Tag Archives: Joke

Children Eater

Age – 20
Language – English
Nationality – American
Occupation – Student
Primary Language – English
Residence – Virginia

Text: “I was told a story very similar to Hansel and Gretel when I was younger. Basically, a grandma ate the children at night. I was really scared of the dark when I was younger and so every time I was alone at night in my room I thought she was hiding there and I would be scared to fall asleep.”

Context: The informant remembers a childhood story that’s similar to “Hansel and Gretel,” where a grandmother eats children at night. As a kid, the informant was already scared of the dark, so this story made her feel even more terrified whenever she was alone at night.

Analysis: The “grandma eating children” idea taps into the deeper fear of being vulnerable, especially at night when you’re alone and young. The grandma figure turning into a monster shows how folklore twists familiar figures into sources of terror. The informant’s fear of the dark makes the story feel personal to her.

The 5th Floor McDonalds

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: College Student
Residence: Morris Plains, NJ, USA
Language: English

It was a piece of school lore that was told to them by the upperclassman and that he later passed on to the younger classmen. They use it as an initiation process for high school. You are a real member of the high school if you know this joke.  

“My brother went to high school at [M], and always told us there were plenty of pranks people would play on my sisters and I. When I got there I was told there was a secret McDonalds on the 5th floor. It was funny because it was really hard to find the 4th floor so the idea that there might be a secret 5th floor felt pretty realistic. I remember a senior walking into gym class with McDonalds and telling the freshman he didn’t even leave the building. A lot of kids were really excited. I eventually told it to the freshman at the club fair.”

While it’s not uncommon for seniors to play pranks on freshmen, I think this particular prank developed because of the school structure. Upon asking more questions I found that the over 10 stairwells in the building all lead to different levels and sometimes skipped floors. This made it difficult for students to find the right floor when they first came to the school. Therefore the idea that a secret staircase to the 5th floor was pretty believable. It was a fun initiation for the freshman and a good way to explore the school. 

What to do With a Runaway Horse

Nationality: Irish

Occupation: Horse Race Track Manager

Residence: Waterford, Ireland

Language: English

Text:

“O’Flangagan had a racehorse, the fastest racehorse in Ireland. Every race, the horse won by at least ten lengths, it was never close. But everytime the horse came to the end of the race, instead of crossing the finishing post, it would veer off the side and run off into a field. O’Flanagan was going mental with this horse, so he went to see Seamus, the town vet, he said “I’ve got the fastest horse in Ireland, but every time he gets near the winning post he runs off to the side into a field and the next horse wins. What am I ever going to do?” Seamus said “I am familiar with that problem and I have the solution for you, you must get a small lump of lead and put it in the horse’s left ear, that will solve the problem, guaranteed.” O’Flanagan asked “How will I get the lump of lead in the horse’s ear?” to which the vet replied, “With a gun.”

Context: Before my aunt told me this story/joke, she spent a while nervously laughing and going on about how dark it is. She owns two horses and leases two more, and her job is entirely built around horse races. Her reluctance to share this story shows her admiration for horses, as well as their admiration across rural Ireland. She, along with many of her friends, have had to put down sick horses, and from our conversation it seemed like telling this story reminded her of those experiences and helped her laugh about such a difficult experience.

Analysis:

This joke reveals a lot about the way in which horses are viewed; they are both loved and thought of as precious, but also can be incredibly frustrating and uncooperative, and are still seen as animals below humans. The idea of killing a horse because it ran a race wrong is ridiculous, but the idea of needing to shoot a horse to put it down is not. Combining a ridiculous reason for putting a horse down with the somber act of actually putting it down brings a sense of humor into a difficult situation, similar to other dark humor. The fact that putting a horse down requires this type of humor to cope shows how horses are treasured and loved in this rural area in the South of Ireland.

Story About a Priest at a Wedding Party

Nationality: Irish

Occupation: Horse Race Track Manager

Residence: Waterford, Ireland

Language: English

Text:

Back in the day Murphy got married, but he hardly remembers it because of how much he had to drink, oh far far too much. At one point during the ceremony the priest came over to him and said “Murphy you are drunk” and Murphy said “how do you know father?” and the priest said “Because you are lying on the floor”. Murphy looked up at the priest and said “that may be true, but the best man is drunker than me” and the priest says “don’t you mean ‘drunker than I’?” and Murphy says “no father, nobody is drunker than you”.

Context:

When my aunt told me this story, she acted like it happened at a wedding that she went to as a child growing up in Dublin; only when I pressed further did she admit it was a story she heard, not one she observed. It is unclear if there was a specific wedding that this actually happened at, but the story had been passed down from her mother, and her friends had heard similar stories elsewhere. When I pressed more, she said that one of her friends heard that story but said it happened in Kerry (in the West of Ireland), and if the story took place there that would feed into stereotypes Irish people have about Kerry.

Analysis:

The way that my aunt acted like this story had happened at a wedding she went to reveals a lot about Irish communities. The idea of a priest being drunk at a wedding is funny, but the story works as a joke because it isn’t completely unreasonable. In many parts of Ireland (less so in Dublin, which is how I knew the story wasn’t a true experience of hers), the priest is a major part of the town’s social network, where he would know everyone and be at any major event like a wedding. However, a priest would also be willing to join in the celebration, which opposes their day to day holy life. Many people in rural Ireland have experienced priests acting in a very normal way outside of their holy work, but this is generally not talked about; this joke is a way of bringing up how priests are human just like everyone else.

A Man in a Hospital Trying to Learn More

Nationality: Irish

Occupation: Horse Race Track Manager

Residence: Waterford, Ireland

Language: English

Text:

A few months ago, in a local country hospital, in County Cork a ways outside the city, a nurse picked up the phone and a voice said “I’d like to know how Aidan Sexton is doing, he just had a very serious operation and I’d like to know how his recovery is coming along. Was the operation successful, and if it was, how much longer will it be until he gets to go home again?” The nurse said “hold on please” and disappeared for ten minutes to find his file. When she got back she said “well, looking here he had his operation and it was very successful, he’s recuperating very well, and if it all keeps going well he will be home in about two weeks time.” The nurse then asked “by the way, who am I speaking to?” and the voice said “this is Aidan Sexton, nobody tells me anything in this place.”

Context:
I had to ask my aunt if this really happened, or if it was made up. At first I thought it was real because she chose to use a real sounding name, and the story isn’t clearly fake, but she confirmed that it was made up at some point and she wasn’t aware of anyone actually doing this. She added that Aidan Sexton is a real person she knows, and his name was the first to come to mind as she was telling the story, but he has no specific connection to the story. She also said that she first heard the story told at a pub, after a man complained about needing to drive for an hour to be able to see a doctor.

Analysis:

The story reflects an overall frustration with medical care, which is often even more significant in rural areas where hospitals are often understaffed, far away, and don’t offer the same quality of care as hospitals in cities. The fact that my aunt chose to say the fictional hospital was in County Cork, close to where she lives, and the fact that the name she used was the name of a person she lives across the street from, all point towards the story reflecting her own personal frustration with medical care. The fact that she first heard this story in a pub reflects a lot about it as a form of storytelling; it has just two characters, making it easy to recite, and it is a very quick story which means that it can be told by a less experienced storyteller (or a more experienced one who had a lot to drink), and it does not need to hold an audience’s attention for a long time.