Tag Archives: Wedding Rituals

Wedding Bells – Irish wedding rituals

Nationality: Russian, Irish
Age: 59
Occupation: Office Manager
Residence: California
Language: English

Text:

KT: “This is a wedding tradition that mostly comes from my dad’s side of the family [Irish heritage], but I did it at my wedding and I believe my mother did it at her and my father’s wedding too. So, after me and your dad left the church, all the guests rang little silver bells that were passed out before the ceremony. Bells are said to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck in a marriage. They also rang the church bells too if I remember correctly, which is pretty normal for church weddings. The guests got to keep the bells and they rang them as we can in for the reception too which was really pretty. I really liked that.”

Me: “Where did you learn about this wedding tradition?”

KT: “I learned about it from my parents, I think. Like I said, I think they did something similar at their wedding. Your grandmother isn’t Irish, but your grandfather is, so they incorporated some Irish traditions into the wedding. I think he must have learned it from his family because I think I remember my mom saying my uncle did the same thing at his wedding too.”

Me: “Do you know what generation American you are?”

KT: “Yes, so my dad’s dad came from Ireland. That means my grandfather and grandmother, which would make me a 2nd generation American, I think. So, I guess that tradition is probably pretty popular in Ireland, at least in our family. I don’t know anyone in Ireland, from our family or otherwise, so I don’t really know. It’s funny too because I don’t think my sister or brother did it at their ceremonies, I can’t really remember, but they both got married first, and my mother was insistent that I do it. My dad passed when I was three months old, but you know, my mom remarried, so I was the last of her kids from my real dad. I think that’s why she really wanted me to do it since I was the last one from that side of the family.

Me: “Did you incorporate any other family or cultural traditions into your wedding?”

KT: “Well we had a Catholic wedding ceremony, which has specific things to complete the Sacrament of Matrimony. I don’t know if we really have any other specific family traditions. Well, I guess besides the bells, that’s kind of a tradition now.”

Me: “Did it feel important to connect to your Irish heritage, and in a way your dad?”

KT: “Yeah, it was nice. I never really knew him, only my stepfather, so doing something like that I like to think my dad would have appreciated it. My stepfather was Irish too, so we still did a lot of Irish things and such growing up, but it was special because my real dad did it at his wedding.”

Context: KT is a 59 year old from California. She is of Irish decent. This wedding celebration was passed down to her from her parents, and she is unsure of how far back the tradition goes in her family, but it is a very popular wedding tradition in Ireland. She told me this story in-person, and I recorded it to transcribe.

Analysis: This is a relatively common Irish tradition, one that has influence in even non-Irish weddings. As my informant mentioned, even churches for non-Irish ceremonies have a practice of ringing the church bells after the ceremony is concluded. This Irish tradition has been acculturated into a religious tradition as well, in part, likely due to the strong religious ties in Ireland. This practice is directly linked to folk legends of fairies and spirits in Ireland, as the bells are to ward off evil spirits that could cause strife for the celebrations or the new couple. It is also important to note that this tradition was encouraged by KT’s mother to connect KT to her heritage and her father, even though it is not a practice from her culture [KT’s mother is Russian]. She wanted KT to connect to her culture and the important cultural practices. It was also a way that KT was able to remember her father and have a link to him on a very important day in her life, one that is centered around family. KT also mentions that she got married in a Catholic church, and in doing so, took part in the Sacrament of Matrimony. This is a religious tradition, which has its own set of specific rites that are completed. To receive this sacrament, certain things must be completed by the bride and groom, no matter what cultural background they are from, since it is purely religious in nature.

Wedding Tradition – “Jumping the broom”

Nationality: Black
Age: 18
Occupation: Student

Text:

“A wedding tradition…specifically African Americans jump the broom at their weddings which is basically at the end of the sermon they jump over the broom…it’s literally a broom.”

Context:

One of my friends is African American and she was explaining this wedding tradition that many black communities partake in. She said it was a way of “giving thanks” as well as “honoring their ancestors.” She talked about how in the past slaves weren’t allowed to get married so this was an “act of defiance against the slave masters to jump the broom…to say we’re married after a pastor or sermon.” This tradition has continued to this day, even though they can legally get married, to show “thanks to the ancestors…that we see them.” She went on to say that it is an important aspect of her culture to honor their ancestors. She also said that many people in the outskirts of her family still practice this tradition as they believe it is “important to honor history and the ancestors…what they have gone through as a reminder that they are the reason we are here today.” 

Analysis:

It was interesting to hear of this tradition as it was quite new to me. The concept has a lot of history behind it and it’s mainly a tradition within the black community. That most likely contributes to the significance of the tradition as it connects people within that community. After doing a little research the origin of the tradition is still argued over today. Some believe it was started in West Africa to ward off evil spirits while some believe it originated in Wales. It is also believed that jumping the broom was a way for slaves back in the day to get married as they could not legally wed back then. Today the tradition has taken a slightly different meaning. Now the tradition is incorporated to recognize and pay homage to the legacy left behind by people’s ancestors in the black community. This shows how certain traditions can change their meaning depending on the period.

MANGALYA DHARAM

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 60
Occupation: Orthopedic Surgeon
Residence: London, United Kingdom
Performance Date: April 2023
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Mangalya Dharam, also known as the Tying of the Sacred Thread, is a significant ritual during a South Indian wedding. It is a symbol of the groom’s acceptance of the bride as his partner for life and his commitment to take care of her.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual is performed in the presence of family members, friends, and religious priests, who bless the couple for long and prosperous married life.

CONTEXT

Informant: AS is a 60-year-old man born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years.  He is my uncle. He is an Orthopedic Surgeon practicing in London. 

Interviewer:  Who and What is involved in this ritual?

AS: The groom’s family takes great care in selecting the sacred thread for the bride, which is usually passed down from generation to generation.  The thread is considered a family heirloom and is an important symbol of family pride and tradition.  The groom’s sisters and female relatives also participate in the ritual by placing kumkum or vermillion powder on the bride’s forehead, blessing her with a long and happy married life.  This ritual signifies the bride’s welcome into the family and the groom’s commitment to take care of her.  The ritual involves the tying of a sacred thread around the bride’s neck by the groom.    

Interviewer: What is the sacred thread made of?

AS: The thread is usually made of yellow thread and is adorned with sacred beads and symbols.

Interviewer:  How is the sacred thread tied?

AS: The groom ties the thread three knots around the bride’s neck, symbolizing the three-fold responsibilities of a husband towards his wife, which are Dharma, Artha, and Kama.

Interviewer: What are the husband’s responsibilities referred to by Dharma, Artha and Kama?

AS: Dharma is to support my wife and ensure her spiritual and emotional well-being. Artha is to provide financial and material support to my wife and family. Kama is to fulfill my wife’s physical and emotional needs and desires.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AS: I performed this ritual during my wedding.  Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 50 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Mangalya Dharam ritual has deep cultural and spiritual significance in South Indian weddings. It is believed that the sacred thread is a symbol of the bride’s chastity and purity, and it protects her from evil spirits and negative energies.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual also reflects the changing role of women in South Indian society. While the ritual has traditionally symbolized the bride’s acceptance of her role as a wife and homemaker, it now also represents her right to equal status and respect in the family and society.  Many couples today choose to modify the traditional Mangalya Dharam ritual to include vows of mutual respect, understanding, and partnership between the bride and groom.  The significance of the Mangalya Dharam ritual goes beyond the wedding day. It is a reminder to the couple of their commitment to each other and their responsibilities towards their family and society. The thread is worn by the bride as a symbol of her marital status and is a reminder of the groom’s love and commitment towards her.

KANYADAANAM

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 60
Occupation: ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON
Residence: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Performance Date: APRIL 2023
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Kanyadaanam is a significant ritual that takes place during a traditional South Indian wedding. It is a sacred ceremony that marks the giving away of the bride by her parents to the groom. The word “Kanyadaanam” is derived from two Sanskrit words, “Kanya” which means daughter, and “Daanam” which means gift or donation.

CONTEXT

Informant: AS is a 60-year-old man born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years. He is my uncle. He is an Orthopedic Surgeon practicing in London. 

Interviewer: When does this Kanyadaanam happen?

AS: The ceremony takes place on the wedding day, typically after the groom’s arrival at the wedding venue. The bride’s father or any male member of the family performs the Kanyadaanam ceremony.    In some cases, the bride’s mother may also participate in the ritual.

Interviewer: What happens during this ritual?

AS: The ceremony begins with the bride’s father washing the groom’s feet, which is a sign of respect and humility. The groom is then welcomed into the wedding mandapam (hall), where the Kanyadaanam ritual takes place.

Interviewer: Can you please explain the steps involved?

AS: During the wedding ceremony, the bride’s father places his daughter’s right hand on the groom’s right hand and pours holy water over their hands. He then recites mantras and prayers, seeking the blessings of the gods and goddesses for the couple’s happy and prosperous life. The bride’s father then places a coconut and betel leaves on the couple’s hands and ties them together with a sacred thread.

Interviewer: What does this ritual signify?

AS:  Bride’s father hands over the responsibility of his daughter to the groom, who promises to take care of her and fulfill his duties as a husband.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AS: Over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 50 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Kanyadaanam ceremony is considered one of the most important rituals in a South Indian wedding, as it symbolizes the complete acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family.  It is a moment of joy and emotion for both the bride and groom’s families.  The Kanyadaanam ceremony is considered an emotional moment for the bride’s family, as they bid farewell to their daughter and give her away to a new family.  It is also a moment of joy for the groom’s family, as they welcome the new bride into their family and accept her as one of their own. The ceremony is performed with great devotion and reverence and is an important part of the rich cultural heritage of South India.

SAPTAPADI

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 50
Occupation: GENERAL PHYSICIAN
Residence: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Performance Date: APRIL 2023
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Saptapadi, also known as the seven steps or vows, is a sacred ritual that takes place during a traditional South Indian wedding. It is considered one of the most important ceremonies of the wedding and symbolizes the union of the bride and groom as husband and wife.  The word “Saptapadi” is derived from two Sanskrit words, “Sapta” which means seven, and “Padi” which means steps.

CONTEXT

Informant: AA is a 50-year-old woman born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years.  She is my aunt. She is a General Physician practicing in London.

Interviewer: When does this Saptapadi ritual happen?

AA: The Saptapadi ceremony takes place after the Kanyadaanam ritual, and it involves the bride and groom taking seven steps together around the sacred fire.  Each step is taken with a vow or promises the couple makes to each other.

Interviewer:  What happens during this ritual?

AA:  The ceremony begins with the bride and groom standing facing each other, holding hands. The priest recites mantras and prayers, seeking the blessings of the gods and goddesses for the couple’s happy and prosperous life.  The bride and groom then take seven steps together around the sacred fire, with each step representing a promise or vow.

Interviewer:  What do you think is the significance of each step?

AA:  Each step has its own significance.

  1. The first step is taken for food and nourishment, a commitment to taking care of each other’s physical needs.
  2. The second step is taken for strength and power, a pledge to support each other and overcome any challenges that may come their way.
  3. The third step is taken for prosperity and wealth, a commitment to sharing their wealth and building a successful life together.
  4. The fourth step is taken for happiness, a promise to bring happiness and joy into each other’s lives.
  5. The fifth step is taken for children, a pledge to raise a family together and to provide their children with love, care, and education.
  6. The sixth step is taken for friendship, a commitment to being each other’s best friend and companion for life.
  7. The seventh and final step is taken for eternity, a promise to love and cherish each other for all eternity.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AA: I performed this ritual during my wedding. Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 25 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Saptapadi ceremony is a significant ritual in a traditional South Indian wedding, as it symbolizes the union of two individuals into one. It is a moment of joy and celebration, as the couple takes their first steps together as husband and wife.    The Saptapadi ceremony is a beautiful and meaningful ritual that emphasizes the importance of mutual love, respect, and commitment between the bride and groom.  The Saptapadi ceremony interpretation lies in the seven vows or promises that the bride and groom make to each other. These vows symbolize the commitment that the couple has towards each other and the life they will share together.