Tag Archives: Wedding Rituals

METTI

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 50
Occupation: GENERAL PYSICIAN
Residence: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Performance Date: APRIL 2023

TEXT

Metti, also known as ‘Metti poduthal’, is an important ritual that takes place during the South Indian wedding ceremony.  It is a ritual that is performed by the groom, and it involves the wearing of a toe ring or ‘Metti’ on the bride’s second toe of both feet.   The Metti is made of either silver or gold and is an integral part of the bridal jewelry.

CONTEXT

Informant: AA is a 50-year-old woman born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years.  She is my aunt. She is a General Physician practicing in London.

Interviewer: What happens during this ritual?

AA: During the Metti ritual, the groom ties the toe ring on the bride’s second toe of both feet. The groom’s sisters or female relatives also participate in the ritual by placing kumkum or vermillion powder on the bride’s feet.

Interviewer: What is the significance of this ritual?

AA: This ritual symbolizes the acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family and the groom’s commitment to protect and take care of the bride.

Interviewer: Are there any beliefs that metti has impacts on physical health?

AA: The toe ring is usually made of silver or gold, which is known for its healing and purifying properties. These properties are believed to be absorbed by the body through the toes, which are considered to be the nerve endings of the body.

Interviewer: Are there any beliefs that metti has impacts on women’s reproductive health?

AA: By tying the Metti, the groom is believed to be invoking the blessings of the divine mother and seeking her protection for the bride’s reproductive health.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AA: I have done this ritual during my wedding. Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 25 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests.    

ANALYSIS

The Metti has cultural and social significance.  In many South Indian communities, the Metti is considered to be a symbol of a married woman.  The Metti is also considered to be a symbol of love and commitment between the husband and wife.  It is believed in Indian tradition, that the second toe of the feet corresponds to the uterus and ovaries in women. The significance of Metti lies in its association with the well-being of the bride’s reproductive health. It is believed that the Metti helps regulate the menstrual cycle and prevent certain reproductive disorders.

PANDA KAAL MUHURTHAM

Nationality: UNITED KINGDOM
Age: 50
Occupation: GENERAL PHYSICIAN
Residence: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Language: ENGLISH

TEXT

Panda Kaal Muhurtham is one of Tamil culture’s most significant pre-wedding rituals. It is a sacred ceremony that takes place before the actual wedding day and marks the beginning of the wedding preparations.  It is also referred to as “Panda Kaal Naduthal”.

CONTEXT:

Informant: AA is a 50-year-old woman born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years. She is my aunt. She is a General Physician practicing in London. 

Interviewer: What is your understanding of the words “Panda Kaal Naduthal”?

AA:  The word “Panda” means auspicious and “Kaal” means time. Therefore, Panda Kaal Naduthal is the auspicious time that is selected for the wedding ritual.  It is done usually 3 or 5 days before the wedding day.  This is based on the bride and groom’s birth chart, which is known as the “Jathagam” in Tamil.

Interviewer: Can you explain in detail who and how the auspicious time is determined?

AA: The date and time of the Panda Kaal Naduthal is suggested by a professional astrologer who takes into account the position of the stars, planets, and the moon.  The astrologer also considers other factors such as the date and time of birth of the bride and groom, their zodiac signs, and the alignment of the planets at the time of the wedding.

Interviewer: Can you elaborate on what happens during this ritual?

AA:  During this ceremony, a bamboo stick is first cleaned with water, milk, turmeric, and sandalwood paste.  It is then decorated with flowers, mango leaves, and turmeric powder. Typically 7 or 9 married women will hold the bamboo stick and the priest recites mantras and prayers, seeking the blessings of the gods and goddesses for a successful and happy wedding.  The bamboo stick is then placed in a pot filled with water and sand, symbolizing the start of a new journey for the couple.

Interviewer: Why do they use the Bamboo Stick?

AA: The bamboo stick is cut from a healthy bamboo plant, which is considered a symbol of strength, resilience, and longevity. The bamboo plant is also known for its ability to grow quickly, which is seen as a sign of prosperity and growth. 

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AA: This ritual was performed during our wedding. Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 25 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

In Tamil culture, the Panda Kaal Naduthal is considered very important, as it sets the tone for the entire wedding ceremony.  It is believed that if the Panda Kaal Naduthal is not performed at the right time, it could bring bad luck and affect the marriage in a negative way.  The bamboo stick is also considered a symbol of the groom, as it is believed that the groom represents the bamboo plant, which is strong, resilient, and able to withstand any challenge. The bamboo stick is therefore used to bless the groom and to ensure that he is successful in his life ahead.  It is believed that the bamboo stick will bring good luck and prosperity to the couple and protect them from any obstacles that may come their way.  The Panda Kaal Naduthal is a testament to the rich cultural heritage of Tamil Nadu and is an important part of the wedding ceremony.

Bring The Bride!

Nationality: Lebanese
Age: 47
Occupation: Mother
Residence: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Performance Date: February 21st, 2023
Primary Language: Arabic
Language: English

Original: “جلب العروس“

Transliteration: Jalab El Aroos

Translation: “Bring the bride”

The informant is one of my family members who is married and has been raised in Lebanon for most of her life. She discusses instances in her childhood and moments with her family that are the most significant to her culture and upbringing

Context:

She states that “Lebanese heritage lies mostly within special occasions such as weddings, which is one of the most important moments of every Lebanese individual’s life as it brings most of the family together to practice passionate traditions that can only be done on these rare occasions” conveying the importance of culture within Lebanese Culture. She states that “This certain grand gesture is mostly practised by the Druze religion and is the process of claiming the bride from her family home” The Druze religion is the smallest religious group in Lebanon that have a certain manner in performing wedding ceremonies specifically. The process involves “driving from the groom to the brides home with a traditional Lebanese ‘Zaffe’ which includes a band and dancers dressed in traditional Druze wear” which the informant states have been done at her wedding in a vast manner. She ends with “The groom and family must dance and sing until they reach the bride to claim her from her parents and take her back to his home” The informant has specifically stated that this process is accurate at all Druze weddings and is a part of the ritual of their marriage.

Analysis:

The formal use of the title of the gesture highlights how sacred this element of the wedding is to the culture and religion. Although the Druze community is not the largest religious group in Lebanon, it is still indicated to be the country with the highest Druze population, therefore, having such a theatrical part of the ceremony allows them to celebrate their culture in a day with the entirety of the community. The dance is the main element of the gesture highlighting the culture that is taught into daily life in the ceremony so that every individual has the chance to celebrate and bring their culture to light at this heightened moment of celebration together. Incorporating the traditional outfits of the religion allows the community to be seen by the rest of the country as they are the smallest religious group. Although the ceremony may not have religious scripture or performance elements incorporated such as Christianity or Islam, this is how the Druze community incorporates their culture into formal celebrations and rituals. It also portrays the unity between the families as it is not an aggressive ‘claim’ but instead an agreement to allow the couple to continue to thrive in a joint manner in the Druze community.

Persian Sugar Rubbing Ceremony

Nationality: Persian
Age: 42
Occupation: Entrepreneur
Residence: Vancouver, Canada
Performance Date: 3/12/2021
Primary Language: English
Language: Farsi

Informant’s Background:

The informant is my (not-blood-related) aunt, who married my uncle on my Dad’s side. She is from Iran, and moved to Canada a few years before marrying my uncle. They had a traditional Persian wedding.

Context:

My uncle and aunt were visiting us, and so I asked my aunt about a particular tradition I saw practiced at their wedding.

Performance:

AN: “Ah, yes. At the wedding we grind sugar cones together and put it over the white sheet that’s held over the bride and groom’s head as a symbol of them having a sweet life together for the rest of their lives.”

Thoughts:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to ask many questions as it was a busy day, but the ritual seems in-line with many wedding rituals, in that it is good-spirited, and intended to bring joy and happiness to the newly wedded couple.

The Wedding Band in Jewish Marriage Ceremonies

Nationality: American
Age: 52
Occupation: Attorney
Residence: Baltimore, MD
Performance Date: May 3, 2021
Primary Language: English

Main piece: Before my husband and I got married, we went to see the Rabbi that was set to perform the ceremony, and he said that among the objects we had to have for the ceremony was a different wedding band. Because the engagement ring I had on had diamonds, and traditionally, Jews don’t wear diamonds to their own wedding. He also said the ring had to be large enough to fit on the index finger of my right hand, because, according to him, this has the blood supply that is closest to your heart. So I borrowed my mother’s platinum wedding band, which was large enough to fit on my index finger because my mother’s hands are much larger than my hands. And if you watch the video of my wedding, you’ll watch my husband placing my mother’s wedding band on the right index finger. After the ceremony, I gave my mother back her wedding band, and I slipped my own diamond engagement ring back on the fourth finger of my left hand, which is the traditional place people wear wedding rings. 

Background: My informant is a fifty-three year old Jewish woman from Los Angeles, California. She and her husband were married by Rabbi Joel Rembaum of Temple Beth Am in Beverly Hills, CA in 1999.

Context: The first my informant heard of this tradition was during the meeting with the Rabbi at their meeting leading up to their wedding. While she honored the Rabbi’s wants, and believes that the maybe the index finger has the blood supply that leads closest to one’s heart, she has been wearing her wedding rings in the Western tradition (fourth finger of her left hand) for as long as she has been married. 

Analysis: Interestingly, the origins of the Western custom of putting a ring finger on the fourth finger of one’s left hand has the same belief as the Rabbi’s custom – that the ring finger has the “vena amoris”, or has a vein that runs directly to the heart. This has been biologically disproven; there is no one vein in one’s that leads to their heart, and the vasculature in one’s hands is all pretty much the same. However, in Jewish tradition, there is no talmudic evidence that a couple even needs wedding rings to sanctify or represent a marriage, and in fact the groom could give the bride anything of value as a representation of their intimacy (books and coins were traditionally used). The only rule was that the object be “whole and unbroken”, which could explain why there are to be no stones set into the metal. Gold is preferred; in Judaism, gold is symbolic of the glory of God, so in a ceremony or ritual as important as marriage, it is a way to represent monogamy and sexual intimacy within the bond of God – that there is a religious or divine promise the wife makes to her husband. As for the right index finger, it seems that Rabbi had the same belief in the “vena amoris” as many Westerners had, but it could also be because the index finger is more frequently used (as it is the pointer finger), and therefore the ring/symbol of their marriage is more prevalent. Additionally, in Jewish and Roman tradition, the right hand is used to perform oaths.

Lamm, Maurice. “The Marriage Ring in Judaism.” Chabad.org. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Accessed May 3, 2021. https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/481776/jewish/The-Marriage-Ring-in-Judaism.htm.