Tag Archives: relationships

“Bread and Butter” (Splitting the Pole)

• saying/banisher of bad luck

Many people subscribe to the superstition that “splitting the pole,” or in other words, walking on two different sides of a (usually tall and inanimate) object, i.e. a pole, is bad luck–sometimes promising a split in the pair’s relationship, poor fortune, or even death for one or both parties, according to different beliefs. 

Of course, for various reasons, sometimes it is impossible for two people to avoid splitting the pole, in which case one of them must say “bread and butter” to undo the bad luck. This is presumably tied to the idea that splitting the pole will cause the two to separate in some way, and butter can’t really be separated from bread once spread. 

While there is limited written documentation/proof, because the superstition around splitting the pole seems to have originated among Black Americans, many point to the context of slavery, the life-or-death need for enslaved people to stay together and seek protection in numbers, and the ever-present threat of external parties dividing them from loved ones. 

However, “bread and butter” makes even physical separation powerless, restoring the protective powers of community, especially in travel. 

Folk Sayings: “She’s for the Streets”

Informant Context: The informant is a 20-year-old white male from Riverside, California.

Conversation Transcript: 

Collector: “What is a proverb or saying you might share with a guy friend when giving advice about women?”

Informant: “The other week, my boy came to me about a girl he’d been seeing. He found out she was talking to other guys. I told him ‘she’s for the streets’ and to keep it pushing.”

Collector: “What does it mean when a girl is ‘for the streets’?”

Informant: “It means they’re a hoe. That she sleeps around and she belongs to everybody. Like she is willing to do things with anyone on the streets. Kind of like a prostitute.”

Analysis: In recent years, this saying has risen in popularity among the Gen-Z and Millennial demographic. If someone’s viewed as promiscuous, younger generations will commonly deem that person as “for the streets” through online comments or folk lore. The phrase’s popularity is reflected in this decade’s pop music. One notable example is the pop song “Streets,” released in 2019 by rapper/singer Doja Cat.

Proverb: Blood and Water

Text: “Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

Context: G is a 20 years old Animation and Digital Arts major from Birmingham, UK. He is a junior at USC and has been living in the area for 3 years.

G said he initially heard the more popular version of this saying – “Blood is thicker than water” – at some point when he was younger. He says that he believes it was one of his teachers that later told him the actual proverb, the one listed above in text.

Interpretation: What’s interesting is that G chose to tell me the longer version of this proverb, but acknowledged the shorter version. This more popular version is used as an argument for familial bonds being stronger than others, while the version in text argues that relationships we form are stronger. While this may or may not be actually true, G believes the version he told me is the original, and that people are misquoting it in the shorter, ‘newer’ version. The key words “covenant” and “womb” are left out. This proverb which I’ve quoted from G is pretty straightforward, although metaphorical, saying that the bonds we choose to form and strengthen (covenant meaning agreement or trust) are stronger than those we cannot chose (those created solely by the womb). It’s definitely a type of advice, seemingly coming from someone experienced in life. What’s more, familial bonds being questioned is taboo in a number of cultures and societies, which seems to be why there are two different versions of this proverb circulating. It also speaks to the fact that my informant, who is a student at a college on an entirely different continent from his hometown (and his family), knows and references the version of the proverb that values formed relationships over inherited ones.

That’s So Camp

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. She enjoys writing poetry as well as knitting.

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me, and she referred to this collection as “camp.” I asked her to elaborate on the phrase for the collection and to explain its meaning. 

TEXT:

Me: “Where would you say you got ‘camp’ from?”

A: “I like it a little bit when people don’t initially understand what the hell I’m talking about. And that was one of the phrases where if I said it, people would just be like, ‘What the hell does that even mean?’ I just like things that are very subjective to interpretation. And ‘that’s so camp,’ depending on how I say it, is just something that can be very subjective and it can be an insult or a compliment or just an observation. I’m pretty sure it was after an award ceremony, maybe the Met Gala and the theme was ‘camp.’ That was years ago and I remember being like, ‘That is such a good definition,’ I need to start using that and now I think it’s a staple of my vocabulary.”

Me: “What does it mean to you?”

A: “I feel like it’s very hard to describe verbally. I would say camp is when you can tell someone is trying to do something where there’s a very large amount of effort present, and the execution is more questionable. So like, sometimes outfits are camp in that sometimes they’re good because they’re camp and sometimes they’re bad because they’re camp and it’s just about how you sort of pull it off.”

ANALYSIS:

I also use this term — “camp” tends to refer to things that are a little weird or off-putting, but not always necessarily in a bad way. For example, things that are eccentric are camp. Anything that is camp also tends to be somewhat amusing. They can be artificial or self-consciously ironic. In a sense, it refers to things that are so bad they are good because of the intention. Today, there almost seems to be a revitalization of the appreciation for things that aren’t perfect, and even more so, things that are intentionally imperfect. Irony, especially amongst the younger generation, has taken hold as a point of appreciation. There seems to also be a lack of desire for people to point out that one thing is absolutely cool or uncool, and “camp” is a way to fit in between that. With such a loose definition, it’s easier to judge ambiguously, which can serve a good purpose at a time when our statements are much more highly scrutinized.

Gift your partner shoes and they’ll run away from you

Context: 

C is a 19 year old Filipino-American college student living in Los Angeles, California.

This conversation took place in my room as a group of my friends were hanging out and I inquired about any folklore or proverbs they knew. This superstition was thrown out following another friend and the informant bouncing superstitions off of each other.
Text: 

C: If you give your partner shoes, you’re also not going to stay together because they’re going to like run away. 

Reflection: 

This superstition reminded me that I had actually heard this one prior. I’m not sure where I heard it previously, but it seems to be a common piece of superstitious advice to not gift shoes so as not to drive the other person away. I think it’s very interesting too because shoes are also not a likely gift since you would need to know the shoe size of the person you are gifting to, which is not a common fact to know.