Tag Archives: Wedding Rituals

Traditional Taiwanese Engagement and Wedding Customs – Folk Ritual

Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 60+
Occupation: Retired
Performance Date: 4/29/2023
Language: Taiwanese

1. Text

Interview transcription:

When asked to share a traditional Taiwanese custom, the informant shared the following Taiwanese wedding tradition.

The interview was conducted in a mix of Mandarin and Taiwanese. It has been translated below into English and organized in the order performed into categories for ease of comprehension.

Pt 1. Engagement Customs

a) Intro:

“In Taiwanese culture, weddings happen like this. The parents of the bride and the groom meet, they usually have a meal together in a hotel. They then decide that the bride and groom shall get engaged. The engagement celebration, or *訂婚 (*phonetics “Ding Hun”; transliterated as “set marriage”), is hosted by the bride’s family. The bride’s family determines how many tables need to be set up, who to invite, which are usually the parents of the bride and groom, as well as the elders of both families such as the grandparents or other older relatives.”

b) Crackers:

“There is a saying that goes “*甲查某子 換大餅” (*a rhythmic phrase in Taiwanese which is translated to “marry off your daughter, get a big cracker”). This is because the groom’s family orders big round traditional Chinese/Taiwanese crackers called *喜餅 (*Mandarin word read as “Xi Bing”; transliterated as “Happiness Cake”) that is given to the bride’s family and relatives. There are also *小餅 (*small crackers that are usually Western cookies in a tin box).

c) Gifts:

“In the old days, there is a tradition of the bride’s family preparing *擺下 (*transliterating what I heard as a Taiwanese phrase to Mandarin, should mean a “gift set” in English) where 12 or 24 items are carefully selected and given to the groom’s family along with the bride. Some examples of things that can be in the set are pig feet meat tied with a red ribbon, cooked abalone, and a Western suit set for the groom, including pants, socks and shoes. Although people now simplified the suit giving tradition to giving the groom money to pick his own suit.”

“From the groom’s mother, called *婆婆 (*phonetics “po po”; translation “mother-in-law”), traditionally *品禮 (*Taiwanese word transliterated to Mandarin, means “proper gift”) is given to the bride. It is a box that contains a set of gold jewelry passed down from the mother-in-law to the bride.”

Pt 2. Wedding Customs

a) Intro

“Yes while the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, the wedding is hosted by the groom’s family. The celebration is called a *喜宴 (*Mandarin word read as “Xi Yian”; transliterated as “Happiness Banquet”; translated as “wedding banquet”). It is usually held in hotels.”

“Recently because of Covid there has been very few wedding banquets. But after Covid restrictions are gone, people will hold their banquets like before.”

b) Traditional Wedding

When asked to recount the informant’s own wedding, the informant responded with the following:

“In the old days weddings were very traditional and over-the-top. When the bride is wed into the groom’s family, there would be a truck that carries all of the bride’s furniture, such as her dressing table, to the groom’s house.”

“There would be someone called the *媒人 (*Mandarin word read as “Mei Ren”), which is someone who holds the bride’s hand as she walks from her home to the groom’s home. There would also be another person who is usually someone that is higher aged, and is known to have a lot of *福氣(*Taiwanese word transliterated to Mandarin, read in Taiwanese as “Hou Ki”, means “luck/fortune”) to hold the bride’s hand and walk her to the groom’s house.”

c) Registering Marriage

When asked about how registering worked, the informant responded:

“Registering marriage is a separate thing from the engagement and wedding tradition. Couples can register whenever they want and it is very easy to do so at the local government building.”

2. Context

Informant relation to the piece:

The informant is a Taiwanese person of the more elderly generation who has lived in Taiwan their whole life. They recounted the piece from their memory having experienced many Taiwanese weddings in Taiwan.

Informant interpretation of the piece:

They interpret the rituals as a tradition that has been passed down through generations in Taiwan but is also changing due to modernization. They look back at old rituals with nostalgia and a sense of humor. They feel proud sharing Taiwanese traditional customs.

3. Analysis

In traditional Taiwanese culture, parents and the older generation members of the family play a huge role in the engagements and marriages of their sons and daughters. This tradition could have developed from ancient Chinese society where marriage decided whether a family prospered or not, therefore a great amount of care and control is exercised over the marriable children of the family. In addition, families also used marriage as a tool to gain status or riches, whereas royal families would use marriage to make peace with other nations as tools of warfare. Therefore, there is this longstanding tradition of the parents deciding spouses and planning marriage for the children. This is reflected in the Taiwanese engagement and wedding ritual collected above as the parents are present throughout the ritual and hold a great amount of power in the rituals, preparing gifts and hosting banquets. This ritual has a profound impact on how Taiwanese people view marriage. Young people may find themselves feeling suppressed by the marriage expectations of their parents or elders who hold such an important role in the marriage rituals, therefore when considering potential spouses the preference of the parents or elders in the family is often a huge factor that influences their decisions. If young people do choose to engage and marry someone without the blessing of the older generations, it would be difficult for them to perform the Taiwanese engagement and wedding ritual as they would be missing important people who are part of the ceremony. This is not to say that marriages are all traditional in Taiwan, in fact, Taiwan is the very first Asian country to legalize gay marriage. Therefore the ritual is able to be performed in non-traditional contexts. This suggests that it is not the ritual that is creating the rigid framework for marriage but rather the perspective of the parents and older generations, which if changed, can make this marriage ritual a celebratory one rather than controlling.

Wedding Bells – Irish wedding rituals

Nationality: Russian, Irish
Age: 59
Occupation: Office Manager
Residence: California
Language: English

Text:

KT: “This is a wedding tradition that mostly comes from my dad’s side of the family [Irish heritage], but I did it at my wedding and I believe my mother did it at her and my father’s wedding too. So, after me and your dad left the church, all the guests rang little silver bells that were passed out before the ceremony. Bells are said to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck in a marriage. They also rang the church bells too if I remember correctly, which is pretty normal for church weddings. The guests got to keep the bells and they rang them as we can in for the reception too which was really pretty. I really liked that.”

Me: “Where did you learn about this wedding tradition?”

KT: “I learned about it from my parents, I think. Like I said, I think they did something similar at their wedding. Your grandmother isn’t Irish, but your grandfather is, so they incorporated some Irish traditions into the wedding. I think he must have learned it from his family because I think I remember my mom saying my uncle did the same thing at his wedding too.”

Me: “Do you know what generation American you are?”

KT: “Yes, so my dad’s dad came from Ireland. That means my grandfather and grandmother, which would make me a 2nd generation American, I think. So, I guess that tradition is probably pretty popular in Ireland, at least in our family. I don’t know anyone in Ireland, from our family or otherwise, so I don’t really know. It’s funny too because I don’t think my sister or brother did it at their ceremonies, I can’t really remember, but they both got married first, and my mother was insistent that I do it. My dad passed when I was three months old, but you know, my mom remarried, so I was the last of her kids from my real dad. I think that’s why she really wanted me to do it since I was the last one from that side of the family.

Me: “Did you incorporate any other family or cultural traditions into your wedding?”

KT: “Well we had a Catholic wedding ceremony, which has specific things to complete the Sacrament of Matrimony. I don’t know if we really have any other specific family traditions. Well, I guess besides the bells, that’s kind of a tradition now.”

Me: “Did it feel important to connect to your Irish heritage, and in a way your dad?”

KT: “Yeah, it was nice. I never really knew him, only my stepfather, so doing something like that I like to think my dad would have appreciated it. My stepfather was Irish too, so we still did a lot of Irish things and such growing up, but it was special because my real dad did it at his wedding.”

Context: KT is a 59 year old from California. She is of Irish decent. This wedding celebration was passed down to her from her parents, and she is unsure of how far back the tradition goes in her family, but it is a very popular wedding tradition in Ireland. She told me this story in-person, and I recorded it to transcribe.

Analysis: This is a relatively common Irish tradition, one that has influence in even non-Irish weddings. As my informant mentioned, even churches for non-Irish ceremonies have a practice of ringing the church bells after the ceremony is concluded. This Irish tradition has been acculturated into a religious tradition as well, in part, likely due to the strong religious ties in Ireland. This practice is directly linked to folk legends of fairies and spirits in Ireland, as the bells are to ward off evil spirits that could cause strife for the celebrations or the new couple. It is also important to note that this tradition was encouraged by KT’s mother to connect KT to her heritage and her father, even though it is not a practice from her culture [KT’s mother is Russian]. She wanted KT to connect to her culture and the important cultural practices. It was also a way that KT was able to remember her father and have a link to him on a very important day in her life, one that is centered around family. KT also mentions that she got married in a Catholic church, and in doing so, took part in the Sacrament of Matrimony. This is a religious tradition, which has its own set of specific rites that are completed. To receive this sacrament, certain things must be completed by the bride and groom, no matter what cultural background they are from, since it is purely religious in nature.

Wedding Tradition – “Jumping the broom”

Nationality: Black
Age: 18
Occupation: Student

Text:

“A wedding tradition…specifically African Americans jump the broom at their weddings which is basically at the end of the sermon they jump over the broom…it’s literally a broom.”

Context:

One of my friends is African American and she was explaining this wedding tradition that many black communities partake in. She said it was a way of “giving thanks” as well as “honoring their ancestors.” She talked about how in the past slaves weren’t allowed to get married so this was an “act of defiance against the slave masters to jump the broom…to say we’re married after a pastor or sermon.” This tradition has continued to this day, even though they can legally get married, to show “thanks to the ancestors…that we see them.” She went on to say that it is an important aspect of her culture to honor their ancestors. She also said that many people in the outskirts of her family still practice this tradition as they believe it is “important to honor history and the ancestors…what they have gone through as a reminder that they are the reason we are here today.” 

Analysis:

It was interesting to hear of this tradition as it was quite new to me. The concept has a lot of history behind it and it’s mainly a tradition within the black community. That most likely contributes to the significance of the tradition as it connects people within that community. After doing a little research the origin of the tradition is still argued over today. Some believe it was started in West Africa to ward off evil spirits while some believe it originated in Wales. It is also believed that jumping the broom was a way for slaves back in the day to get married as they could not legally wed back then. Today the tradition has taken a slightly different meaning. Now the tradition is incorporated to recognize and pay homage to the legacy left behind by people’s ancestors in the black community. This shows how certain traditions can change their meaning depending on the period.

MANGALYA DHARAM

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 60
Occupation: Orthopedic Surgeon
Residence: London, United Kingdom
Performance Date: April 2023
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Mangalya Dharam, also known as the Tying of the Sacred Thread, is a significant ritual during a South Indian wedding. It is a symbol of the groom’s acceptance of the bride as his partner for life and his commitment to take care of her.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual is performed in the presence of family members, friends, and religious priests, who bless the couple for long and prosperous married life.

CONTEXT

Informant: AS is a 60-year-old man born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years.  He is my uncle. He is an Orthopedic Surgeon practicing in London. 

Interviewer:  Who and What is involved in this ritual?

AS: The groom’s family takes great care in selecting the sacred thread for the bride, which is usually passed down from generation to generation.  The thread is considered a family heirloom and is an important symbol of family pride and tradition.  The groom’s sisters and female relatives also participate in the ritual by placing kumkum or vermillion powder on the bride’s forehead, blessing her with a long and happy married life.  This ritual signifies the bride’s welcome into the family and the groom’s commitment to take care of her.  The ritual involves the tying of a sacred thread around the bride’s neck by the groom.    

Interviewer: What is the sacred thread made of?

AS: The thread is usually made of yellow thread and is adorned with sacred beads and symbols.

Interviewer:  How is the sacred thread tied?

AS: The groom ties the thread three knots around the bride’s neck, symbolizing the three-fold responsibilities of a husband towards his wife, which are Dharma, Artha, and Kama.

Interviewer: What are the husband’s responsibilities referred to by Dharma, Artha and Kama?

AS: Dharma is to support my wife and ensure her spiritual and emotional well-being. Artha is to provide financial and material support to my wife and family. Kama is to fulfill my wife’s physical and emotional needs and desires.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AS: I performed this ritual during my wedding.  Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 50 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Mangalya Dharam ritual has deep cultural and spiritual significance in South Indian weddings. It is believed that the sacred thread is a symbol of the bride’s chastity and purity, and it protects her from evil spirits and negative energies.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual also reflects the changing role of women in South Indian society. While the ritual has traditionally symbolized the bride’s acceptance of her role as a wife and homemaker, it now also represents her right to equal status and respect in the family and society.  Many couples today choose to modify the traditional Mangalya Dharam ritual to include vows of mutual respect, understanding, and partnership between the bride and groom.  The significance of the Mangalya Dharam ritual goes beyond the wedding day. It is a reminder to the couple of their commitment to each other and their responsibilities towards their family and society. The thread is worn by the bride as a symbol of her marital status and is a reminder of the groom’s love and commitment towards her.

KANYADAANAM

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 60
Occupation: ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON
Residence: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Performance Date: APRIL 2023
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Kanyadaanam is a significant ritual that takes place during a traditional South Indian wedding. It is a sacred ceremony that marks the giving away of the bride by her parents to the groom. The word “Kanyadaanam” is derived from two Sanskrit words, “Kanya” which means daughter, and “Daanam” which means gift or donation.

CONTEXT

Informant: AS is a 60-year-old man born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years. He is my uncle. He is an Orthopedic Surgeon practicing in London. 

Interviewer: When does this Kanyadaanam happen?

AS: The ceremony takes place on the wedding day, typically after the groom’s arrival at the wedding venue. The bride’s father or any male member of the family performs the Kanyadaanam ceremony.    In some cases, the bride’s mother may also participate in the ritual.

Interviewer: What happens during this ritual?

AS: The ceremony begins with the bride’s father washing the groom’s feet, which is a sign of respect and humility. The groom is then welcomed into the wedding mandapam (hall), where the Kanyadaanam ritual takes place.

Interviewer: Can you please explain the steps involved?

AS: During the wedding ceremony, the bride’s father places his daughter’s right hand on the groom’s right hand and pours holy water over their hands. He then recites mantras and prayers, seeking the blessings of the gods and goddesses for the couple’s happy and prosperous life. The bride’s father then places a coconut and betel leaves on the couple’s hands and ties them together with a sacred thread.

Interviewer: What does this ritual signify?

AS:  Bride’s father hands over the responsibility of his daughter to the groom, who promises to take care of her and fulfill his duties as a husband.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AS: Over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 50 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Kanyadaanam ceremony is considered one of the most important rituals in a South Indian wedding, as it symbolizes the complete acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family.  It is a moment of joy and emotion for both the bride and groom’s families.  The Kanyadaanam ceremony is considered an emotional moment for the bride’s family, as they bid farewell to their daughter and give her away to a new family.  It is also a moment of joy for the groom’s family, as they welcome the new bride into their family and accept her as one of their own. The ceremony is performed with great devotion and reverence and is an important part of the rich cultural heritage of South India.