Tag Archives: wedding

Eritrean Wedding Day 2: Melsi

Background provided by DG: DG was born and raised in Redlands, California. Both of their parents were born in west Africa, but more specifically Eritrea. Eritrea is located on the Horn of Africa and adjacent to the Red Sea. They belong to a specific tribe of Eritrea, called Blen (spelled Blien). DG also identifies as being part of the Habesha ethnic group, which describes Roman Orthodox Christians in West Africa. After the war broke out, both of their parents migrated to America.

Context: DG was approached about folklore, which they shared in the middle of the day. They were very enthusiastic about sharing parts of their culture because not many people are aware of Eritrean tradition and culture. They explain some general details about Eritrean weddings, which span for a minimum of three days. The first day is known as the Day of Blessings.

Main Piece Transcription of interview (contains the context of particular performance and additional background information):
DG: “The second day is … like the actual thing … they go to church. Umm .. cause we’re all Christian (laughs). And then, at the end of mass, they were like a crown … and like … a cape … like bridal cape … and they walk out of church wearing this. It’s like … more religious thing. They wear that thing and … take photos. This is like … the most American part of the wedding … like the bride is wearing like … a typical American gown.  Uhhh … when the bride … groom … walk in … they don’t have .. like a typical announcement. Like … the men … all the men enter … and the women stand in … like a procession and there’s like … a procession into the venue. Like everybody is standing outside and everybody enters … together. The men begin … then its the groomsmen … then the bridesmaids … then the bride and groom come in, together.  All the women are holding flowers as they … like  enter, so … like that procession … it … ALWAYS happens … like in American weddings I’ve seen they say “ Welcome, Mr. and Mrs.”, but … they never do that. It’s … like somebody always has like a … drum … it’s like a big drum and it goes like (rhythmically taps the desk to make a baaa-dumm baaa-dumm noise), then they sing … like … uhhh “Marshala, Marshala” (in sing-song voice). They always sing that song … it kinda means … like … umm welcome … or something. They sing and they dance, then they sit.  Then the bride and groom eat, and everybody eat.  And then everybody dances to Tigrinya music, the WHOLE time. And then … also … typically… they don’t do this so much anymore, but in a lot of weddings it’s called a gorshaw (spelled gorsha) … in a VERY traditional wedding they do gorshaw, where like … the bride and groom eat … the maid of honor … and the like … ummm … best man, they feed the bride and groom. They don’t touch their food, and that’s like called gorshaw … like …when someone else feeds you … is called gorshaw … cause its like a hand food … so like … they feed them. It doesn’t normally happen on the first day … cause like  … its much more traditional for the second day, cause that’s much more traditional. And then …  when there’s like … cake … in a VERY traditional … like when I see wedding videos from Eritrea … the bride and groom stand up after they eat the cake … and feed all their guests, and their guests feed them. Like that’s a very traditional thing, in the Eritrean culture, everybody is always feeding everybody. The second day it’s called a Melsi (proceeds to spell it M-E-L-S-E) … and like on that day … the majority of that day … the women are getting ready … because they have to get their hair … like braided … in traditional braids. And they also get … like henna. Like traditionally, you’re not supposed to get henna until … you’re like married … so he bride gets it all over their hands and feet … but like … the most someone who is not getting married can get is like a little dot right here (uses index finger to point to the center of their palm) … but like … yeah. They get their hair braided, henna, and like everyone wears sooyahs, which are like … cultural dresses. And that’s like the bridesmaids … and the groomsmen. You can also … I went to a wedding … where we were … like chiffon … it was my cousin’s wedding … and we wore like … chiffon. That’s like … much more fancy than … like a Sooyah. It’s kinda … like another party … with the same procession, but like … the bridesmaids at a certain point … do like a boon ceremony (spelled bun), which … is … like … coffee … and like the bridesmaids .. we  do … like a … dance … we’re supposed to do like a dance around the bride. We … uhh … carry  … like all the materials to make coffee. Everybody … like … dances around the table … and the … like older women make coffee, for like … the bridesmaids and the bride, not for the men. ONLY for the women. It’s like very traditional. Then … yeah … they’re married … and people party … Also people drink a lot of … uh soowah (spelled siwa),  Habesha alcohol.  Typically, someone … like … in the family makes it, before time. And they put it in bottles, and the bottles have … like stickers that have … have photos of the bride and groom. Then we eat ingerat (spelled injera), that’s like a traditional Eritrean dish.”

Analysis: Weddings are often big events. DG explains many of the intricacies involved with Eritrean weddings. The second day, Melsi seems to be the focal point of Eritrean traditions. The subtle variations of the traditions DG mentioned demonstrates the dynamic nature of culture as it relates to nuptial ceremonies. It seems like Eritrean weddings are occasions that involve the whole community in an extremely intimate event. The wedding also emphasizes the various stages of maturation, especially with the Bun and henna.

Marriage Luck

Text:

“When I got married, [I was told by my sister-in-law] the bride wasn’t supposed to walk down the center aisle for the rehearsal because it would curse your wedding. It was also seen of as good luck if it rained on your wedding day and that would give you good fortune in your lives.”

Context:

JN is a 50-year-old freelance writer in Minnesota, where she grew up as well. She told me about a wedding tradition from when she got married, because she remembers that she accidentally walked down the center aisle during her rehearsal and was told that her wedding was cursed, but during the wedding itself it rained which she was told was good luck.  


Interpretation:

It’s interesting the superstitions that develop from liminal time periods like weddings, as it seems like so much is changing that we try to rationalize it by creating rules. The fact of the matter is, marriage is huge shift in one’s life, so if things go well or poorly after that, it is easy to blame it on that one day. And during the wedding itself, because those getting married are aware of how important it is and how much is changing, they will likely buy into the superstitions because they don’t want to risk anything going wrong. Either the people will stay married forever or they will get divorced, so either you have good luck in marriage or bad luck. Instead of blaming bad luck on personal decisions or poor choices, it’s easier to blame it on things that are out of one’s control, like the weather or a mistake during the rehearsal. People are quick to look for scapegoats for poor decisions rather than analyze their own hand in their fate. 

Aso Ebi

The Aso Ebi is a cultural cloth that is worn during certain marriage events. In Nigerian customs, there are two weddings. The first is a religious wedding full of religious traditions. After that wedding is the cultural wedding, where the bride has her own unique dress, the Aso Ebi. The bridesmaids all wear a unique other dress with a different style to the bride. In each tribe, the Aso Ebi is different. The Ebo tribe uses coral with their Aso Ebi.

O is a culturally Nigerian African American woman whose mother knows a lot about Nigerian culture. She had learned this ritual from her mother as well as individual research

Context: This item came up during a discussion about Nigerian culture. This was memorable to her because she loved the styles of these dresses and was very interested in finding more about them herself.

What strikes me as very interesting his how the Nigerian wedding is structured, in that there is much room for individuality and customization. It also fits with many different religions. The two separate weddings allows the couple to celebrate their wedding without angering either the historical customs nor the religious peoples. It can be a form of adaptation against colonization, as the colonizers would have a vetted interest against cultural practices. The diversity of dresses also allows for different tribes to have their own twist to the tradition while still making it distinctly Nigerian.

Jumping the Broom

MS is a 60 year old mother of five from the South. She is strongly connected to her African American heritage and has been to many weddings in her family and community where the newlyweds jumped the broom.

Context: Jumping the broom is a tradition that roots from slavery where the newlyweds would jump the broom to commence their marriage since slaves were not allowed to marry. This was collected after dinner sitting at the table.

Transcript:

Collector: From your experience, what does it mean when a couple jumps the broom?

MS: Almost all of the weddings I have been to where the jumping the broom took place have been the same. What happens is, after the bride and groom kiss at the end of the ceremony, they turn towards the witnesses and the broom is placed before them. They first kiss the tips of their fingers and touch the broom. Then they hold hands and jump the broom together.

Collector: Since black people can legally get married now, why do you think African Americans continue to jump the broom?

MS: I think they still do it in honor of their ancestors and where they come from. Many southern folk keep the tradition going since slavery was especially prominent there. It also represents togetherness and is the first presentation of the couple as a unit, so it’s important.

Thoughts/Analysis: Traditions that come from historical adaptations are especially interesting. The tradition of jumping the broom was a result of the determination of African Americans to create and officiate their own families and lives. The way that African Americans today continue the tradition speaks to their continuous connection to their heritage. Heritage is not something one can simply adopt or take place in. The participants in this performance inherited it from elders in their family and will continue to pass it on. This is also a variation of jumping the broom, I have heard of this tradition before but never heard about the newlyweds kissing their hands and touching the broom.

Wedding Garter Toss Practical Joke

KS is a 56 year old father of five who grew up in and resides in Southern Maryland. He has been married for twenty years and has been to many weddings throughout his life.

Context: KS experienced this practical joke at a wedding of a good friend of his.

Transcript:

KS: You know the reception tradition of the groom going under the brides dress to take off her garter? Before it was time for my friend to take off his wife’s garter, he hid a pair of XXL bloomers in his pants pocket. When he went to take off the garter, he came out from under her dress with the bloomers instead of the garter. Everyone had a good laugh, the bride included. He went back though and took off the actual garter.

Collector: What do you think made him make that joke?

KS: Hmm. I think he wanted to take the pressure off of taking the garter off in front of his family, especially his parents. It can be hard to do things like that in front of them; I know some people who did not even like the idea of kissing their wife in front of the older folk. It definitely helped bond the families too. A good laugh can always do that.

Analysis: The tradition of the groom taking off the bride’s garter is similar to the bride throwing the bouquet to the bridesmaids. The way the groom throws the garter to the groomsmen is parallel to the bridesmaids catching the bouquet. It is seen mostly in American weddings. Originally, a piece of the bride’s dress was taken and thrown to all the guests for good luck.

For a variation of this practical joke/good luck charm and other similar wedding traditions, see:

Reade, Scarlett. “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something, Blue.” USC Digital Folklore Archives, May 18, 2021. http://uscfolklorearc.wpenginepowered.com/something-old-something-new-something-borrowed-something-blue-2/.