Tag Archives: funeral

Korean Superstition – The Ill at Funerals

Nationality: Korean
Age: 51
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Cerritos, California
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: Korean
Language: English

“The physically ill in Korea do not attend funerals in fear that death will find them.”

 

My informant first heard about this superstition when about a decade ago, she was puzzled by her mother-in-law’s unwillingness to attend her (as in the mother-in-law’s) brother’s funeral.  When Gwi questioned her opposition to attending, her mother-in-law who is from the rural city of Daegu in Korea, explained that she was already ill.  Spirits at the funeral could sense an ill person’s presence and would follow her home.  She was afraid of the spirits following her after the funeral to take her with them, so she avoided going.  This kind of superstition is wide spread among the country folks in Korea.  They would never attend a funeral no matter how beloved the deceased was to them if they are ill because they believed the spirits would mark them as the next to die.

If I were battling a fatal disease, I would feel too vulnerable to go to such a gloomy and morbid ceremony.  Not necessarily that I believe spirits would follow me home, but I would be afraid to watch a funeral because death would just seem so real and closer to me.  However, I would still find the courage to attend a beloved’s funeral because perhaps I may find consolation in that death does not have to be so scary and remote as many people make it out to be.

Proverb

Age: 50
Residence: Malibu, CA
Performance Date: February 27, 2007

My mother told me of this proverb that she heard while at a funeral.

“An inch of time is an inch of gold, but you can’t buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.”

She heard this proverb when she was attending the funeral of her high school friend’s son.  The boy’s name was Jason.  She died of a drug overdose at the age of 22.  My mother told me that this was the saddest funeral she had ever attended.  Most funerals are for the elderly, who died from old age.  This funeral was extremely unfortunate because Jason was so young and his life had barely begun.  His family did not even know that he had a drug problem.  In a speech given by one of Jason’s teachers this proverb was mentioned.  The teacher talked about how wonderful Jason was and how much potential he had.  All he needed was more time, to hopefully recover from his addiction and begin his life, on a path to success.

In essence this proverb is stating that time is so precious, as precious as gold.  However, you can not earn more time like you can earn more gold.  Therefore, in reality time is more precious then gold.  Things are more valuable the rarer they are.  Gold, something tangible is highly desired because it is rare, therefore everyone wants some.  However, other things like time or love, things that are not tangible are also very rare, but are harder then gold to acquire.

Joke – American

Age: 53
Occupation: Real Estate Investor
Residence: Laguna Hills, CA
Performance Date: February 2007
Primary Language: English

An Oakland Raiders’ fan was watching a game in a sold out Coliseum, he could not see one empty seat in the whole stadium.  Then he saw an empty seat a couple rows in front of him so he walked down and asked the guy next to that seat if he knew the person whose seat that was.

The guy responded, “Yeah, you see that’s my wife’s seat and we haven’t missed a game since the sixties, but she’s dead now.”

The fan told the guy he was sorry and that it’s a shame he couldn’t find any family member or friend to come to the game with him.

The guy says, “well, they would except they’re all at her funeral.”

Barry says he learned this joke when he was a teenager of approximately fifteen years of age.  His father taught him this as both were fans of the Los Angeles/ Oakland Raiders.  Barry recalls his father supplying him with a new joke practically everyday, which he would then teach to his friends at school.

Barry believes that this story could be applied to any sports’ team and it would have the same impact, as is the case that is seen through the annotation (below.)  The punch line of this joke is that all the other family members are at his wife’s funeral, but he is not at the funeral because he is watching the ball game instead.  There is a whole genre of these jokes that revolve around men’s lack of sympathy for their significant others, many of which focus on the wife’s death and the husband missing her funeral to go to a game or out fishing.

Annotation: This joke was found at:

http://humorvault.tripod.com/sports.html

Funeral Rituals – Thailand

Nationality: Thai
Age: 58
Occupation: Registered Nurse
Residence: Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Performance Date: April 12, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Thai

Thai Funeral Rituals

Traditionally, a Thai funeral lasts anywhere between one to seven days. It can be up to seven consecutive days to provide opportunities for relatives, family, and friends to attend and pay their respects. Thai people also believe that the soul leaves the body after three to seven days after the death, and the deceased finally realizes that they have died already. The body is placed in an open casket at the funeral dressed in nice clothes to make them look good. Usually, the person is dressed in either Thai traditional clothing or in one of their favorite outfits. This choice of clothing is to please the deceased so they will move on happily and look good when they move on and so the person will not have to return for any clothes.

Also, a bowl is placed underneath the hands of the body because there is a traditional water blessing. The water blessing is when each person attending the funeral pours a small amount of water onto the hands of the deceased. This symbolizes forgiveness and cleansing. When a person pours the water on the hands it is like asking the deceased to forgive them for any wrongs done or any disagreements between the two of them in life. It is also just to pay respect and say final good-byes.

Once the attendees have done the water blessing, they sit down. The closest family members to the deceased sits in the front row to physically symbolize the close relationship to the deceased. Then, several monks chant a prayer specific for funerals. The chanting is unanimous among the monks and sounds quite musical and soothing. The attendees sit silently listening with their hands together for prayer. The chanting of the monks is a prayer to send the soul of the deceased to a better place or to wherever the person wants to go. After the chanting, the monk with the most seniority gives a eulogy, but the eulogy does not focus on the deceased person necessarily. It focuses more on life in general. It is up to the monk what he decides to talk about, but it is usually life lessons and thoughts for life.

Then, when the monk is done talking, food is provided for the guests.  It is a way to thank the guests for attending the funeral and also a time for the people to mingle and talk about old times. There is a variety of foods such as soups, fruit, and desserts. Except no noodles. It is believed that if there are noodles people will die following each other in a line like the lines of the noodles. Other people in the family will follow the dead person.

Everyone is supposed to wear black to the funeral because of mourning. The close family members continue to wear black clothes for one hundred days following the death. After the last day of funerals, the body gets cremated. Some people are buried or other things, but usually with Buddhists, they are cremated. Then, also usually with Buddhists, the bones and ashes are thrown into a river or ocean or any body of water. The cremation and allowing the bones and ashes to float in a body of water symbolizes reverting back to nature. We came from nature, the four elements – wind, water, earth, fire – when we die we return to nature.

My mother explained these funeral traditions and beliefs that she has learned growing up in Thailand. She has attended several funerals like this in her own lifetime. Just a few years ago she flew out to Thailand to organize her father’s, my grandpa’s, funeral. There are some differences with traditional funerals in Thailand and the ones in America. For example, in Thailand the open casket with the body is usually at every day of the funeral. Whereas in America, it is usually there only the first day because it has to be given to the crematory so they can prepare for the cremation. Also, the funeral in Thailand seems to be more extravagant with more monks, more people, and more food. However, this may be because there are more relatives, friends, monks, and resources located in Thailand.

Recently my mother also had to organize a funeral for her husband, my dad. All of the traditions described were included in the funeral. The funeral lasted three days, there was a water blessing on the first day, everyone wore black, monks chanted each day, there was food each day, his body was cremated, and we will be taking a trip to Thailand this summer to throw his bones and ashes into a river that all of our deceased relatives are thrown.

Thai funeral rituals and traditions are very different compared to the Irish wakes discussed in Ilana Harlow’s piece “Practical Jokes and the Revival of the Dead in Irish Tradition.” The Irish focus more on celebrating the life of the deceased, and the funerals include dancing, drinking, and pranks. Traditional Thai funerals are more somber and focus on paying respects to the deceased. However, the guests reminisce about times past with the deceased and reunite with many people that they have not seen or contacted in an extended period of time. Although there is the sorrowful aspect of the funeral, there is also the social aspect for those in attendance.

Narvaez, Peter. Of Corpse: Death and Humor in Folklore and Popular Culture. Pg. 83-112. Logan, Utah: Utah State University Press, 2003.

Superstition – Chinese

Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 17, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin, Thai, Taiwanese

After a funeral you have to go to somewhere else before you go home so the spirits don’t follow you home. I think it’s like a Chinese thing – like a superstition.

Wilson explained that he has had to stop by another location before heading home after every funeral he has ever attended with his parents. He believes that Chinese people generally believe this. His interpretation of the belief is that the purpose of the extra stop is to “throw off the spirits.” This idea can be considered more of a folk belief rather than a superstition because it is a belief that has not been scientifically proven to be true but it is not tied to magic and does not involve either looking for signs in the universe or reversing something that has been broken. His deeming it a superstition shows how closely related these terms are and how people generally use the terms superstition, belief, and magic interchangeably.

This belief reveals that regardless of the ties that the people have to the deceased, they do not want the spirit to follow them or stay with them. This goes along with the concept that people are supposed to move on in the afterlife rather than linger among and shadow the living. There is also a fear of the spirits that drives people to continue this practice. Wilson mentioned that any place will suffice. For example, his parents and he have stopped by a supermarket before, a Starbucks, and simply anything convenient at the time. In Sunnyvale, CA where he was raised, there are plenty of convenient places to visit instead of leading the spirit home with them.