles
to the epididymis
and onto vas deferens
Snack, snack, snack you sperm
on the sweets galore
From the seminal vesicle
not the grocery store
On, on, on you go
through the donut hole,
the prostate press
shoots you out
It is the great escape! 
(last line preformed as goodness what a mess, but when dictated out loud this was the last line used)
Swim, Swim, Swim Ye Sperm Preformed

Informant created this parody of row, row, row your boat for her sixth grade science classes when they learned the reproductive system. Her goal was to ease some of the awkwardness of the subject of genitals for middle school students by having them sing a silly, goofy song to both help them remember the reproductive system and to normalize the discussion of the topic. The other teacher that taught sixth grade students did not teach their students the song, so it became an identifiable marker of who was or was not in the informant’s class or associated with her. Additionally, because the song was so absurd, students often remembered the informant by this song she taught them.

As the informant’s daughter and with features that bare resemblance to her, I would be approached by random students several times throughout my years at the school she taught at. They would ask “Are you [informant]’s daughter?”, and when I replied that I was, they would explain that they were in her sixth grade science class and still remembered the song she taught them and then they would sing it to me.

The American School System has a long history of lacking when it comes to sexual education. Many students’ sex education can be summed up by the word “abstinence”. Although the private school this song was taught at did not have an extensive or even satisfactory sex education, it did have material covering the reproductive systems of males and females and how they worked individually. The conservative approach to the discussion of sex, sexual organs, and sexuality leads to those subjects being taboo both in school and outside of it. The informant’s use of a well know song to ground the subject in something well known and her parodying it with a subject rarely discussed provide a medium by which her students could comfortably and socially acceptably learn and talk about the reproductive systems that were taboo up until that time in their lives. She would sing the song to them first before they had to do it with her to ease tension and let them know it was okay to say or sing all of those words in her class. The need for such a song is indicative of the long standing taboo treatment of sex.

Rooster Riddle

Q: If a rooster lays an egg standing on a roof in the middle of the day, which way does it fall?

A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!

Context: The informant heard this riddle from her dad as a child, and speculates that all the extra context given in the riddle (i.e. the roof, the time of day, etc) is meant to throw off the listener from the obvious answer.

Analysis: This seems to fit into a trend of ‘catch’ riddles that a) casually introduce a key detail, b) distract the receiver with irrelevant information made to seem important, and c) ask a question that, unbeknownst to the receiver, depends solely on the key detail. The receiver is then meant to feel foolish for missing the obvious.

Family Jeer

Text:

“Every party needs a pooper, and that’s why we invited you.”

Context:

This jeer (or insult) is a part of the informant’s family lore. Within his family, this jeer is very well known, because members of the informant’s family often say it to each other to tease each other, implying that the recipient of the jeer is a party pooper. When used in the context of his family lore, the jeer is not actually meant to insult or slight its recipient, but is instead meant as a loving tease shared between loved ones.

Analysis:

While this insult is not yelled in a crowd setting at an opposing team, it is much like others that are very commonly used as teasing insults among loved ones. Another example of an insult of the same nature is when someone holds their hand above their friend’s head and says “This is a brain eater. Do you know what it’s doing? Starving!”

Insults like these are meant to bring families and friends closer together rather than to actually put them down or start an argument. After all, it is unlikely that someone who truly wanted to insult/start an argument with anyone else would actually use one of these insults to do so, as they are much more silly than actually hurtful. Instead, they are used to tease someone in a fun way and spread laughter among a group of people who already have some degree of love between them. This insult is also a very interesting example of our inclination to bond so much through teasing and sarcasm, as I am sure many other families have some version, if not many, of these insults that they share lovingly.

Two priests driving down a freeway

JM is a current student at USC and a very funny guy.  He is a comedian and is pursuing a career based on writing and comedy. He is Jewish and is from LA. 

“Two priests are driving down a freeway, a cop pulls up behind him, flashes his lights, and pulls him over. He gets out of his car and walks up to the priests and they roll down their window. The priests say ‘Can we help you officer’ and the officer goes ‘Yes gentleman, we’re looking for two child molesters.’ And the two priests look at each other, and then look back to the officer and go ‘we’ll do it”

JM- When I was in High School one of my friend’s dad was a comedy writer, and he told me this joke that I remembered forever. I thought it was funny the first time I heard it, but it became a lot more important to me after I got to use it as social currency.  My sophomore year of college, some buddies and I were trying to get into a frat party, first and last time, and uh, there was a bouncer at the door trying to charge for the party and we didn’t want to spend any money so the bouncer said ‘ well, if you tell me a joke that makes me laugh I’ll let you in for free’ and I told him this joke and he didn’t laugh but he just looked at me and nodded and let us walk inside. That was the only time a joke has saved me money.

ANALYSIS: This joke works well not only because of its very sudden and dark punchline but also because of its use of the Catholic Church priests as the punching bag. The structure of the joke doesn’t go exactly where one would expect, which gives it a memorable factor. Jokes about the Catholic church’s abuse of children have become exceptionally popular for many reasons. One reason is that joking about dark history and trauma makes it easier for people to talk about it. Many people wouldn’t know about the abuses of the Catholic Church if it weren’t for the commonality of these jokes. Furthermore, it’s easy to make jokes about pedophilic Catholic priests because there is a lack of remorse. Nobody has empathy for pedophiles, especially not when they come from a privileged position. The popularity of jokes about pedophilic Catholic priests work not only as humorous releases of trauma but also helps keep generations informed of these historical precedents.

A Riddle About A Spoon

¿Qué compras para comer pero no te la comes? Una cuchara. (What do you buy so that you can eat, but don’t actually eat it? A spoon?)

My mom would hear riddles like these growing up from her parents and aunts and uncles.

I myself would also be told these kind of similar riddles in Spanish and my sisters would already know all of them and I’d be struggling to figure them out much to the enjoyment of my family. These kind of riddles are a very recurring element within the types of things circulated around my family.