Tag Archives: beauty standards

“For beauty, you must suffer.”

Text:
When A was in high school and had pimples, her mother would pop them for her. Whenever A complained that it hurt, her mother would respond, “For beauty, you must suffer.”

Context:
The informant, A, recalls hearing this phrase frequently from her mother, especially during moments involving personal grooming that were physically uncomfortable, like popping pimples or plucking eyebrows. While A understood that her mother meant it lightheartedly, it also reflected a deeper, often unspoken expectation around beauty standards. A noted that this phrase extended beyond skincare. For example, her mother would say it when discussing the discomfort of wearing heels or shapewear like Spanx.

Analysis:
This phrase highlights how societal beauty standards, specifcally for women, are often tied to discomfort or even pain. The expectation is that beauty requires sacrifice, whether it’s enduring physical discomfort or investing significant time and effort. It reinforces the idea that beauty is an achievement rather than an inherent trait, one that must be worked for and maintained. The fact that the phrase was passed down from mother to daughter goes to show how these standards are often perpetuated within families, sometimes without conscious reflection. Ultimately, the saying reflects a broader cultural narrative about the price of fitting into conventional ideals of beauty.

Clothes Are Wings

Age: 24

Text:

“Clothes are wings.”

Context:

The informer tells me that this is a Korean proverb, and essentially means “Clothes make people better”. They’re not sure where they learned it from, but they assume it’s from their parents, or from watching k-dramas.

Analysis:

I thought it was very interesting that Korea would have a proverb about physical appearances and how it affects how people may perceive you. Korean society is very much one where one’s physical appearance absolutely determines how you are treated, where you are in the social hierarchy, and what people think your character and personality is like–this is all determined by how you look. It can become so extreme to the point where it may becomes toxic–one must always be skinny and slender, conventionally attractive, pale, chic, with impeccable fashion taste regardless of your socioeconomic status.

I feel like this emphasis on physical appearance has something to do with how homogenous Korea is, and its values on community rather than the individual. By having the mindset that “clothes make the man”, it creates a standard that everyone must strive to meet in order to not stand out and disrupt the flow of what is considered “normal”. This is a Confucian ideal(community over individual), which is a foundational aspect of Korean culture and social roles.

mother daughter proverb

fields:
AGE: mother and daughter current(50/23) when used (40/15)
Date_of_performance: 02/15/25
Language: English
Nationality: Canadian
Occupation: Artist/ retail worker
Primary Language: English
Residence: Toronto, canada

Quote: “For beauty you must suffer”

A folk phrase used by mothers to their daughters when teaching them the grooming rituals of a grown woman. from shaving, to waxing, to tight heels, or spanks its a way to acknowledge the effort one must put in to meet the beauty standard.

This phrase is was used by my mother and her mother before her, they were british woman so i don’t doubt that this is a folk phrase that can be traced back to the creation of the corset.

the folk that use this are woman and sister or motherly circles.