Author Archives: Elizabeth Callahan

The Pooping your Pants story

Nationality: American
Age: 56
Occupation: Graphic Designer
Residence: Massachusetts
Performance Date: March 13, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish, Italian

My informant told me a story about his younger brother:

“My brother, sister and I all went to an inner city Roman Catholic grammar school.  It was located next to a church, and every day during recess, at exactly noon, the bells would ring the Angelus and all children were supposed to stop in their tracks and quietly say a prayer until the bells stopped. The nuns patrolled the playground and no one moved. We kids actually liked to freeze in odd positions like statues. My little brother was a new first grader and afraid of doing anything wrong. During the first week of school he played during recess, but when it came time to freeze for the Angelus he couldn’t make it through because he had to go the bathroom. But he was young and nervous and afraid to anger the nuns by walking across the playground to the school’s bathroom. So he just pooped in his pants. I was assigned to clean him up and couldn’t understand how my brother let this happen.”

My informant told me that he often tells this story to his sons, daughters, nephews, and nieces at family gatherings. It is a funny story that always makes everyone laugh.

I found this piece of folklore interesting because my grandmother told a similar story involving peeing herself in class because she was afraid to ask to go to the bathroom. It seems like a common theme amongst children when they have to face obeying the rules even if it means soiling themselves. There is also always something funny about pooping your pants, no matter how old you are I find that people always find stories that involve soiling yourself funny.

Moses, Jesus, and a little old man golfing joke

Nationality: American
Age: 45
Occupation: Accountant
Residence: Connecticut
Performance Date: March 16, 2012
Primary Language: English

The following is a joke my informant told me:

Moses, Jesus, and a little old man are playing golf. They get to a particularly difficult hole which requires them to hit the ball onto a little island in the middle of a lake. Moses goes first and hits his ball into the water. He then puts his staff into the water, parts it, walks over to his ball, and hits it into the hole on the island. “Two!” he says. Next it is Jesus’s turn. He hits his ball into the water. Jesus walks out onto the water, and hits his ball into the hole on the island. “Two!” he says. Finally it is the little old man’s turn. He hits his ball into the water. A fish swims down, eats the ball, swims to the surface, spits it up, an eagle catches it, flies to the island, drops it into the hands of a squirrel, and the squirrel deposits the ball into the hole. “One!” the little old man exclaims. Moses then turns to Jesus and says: “Man, I hate playing with your dad.”

My informant says that he usually tells this joke while golfing, or at church. However, he says that since it is favorite joke, he often tells it in other situations. Since it is not offensive, it usually goes over well with everyone.

I like this joke a lot. It is not one that requires the listener to participate in the joke, and instead relies heavily on the punch line reveal that the little old man is god. I first heard it when I was 13, and I liked it because I could understand it. Still to this day I think that it is a very clever story. I have also found that even though it is a religious joke, it is not offensive. Often religious jokes cause trouble in that they make-fun of the stereotypes associated with a certain religion. This joke, however, is quite harmless, which is why it is easy to tell to any audience.

Camp Hayward song

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Massachusetts
Performance Date: March 13, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

My informant sung me a song that she said is often sung at the sleep-away camp she attends in the summer called Camp Hayward:

“Camp Hayward born and

Camp Hayward bread and

when I die I’ll be (pause) (clap)

Camp Hayward dead!

So, rah-rah, Camp Hayward, Hayward

Rah-Rah Camp Hayward, Hayward

We love Hayward, we love you!”

My informant said that she and the other campers were taught this song from the leader of the camp at their first camp-fire session. After that, the campers would sing it before every breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It is a happy song that gets everyone into the spirit of being at Camp Hayward. To this day it still reminds her of her experiences there. She told me that her younger sister, who also attended the camp, will often subconsciously hum the tune before they eat with their family.

I went to a similar camp when I was younger. We had songs that we sung before eating, but we called them “dinner songs.” They were similar in purpose, and often included the name of the camp in the lyrics. It was meant to keep us happy and our spirits up. Now, my friends and I will often sing the songs together as a way of connecting and remembering the time we spent there together.

Post Happy Birthday Song

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Massachusetts
Performance Date: March 13, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

My informant chanted to me a song that is sung directly after the commonly known “Happy Birthday” song:

“You sing the happy birthday song, and then right after that you sing:

Are you 1?

Are you 2?

Are you 3?

Are you 4?

Are you 5?

And then it keeps going until you reach the age the person is turning and they yell: Stop!”

My informant told me that this sometimes happens after the birthday song, but not always. She first heard it when she was at a birthday party in second grade. Once people reach an older age, the song becomes annoying, and often if the person is over 20 years old it is not sung because it is too long. Sometimes it begins and then other people cut it off because it is too long and annoying to go through every year until you reach the particular one that the birthday boy or girl is turning.

I remember singing this when I was younger. I am from the northeast, and I have found that it is common in that region. However, here in California most people have never heard of the chant. I personally did not like it, I found it annoying. In my experience once it begins to be chanted half of the people in the room participate and half roll their eyes and impatiently wait until it ends.

Monday Night Dinner

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Ohio/California
Performance Date: April 18, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: French

My informant told me about the tradition of “Monday Night Dinner” at sororities at USC

“Every Monday all the girls come to the sorority house for dinner. They all dress in fancy attire and arrive at the houses around 4:45pm. The new members make “deliveries”, which is when before dinner they bring gifts and notes to the different frats that are having Monday Night Dinner too. After they finish they come in and sit down to dinner. As they eat, boys from different frats come in and make deliveries to the house. The girls clap as they come in and each gift is delivered to the specific girl. They can be anything from a romantic bouquet to a funny card from a friend. It is also a way for frats and sororities to strengthen their relationships with each other by sending deliveries to certain houses.”

My informant told me that she enjoys the tradition, and she likes to take advantage of it for flirting with boys. If you like someone, you can send them a delivery.

I am in a sorority on campus and I enjoy the tradition of Monday Night Dinner as well. I have utilized it to ask certain boys to our House Invites and also to send funny notes to friends. I’ve also noticed that boys who are usually very shy will use this as a way to communicate with girls that they like. I’ve also noticed that if girls “hook up” with boys over the weekend it is often customary for the boy to send the girl a delivery on monday, such as chocolates or flowers, as (although it seems ridiculous) a “thank you, I’d like to kiss you again some time” kind of delivery.

I also talked to my friends who are in sororities in other schools and none of them were familiar with the tradition of “Monday Night Dinner”. It seems to be a unique tradition to the Greek System at USC. It has been happening for as long as many of my friends can remember, so I assume that it is something that the Greek life likes to keep alive to pride itself on its heritage.