Tag Archives: funeral

Funeral Headbands

Context:

H is a pre-med Biology major at USC who grew up in Vancouver, Washington. His parents immigrated to the US from Vietnam.

Text:

H: “For funerals, you have to visit every day for the first week after the funeral and then once a week for seven weeks. And then, on the hundredth day since the funeral, everybody comes back to the temple. It’s like, the biggest day for them (the dead). You pray for them, wish them well at the temple. The hundredth day is when you have everybody together and you have a big feast. You have these white headbands that you wear and on the hundredth day, they chop off the headband.”

Analysis:

Since H was raised in a Viet-American household, he and his family’s celebration of weddings is similar to an Irish wake funeral, but also adds cultural specificity to Viet customs. For example, it is common in Irish funerals to throw a party on the deceased’s behalf, not only as a celebration of the deceased when they were alive but as a re-engineering of the domineering sorrow of a funeral. H’s feast on the hundredth day pays homage to the one who died without inviting negative emotions into the celebration of the individual.

Funerals are a liminal space, as Von Gennup puts it, lingering between the stages of life and death in a person’s existence on Earth. Rather than using funerals as a chance to mourn, H and Irish funeral traditions connect with members of their community and pray for safety into the next part of existing for the dead. This acceptance of death, the massive respect and commitment to the dead after the funeral, seems cultural, as does the white headbands and time. There is an acceptance of death as time marches on, not a denying of it. Rather, H’s family seems to come to terms that nothing can get in the way of death but glimmers for an appreciation of life and the one the once dead led.

Georgian Funeral Traditions

Nationality: Georgian
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Language: Georgian, English

[T]: Funerals…I hated those things. They’re usually first held in whoever dies…their house. There’s usually a casket, usually an open casket in the living room and everyone and their mother literally has to show up or else you’re the most disgraceful thing known to humankind so there’s like hundreds of people and you know that someone’s died because you walk or drive past the street and there’s hundreds of people going in and out of the apartment building.

[Me]: Is it everybody in the community or just everybody that ever knew the person?

[T]: Everyone that ever knew the person basically…word gets around. And then…you have to typically wear black, you go in straight faced and when you walk into the living room you have to…there’s like all the women that were closely related to the deceased person sitting in a circle around the open casket and then you have to walk in a circle around the casket and look in…which is really traumatizing and then you say your condolences to everyone and typically in like more the villages and the outer areas of Georgia, the women weep loudly…that’s another thing they audibly weep the whole time and the louder they weep the more it shows that they loved the person. After you do that round you turn around and leave and go outside and usually people stand outside and have a drink or two and then they leave.

Day two of celebrations is when you have a huge feast, but that’s a little more intimate. It’s usually only like 100 people as opposed to like a thousand.

[Me]: Is there anything that you characteristically make for this feast? Like a food staple? Does everyone bring something or does the family of the deceased make everything?

[T]: Typically all of our feasts are the same cuisine…just a lot of typical Georgian food: a lot of meats, fish, grains, because grains are tied to the earth and holiness, a lot of greens and spinach and nuts…our typical feast tradition is that is has to look as though no one’s touched it so it has to be a lot of food…like mountains of food and especially when you’re honoring the dead it has to look like no one’s touched it so it’s a sign of respect.

[Me]: Do any of these funeral rites have official titles or are they just understood to be done when someone dies?

[T]: Oh yeah the viewing is called გასვენება [pronounced “gasveneba”] which kind of translates to “letting them rest” or “resting them away” and then…oh no, the first part is called პანაშვიდი [pronounced “panashvidi”] and the second part is called გასვენება [pronounced “gasveneba”] which is when they take them…there’s a bunch of people that drive to the church and then to the graveyard where they’re buried. Part 3 is the feast which is called the ქელეხი pronounced “qelekhi”], don’t know what that translates to but that’s what it’s called.

Translation Key:

გასვენება – pronunciation: gasveneba – literal translation: “letting them rest” – English equivalent: wake

პანაშვიდი – pronunciation: panashvidi – literal translation: ? – English equivalent: funeral

ქელეხი – pronunciation: qelekhi – literal translation: ? – English equivalent: funeral feast

T is a 19 year old USC student who grew up in Tbilisi, Georgia. Prior to the “official” start to the interview, I asked if she had any Georgian-specific wedding, funeral, or other ritual traditions that she would be open to sharing with me, and the above conversation ensued.

There’s a lot of insight into Georgian culture from these funeral traditions. From the expectation of women weeping loudly at the wake to the abundant feast, it’s clear that the community places a lot of emphasis on paying respect to the deceased in traditional ways. The way that T describes the foods present at the qelekhi (ქელეხი) also speak to the overarching themes the culture and community value: connections to the Earth and holiness. T is a close friend of mine, and from other conversations we’ve had I know that outside of the capital city of Tbilisi, the villages are rather poor, very religious, and close-knit—these funeral traditions absolutely reflect that fact. Funerals represent, for a lot of cultures, a transition in identity for the deceased as they leave their place amongst the living and join the dead; I would have to do more research to be sure, but these traditions seem to indicate that in Georgian culture, people who have died are still very much a part of the community—just in a different way.

Dark-Humor at a Funeral

Background: N is an American with part Irish/Norwegian descent. During funerals, he remembers his uncles sharing a compilation of the deceased person’s best jokes and most scandalous stories to garner a few laughs.

Text:

N: “When the official funeral ceremony was over, I remember my four great uncles would gather at the reception and start cracking jokes at the dead person’s expense…sort of brutal to be honest. They’d air out all the person’s dirty laundry, but everyone seemed to really enjoy it… I always thought it was super fun as a kid because everyone was laughing… I didn’t understand the profanity much.”

Interviewer: “Did they do this at every funeral?”

N: “Pretty much anyone’s, mostly at each other’s to be honest…maybe because they knew they wouldn’t be offended if someone were cracking jokes over their own deathbed. It sadly got to the point where no one was left to share the jokes…and the tradition sort of died out.”

Interviewer: “Did anyone ever get upset?”

N: “I don’t really remember but I think everyone got pretty used to it. But [the uncles] definitely stayed serious at certain funerals, like if the person were less closely related to the immediate family, if you know what I mean.”

Analysis:

In many western societies, funerals are viewed as a time to mourn and be sorrowful over the passing of a lost loved one. However, others choose to celebrate and reflect upon the life of the deceased by having a bit of fun. Most likely, N’s heritage played a role in the type of traditions involved at funerals. His uncles’ habits of telling jokes at the funeral can also reflect how Irish or Norwegian culture, specifically in America, choose to take a more joyous perspective in the face of mortality. Although someone’s life cycle might come to an end, their impact is remembered and cherished by the family through oral tradition. Notably, N’s uncles refrained from telling the jokes at funerals of people considered outsiders to their immediate family, thus demonstrating how the tradition can be particular to the family as well. While the in-group finds it amusing, they must be cautious of how out-groups perceive the practice.

Mourning All Day and Night

Background: The informant is a 59 year old woman. She was born in Pampanga, Philippines and moved to Los Angeles when she was 29-years-old. The informant still frequently speaks to her family and occasionally visits her family in the Philippines. The informant grew up as Catholic in the Philippines, converting to evangelical Christianity during her time in Los Angeles. She was exposed to the tradition when living in the Philippines. 

Context: The context was that, when hearing that a family friend’s father died, the informant was reminded of her own father’s passing and brought it up.

Text:

EM: “When someone died, just like my father, and every places that we go, the vigil happens inside, in house, not like here, that they, they don’t bring the dead in the house”

Me: “You mentioned something about a vigil, what’s a vigil?”

“Vigil. Let’s say in, here [America], when someone died they don’t bring it [the body] home, they take it to the mortuary right?”

Me: “Right, so in the Philippines they take that person into the house?”

“Into the house. And there’s a vigil there, and uh, it depends how long, some three days, some one week, um, and then after that because let’s say if they have family that is not in the Philippines, they wait for their loved ones to come back because they want before they bury them. And then the vigil is every night and a lot of people, they don’t sleep, people don’t sleep, they said that they have to be awake for like 24 hours.

Me: “Does it last more than 24 hours. Like, is it multiple days?”

“Multiple days, no one sleeps there because, you know, um, they have to be awake. That’s watching it, you know?”

Me: “Do people take turns or is, they just stay there the entire time?”

“When the family wants to sleep, someone has to be awake, just there, sitting, kind of like that. I don’t know how you call it”

Me: “But it’s like the vigil like thing that you guy do”

“It’s like, yeah, the vigil, because there are, you call it viewing right? So here there’s like one or two days viewing only on a certain time right?”

“By viewing you mean like when people like to go and see the body, like, in a mortuary, right?”

Me: Yes

“Yes, yes, yes, so in the Philippines viewing and vigil is like together so people can come 

and view, and then after that stay there and like–


Me: “And like, pray right?”

“Yeah, and pray, there’s food all day all night and to keep the people awake and like that”

Me: “What types are foods would you say are served there. Would it be like caffei–”

“COFFEE!! Caffeine! Lot’s of coffee. Caffeine, biscuits, cookies, and um”


Me: “Sugar?”

“And uh, how’d you call it? You know the black seeds, pumpkin seeds, that’s so famous? That people can eat all night. Like uh, something, you see, you know, or chips, nuts, like that”

Me: “So, just like fun foods?”

“Yeah, and then after that, offer lunch and dinner, especially dinner or lunch or any food. You know like fiesta kind of like that, oh, like to feed the people that comes in.”

Me: “But, it’s not like a party right it’s still like mourning”

“No and, the people that come gives donation, you know?”

Analysis:

Informant: The excitement about the tradition is clear in how her tone became excited. She clearly felt it was a very important tradition to maintain.

Mine: As discussed by the informant, the traditions right after someone has died is much different in America than in the Philippines. Typically, the person in America is brought to a mortuary and is seen at a wake, and then the funeral. In the Philippines, the death of a family member is both a family and friend gathering. Notably is having to stay awake for 24 hours a day. There are beliefs that if the resting place is not always guarded, then an evil spirit will infiltrate the body of the dead. In this way, the entire community is protecting the dead from the evil spirits. Given the high number of Catholics in the Philippines, it’s surprising they do not follow the same funeral traditions, but it may come down to differences in the folk belief. For example, a difference in the belief of the prevalence of spirits in the human world. In terms of the foods offered, they all provided the sugar in order to stay awake for the entire time. There doesn’t seem to be a deeper meaning, but it still contributes to the entire gathering by ensuring that a vital tradition of staying awake still takes place.

Pennies from Heaven

Context: Pennies are a form of American currency equaling 1 cent. Their low value makes them adaptable since people are generally not worried about conserving them. because of this, pennies have also become a common object of folklore-ish discussion.

Background Information: Informant’s grandmother died young, and the informant’s mother and father died when informant was in their twenties. Informant and Informants family are/were Christian and very relationally close to one another. The loss of their family has been very difficult for informant.

Informant: “My mother used to tell me that when my grandmother- her mother- died, that she would send pennies to her as kisses from heaven. Whenever we saw a penny on the side of the street, she would tell me grandma had sent it. When my own mom died, I went to the funeral, and I had paid a parking meter. When I came back to my car, the meter had broken and all these pennies littered the ground. I just bawled and bawled and bawled. Completely broke down crying.”

Thoughts: The presence of pennies is common folklore, and is often perceived as a sign of some sort when found accidentally. Whether or not the parking meter was a coincidence or not, the folklore surrounding the penny stands firm. The penny in this situation connects a member of a family group to the other members, even after death. The folklore is a unifying front, which unifies the member of this group and gives credence to the belief that the members of the group will continue to embody their group identity even after death.