Tag Archives: wedding ritual

Indonesian Wedding Ritual

Text: “You know how at American weddings, the bride throws a bouquet? And whoever catches it is going to get married next. In my family, I think this originates from Indonesia, we buy a holy chicken, like a live chicken. They buy this chicken, it’s expensive, and they keep it at the house. The parents of the groom throw it and all the moms of those unmarried try to catch it. And whoever catches it, their kid is going to get married next. When I went to my cousin’s wedding back in New York, her mom insisted that she do this tradition, even though she found it very strange in Western context. I still have the video of the chicken being thrown, because we all thought it was ridiculous. But my mom told me that it is really sacred in Indonesian culture, and everyone in our family must participate in it.”

Context: The informant, KP, is half-Indonesian and has a very strong connection to her culture. She visits Indonesia with her family every summer and has become familiar with many Indonesian traditions. She describes this celebration as one that she learned when she was younger, at the first Indonesian wedding she went to. However, she has a lot of family in the United States, since her grandparents moved here, and they do this celebration at weddings here too. She said it sounds like a silly tradition to people on the outside, but in Indonesian culture, and her family specifically, it is a sacred ritual that they must do.

Analysis: 

This wedding ritual illustrates a life cycle celebration, specifically, marriage. It manifests this life cycle celebration as folk performance. The wedding is no longer about only the union of two people, but rather about showcasing cultural values, specifically surrounding family and social continuity. It is also about creating community in a sacred way, as ritualizing the act makes it much more significant. The ritual is passed down through generations, through repeated performance. 

This act is also rooted in homeopathic magic. The chicken is a representation of marriage, and catching the chicken transfers that marriage. In many cultures, animals can represent folk beliefs and hold symbolic power. The fact that the mothers are the ones catching the chicken also shows how marriage is not just about the bride and groom, but a communal affair, shaped by family and friends.

It also reaffirms the cultural belief in fate and the social pressure surrounding marriage and fertility, specifically for women. This is especially clear because the mothers are the ones catching the chicken, which reflects the cultural pressure placed on women to find their husband and start the next generation. Women are often both the agents and subjects of marriage rituals. In many cultures, women are the ones who have to perform the ritual, but they are also the most affected by the outcome. This highlights gender expectations about marriage and status in certain cultures. In this sense, the ritual is a reinforcement of patriarchal values, where women’s roles are tied to marriage, reproduction, and continuing a family.

This is also an example of an oicotype, as there are many regional variations of this wedding tradition. It is similar to the American tradition of throwing a bouquet, but it has a variation based on local beliefs. Specifically, in Indonesia, animals often hold sacred significance, which is why they have to use a “special” chicken. 

Toss of the bouquet

Date_of_performance: 04/25/2025

Informant Name: FR

Language: English 

Nationality: American

Occupation: Student/Vaulting Coach

Primary Language: English

Residence: Westwood

INTERVIEW:

I recently went to my cousin’s wedding in the beginning of April, I guess you can call that recently. One thing that I saw my cousin do after they got married during the reception, was toss the bouquet to the crowd. I knew what it meant, but my younger sister was confused why she did that, so we talked to my mom about it and this is what she said is the meaning of it: “Usually, at traditional weddings, brides will through the bouquet towards family and friends who gather on the dance floor and the person who catches it, if they are single or in a relationship, it would mean they would get married next. It usually surrounds women guests. It basically symbolizes good luck and love in your future relationships. It doesn’t mean it will actually happen, it is supposed to be a lighthearted and fun game where the person who catches the bouquet could get teased and to put pressure on their partner to make a move.” I found this interesting that the bride is willing to make the wedding about someone else and the excitement of them possibly getting married instead of wanting to keep all of the attention of them and their partner and how they just got married. I think my cousin did to keep the wedding ritual alive because it is to normalized to do the bouquet toss at weddings, you get peer pressured to do the traditions that your parents did before you because it is seen as the norm and what everyone should do. I just found the idea of tossing a bouquet at your wedding an interesting wedding ritual.

MY ANALYSIS

I agree with FR about how she choose to make her wedding about someone else by tossing the bouquet. I find western wedding traditions so fascinating and how it mostly focused on the women being given away to the man. For example, the dad walking the bride down the isle as a way to “give her away” to the husband. And now tossing the bouquet to the women guests to see if their partner proposes and it is always about heterosexual relationships or weddings. All of the weddings I’ve been too, have mostly been heterosexual weddings (due to my family members mainly being straight) and all of them have done the bouquet toss. But, the traditional aspects of weddings, example the bouquet toss, is rooted in folklore and the idea that the brides are met with rituals before getting married as a way to represent women losing their innocence and/or virginity. The bouquet toss falls under the idea of whoever gets the bouquet is next to lose their innocence by getting married and “belonging” to their partner and possibly losing the individuality they had before.

Kitab – ekteb (Wedding Ritual)

Nationality: Lebanese-American
Age: 22
Occupation: College Student
Residence: Los Feliz, California
Performance Date: 04/05/17
Primary Language: English

Kitab- ekteb translates into “to write the book.” It is the agreement in the marriage. It happens in someones house, making it very home-oriented. It is when the Islamic priest, Sheik, comes. The family of the man needs to go to the family of  the woman and ask for permission from her father. They ceremony happens either  before the wedding ceremony or the day off. The groom and bride read from the Quran. This is to state that “this is the marriage.” After the ritual they are married under Islam.  Before the kitab-ekteb the groom is not allowed to touch the bride.

My informant is from a Lebanese family. She is a college student at the California State University Northridge. She is very close with her father, often helping him run the family store. We sat down at a coffee shop to talk about folklore from her family.

I found this interesting because it was different yet similar to the American wedding. The idea that a couple can be wed before the huge wedding ceremony is very interesting. It also hints that sometimes the wedding party is just to show off wealth. I also found it interesting that the ceremony took place in an intimate setting. It really showed how humble and sacred the marriage agreement is.